A/N: Consider this my Christmas present for you wonderful people! Happy Holidays!

xxxxxx

When You Lose Your Way

The One That Takes You

xxxxxx

Please stop - don't - please..

I shot up from my bed again, sweat dripping like rain drops down my face and panting like I'd just ran a cross country race.

Blast those nasty dreams.

They were coming so much more often now. I thought if I just cleared my head everytime before I went to bed they would go away but almost three nights in a row they would always come back, either repeating themselves or showing something new. Tonight, they'd added a horrible sobbing and pleading, which scared the life out of me just hearing it.

I researched why dreams could be repetitive or why they might keep repeating themselves and continue with another scene in the library, and I'd find out that either it was a premonition (which was rare, if you're not a Seer) or something that had already happened and your mind was trying to make you remember, triggered by sudden events. I'm pretty sure I could cross out the premontion option. I just didn't know what may have already happened.

I could tell Granger could hear me panting from the next room. I could feel her worry miles away and her stirring from the wall that seperated us. She was scared for me, and I almost appreciated her caring.

I went with her to see Dumbledore, and she'd told him that soon she would tell everyone else. But she hadn't. Two very long weeks had passed, filled with nightmares, rehearsing of the words and urging to hurry up and come out with it. But still she hadn't. I knew that I shouldn't be urging her to tell, because she would do it when she was ready, but I thought that once they knew then the burden would be lifted off my back as well... and maybe stop those dreams.

But it was very doubtful.

The morning after, however, she had an odd look of determination on her face, and I'd questioned her the minute I'd gotten out of the bathroom. I found her at our kitchen counter, squeezing an apple, not eating it. She looked up at me and then looked away.

"What's up?" I asked her. I'd been asking her that a lot lately.

"Nothing," she said noncholantly. I shrugged and pulled out a bowl from one of the cupboards and poured a hefty amount of cereal in it which I retrieved from one of our counter tops. I then took out a glass and poured some pumpkin juice into it, taking only a sip.

"You look weird," I told her after getting a few bites of my breakfast.

She glared at me and put (slammed) the apple back in our fruit basket. "That wouldn't be the first time you've told me that," Granger snapped, digging her hands in her pocket.

"Sheesh," I said, backing off. I guess it was really true that girls got mood swings when they were pregnant. "Why so frustrated, Granger? I mean, I know you've been acting like a nut case for a while but this is just a little odd."

She rubbed both her temples with one hand, while keeping the other one in her pocket.

"I... I've decided I was going to tell them today," Granger answered nervously. "And I'm so stressed because I've been thinking all night about how to start, what to say, what to do, but I've got absolutely nothing!"

Obviously by them she meant Potter, Weasley, her parents, and most probably the whole school. I picked nervously at my bowl of food with my spoon, not knowing how to react to that.

"Well... just say whatever first comes to mind," I offered lamely. She just glared at me. "What?" I asked her defensively, "I'm not an expert on telling my best friends I'm pregnant, okay, so don't expect some astonishingly amazing advice." Granger raised her eyebrows. Gracefully, she picked up the apple again and began squeezing it with one hand, obviously thinking.

"You just came out of the bathroom."

...Okay.

"Yeah? So?"

She took a step towards me (which usually she never does) and gave me a disgusted look.

"You just came out of the bathroom and didn't even bother to wash your hands!"

I looked down on them, half of them flakey because they'd hand-picked some of the cereal. I shrugged.

"Yeah, but - "

"Go wash your hands!" Granger suddenly said, now very near me and pushing me towards the bathroom.

"What? But I - "

"Now, Malfoy! That's disgusting!"

I glared at Grangerr from what view I had of her. She couldn't be serious, could she?

I'd stumbled into the bathroom, knocking over a few towels that were stacked against the wall. I'd grabbed onto them for support, only to thrust them all around. One even left the room as I thrashed around, trying to stop myself from entering. Granger shut the door, and from what I could hear, began walking quickly back to the kitchen. I rolled my eyes. Mood swings.

Unwillingly, I began picking up the towels and not bothering to re-roll them before I washed my hands. I hung them instead, on whatever I could see had somewhat of a hook on it. Remembering I'd thrown some outside of the bathroom, I opened it quickly, and walked out, before Granger could question whether or not I'd washed them yet.

But I didn't pick up the towel.

