Disclaimer: I, sadly, do not own anything to do with Twilight and New Moon, aside from the books. But, when I take over the world, I will own it all. And a PS2. I will own that too. Just watch.

Also, I changed the beginning of the first chapter around a bit since this isn't a one shot any more. It looks more like this chapter. I caved to peer pressure, FYI. I was going to up-date next Thursday, but I got so many wonderful reviews, I'm up-dating now. The next chapter WILL be posted next Saturday.

Sneeze Emmett and Embry

by Vampire Apple

"I'm tickled to death."

-Susan Hayward

It was a nice normal sunny summer day at the Cullen household, so every one was busy and happy. Carlisle had the day off so he and Esme where out working in her garden. Jasper and Alice where cuddling in the hammock in the yard. Rosalie was working on the family's cars while Edward was in the kitchen trying to make Paraguayan dish called Polenta de Choclo for Bella. A curse could be heard coming from the kitchen every two and a half minutes on the dot.

Bella and Emmett where in the lving room playing on his new PS3.

"Emmett?"

"Yah Bella?"

"Are vampires ticklish?"

"What?" Emmett was so surprised by the question he looked over at Bella. As he stared at her with his month slightly open as his player was cut in half. Turning back to the screen he yelled "No!"

"Oh. You're not?" Bella looked disappionted and pouty as she attacked another vertual bad guy.

"No, not that." Emmett hit the pause button and looked at Bella. "Why do you want to know?"

"Well, I asked Edward if vampires could sneeze and he said no. Then I asked Jake if-"

"The mongrel?"

"Yes, I asked if werewolves could sneeze and he said no. Then I asked Edward if vampires where ticklish and he just kissed he and told me to watch the movie."

"So now you're asking me."

"Precisely."

"Ticklish?"

"Yup."

"Why do you want to know?"

"You'll see."

"Well, I don't think I was ever very ticklish as a human so when I turned vampire I doubt that change. I don't ever remember… No, wait. There was this one time Alice tried to tickle Jasper. I remember him saying that he was very ticklish as a human. She had read a romance novel and she said there was a scene in there where the two lovers… um… showed affection for each other by tickling each other. Does that help?"

"So you guys aren't ticklish?"

"I'm guessing not."

"Well, that's okay."

Emmett watched as Bella got out of the beanbag chair she was sitting in and went over to the coffee table where a cordless phone rested. Picking it up she turned it on and dialed a number.

"Who are you calling?"

"Embry Call."

"Who's that?"

"A werewolf."

"Does Edward know you're talking with them?"

Bella didn't replay because a voice called over the speaker;

"Hello?"

"Hi, is this Embry?"

"Yes. Who is this?"

"Bella Swan. I have a question to ask you."

"Bella Swan? How did you get my cell number? What question? Did Jake give you my number?"

"Yes, I have my ways, are werewolves ticklish and no. Respectively."

"What?"

"Are werewolves ticklish?"

"Why would you need to know that?"

"I told you, I have my reasons."

"Well, guys don't really tickle each other. That's more of a girl thing, ya know?"

"Please, just answer the question"

"Geez, are you bossy. Yes, I guess werewolves are ticklish. Why-"

"Alright. Thank you. Bye."

Bella hung up the phone and grinned at Emmett.

"Emmett?"

"Yes Bella?"

"Can vampires cough?"