Sorry this has taken me so long to update between chapters 2 and 3. Chapters 1 & 2 are being rewritten right now. I'm talking it over with my beta, and we're determining how to improve these first two chapters, because let's face it, they're horrible compared to the others.
Um…Okay, getting a few things straight. This takes place in the first book, just before the flock breaks out of The School for the second time. The OC does not resemble me, nor is he a good person by anyone's standards, and he doesn't fall in love with anyone. I don't write cheap, old and overdone story plots. It just isn't me.
There's a full year between chapter 2 and 3, so the story does improve as you read on. Thanks to KrazyKatie for finding all my plot mistakes! Thanks to The Blue Smurf Bandit for correcting the typos earlier!
I chose to write this after James Patterson really butchered the story. I'd been writing a novel very similar to Maximum Ride. It was the first fiction I'd ever written (before I even knew about and so I was totally amazed when it came out. But since then, call me a snob or something, but I think he butchered the plot with a vengeance. So many loose ends! So much unnecessary fluff! I couldn't stand it. It needed a darker story, one where the enemy is smart and cunning, and the lines between friend and foe are often blurred.
I've been reading a lot of maximum ride fanfiction lately, too, to measure myself up. If you are going to try and write a fanfiction, I strongly suggest you read the story 'Maximum Ride Guide to Mary Sues.' Don't accuse me of making my OC too strong or anything, I've read the guide, and I'm taking it very much to heart. I wish others would do the same…
Chapter 2: Escape Plans
A a a a a a a a a a a a a a
"So, how'd you end up in here?" Ghost asked.
Angel huddled a bit. "I was…kidnapped." She said, hugging her knees to her chest further. It was cold in this room, and it was hard not to notice when deprived of her sense of sight the various other discomforts to be found in this room. Like the bad smell and taste of the stale air.
"Where were you kidnapped from?" asked Ghost. Talking was making her feel a little safer, a little warmer.
"Erasers. Came after us." she sniffed, tears starting to well up. "They took me from the lake house."
"What happened? It sounded like you had a decent living, if you were in a house and all." Ghost said wistfully. "Must have been nice."
Angel shook her head, as if it would lessen the memory any. "They attacked us. No warning. Just jumped out of the trees. Threw me in a bag and took off with me inside it." She sniffled.
She felt someone tap at her shoulder. How he knew where she was in the room was a mystery. She turned around, feeling the well-muscled but thin and wiry arm it belonged to. "I'm a bit to your right." He said. The hand felt her face and used what felt like a shirt sleeve to wipe off a tear. When the sleeve dropped, she felt for it in her lap and discovered that it was actually a scrap of cloth. "How-" she asked, drying her tears. She didn't know why, but drying her tears somehow stemmed their flow and made her feel a lot better.
"I ripped it off a scientist's white coat." He said guiltily before changing topics. "You said 'us,'" he said. "Are 'they,' whoever 'they' are, here too?"
"No," she said, dabbing it at her tears again. "I don't think so. I hope not, anyways. I wish no one was here. No whitecoats, no Erasers, no experiments. Why can't we all just find a home and stay there?"
"That's…an interesting idea. So I'm assuming you still have a home to go back to?" he asked, as if it was important in some way. "Or maybe others are waiting for you, assuming they didn't leave once they learned their location was found out?" Angel sensed something stir inside his mind when he said that. It was just a slight, momentary spike in his consciousness, and nothing she could get a solid fix on.
"I wouldn't say they're waiting." She said. "They're probably either here, or on their way."
"On their way because they chose to?"
Angel nodded in the darkness before she caught her self and muttered an affirmative. "I hope."
There was a full ten seconds of silence until he spoke again. "Well…then what do you say we try to get the hell out of here?" he asked.
"What?" Angel asked.
"Well, your friends are on their way, aren't they? We can't have them just walk into a trap, can we?" he asked. She paused, waiting for him to finish telling her what his plan was.
"No, I mean, how?" she explained.
"I've tried everything I can think of, and I've come up with a few great ways to get out. The only problem left is getting out of the door. There's no handle in here, and the door is made of solid steel. Once we're actually out of our cell, I think getting out will be pretty easy if we travel in a pair. I can make it look like I'm escorting you somewhere."
Angel's tears dried quickly. From the darkness of despair came tiny rays of hope. Darkest just before dawn, she thought to herself. She focused her mind. There had to be something she could do…something to get them out. Some detail someone had missed. But like Ghost had said, brute force wasn't going to work against a door like the one holding them inside. If muscle had failed, then perhaps the mind would succeed. It helped that Angel's mind was probably the sharpest in existence. The difficulty of the task now weighed down on her. The last time they'd escaped, they'd had inside help, namely the once presumed deceased Jeb Batchelder. But she knew several factors were in her favor this time, among them being someone she hadn't even seen. Oh, and, as she expanded her mind, one tired guard who was getting some much needed sleep outside the cell.
