Don't worry there will be Rogan interaction in the next chapter! This one is to explain the past a little bit more!

Enjoy!

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Ally runs to me and hugs my legs. I pick her up and put her into my lap. She hugs me and gives me a kiss on the cheek. I glance at Logan but he refuses to look at me.

I regret that I asked him this question, after all it's none of my business and I'm sure as hell the last person with whom he wants to talk about his non-existent love life.

I concentrate again on Ally because she started to play with my hair.

"So sweetie, how was school today?"

"It was really cool, mum."

"That's good. You're ready to go home?" I ask, because I don't want to be any second longer in this room.

"I'll get her things." Logan says without looking at me and leaves the room.

He comes back downstairs and hands Ally her bag and helps her into her coat. We go to the front door and Logan kneels down in front of Ally. "Bye, little princess. We see us tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay daddy." She says and hugs him.

"Goodbye Rory." Logan says coldly to me without looking me into the eyes and opens the door for me and Ally. We leave and still he refuses to look at me.

Ally looks confused at our behaviour. After Logan closes the door and we sit in the car she asks: "Mummy, why are you and daddy so upset?"

Even if she is just three and a half year old she recognizes it always when Logan and I aren't able to talk to one and another even less then usual. It always amazes me how sensitive Ally is for Logan and my relationship.

"We aren't upset, Ally. We are just a little bit tired." I answer her. I know that it is a lie but I can't tell her the truth. I don't want her to think that we have problems because she is just too young to understand them.

" What do you mean with tired?" she asks.

I think about it for a moment to give her an answer that satisfies her.

"Well you know when you are really sleepy and want to go to bed?" I ask.

"Yeah…" she says slowly and I can see through the mirror her expression she has on her face and she tries to imagine this feeling. I focus my eyes back on the street and say:

" Well, then you get really grumpy sometimes because you're tired and want to sleep and that's what daddy and I feel at the moment." I say and hope that she understands me right.

"So you're are grumpy at one upon another?" she asks.

"No Ally, not at one upon another. We are just tired and want to go to bed. That's why we are both in a grumpy mood. Do you understand what I mean?"

I know that this is a strange comparison, but actually this is how I feel. I'm tired of awkwardness and of not talking together and I'm tired of not knowing what to feel. I just want to turn back time. But I can't change the way I acted back then:

Flashback

"Oh come on Logan, you can't tell me that there wasn't anything between you two." I yell and wave around with a newspaper in front of his face.

"I recognized that Bobby wants you the first time I saw her and you proved before that you don't have any hindrance to cheat on me."

"Rory, you have to believe me that there wasn't anything between us. She just gives me a hug on this picture and since when do you believe what some gutter press is writing?" he asks.

I know that the press often writes strange things and that they are most of the time not true but I don't want to see this at this moment. I want to blame him and I want to know that there is a reason why I'm scared of loosing him.

"I can't believe you. Why would I?" I say.

"Don't you trust me? Rory, we live together since 4 years. You're the only one in my life and I'm so not interested in Bobby! You have to believe me. I just love you!"

"I don't know what to think. You're always working and all the time Bobby is around. I think I'm just not enough for you anymore. How can this relationship work when I'm not enough for you?"

"Rory, I love you and you are everything I ever wanted. Please believe me I don't want anything or anyone else." Logan pleads and I can see tears forming in his eyes.

"I can't believe you." I say.

"I'm sorry Logan, but I can't do this any longer." I say and leave.

Flashback ends

That was the day I left Logan without a real reason. I was just scared of the future and so I did what I always did and run away. I regret my decision, I regretted it the minute I closed the door behind me, but I couldn't go back. I know that Logan never had anything going on with Bobby but I just searched for a reason to blame him. So I didn't have to admit that I was scared, that I was the one who wasn't sure of her feelings and of what I wanted. I was scared and now I have to live with the guilt of destroying two lives by just closing the door behind me without a specific reason. Now I have to live with the guilt of my mistake!

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