Granger was holding a thin flask of a white liquid and holding it over a glass. She looked up, obviously not expecting to see me outside so quickly, and put both items behind her back. She put on an innocent face, but it didn't work for me. What was she doing?

"Granger, what are you doing?" I asked, as if I'd just caught her trying to smuggle some of my stuff outside of the dorm.

"Nothing," she said, a little too quickly. I craned my neck and went on my tip toes to try and see what she held behind her hands. "It's nothing," she repeated, "really, it's just this potion I'm testing, want to see if it works, you know? It has to have a proper run through, so obviously I - "

But while she'd been talking I'd walked like a bullet towards her before she could even notice, and pulled the glass and flask out of her hands. She gasped a little, not knowing how fast I could be, and looked at me reproachfully. Oh well.

"What's this?" I questioned, holding up my pumpkin juice and the flask. "Trying to test it on me, are you now?" I asked her. She looked at me nervously and tried to get it back but I pulled it away from her.

"Give it back, Malfoy!" she complained. I eyed the contents of the flask instead of listen to her.

"...White... liquid... somewhat gooey... not Veritaserum... definitely not bubble juice..." Her eyes widened in panic and she tried to swipe it away from me.

"Malfoy - really - "

I undid the clasp of the flask and wafted the smell towards me. I ignored Granger's ranting to give it back to her. With my free hand, I took my index and middle finger, dipped it in slowly, and brought the gooey white thing up to my lips. I let it touch and smoothed it around. I'd tasted this before. My Father would force it down my throat if I'd wake up in the middle of the night from nightmares and bother him. I looked at Granger inredulously.

"What the hell?" I asked, while spitting out the goo from my lips.

"Damn," she muttered under her breath, not looking me in the eye.

"Dreamless sleep potion, Granger? Why? Why were you slipping it into my drink?"

She looked away from me and stood there, the cogs in her head working like mad to give her an excuse for what she was doing. I could see it clearly from the way she fidgeted uncomfortably and cleared her throat countless times.

"...I didn't want you having those dreams anymore."

So far I could tell that that was the truth.

"And why not?" I interrogated, somewhat meanly.

Granger looked at me with narrowed eyes and tried to look calm and cool. Who was she trying to kid?

"They're terrible dreams, and they continue to affect your academic life, which more than often includes me. I don't like how it's taking up so much of your time and distracting you from the important things," she explained matter-of-factly, with her arms now crossed. I gave her a sketchy look and pursed my lips.

"Well who knows, Granger? I might want to be having these dreams. They could tell me something important."

She looked at me with unbelieving eyes.

"If they could, you probably wouldn't want to know!" she yelled. Holy geesh. I was right in front of her for goodness sake.

I sighed and emptied the potion, letting it drain in the sink. She looked at me angrily but I let the water wash it away and down the plumbing anyways. I gave the flask back to her, which she took back grudgingly then gave her my most authoritative look.

"Take your own advice for once, Granger, and mind your own business. These dreams are my dreams, and I'll make of them what I will. So until further notice, don't ask me anymore about them, unless I do first. Okay, Granger?"

She stood there grumpily, arms crossed, head cocked up forward, looking anywhere but at me. I searched her eyes, looking for an answer there, the real answer, as to why she didn't want me having the dreams. Granger, I now noticed, was more concerned about them than she should have been, and I just thought it was plain worry. But now, I could see something lay beyond the worry, which only made me worry just as much. This is all that I was thinking in the million years it took for her to finally respond.

"Fine," and then she nodded reluctantly, making me ease on the subject for now.

But not for long.

xxxxxx

I was watching Granger very closely.

The way she twisted her robes in her fingers, looking back from Potter to Weasley with anxious eyes. She was going to tell them soon after this class, I could tell.

Potter would twist around in his seat, and catch Granger's eye. She would smile at him meekly, and he would return it, not thinking anything of the worry that was easily seen through it. He would nudge Weasley and tell him something funny, to which he would laugh at and tell Granger. She would laugh as well, but I could hear it, and I knew it was forced.

The bell rang ominously throughout the room, and Granger gasped. Perhaps she wasn't expecting it to come so soon.

"Let's go," Blaise said to me, while beginning to pack up his things, "I'm starving."

"I'll catch up with you," I said dismissively, "Professor says he wanted to see me after class on the report he handed back to me today." Of course that was a lie.