"Hold on. I have an idea." She said, not listening for an answer before mentally reaching out to the guard sleeping outside the hallway. Angel had had the power to alter minds for a short while, perhaps a month ago she had really began to notice it. Of course, she had kept it to herself. Telepathy was one thing for Max and the others to handle, but control, albeit a weak and untested ability to suggest something to someone without their knowing…well, it might not go over so well.
Ghost didn't say anything, and let her concentrate. She concentrated hard, stretching out her conscious self even further. Max would not approve of her doing this. Then again, she was sure Max wouldn't mind if it was just someone from The School, and they were asleep. It wasn't like that person was doing anything important, she thought, putting aside her own doubts at the same time. She brushed against the guard's sleepy mind and established a small connection. Angel probed it gently. She didn't know what touching a person's mind too hard when the target was asleep would do to them, but she wasn't exactly eager to find out.
Angel slowly exerted control over the hapless watchman, who never even picked up on her presence until she'd firmly established herself in his mind. If anyone had been watching, they would have seen the man's eyelids drift open wearily. Any passerby would see the man stumble out of his stool, slowly and clumsily, as if very drunk, make his way towards one of the cell doors and then pause before it and, with agonizing slowness, reach out and unlock it before collapsing with a snore on the floor.
Ghost sat in the darkness, waiting to hear her idea, when the door suddenly clanked. He frowned. He'd tried every way of breaking down that door, but he'd never heard that sound unless someone on the outside was trying to get it open. He shielded his eyes just in time as the door swung in, letting in the first rays of light that Ghost had not seen for far too long, in his opinion. He tensed every muscle in his body, ready to feel an Eraser's firm grip take him by the shoulders and yank him to his feet. Instead, he saw Angel's silhouette stand and put her foot in the door before it could swing closed.
Slowly, his eyes stopped hurting so much and he cracked open his eyelids another millimeter. The world was still unbearably white, but he could vaguely make out figures, one of which was the distinctive blue uniform of the hall guard lying semi-conscious in the hallway. Ghost stumbled to his feet and lurched for the guard. If the guard recovered and turned on his radio, then the escape would be foiled before it had even gotten underway. Before he could reach out and get a fistful of the guard's uniform, however, Angel grabbed him by the wrist and spoke.
"Let's go," she said softly. Ghost gave a wary glance to the guard, who settled himself back onto the floor. He grabbed the shoe of the guard and gently gave a pull, dragging him into their cell. Payback was sweet. Ghost stared in disbelief at the now open until he felt Angel's hand wrap around his arm. He slowly turned to face her, as if reluctant to leave the mysteriously opening door. The surprise he'd shown earlier would be nothing compared to the way he was going to stare at her wings, which were folded behind her dirt and sweat stained shirt, even though he said nothing. There would be time to explain everything later.
"You just-"
"Yes, I know, I just knocked him out, but we need to move," she said impatiently, putting a bit of emphasis on the word. "You said you had a way out of here."
That snapped Ghost out of his haze, though he still spared a glance backwards to make sure the guard was really asleep as he grabbed Angel by the arm and sprinted down the hallway as fast as he could.
A a a a a a a a a a a a a
Ghost was scared of Angel…but he didn't want to admit it. Another fact he didn't want to admit was that Angel was the only reason that they'd managed to avoid every patrol so far. Ghost was panting heavily. They'd been on the move for more than five minutes, and every 'break' in which they hid he was forced to hold his breath. The stress was getting to him, too. He never knew when he'd round a corner and come face-to-face with a squad of Erasers that had somehow caught onto their mysterious and totally unplanned escape. But Angel seemed to somehow know when danger was coming, and had kept them out of sight with an uncanny accuracy.
They shot down the mostly empty hallways, their soft, shoeless footsteps barely audible against the tile, moving quickly. Angel spared him a curious glance. He had recovered quickly for someone who had been about to attack a sleepwalking guard half-blindly only a few minuets prior. Now he was keeping pace with her, and she felt that he was holding back. Angel stopped suddenly, and Ghost quickly slid to a halt. His eyes scanned both ends of the hallway for any evident threat, but didn't see anything.
