A/N - Ok I really suck at the whole sex scene thing so if you don't like it, tell me how to improve! Read, reveiw and all that people...

Chapter Six – Falling Hearts and Failing Hands

For the few days that they were forced into the same living space, they avoided each other. Or to be more precise Grissom avoided Sara. He couldn't look at her, knowing that he had hurt her that much, so much so that she doubted what he felt for her. So he kept to himself, he left for work early, when he cooked he left her some before disappearing again. When she finally did leave, to his disappointment, she never said goodbye, she was just gone, leaving a small thank you note on the table for him. He wished he had the courage to tell her exactly what he thought and felt but that kind of courage was beyond him. So he did what he did best. He threw himself into work, the only place that he could go where the fear of running into her was zero. Ecklie had insisted she take more time off too insure that she made an adequate recovery from the attack.

The next two weeks were two of the best in her life. She all but lived at Keisha's and was slowly learning what it was like to be a part of a large family, all the noises, arguments and compromises. In two weeks she had been thrown into the role of aunty and she loved it. She liked the long discussions with Elizabeth, the science nerd of the family, playing dolls with Ester and Quinlee and explaining to the boys how the chemistry sets worked. Now that Scott Whithers was no longer a threat to either of them, it was now safe for Keisha and Sara to make a point of seeing each other. Mostly Sara lived at Keisha's finding it easier then switching back and forth between houses. It was on one of those last days before Sara had to go back to work that she found Keisha sitting and crying on her bed.

"What's wrong?"

"Me, Michel and the entire situation."

"Situation?"

"Rape. You know, Michel and I have not had sex since all this happened. He can't touch me. He won't touch me."

"He's scared of hurting you that's all. See it from his point of view."

Keisha shook her head, the tears coming harder and faster.

"Call me selfish but the only point of view I have at the moment is my own."

"That's not selfish, that human. But you need to remember that this affects more then just you Keisha. He loves you and you were hurt and he could do nothing to protect you."

Keisha shook her head again, wiping her nose with her sleeve. Sara handed her a box of tissues and they sat in silence for a little while, offering what small comfort she could. She had no words to offer, there was nothing she could say, in her own way she was grateful, this was one topic she did not want to know anything about. After a little while and a whole box of tissues, Keisha had calmed down and turned to Sara, her face pulled into a frown.

"How are things with you and Grissom?"

"Normal."

"Define normal."

Sara shrugged and pulled her legs up under her chin.

"Avoidance, confusion. Nothing that I am unfamiliar with, sadly enough"

Keisha gave her a crooked smile and nudged her with her elbow.

"What did you say to him?"

"That he needs to make sure that if I make him happy, that it had better be for the right reasons."

"And what did he say?"

"Nothing. He's been avoiding me ever since."

"So talk to him Sara. You can't go on like this forever."

Sara laughed and shook her head.

"It's been going on like this for years Keisha. This is our little dance and the tango has been going on for so long, I have no idea what I would do with my free time if it ended."

"You could finally go out on a date with the guy that has been haunting you for the last decade."

"I can't do this anymore Keisha. I'm sick of waiting for him to see me. I actually had fun for the time that I was at his house and I saw him in a way I had never seen him before. He was a big goof. Did I tell you that he took me on a bike ride?"

"Yes. You talked about it all week."

"Sorry. I'll shut up now."

Keisha turned to Sara, her hands coming to rest on her arms.

"I have learnt many things in the last few weeks that we've known each other and one of them is that I have to listen to you talk, even if to me it seems obvious what the solution is. So talk that is what I am here for."

"No, that is what I am here for. We'll sort out your issue first, than we'll talk out mine."

"And how exactly are you going to help me?"

"First, I'm going to give a good friend of mine a call. She's a therapist and she's lovely. Then I am going to set you up with some support groups for the entire family."

"The entire family?"

"The kids need help understanding it too."

'And then what?"

"You need to talk to Michel. Tell him exactly what is going on in that head of yours. He needs to know."

"I tired to tell him but he doesn't get it"

"You need to keep trying. This will never work if you don't tell him."

"Pot-kettle-black."

Sara smiled at her.

"Shut up."

"I know what we can do. I can leave the kids with a babysitter for a few hours and we can go out to dinner, just the four of us. It can be a sort of date for you and Grissom and then if things don't work out, we'll be there. What do you think?"

"Sounds like fun. Not. You have to promise me that when I am gone tomorrow that you will talk to Michel properly."

"Yes. I'll talk to him as soon as you walk out the door. I'll make him a nice dinner and take it from there."

"Good. So when are you inviting Grissom?"

"Not me, you. You are inviting him."

"But that means going to the office and actually talking to him."

"Sara Sidle, you're not as dumb as you look."

Sara gave Keisha a wide smile.

"How about I make us some lunch? Quinlee will be up from her nap soon and she's going to be as hungry as I am"

Keisha nodded, giving her nose one last blow before slipping off the bed and offering her hand to Sara, pulling her off the bed. Sara had indeed learnt many things since finding her sister, but mostly she had learnt just how lonely her life had been before all this, before Keisha had found her. Since she had finally got the family that she had been wanting since she had been a kid. How they had found each other was hardly ideal but now it was. Sara had a sister, nieces and nephews and she had never been happier. She had two out of three, but she still found herself missing something. And that something was Grissom.

