"I know I'm not this perfect person that people feel they can go to when they need things," Taylor commented. "I'm not Melissa and most of the time I don't care what's going on. I don't care...I'm not Daley, I don't need to control everything to be involved. I only need to be involved with myself." Taylor paused but the psychiatrist didn't push her, she gave her time. "I know how selfish or whatever that sounds but...I don't know, I can't make myself different. I can't make myself change. I'm sorry."
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"Haven't you already asked me that question?" Beaver asked, pulling his jacket tighter around him. "I don't know why I like Taylor. I already told you what I think about her."
"What do you know about her, though, Beaver?" Dr. Brennon pressed.
Beaver shrugged. "You don't really sit down and have a chat during a hostage situation."
"You don't need to talk to know someone, Beaver," Dr. Brennon said. "You've stated that quite clearly with Jackson."
"But that's not the same," Beaver insisted. "I don't need to know Jackson. Nobody does. He's just this...I don't even know. Taylor's different. You can't commit to what you don't know."
"Are you committed to Taylor?" Dr. Brennan asked.
Beaver hesitated. "I don't know," he admitted. "I want to be. I want to be there for her, I want it a lot. But I don't know if she wants people waiting there. Some people just want to be able to walk away and have nobody follow them. What if Taylor's one of those people?"
"Do you think she needs her space?" Dr. Brennan asked. "Do you really think she wants to be alone?"
Beaver shrugged. "I don't know," he admitted. "She seems like the kind that want to have everyone there, waiting for her to fall just so they can have the chance to catch her but...I don't know if that's really who she is. Because people like that...they don't end up catching you when you fall because they're too concerned with themselves." Beaver paused. "And she's already caught me, Doc."
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"I don't know," Jackson said. "I know how she seems, you must know her type. Everyone does. That's the problem. When people get these stupid ideas of how other people should be they...I guess they start catagorising people by themselves. I hate it but I guess that's what I did...to all of them. I made Taylor, and Nathan and Daley, i made them into these people they weren't. I mean, they might've been these people before the crash but after...after the crash, everybody was different. I think Taylor took it the hardest; I think she changed because she wasn't able to survive, not how she was, not how she thought and regarded everything. Taylor's strong, stronger than anybody I've ever met -- because I met her when she was weak."
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"She was probably my best friend on that island," Eric admitted. "It wasn't because there was something between us - there wasn't. We just...god I don't even know what happened between us. We bonded. She was the one that I was forced to relate to."
"What do you mean by 'force'?" Dr. Brennan pressed.
"Do you want me to look up force in a dictionary or something?" Eric asked. Dr. Brennan didn't comment but Eric was overwhelmed with the urge to explain himself. What was that about? "I know people think they have this godly ability - they can change just whatever they want about themselves, but it's not like that. I guess I didn't mean to get to how I am, and I don't even know how that happened, but I can't change it now. You know people bond with other people like themsleves, that's humanity. Taylor was like me."
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"She was terrible, in the beginning," Daley said. "Everything was terrible in the beginning. I guess we just got tired of arguing, tired of having some tedious problem every day. We change. I don't know when it happened, but I guess, it was carried from day to day by stupid little things we did for each other. They wouldn't even mean anything here, not now, not then. But the fact that we sacrificed ourselves everyday just to please somebody else who was a complete stranger a few months ago...I guess that meant something."
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"Taylor was a burden," Nathan said. "She changed though. I mean, she was still very burden-ie, but no longer a burden. I guess it was that chilloween thing that was the starting point of her change."
"Chilloween?" Dr. Brennan asked, glancing up from her notes to look at Nathan.
"We were stuck in this sort of rut," Nathan replied. "Taylor made up her own holiday. Chilloween. In the beginning it seemed like an excuse for her to do nothing, like usual, but it went well. We learned a lot about each other. She was different. Or maybe she wasn't. I don't know. Maybe she just showed everyone a side of her that's always been there, right underneath the surface. Maybe she hasn't changed at all, maybe she's just...shifted layers, I guess."
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"I don't really get involved with these things that happen between them," Lex said. "Who I know these people as are different than who they know each other as. Taylor didn't like to exert energy, she didn't like working. It's because she's had so little work in life, but everybody still gave her a hard time. I accommodated her a little bit, little things. I didn't mind her as much. She was nice to me most of the time. It was a different relationship."
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"We had a bad start," Melissa said quietly. "We weren't really friends at school. We didn't really talk. She was popular...and I kind of wasn't. But being forced together forced us to talk. She'd get angry over stupid things, things that seemed like they should matter but when you're fighting for every minute of you life...I don't know, you just learn that very few things matter. We were losing touch of life, of everything that any of us cared about because we were forced to live away from it all. Taylor was this persistent reminder of everything we had left behind. She refused to change, she refused to acknowledge the danger we were in. Maybe she saved us, maybe we would've been too far gone to ever readapt to our lives if she hadn't been there. I don't know, but it didn't seem like she matter that much at the time."
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"I used to hate her," Nathan said. "Daley. We had this adversary going on, even before the crash. She was supposed to be my enemy. I was supposed to hate her more than anyone. I don't know what happened. I don't know why I stopped hating her."
"Maybe you don't know why you started hating her," the doctor prompted.
Nathan shrugged. "It seemed so natural I never thought of questioning it; not until I realized I didn't hate her. I liked her. A lot."
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"She was a bitch," Taylor said. "She was bitch even before the trip. I knew she was going to be a bitch but...I didn't know it'd be so bad. She was always complaining, there was always something that wasn't going right. And it was always her job to right everything. She's a bitch."
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"I don't know what I thought of her," Melissa said. "I try not to make judgements, because they're hard to change. I don't want to force people into these ideas that I have of them. She liked to be in control. She liked to be the leader. But everyone needs a leader.
"If she was a good leader, why did the group pick Jackson?" Dr. Brennan asked.
Melissa hesitated for a moment. "I can't speak for everyone else. I was just as shocked as he was. Everyone was supposed to hate him...because people hate what they don't know, right? I chose him because he seemed the strongest out of all of us. We were this group of rich kids, spoiled, naive. Jackson came from the streets, or those were the rumors. He was strong. We needed a strong leader, a realistic, down to Earth leader. He didn't care enough to be unfair. He kind of hated us all equally, in a way. Daley was bias, and so was Nathan. They both thought their own ways were right, but Jackson didn't have a way. He gave everyone an equal chance. Daley wouldn't have been able to do that."
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"I was okay with her being the leader," Jackson said. "I know everyone is supposed to want to be the leader. If you have the power then nobody can blind side you, you'll always get your way. But maybe sometimes you need to be denied something, anything. They think they need someone that's strong yet not dominating. They're wrong. They need someone that wants to be their leader. I never wanted to be the leader. Daley seemed the right choice. She knew how to lead."
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"She's my sister," Lex said. "I don't know how valuable my analysis of her will be."
Dr. Brennan nodded. "It will probably be the most valuable. You are unguarded of her, Lex. You see her at the worst. You know her the best."
Lex shrugged. "I guess so. She's a little controlling but you have to understand, she means well. She always means well. She's my best friend. You would think she'd be angry, being in the same grade as her little brother but she handles it the best, always looking out for me, even though we're not even blood. She's my best friend."
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That is it, my little ducklings. I hope you enjoyed this bit, the next part is the last part of the analysis miniseries. But don't worry, I'm complete with the chapter after the last analysis chapter. So after I write the next chapter - you'll get a surprise of two chapters. Sorry if that confused you guys. But yes...enjoy! And always remember, if anyone has a question or a bother, send me a pm, I'd be glad to answer any questions.