Blaise smirked and slapped me on the shoulder. "I knew you couldn't be that smart. What'd you get, mate? An 'E'? Maybe an 'A'?" I gave him a sarcastic look.

"A 'P,' you idiot. And it's only because I didn't understand the concept." A lie once again. I just wanted to hear what Granger had to say to Potter and Weasley.

Blaise choked out a laugh and patted me harder on the back, as if I was the one holding back laughter. "Oh wow. This is too good." I gave him another sarcastic look after he left, all smiles and laughter. After he'd disappeared through the door, I slowly followed, parking myself a ways away from the door, which I purposefully left slightly ajar, so I could hear Granger's voice.

The golden trio were the only people left in the room.

"Coming to lunch, Hermione?" Weasley asked her.

She paused. I couldn't tell what she was doing, but my bets were that was she twisting her robes again.

"What's up?" Weasley asked, after she didn't answer.

Granger didn't respond. She wasn't ready. The silence she was giving off was enough to tell me she wasn't even close to ready. I sighed and took a tiny step forward. Maybe I would interfere, and save her from the situation.

"I..." Granger started off weakly. I slapped my head. She was already screwing up. "I have to tell you guys something," she said more confidently. My mouth gaped.

"What is it?" Harry asked, now worried. I could almost picture him holding her shoulder, trying to support her.

"It's important, and completely unbelievable, but you have to believe me when I tell you. I've long since accepted it, so please just listen to me and don't freak out. And you have to promise not to kill whoever's... done it to me, if I choose to tell you."

"What do you mean? What do you mean who's done it to you, Hermione?" Harry questioned, probably dying for her confession now. My ears perked slightly.

"It's like this..." Granger began, starting from three weeks back. Had it already been almost a month? No wonder she'd decided to tell them now rather than later. It's been three months, and Granger was obviously getting fatter and wearing baggier clothes to hide it. She couldn't let the rumours start and let Potter and Weasley find out from somewhere else.

She began from the very beginning. How'd she had missed her period and began puking almost on a daily basis. She had never mentioned me, and I was a little angered by that.

"Oh my God..." Weasley said, taking it in much too quickly. "Hermione, please, please don't tell me..."

She was about this close to crying. Her voice cracked everytime she spoke and Potter had not even said anything.

"Ron, please," Hermione said, "I've already told Dumbledore and he thinks it's fine. Amazing in fact. Please tell me you feel the same way about this."

"About... about you being - Oh God, I can't even say it," he said, as if he were the one that was confessing.

"Harry... Ron," Granger said, and I could detect some happiness there, "I'm... I'm pregnant."

I acted like I had just received the news myself. My eyes widened in disbelief, shocked she had finally done it. My hands thrashed about, in a sort of "Did she do it? Did she really do it?" kind of thrashing, all the while holding back my crys of "Holy shit!"

They were both silent. I didn't know how they would take it but I didn't think it would be like this. It was either they happy, sad, or angry about it. Not... so quiet.

"I... can't - Hermione..."

"Ron, it's not as bad as you think. I've begun accepting it and... and I'm keeping it," Granger said proudly.

I think Weasley smiled after that.

"Hermione, I always knew you were never one to give up on things. Even on babies," he said, laughing, although a little but like a lunatic. "I'm... proud of you, Hermione. And I'm with you till the end," he said. They hugged, I think.

When they parted, I could almost feel Granger's eyes on Potter. He hadn't said anything so far, and I almost thought he would bolt out of the room, catching me eavesdropping. But he didn't. He didn't even congratulate her or ask her how long this had been going on. Not even who else she'd told.

"Well, Harry? What do you think?" she said, trying to sound relieved. But she wasn't relieved yet. Not until Potter said something.

"Who's the father?" he asked sternly.

She began to tumble on her words. "What - what do you mean, Ha - "

"I mean who did this to you? Who gave you the baby?"

"...It's not important right now - "

"Yes it is! Hermione, we know, Ron and I know, that you wouldn't give yourself up at this age. You were going to wait till marriage, we both knew it! Either you were forced or seduced, Hermione. Who did this to you?"

I could tell she was outraged.

"What makes you think I didn't want this? Maybe I did. Maybe I loved someone enough to share the most precious thing I had with him! Maybe I didn't ask for a baby but it's a blessing nonetheless!"