Without a word, Angel sprinted back the way they'd come. Ghost ran as fast as his legs could carry him, thinking she'd somehow detected something again. He intended to ask her about that later, when they were far away from here and somewhere safe. She rounded the intersection that they had passed only seconds before and took the corner down another hallway. Ghost spared one last look over his shoulder before rounding the corner, and almost barreled into Angel, who had stopped in front of a nondescript looking door. She stared at intently, as if her stare would somehow melt off the handle.
She leaned into Ghost and beckoned. He leaned down and she whispered into his ear. "There's a guard in there, but we need to get inside. Can you take care of him for me?"
Ghost hesitated. "Is it an Eraser?" he asked. Angel shook her head. "Then I think I can handle it," Ghost said, shifting his eyes down both the hallways. Anywhere was better than in the middle of a hallway. He was surprised that they hadn't encountered a scientist or eraser yet.
"Get ready," she said, placing her hand on the door. Angel knew that Ghost wanted to ask her a million questions, like why the guard here wasn't asleep and why he was inside the cell rather than outside.
Angel pulled down on the handle, pushed the door open, and leapt aside as fast as she could. Ghost bounded inside and swung a closed fist at the man's face with far more force than was necessary to knock someone unconscious. The man had just finished turning around to see it only inches from his face before the impact snapped his head back violently. The guard hit the floor, definitely unconscious, and possibly dead. She swore she heard the cracking of bones. Angel looked up at Ghost in shock. The whole thing had happened in less than a second. She'd only asked that he restrain the man, not kill him. But he didn't seem to mind the excess at all. In fact, he closed his fist again, flexing it, and smiled at her proudly.
"Got him," he said, as if there was nothing wrong. He stopped grinning when he turned, however, to see what, or, to be precise, who else was in the room. It was the flock, each put in individual steel-wire cages. Each was regarding Ghost carefully, who was returning the look with an equal amount of curiosity.
"Um…Angel, who is that?" Max asked.
A a a a a a a a a a a a a
After a full minute of introductions and shortened explanations, the flock was completely out of their cages, stretching their limbs and examining one another.
"The halls are really quiet," Ghost commented, eying the guard, as if he would get up at any moment. Angel seriously doubted it. Ghost had hit him hard enough to leave the man in a coma, but she wasn't about to call anyone paranoid while they were in this place.
"That makes sense. It's five in the morning," Gasman said, checking the unconscious guard's watch. "If the hallways get crowded all of a sudden, then our escape's become common knowledge."
"Oh, that makes me feel better," Max said sarcastically, rolling her eyes while massaging her arms.
"Ghost said that he had a plan, and I'm yet to actually hear the details." Angel said.
"It'll be hard sneaking all of us out. My plans were kind of stretched at two. I don't think we'll be able to fit seven." Ghost said, concerned.
"We're dead," Gasman said glumly.
"Angel, exactly how did you get brought here? I mean, by truck?" Ghost asked.
Angel shrugged, a little embarrassed. "I got put in a bag and taken here by a helicopter. They only let me out after they brought me inside. I didn't see anything."
Gazzy snapped his fingers. "That's it!"
"What's it?" asked Iggy, full of sarcastic hope. "You mean we aren't doomed?"
"We can use the helipad on the roof!" he said. "It's the best place!"
"A helipad," Max said, obviously thinking it over. "Yeah, that will work, except no one here is a pilot, and I don't think we're faster than a helicopter."
"Okay, but what if we break some stuff in them? Like the control sticks?" Fang asked.
"Or we could just reach under the hood and smash stuff up," Iggy suggested.
Nudge grinned. "Well, I guess that will secure a getaway. Like in that movie-"
"But what about you?" Angel asked, turning to Ghost.
"You let me worry about that." Ghost said. "I've got this part down pat." Once again, he looked down at the guard he'd knocked unconscious. "But I think we need a disguise."
A a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a
So, for those of you who are new, what do you think of the new version? I got rid of some of the OOC, toned down Ghost's role in things, and got rid of a few more typos. It's about 200 words shorter, so that means I stripped it of a lot of unnecessary parts.
Interestingly, I updated chapter 2 (this chapter) before I did chapter 1. If anyone notices anything else that's wrong, private message/review. There is a reward for doing so. And you get a free mention (unless you don't want one).
Please leave a review, they make me smile and put me in a good mood for a few days. I like being happy.
Uh, I rewrote it at 1:00 in the morning. (that's when I started). Amazingly, thanks to a Monster energy drink, a little adrenaline, and a thing of chocolates, I'm more or less awake. Amazing. Uh, I'm gonna rewrite these first two again, taking more time. When I have it. Classes start soon, you see, and I'm packing now.