A/N: Ch-ch-ch-apteer f-f-five!
xxxxxx
When You Lose Your Way
Pretend Everything Is
xxxxxx
"What are you doing? What's wrong?"
"Pansy... why, Pansy, why?"
"What are you talking about? Are you okay?"
"How could you do this to me? Leave me alone for that bastard Nott?"
"Stop it, you're drunk!"
I could picture a series of violent movements but everything was so blurry. What was happening here?
"STOP!"
"Pansy... I love you, I love you - take me back, Pansy..."
"STOP IT!"
"No, please, Pansy!"
"GO AWAY, LEAVE ME ALO - "
"You're being rather difficult..."
"LEAVE ME ALONE."
I awoke with a jolt. What was going on? That same dream, again? This was becoming more and more ridiculous. I thought they were done, and that the end of my dream was seeing Granger at the door. But really, how could that possibly just be the end?
Beads of sweat were running down the side of my head and I wiped them away quickly. I turned on my lamp and looked around my room. Everything seemed normal, everything seemed fine. But something terrible was bothering me, and I had no idea what it could possibly be.
The last words I said in that dream were eerily familiar. It sent unwanted shivers down my spine, arms and legs. I was shaking. It was as if the dreams were trying to tell me something very important... something I couldn't miss... I shook the thought away.
Granger said to me that night when we were having a late night snack, that her standing in front of the door was the dream telling me to stay away from her, oddly enough. That the reason I was so stressed was because of her and it wasn't good for me. When I heard it, it sounded more like a lame lie then a reasonable excuse.
My watch said it was 5:46 in the morning. Rather early. I turned my lamp off and delved myself deep inside my blanket, as if to prevent the dreams from coming back. Soon, I was drifting back to sleep.
And the ugly nightmare visited me once more.
xxxxxx
"You look really tired, mate."
"Yeah, I know Blaise... lots of stuff have been bothering me, that's all."
"What's up, then?" he asked me, trying for a little bit of consoling. I ignored it.
Granger had been on my mind a lot as much as the dreams were lately. I was very worried about her. She'd been hiding her pregnancy for a week now, and soon she would start showing. I would see her during break and class laughing it off with her friends and acting normally, but when she was alone, or thought she was alone at least, she was crying her poor little eyes out. The secret was becoming a terrible burden to her, and I could see it.
"So," Blaise said, trying for a change of topic, "hear about that new doctoring class? It's like a bonus for the N.E.W.T. kids that want to take on the medical field, I heard."
"Yeah," I said, my interest peeking just a little. Very little. "Not many people are taking it. So far I only know that Granger's taking it."
"A handful of Ravenclaws are. It's a pretty small bonus class."
"Wish I could take it, just for the experience."
"Me too. But only because the assistant medi-nurse wears that skimpy uniform that I always go to Mungo's for." He smirked, trying to make me laugh.
"Yeah, I bet it's pretty drafty, huh?"
That got Blaise going. Mission accomplished.
xxxxxx
"Today," said a leering voice, "we will be focusing on Transmogrification of the Human Body. What is the defintion of Transmogrification, anyone?"
Usually the first hand that would go up is Grangers. But she's not here today, and Professor Snape has no one to ignore now. I knew the definition, of course, but my mind was too far from the subject to comprehend what he'd been saying. Someone from the room answered his question.
Granger was at the once in a life-time bonus class Blaise and I had talked about. All students taking the one time class offer were given permission to miss their usual block to attend it. Lucky people. I'm sure I would have been learning something much, much more important in there, rather than in here, where it was cold and ugly.
I looked outside the door, and saw a lady in a St. Mungo's uniform wandering about, looking lost. I craned my head to get a better look at her, or rather her legs, but Snape, bloody bastard, blocked my view. He took a peek outside the door, and questioned her.
"May I help you?" he asked, not much in a helpful manner.
She smiled, relieved. "I'm sorry. You just have such a big school here. I'm lost, and as you can see," she held out her arms, which were holding a box of assorted potions, "I'm in need of some help." It looked rather heavy, to be honest.
"I suppose you're on your way to the bonus class?" Snape asked.
"Yes, yes, I am. Could someone please point the way, and maybe help me carry this box?" It lowered in her arms a little, and she gasped while trying to keep it up. Idiot girl, just use magic!
"Malfoy - up," he ordered. I stood up very willingly.
"Take this young lady to the fourth floor in room A57. And levitate her box, on your way, will you?"
