Disclaimer: I, sadly, do not own anything to do with Twilight and New Moon, aside from the books. But, when I take over the world, I will own it all. And David. I will own him and all his songs and movies too. Just watch.
I got the hiccup information about hiccups from my mom, who majored in biology in collage. If I miss quoted any information that is my fault because I only go a B in my high school bio class.
Also, the next chapter will be the last. And yes, ya'll will finally find out the answer why. Bella will reveal all.
Sneeze Carlisle and Samby Vampire Apple
"In contrast, if he gets a shock from the device -- and this device can deliver the shock much like you see on 'ER' or something with paddles on the chest, the device does it from inside the heart -- then that is something that he will feel, and patients describe it anywhere from a giant hiccup to a mule kick in the chest,"
-Douglas Zipes
It was a quiet, dreary summer day at Forks Hospital. Bella had walked in and went directly to the nurse at the counter. She asked if Doctor Cullen was busy. When the reply was negative she asked the see him. When asked why she said she a sudden had urge to eat pickles. She explained this was not a good thing since she was deathly allergic to pickles. The nurse gave her an odd look and told her to sit down and Doctor Cullen would be with her in a few moments.
Bella felt a bit guilty because she neither want to eat pickles (she hated them) nor was she allergic to them. That guilty lessened when Carlisle appeared and took her to his office and disappeared when she stepped inside and heard a David Bowie song playing (although is awesome David Bowie he was nothing like Edward, or so Bella thought).
"Hello Bella. I'm guessing this visit has nothing to do with pickles."
Bella sat down in a plush chair and grinned at Carlisle.
"You'd guess right. This has nothing to do with my health, or the health of any human actually. I have a vampire question."
"Does Edward know you're here?"
"No. But you see, he wouldn't answear my question. Emmett and Jasper wouldn't either."
"I see. Now, why wouldn't they anwear a simple question."
"Well, it kinda has a story behind it. I had asked Edward if vampires could sneeze and he said no. Then I called Jake and asked him if werewolves could sneeze and he said no. Then I asked Edward if vampires where ticklish and he didn't answear. A few days later I asked Emmett if vampires were ticklish and he said no. Then I called Embry-"
"Who?"
"Another werewolf. I asked him if werewolves where ticklish and he said yes.
Then I asked Emmett if vampires could cough and he told me to keep playing the PS3 game. Then when Jasper and I went to the library last Thursday and I asked him if vampires could cough and he sadi no. then I asked Quill-"
"Another werewolf?"
"Yah. He said werewolves can cough. Then I asked Jasper if vampires could hiccup and he didn't answer, he just kept reading."
"That doesn't sound like Jasper at all. Hm… Well, I'm asumeing that you will ask me if vampires can hiccup?"
"You asume right."
"No, vampires cannot hiccup. A hiccup happens when there is too much carbondioxide in the body to the diaphram exspells it, which is what a hiccup is. Since vampire don't need to breathe we don't turn oxagin into carbondioxide so we can't have too much in our diaphrame to hiccup out."
"Ah."
"I bet the others didn't explain it in such a tenchinal way, did they?"
"No, not really. May I please use your phone?"
"Of course. Who are you going to call?"
"Sam Uley. He's the leader."
Bella sent a smile to Carlisle then went to his wall phone. She dialed a number and waited three rings before someone picked up.
"Hello?"
"Hi. Is this Emily? I'm Bella Swan."
"Oh, the Vampire Girl. Why are you calling? Are you in trouble? Where are you?"
"I have a question, no, Forks Hospital."
"Is someone else hurt?"
"No, I just needed to ask a medical question. Is Sam there?"
"Yes, please hold on a moment."
Carlisle sent Bella a bemused look while she was on hold.
"Hello, Bella?"
"Hi Sam. I just have a quick question. Can werewolves hiccup?"
"Hiccup? You want to know if werewolves can hiccup? How did you get this number? Did Jake give it to you? This is an unlisted number. Is this some kind of joke?"
"Yes, yes, I have my sources, no, I know, no."
"Well, if this isn't a prank, it's an odd question. No, werewolves can't hiccup. Now-"
"Thanks. Give my regards to Emily. Bye."
Bella hung up the phone and turned to a grinning Carlisle.
"I'm guessing all the werewolves had similar reactions to your randomly calling them and asking questions like that."
"Yes they did."
"I'm also guessing he doesn't know you're calling said werewolves?"
"Only when I called Jake."
"May I ask why you are asking these questions?"
"Yes."
"Why are you asking these questions?"
"That's for me to know and you the rest of you to ponder until next Saturday. I'll be coming over and setting up a slide show for you all."
"A slide show?"
"Yes. I'd have it sooner but I need to organize my data."
"Alright. I'll see you soon Bella."
"Bye Carlisle."