Chapter 4: In Which Prongs is a Hero and Lily Makes a Decision

A few days later, Lily was wandering aimlessly through the grounds. She was out here, despite the chill in the wind, because she was desperately trying to avoid running into James. She wouldn't know what to say to him if she saw him, so she hoped to just avoid the whole awkward situation in the first place. She was slowly walking around the lake, lost in thought, when she looked up and realized that walking towards her was Snape, and he had his wand out, twirling it in his hands.

"Well, Mudblood, fancy meeting you here." She gritted her teeth in anger.

"Don't call me that, Snape. And I have every right to be here."

"Oh, yes, I was simply commenting on my great fortune in finding you here, and alone nonetheless. Very rare that I see you without your faithful Potter tagging along."

"Potter has nothing to do with me."

"His misfortune." She stared at him incredulously, What is he talking about? "You see, I have been meaning to speak with you, alone."

"Well," she answered coldly, "we are alone now." Unfortunately!

"Yes, quite." With a casual flick he summoned her wand out of her pocket and threw it lazily behind him. He stepped closer to her, and Lily slowly realized that his eyes were sweeping up and down her figure heatedly. She shivered uncomfortably. "I have a proposition for you, Evans. I have the power to make it so that no one will look down on you for your blood again, to make it so that your pathetic Muggle family will never be harmed, but…" his grin grew almost predatory, "I will be wanting something in return."

"And what would that be?" She wasn't really considering his offer, she simply wanted to know what he wanted out of her.

"Oh, I think you know." He stepped even closer. "For a Mudblood, you really are quite beautiful."

"Get away from me, Snape."

"Oh, I don't think I will. After all, there are just the two of us here, no one to help you." His voice lowered dangerously. "No one to hear you scream."

Lily turned to run away from him, but she had only got a few steps when she found herself in the air, with Snape's wand trained on her. And then he dropped her harshly to the ground. She was trying to blink away the stars in her eyes when she looked up and saw a brilliant white stag standing in between her and Snape. The stag had his teeth barred and was growling at the frightened boy, then it chased Snape away from Lily before slowly and cautiously walking towards her. My Patronus… and his sides are foaming. The poor thing must have run hard to get here in time. It slowly walked closer to her.

"Thank you." Lily whispered quietly. He really is beautiful. And he has the most beautiful hazel eyes. They look a little familiar, where have I seen those eyes before?

As Lily was staring into his eyes, James quietly transformed back into himself. He watched as Lily's face was overshadowed by amazement and confusion.

"Hey, Evans."

"You… but… you saved me… and you're an animagus…" and you're my Patronus. Why are you my Patronus?

"Are you alright?"

"I don't really know if I can walk. He dropped me a little hard."

"I'll carry you." Of course you will. You're always there for me, to do anything I need. Maybe that's why you are my Patronus. But… I still don't understand. I don't even like you…

She nodded mutely, and simply watched him as he slowly stepped forward, handed her her wand, and lifted her easily into his arms, as if she weighed nothing at all. She wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her head against his chest, and she allowed him to carry her back into the castle and to lay her quietly on a couch in their common room. Then he sat on the floor beside her, gently stroking her face.

"Are you going to be okay, Lily?"

"Yeah, I think he just scared me, is all." She briefly closed her eyes. "Thank you, James, for rescuing me."

"What was I supposed to do? Let the greasy git get his hands on you? Not bloody likely."

She was looking into his eyes, those large hazel eyes, and before she realized what was happening he was once more kissing her hungrily and passionately. Throwing all rational thoughts out of her mind, Lily slid off the couch to sit next to him, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer to her. Emboldened by this, James gently ran his tongue along her lips, begging for entrance. Oh, wow! Is he really doing that? Is he really trying to get me to open my mouth? Hmmm, must think about this. I certainly enjoy his kisses, maybe if I were to open my mouth they would be even better. I mean, I've never actually done that before but I hear that it makes kissing so much more amazing. Oh, hell. What is there to lose. And surprisingly, Lily let him. She let him slowly explore her mouth. She let his arms deftly wrap around her small waist, drawing her whole body into his. She let him run his hands slowly up and down her sides, sending tingles of electricity racing down her spine. She let him kiss her until there came a knock at the door. And long after the highly embarrassed and awkward James had left with Sirius, Lily sat on the floor, shocked and confused, trying to make sense of the feelings coursing through her body, and desperately missing the feel of his lips on hers and the warmth and comfort of his arms wrapped around her.

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Later that night, Lily was sitting on the couch in their common room, still running through the events of recent weeks in her mind. She was slowly starting to realize that she thoroughly enjoyed kissing James Potter, that she reveled in the feeling of being in his arms, that she craved the thrill of staring into his beautiful hazel eyes. But, of course, she thought this was all a passing fancy that was simply brought on by the fact that he had many times come to her rescue. It was probably just the natural feelings that anyone who is rescued has towards their rescuer. Nothing more. It couldn't be anything more.