The lady blushed, realizing Snape was somewhat reprimanding her for not using her wand to help her with the heavy box. I walked quickly over to her and cast my levitating charm on the box as I did so. She looked at me, relieved, and I left the room, taking the lead in front of her.
"You're school is much too big for me," she said conversationally.
"Yeah, but it gets smaller after seven years." She laughed.
"So you're the assistant medi-nurse, I suppose?" She nodded vigorously.
"Oh, yes. It's my very first assistant job." I smiled at her half-heartedly.
"What are all these potions for?" I asked her, while walking a flight upstairs.
"Professor Sniddly has a surprise for them. She's going to have them transform into someone else in the room, and this is what they'll have to drink in order to do so."
I smiled, very amused. "How exactly does that help in doctoring?"
She nodded, "I thought the same thing too, but changing your appearance by accident is a common thing we see at Mungo's. While they're in another persons form, they're going to have to find an antidote to change themselves back, you know, mixing different things together and stuff like that."
"Well I doubt anyone can get it on their first try," I said.
"Oh no. She's done this many times, and everyone always ends up sprouting wings or an extra eyeball. It's rather amusing."
"What if they make something that could hurt the body that they're in? Like someone uses bark of everlasting tree and is allergic to it?"
"They'll be trading allergy and symptom notes before class starts. There's nothing to worry about, it's very monitored and well thought of."
I smiled, making my last turn for the corridor. "Well, I'm glad. Here we are," I said, making the potions box land in my arms rather than hers. It was a gentlemen thing to do.
"Thanks," she said sincerely. The door off the room was propped open, so she walked in, telling me to follow.
The few people in the room were putting aprons and goggles on, and the girls were tying up their hair. The Professor, who looked like an over-grown squirrel, was telling the class to pay attention. They all looked at her when they were ready, and she smiled.
Around the room, I spotted Granger, sitting beside Hannah Abbott. She saw me in the room, holding the heavy box, and her eyes grew large. I tried to ignore her, but I couldn't. Our eyes locked, and I could tell she was telling me to get lost.
"Alright class. Now that we're all ready, time for me to tell you our surprise project!" I set the potions box aside and went to leave the room, but the Professor stopped me.
She whispered quickly in my ear, "Could I have you hand those out after I'm finished explaining? Susie will be collecting their allergy and symptom notes." I nodded quickly, and she went back talking to the class, beaming. Granger stared at me, obviously wondering why I wasn't leaving, but I looked at the Professor pointedly, trying to tell her to pay attention.
I was listening to her as well. Listening to her put her twist on the project, and watched everyone's eyes in the classroom light up. It seemed like a fun project. No one had ever been able to transform into their classmate. It really wasn't fair that they got all the fun. But Granger didn't look like it was fun at all.
Her eyes were more wide then when I entered the room. They were panicked behind the goggles, and worry was etched on her forehead. Something was bothering her, and I could see it, the way she quickly smiled when Hannah Abbott nudged her in excitement.
"You will be turning into your partners, and this young man will be handing you the transforming potion. You will put your partners nail or hair in it and then drink it. Are we clear on what to do?" The class nodded together, and Professor Sniddly beckoned for me to hand the potions out. I did so quickly.
One by one I handed them out. Each student took it eagerly, and opened it, smelled the contents, putting their partners hair in and then downing it in one gulp. It was hard to laugh at everyone changing because Granger's worried face was stuck in my brain.
I handed one to Hannah Abbott. She pulled a stray hair quickly out of her head, and held it out to Granger, who took it unwillingly.
"Um, give me one second will you, Hannah? I've made a mistake on my allergy and symptoms note."
As she stood up, leaving an impatient Hannah Abbott at the desk, her eyes beckoned me to follow. We went to a quiet corner of the room, where she slapped me on the arm. I looked at her reproachfully.
"Ow! What?" I whispered angrily.
"I'm pregnant that's what!" She exclaimed in a high whisper.
"I realize that Granger, but just to let you know, it's not always about you! Now get back to the project!" I began walking away from her but she pulled me back right in front of her.
"No you stupid oaf! I'm a pregnant student who will have her classmate turn into herself making her pregnant and drink something possibly dangerous for the baby!"
My eyes widened. "Oh."
She stared at me angrily. "What do we do?" she asked, very panicky.
I was going to tell her that this wasn't a 'we' thing but all she had was me. I couldn't turn my back on her, when she was so worried the baby was going to get hurt.
"I... well... I don't know - !"
She groaned and stomped her foot. Hannah Abbott was looking rather impatient.
I felt a tap on my shoulder, and I turned around, looking at the medi-nurse I helped, who I now knew as Susie.