Potter's tone softened, obviously sorry for putting it that way.

"Hermione, I didn't mean it like that. I... of course. You're much too responsible to get into anything like that. You're my Hermione," he said, with a great sense of caring in his voice. I moved closer to the door, and I could see him holding both her hands tightly, supporting her like there was nothing more in the world he had to do right now except hold her.

"I'm with Ron on this one. I'm with you till the end, and whatever you decide to do, I will back you up one hundred percent."

That was when Granger began crying into his shoulder. Weasley moved in, soothing her by rubbing her back. He burried his face into her shoulder, and for a second I thought he was crying. Maybe. I couldn't really see from where I was standing. If I hadn't been the Slytherin I was I would have found the scene completely heart-warming.

"Hermione... it's okay. You've got us now."

She weeped happily into Potter's shoulder, glad that they had accepted the pregnancy they way they did. Potter and Weasley down... parents and the whole school left to go.

"Thank you. Thank you both so much for... everything," she said. I don't think she could have put it into words. She pryed herself away from Potter, trying to support herself now. "Now... please, do me a favour?" she asked them, wiping at her eyes.

"Anything," Weasley said. And his voice was scratchy. I think he was crying.

"I need to tell my parents. I've got to tell them now before I lose whatever courage I have left in me. I've used it all up on telling you two," she said in a funny, angrily way. "Could you help me tell them?"

Potter linked his arm in hers. Weasley followed suit with Granger's other arm. I began backing away from the door, inch by inch.

"I'm with you till the end, Granger," Harry said confidently, taking her to the door.

"As am I," Ron said, with a try-hard noble voice. Granger giggled.

"Then let's go!"

And before they skipped merrily out of the room, arm in arm on their way to who knows where, I was already gone, leaving not a trace of a hint that I had been listening.

xxxxxx

"Holy Merlin. Did you hear? Hermione Granger is pregnant!"

"Is it true? Is Hermione pregnant?"

"I never expected it! No way!"

"Obviously this isn't true guys, would you drop it?"

There were so many different things I could hear in the hallways about Granger being pregnant. Only one day had passed and already the whole school knew about it. Even the stupid first years, talking like it was their business even though they hardly knew the girl. Every corner I turned, every hallway I walked through, people would have their mouths cupped, lips moving, already in deep gossip about the latest news.

I was in the Great Hall, where about half the school was glued to the Gryffindor table in a large cluster of people asking Granger if the rumours were true. I didn't have to be near in order for me to hear, because practically everyone was shouting.

"Hermione, you can't be serious! You are pregnant?"

I wouldn't hear her answer, but everytime the question was thrown in a raucous noise of squeals and giggles would follow.

"That's so unexpected but so amazing! The girls and I could get you some baby clothes for Christmas! What do you think of baby blue pyjamas of sheep if it's a boy?" And they were back into business.

I was feeling quite miserable today.

I felt somewhat special, being the only one that knew. Now, the whole school including her parents knew (rumour had it that Granger went up to the owlery with Potter and Weasley to owl the news to them, and just this morning they sent her a letter back, telling her of how they never expected this of her but would support her nonetheless) and I was falling back into my regular routine with her, no more plotting to somehow keep it a secret.

And to make matters completely, horribly, and frighteningly worse, was that I had finished the dream. And I didn't like it.

"Hermione? Can I be the God-mother?"

"Oh, Parvati, that's very nice of you to ask but..."

"Do you think maybe if it's a girl you could name it after me?"

"Well, Lavender, I have yet to discuss that but - "

"Ms Granger, I hope that this won't cause a disruption in any of your classes."

"Oh, no Professor, I'll be fine."

"Let me be the first one to hold your baby, Hermione!"

"That would be nice, Collin but I'm the Mother..."

The chatter went on and on. I thought there would be a few people against this, making fun of her and mocking her for getting knocked up, but it was only the people that didn't know her very much that did. So that would be a handful of Slytherins, and a few of the older portraits around the castle. But on the whole, people were treating her very nicely, and I was really glad about that. People accepted it.

"Hey! Give the girl some air, would you?" Weasley yelled to the crowd. "She's just pregnant people, no big deal." He grinned down at her, for he had stood up on the bench and yelled it to everyone. They all laughed and he sat down, kissing Granger brotherly on the cheek. She looked more happy than ever.