She found him in the first place she looked; his office. He had his head down, pen scribbling furiously pages, one hand resting on his forehead. She knocked on the open door and waited for him to respond. When he did, it was with a distracted voice and he never looked up.

"Enter."

"Hey Grissom."

He finally looked up, his face frozen. He pulled off a fantastic impression of a goldfish before he finally found his voice.

"Sara, hello."

"Hi. Can I talk to you for a few minutes?"

"Please have a seat."

Sara did as she was told, taking the seat across from him, crossing her legs and trying to remember to breath. In and out, repeat as required.

"So how can I help you?"

Grissom was as nervous as she was, he could not sit still, he kept crossing and uncrossing his legs, shifting in his seat, trying to find a place of comfort and power.

"Keisha wanted to know if you wanted to come to dinner with us next weekend."

"Us being?"

"Michel, Keisha and myself. So do you want to come?"

"Before I answer, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Are you avoiding me?"

Sara cocked her head to the side, her eyebrow cocked.

"Let me answer that in another question; are you avoiding me?"

Grissom sighed, running his hands through his hair, allowing them to rest on his chin, wishing for a moment he had his beard to keep his hands busy.

"Honestly?"

"Please."

"Yes. You?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

Sara shrugged nonchalantly, even though the answer was anything but.

"Because I didn't want you to pressure into anything. You needed to come to a conclusion on your own without me breathing over your shoulder."

"Which was why you left the house the moment your apartment was cleared?"

"Exactly. Your turn, why are you avoiding me?"

"Because I didn't want to see you after I hurt you so much. I never realized I did that Sara."

"I know you didn't, you're not that kind of person. I just thought that it was high time you knew exactly how badly you treated me."

Grissom paused to breath, relieved that there was no anger hanging in the air. He thought that this would be harder.

"Which begs the next question; is this a date?"

Sara's comment caught him off balance and he all but fell off his chair. A date would many things, most of which he was unwilling to explore. He opened his mouth to speak but Sara caught the expression on his face. She didn't saw anything, just stood to leave. He followed her to the door, blocking it with his body.

"Sara, you can't storm off like a child before I explain."

"Grissom, you don't need to explain, your face did that for you."

"Please Sara, sit back down."

Sara stared at him hard before turning on her heel and sitting back down, crossing her legs and tapping her foot against the air impatiently.

"Explain. I don't have all day; I have to baby-sit Quinlee soon."

Grissom took his place across from her, his hands coming together in front of her.

"Sara, there are many things to consider-"

"Skip the political shit Grissom; it's not your style. I want you to talk to me."

"Fine. I'm scared of the consequences that could come from this"

"Like what? Work? Don't use that as an excuse."

"I mean me personally. Letting someone into my life…..I don't know if I have the courage"

"You let Catherine in. She's closer to you then I am and you said yourself that I make you happy."

Grissom's voice dropped to almost a whisper and Sara had to lean forward to hear his next statement.

"It's hard to let the people you truly care about in."

"So you thought about what I said then? Do you know the answer?"

"Yes. You make me happy because you're Sara, not because you stroke my ego."

"Really?"

"Really. And that is the truth."

"Then why can't you tell me?"

"Because I don't like being that vulnerable."

Sara leaned forward a little more, her hands coming to rest on his.

"The dinner is next Saturday at The Crazy Wok. Meet us there at eight."

"Can I pick you up?"

"How about you just meet us there? No pressure, no expectations. We'll keep it simple, ok?"

"Ok. So will I see you before then?"

"You can come around to Keisha's tonight; they won't be back until tomorrow."

"Really? How come?"

"I set them up with a nice dinner and a hotel room and the older kids are staying at friends."

"So we have the place to ourselves?"

"Yup. A bit of a flashback to high school huh?"

Sara gave him a cheeky grin, the one that he had missed terribly in the last couple of weeks.

"Do you want me to bring anything?"

"Nope, just you. I'll make dinner."

Grissom nodded and leaned forward, laying a quick kiss on her cheek. He could have kissed her properly, he realized that but she wanted to keep things simple and he did too, he didn't want the added pressure of expectations that he may never be able to reach. When he pulled back, Sara's smile was wider, her eyes twinkling.

"I'll see you tonight, ok?"

"Ok. Have a good day with Quinlee."

"With that little cutie, every day is a mini adventure. I get more exercise chasing her then I do jogging."

"Well, she's at her prime. Once they start, they never stop."

Sara gave him another smile as she untangled her hands from his and headed for the door.

"Give me a call before you come around ok? I'll have dinner ready for you."

He watched her leave, continued watching even when his door was closed and he could no longer see her. He could see her in his minds eye moving down the corridor and out of the lab. He could see the sway of her hips, the way her arms moved as she walked and the angle at which she held her head. He liked everything that made her Sara; he enjoyed watching her work and the way she worked. It was just bad timing that he realized everything that he loved was her and he almost missed it; she had almost walked out without him seeing her for what she truly was, an amazing, sexy, intelligent person. She was what he wanted, what he needed and for the first time, what he deserved.