"Thanks for your help. Your Professor is expecting you back, so you should get going." But she wasn't saying it to me. Well, she was, but she was looking at Granger.
"Are... you okay?" she asked Granger.
Granger put on her typical front. "Yes, I'm fine. It's just... I..." she was at a loss for words. No excuse. Even Professor Sniddly began looking at us, wondering why she wasn't starting and why I was still here.
"I - I..." She was looking at me, begging me for help.
"She's sick." I said. She looked at me incredulously.
"Sick?" Susie asked, looking very concerned.
"Yes. And she doesn't want to get her partner sick as well when she turns into her. It's really a very bad cold," insert Granger's fit of coughing here, "and now that she thinks of it, she's doesn't feel well enough to continue."
"Sick, do you say?" Professor Sniddly said, coming up to us. "That's not good. Not good at all." Granger nodded in agreement.
"I'm sorry child, but you'll have to skip."
"It's," cough, "fine!" Cough again. She was really laying it on thick, this girl.
"I'll have your partner go in a group of three. In the mean time, you should check in to the Hospital Wing or lay yourself down in bed."
"Yes, Professor Sniddly. Thank you," Hermione said, adding a groan to the end of her sentence.
I walked with her out the door, making sure she kept on faking till she took a step outside of the door. I walked in my seperate direction, towards the Potions classroom, until she caught up with me. I raised my eyebrow.
"What? Forgot to say thank you or something?" I asked her.
"Actually, yes?" she said uncertainly. I stopped dead in my tracks.
"Wow. Didn't see that one coming."
She looked around her surroundings as if she were nervous and said, "Yeah... thanks."
I shrugged. "No problem."
"I know I said I wouldn't accept help from you anymore but..."
"I would have offered anyways," I said matter of factly, deciding she didn't need an arguement to stress her out. I would have really loved to say, "Yeah, so stop being a hypocrite and stop asking me for help." But still. Granger was a mood-swingy sort of gal.
She sighed sadly. "I missed a once in a lifetime class. And because of this." She looked down on her stomach, and I could see her eyes well up. Uh-oh. This wasn't my area of experties, if you know what I mean.
I patted her... sort of, on the back, and took a step back. So did she, but I was used to her avoiding and flinching at my touch by now.
"This isn't how it's always going to be," I assured her. But even I wasn't sure of that.
"Yes it will," she said, sniffing. I sighed.
"Well, don't worry, okay? You're going to be fine once everybody knows about it and will stop giving you all these things you can't handle."
Her head snapped up, looking at me completely astonished.
"...What? You thought you'd be keeping this a secret forever?"
"No, no, of course not! It's just... I haven't even thought of telling... everyone."
"...Well, you're going to have to. Potter, Weasley... Dumbledore, and your parents. All those important people. Oh, and the father," I added.
She was looking terribly uncomfortable. I shook my head and changed the subject very quickly.
"Don't worry about it though. Those times won't be coming anytime soon, so... you'll have lots of time to prepare yourself for it."
"Yeah. And in the mean time, I'll just pretend." she scoffed bitterly at herself. Her stomach grumbled after doing so, and she rubbed it embarassingly.
Amazingly, I smiled. Everyone was in class, the professors were teaching and Filch was doing his caretaker duties outside. And it wouldn't be my first time skipping potions... and Granger was supposed to be in bed, but who cared about that?
"Do you want to go to kitchens?" she looked up at me, surprised.
"The kitchens...?"
"Yeah. Tickle the pair, have a grand old feast. You in?" I smiled again.
She looked almost excited to do so. I'm sure Granger's never skipped class before. But then her shoulders drooped and she shook her head.
"I... I can't. I should be in the dorm resting. I could use it."
I raised my eyebrow. "No, Granger, you should be in the kitchens eating. You definitely could use it," for I just heard another grumble come from her stomach. Granger looked down on it, as if asking it whether it wanted to. When she looked up again, she was smiling.
"Oh, what the heck? I'm ravenous!"
And soon we were on our way to tickle the pear, and eat our hearts out. The fun I had doing something bad with someone who's never done anything bad was intoxicating. Like teaching a caveman how to light a lighter. It made me forget momentarily about my nasty nightmares, and for Granger, her inconvenient pregnancy.
Long live the kitchens!
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To be continued...
A/N: What's this? Are they being nice to each other? Is Hermione not always declining Draco's sympathetic touches? Is Draco having insanely odd nightmares that could lead to something that will ruin a growing friendship? He may well be! To find out sooner, read and review! Love you guys! x).