At that moment, James walked in, and at the sight of Lily he stopped dead. His eyes got large as saucers and he stood there looking at her for several minutes, before he bolted into his room.

Is it weird that I'm a little disappointed that he didn't kiss me right then. Why would he kiss me? He thinks I hate him. Well, that didn't stop him before. But then he seemed to just get caught up in the moment. Like he couldn't help himself. The other day, though, with the mistletoe, he actually wanted me to like him. Well that is never going to happen. Oh, man, why am I even thinking about this anyways. All of this because I got confused because of a couple of kisses. You know, I should kiss him again, when there is no reason to, when he hasn't just saved my skin, just to see if I get the same feelings. Maybe I only felt like that because I was in that damsel-in-distress scenario, maybe if we were to just kiss under normal circumstances it wouldn't mean as much. Hmmm, I very much like this idea. I should share it with James…

Lily walked cautiously to James' door and knocked quietly. After several minutes the door opened to reveal a shocked James.

"James, can we talk."

"Okay." Man, he looks a little cute when he is confused. He stepped out of his room, standing awkwardly in front of her.

"Well, I am a little confused because of what has happened, you know, between us recently." She was looking avidly at the floor, unable to meet his eyes. "I'm just a little unsure as to what I am feeling right now, and I've been trying to sort it all out, and… well… I was just thinking that it would help me a lot if I knew if the feelings I have were just a one time thing, brought on by the circumstances, or if they really are… well, real, so it would really help me if… um… maybe you could kiss me again, now, when you don't actually have to, and maybe then I could figure things out…"

James had been staring at her throughout her rambling speech with a look of incredulous disbelief on his face, but when she got to the part about kissing her again he slowly moved closer to her, and before she could say anything else he cut her off with a kiss.

Oh wow! Sparks! I see sparks! And music! Do you think he can hear the music, too? Okay, so I appear to like being kissed by Potter. This of course does not mean that I like Potter. I just happen to be a little bit obsessed with being kissed by him.

James pulled reluctantly away from her, and brought his eyes up to look in hers. He saw confusion, and a furious battle being fought inside. He had hoped that maybe she was serious, that maybe she might be starting to fall for him as he had long ago fallen for her, but she didn't seem to be reaching any conclusion any time soon. But, Merlin, was it heaven to kiss her.

Wait! Why did he stop, he is not allowed to stop kissing me! Well we'll just see about that…

Lily grabbed the front of his robes and brought his face back to hers, once again relishing in the bliss of being kissed by James Potter. She was thoroughly enjoying herself, and slowly brought her arms up to the back of his neck.

I always wondered what it would feel like to run my hands through his hair… Oh, I like that.

James pulled his own hands through her long locks and gently tugged her head back so that he had more access to her mouth.

Oh, Merlin! Yep, I'm definitely obsessed with this boy's kisses. Good thing he likes me, and all. I bet I can get him to kiss me all the time. And that will certainly be enjoyable.

As she gently opened her mouth beneath James', allowing his tongue to enter, a thrill went down James' spine. He slowly wrapped his arms around her tiny waist, pulling her even closer to him, as he delved the recess of her mouth.

Oh, my. I didn't know you could do that with your tongue. But I certainly like it…

They stood for several minutes, relishing in the joy they felt, when James finally pulled away, panting slightly. He gently took her hand and led her over to sit down on the couch, then he turned to face her.

"Lily… um… what is going on here? Does this mean you want to go out?" Her eyes shot open, and he could see a look of pure and unadulterated fear on her face.

"No," she said slowly. "I'm not really sure right now. I'm definitely not ready to date you right now. And I don't really want anyone else knowing about this, at least not yet. But I can't deny the fact that I really like kissing you." She paused for several seconds, as if deep in thought. Why does this have to be so darn complicated! "Maybe… maybe we could just stay like this for a little while. No commitment yet, just enjoying each others'… um… company."

He looked at her carefully. That wasn't really what he wanted. With her, he wanted it all. The commitment, the public displays of affection, all the things that normal guys were scared out of their minds of. He wanted it all, he wanted all of her, but she wasn't ready to give him that yet. And he couldn't deny that kissing her was sheer ecstasy. Maybe it would be okay if they just kept things the way they were for awhile. At least he would get to kiss her, and she would come around eventually, she had to.

"I can live with that."

"Good." She smiled up at him, then pulled him towards her. "Now, where were we?"

"Here." He responded eagerly, as he once more attacked her mouth with his own and allowed his hands to caress down her sides.

A/N: Poor James! We'll see how long he lasts before this drives him crazy…