"So this baby... you're naming it after me, right?" Potter exclaimed to the crowd. I rolled my eyes and heard Blaise scoff beside me. The crowd errupted in boos and began telling Granger for it to be their name instead. She grinned like a fool.

I stood up, getting ready to leave this overly happy crowd. I was happy for Granger, of course, I wouldn't want anybody to be acting like this towards me, but they were getting much too corny, even for a Gryffindors. Besides, I didn't like it when everyone around me was so happy while I was miserable. The dreams had really gotten to me.

I was almost on my way out the door until I heard a voice drawl out.

"My, oh my. I can't believe it. Virgin prude Hermione Granger is now pregnant!" The guy who said it began clapping. I noticed that he was a measley sixth year Slytherin who even I didn't like. His name was Marcus, and he thought the world of himself. I'd been given detention for cussing him out and putting a Bat Bogey Hex on him. But he deserved it.

Potter got up from his seat, and put a hand on Granger's shoulder protectively, who's smile had now disappeared. I stayed still in my spot, watching the scene unfold.

"If you or anyone else has a problem with Hermione's pregnancy, just get out of here. Your presence right now is making me want to take you out."

Marcus smirked. "Come on. This girl was a geeky bookworm, probably the most potential witch ever to come to Hogwarts, and now she's knocked up. Don't tell me none of you find this hilarious."

The Professors had noticed this by now. They were looking up angrily from their dinners, with shocked faces. They had never heard such words come out of a Hogwarts students' mouth before.

"Mr Miles, if you are on your way out of the Great Hall, please make your exit quick. And I also ask you keep your taunts to yourself," McGonagall called out from the staff table. He looked at her with an indifferent yet smug look and shrugged.

"Alright. And Granger, congratulations on wrecking your life. I'd give you a standing ovation but my hands are too busy covering my mouth, which is secretly laughing right now. See you." And he turned around ready to leave the Great Hall.

Granger's eyes were watering, and something triggered in me.

I didn't know that this happened. I didn't even know how it happened. All I knew was that I stood up from the Slytherin table, ten feet away from the Great Hall doors, but suddenly, I was standing right in front of Marcus Miles, a look of pure anger on my face, I'm sure.

My right arm stretched back, my fist already balled. And in less than two seconds, it made contact with his nose, and I felt a warm liquid splatter on my fingers as it reclined. The whole Great Hall gasped, and was silent. Except for Miles' moaning and groaning of course. And I couldn't believe it.

I sucker punched him for Merlin's sake!

I looked up, worried the Professors might have to say something about this. I was the Head Boy after all. But all of them were still too busy staring. And when they saw me searching their faces, they suddenly looked down, shrugging and back in talk. I think they were playing the "Oh... I never saw anything," act. I was glad.

"Malfoy!" Granger said, shocked out of her mind. She had stood up, only to be standing right before me, with wonder in her eyes. I had just defended her.

"Granger, how could you let him talk to you like that?"

"You really expect me, a pregnant girl to do that?"

"Well someone had to shut that idiot up," I said, even though he was on the ground before me, without smell but still with a sense of hearing.

"Malfoy, honestly - " Granger whispered, trying to make our conversation quiet from everybody else. But they were all staring, and Potter and Weasley looked outraged by the fact that they were not the ones who defended her.

And I remembered I had to talk to Granger about the dream. It seemed urgent now, and now seemed like a perfect time. Not in front of everyone though. In private, of course.

"Granger, I have to talk to you - "

"No, not now, I'm in the middle of - "

"Come with me."

And before Granger could even get a word out, I pulled her right around by the wrist for she had turned away from me, ignoring her tiny shriek, and was dragging her out of the Great Hall. No one even bothered to say or do anything about it, for they were much too busy staring. I was glad for once that they doing that instead of anything else.

I had to talk to her about the dream. I had to tell her I finished it. I had to tell her that the ending was nothing I had expected, and that maybe she was right.

I really was the one to blame for all of this.

-

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-

To be continued...

A/N: What has dear old Draco realized? Maybe it's nothing, maybe it's something. Bwaha. And aren't you all glad Hermione's pregnancy is now out in the open and people accept it? Well, except for a few mean people. Don't expect that to be the last of Marcus Miles, my friends! Once again happy holidays, I hope you all have a safe Christmas! Love you guys! x)