He called at eight and he was there by quarter past, dressed in fresh clothes, the smell of the lab gone from his freshly showered skin. He felt nervous. He didn't know what tonight would bring, or what it meant for them in terms of their relationship. But they were their, taking the first step towards something and that was all that mattered. He knocked on the door and Sara answered, dressed in sweats and an old t-shirt, Quinlee on her hip.

"Hey, come on in."

He followed her into the house and into the kitchen where a pot was bubbling happily and a frying pan was sizzling. The entire house smelt like garlic and Sara happily moved around, Quinlee tugging on her ponytail and chatting nonsense. Grissom stood behind her, placing a hand lightly on her back, following her movements. He stayed for a few minutes doing that, just touching her with his hand, filling the air with the all too familiar sexual tension that had become part of their normal routine. He took his hand off her back to extract Quinlee from Sara's arms, balancing the little girl on his own hip.

"You cook; I'll keep the little one busy."

Sara gave him a wide smile as she continued to man the oven. Grissom popped Quinlee into her high chair and proceeded in a game of peek-a-boo. She squealed and slapped her thighs, chatting in her own little language, making sense every once and awhile.

"I hope your hungry; I made enough to feed an army."

She handed him a bowl of short noodles with plenty of sauce for Quinlee and a large plate of noodles and sauce with two thick pieces of garlic bread.

"This looks fantastic"

"Good. Eat up."

Sara sat across from him and began to eat, watching him feed Quinlee. He was gentle and patient, despite the fact that she still got more on face and chest then in her mouth. Grissom acted as if he did this every day, which he didn't of course. They ate in silence and when they were finished, Sara stood to collect the dishes, and Grissom picked Quinlee out from the high chair and gave her a wide smile.

"Bath time for this little one?"

"Afraid so. She looks like she crawled through a crime scene"

They gave Quinlee her bath and then Grissom read her a book, leaving the room only when she was fast asleep. He moved back into the living room where Sara was trying to figure out what DVD to watch.

"So uncle Grissom, what do you feel like watching? Horror, comedy or romance?"

"Your choice"

Sara shrugged and popped a DVD into the DVD player and settled herself on the sofa. Grissom paused, stuck for a moment between intimacy and friendship. He took his chance and sat beside her, his arm slung along the back of the sofa. The movie started but Grissom had no idea what it was about, he was more aware of how close Sara was sitting next to him. He had no idea when it happened, but she began leaning on him, her head tucked under his chin, her face pressed into his chest. It took just a moment for him to relax into the embrace and he settled his own cheek on the top of her head, his arm around her lower waist. By the time the movie was over, Sara was fast asleep, the novelty of caring for a toddler wearing her completely out. He eased his way out from beneath her and laid her out on the sofa, placing a rug over her. He moved into the kitchen and began to clean up the mess that dinner had created. He was half way through the clean up when he felt her arms around his waist. He turned and pulled her into a proper hug, this time it was one he started and one he expected and it felt right.

"You smell like an Italian restaurant."

Sara laughed against his chest.

"Nice to know. You smell like Talcum powder."

"That's exactly what happens when you baby-sit."

Grissom waited until her head was tilted towards hers before he leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers. She tasted like heaven, a little slice of something good in such a lonely place and Grissom found it reassuring that he had found it. She pressed harder into him, an invitation that he was unwilling to turn down. He began to stroke the skin on her face and the exposed flesh of her hips and back as her arms moved up around his neck. He moaned as his hands skimmed the heated flesh. He tugged at her shirt until she raised her arms, breaking the kiss only to remove the annoying fabric from her body. She did the same to him, stripping off his button down shirt and allowing it to drop to the floor. Sara pulled back, breathless, her face flushed.

"We can't do this in the kitchen."

Grissom began to kiss her again, pushing her back into the living room, crashing into every wall along the way. He couldn't not kiss her, she was like a drug and for the life of him, he could not stop, he was too far gone. He pushed her into the sofa and began tugging at her pants, kissing the exposed pieces of flesh before pulling her panties down to join the pile of clothes on the floor. She smiled at him as she undid his belt buckle, slowly undoing his pants. Grissom pushed her hands away and undid his pants and pulled them off impatiently. He continued to kiss her as he explored her naked body, making her moan and twist beneath his curious hands. He paused long enough to put on a condom before pushing himself into her. The air was suddenly gone from the room and he could feel nothing except her. She urged him on with her hips and hands. It was over too quickly and Grissom lay on top of her, kissing her until his heart returned to normal.

"I'm sorry. I've just waited so long….."

"Gil, that was fantastic. If you ever say you regret this, I will remove your reason for being a man."

Grissom smiled down at her, kissing her again, tasting the sweat and smelling the sex that hung in the air.

"If I say that I regret it, I'll remove my own reason for being a man."

They stayed as they were, naked on the sofa, curled around each other. Neither had the energy, or felt the need to move.