A/N: Chapter 12, my favourite number! Lucky you x) Happy Valentine's Day btw! (this is my lovely gift for you! Enjoy!)
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When You Lose Your Way
My Very First Mistake
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I never really knew how informative my talks with Ginny could be. I mean, sure, we gossiped as much as Parvati and Lavender, and even spread a few rumours ourselves every once in a while, but who knew what I could have found out?
Our conversation when Draco had left to go to sleep had been a little more than eventful...
Ginny looked at me, a little suspiciously. "Hey... you don't... like him, do you?" I was so much more than shocked to hear that question. My mouth gaped in surprise. "Do you?" Ginny asked.
"No," I said plainly.
"Really?"
"Yeah. I mean... it's too soon to tell. I'm positive I don't, but hey, you never know."
"That's interesting."
"How so?"
"Oh, just 'cause. A while I go I actually heard Blaise and Draco talking about you. They were both walking down to the pitch, and they didn't even see me go past them on my way to visit Hagrid."
"What were they saying?" I asked curiously.
Ginny smirked. "Blaise kept on accusing Draco of liking you."
My jaw dropped to the very bottom of the bathroom floor. Gross, really. "What? Really? What did Draco say?" I had no idea why I was suddenly so interested.
Ginny shrugged. "He kept on throwing Blaise these dirty looks. Warning looks too. I dunno, it was weird. But I could tell Draco was angry."
I stared at myself into the mirror. Draco might like me?
"Gin..." I started off, "don't tell Harry or Ron what you heard. They'll go spazztic."
Ginny gave me an assuring look. "I knew not to the minute I heard it."
I sighed. "Thanks."
"Pass me the straightner, will you, Hermione?"
I nodded. "Sure thing."
And so that was my Saturday.
I never mentioned to Draco what Ginny had told me. And Draco never mentioned what Blaise had told him. We were basically not speaking about it whatsoever, which pleased me because I didn't want any awkwardness.
But I did want to talk to him about it.
Many things had explored my mind the night I found out. Draco and I - together. Draco and I - boyfriend and girlfriend. Draco and I - being a couple when the baby was born. Draco and I - marrying and living happily ever ...
Wow. I had gone a tad too far.
But still. The more I thought about it, the less it was disgusting and preposterous. I mean, if people could accept the fact that Draco had impregnated me without consent (my fancy term for rape) then surely they could quickly adjust to knowing that maybe Draco and I had feelings for each other.
Yeah, right.
"Why are you so quiet?" Draco suddenly said to me. I kept my head down, pretending to read. He stood at the kitchen counter, pouring himself cup after cup of tea. He offered to give me some but I turned it down continuously. I was too busy thinking to drink tea.
"No reason," I lied, while shrugging. To my protest, he came over and placed a cup in front of my face. I ignored it, causing him to place it on the centre table instead.
"You're not nagging at me much these past days," he regarded with interest.
"Because I'm not a nagger," I countered. He snorted, and I threw him a dirty look.
"I'm pregnant. I have my moments."
"Several," he added, while sipping his own tea. "Is something wrong?"
I thought for a moment. Did I want to bring up this whole 'feelings for each other' thing, in the middle of my pregnancy, right when some things are actually going fine?
"I don't know," I told Draco truthfully. "Is there?" Perhaps he would tell me the truth instead.
He hesitated for a moment and then placed his cup down. I looked at it and it was empty. He shook his head from side to side slowly. "...Nope," he answered. I was a little let down by his untruthful answer.
"Are you sure?" I urged. Come on, Draco, be honest!
He frowned and shrugged. "Really. Why? Should there be?
I looked from side to side and cocked an eyebrow. If he was going to lie then I could too. "No, not at all." I smiled at him.
Draco paused for a moment, examining me, and then sighed. Either he was disappointed I wasn't saying anything, or was ridiculously bored like myself. He was drinking tea for goodness sake. He never drank tea unless he had nothing to do!
Plus, he was wearing his black robes today. He only wears them on certain moody days. If there was no green in his attire, then you had better stay cautioned, or else he'd blow off his multiple lids simultaneously.
...Hmm. Is it just me, or do I know a little too much about him?
"Want to go clothing shopping for the baby in Hogsmeade right now? I've got nothing to do since I've done my homework." Draco said to me, after placing the things down at the sink.
I snapped my head up from the supposed book I was reading and smiled. "Me too. Let's go." Thank goodness we could get up and leave the dorm!
"I think it's also about time we go looking for a new place to live to. You know, so we have it by graduation and can move in at any given time."
"Yeah, that makes sense," I said, sitting up properly. "You could handle that. I'll go looking for clothes," I suggested. Draco scoffed.
"Oh, sure. Leave the hard thing to me."
"Well, do you have good sense in clothing?" I smirked.
"I wasn't raised a caveman," he said, chucking my coat at me from the closet. "Mother taught me how to clothe myself exceptionally well, if I do say so myself."
I got up slowly from the couch, and slipped my jacket on.
"Sure about that?"
"Positive," he said with a smile.
With those few amused words exchanged between us I had already forgotten about our whole 'feelings for each other' business. I was glad we were able to do that so quickly, and get back to more serious things. Like shopping. The parentage of our baby could wait!
And, if the planets are aligned correctly over Hogwarts (not that I follow Trelawney's way of prediction, which I truly don't) so could me confronting Draco about his feelings. I tightened my loose smile.
"Fine. Feel free to show me your amazing sense of style, Draco Malfoy."
He clapped his hands together and lead me out the door as I walked towards him. "Your wish is my command, Hermione Granger."
Oh, planets, I hope you're on my side today.
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"How's this? This is really cute," Draco suggested, while hodling up a hanger in front of me. I looked at his chosen attire for our future child.
"...Are you sure you weren't raised by cavemen?" I asked him, while taking the hanger and placing it back onto the rack. "That was absolutely horrifying. Why would you even consider shoving that thing onto our baby?"
He looked at me, rather offended. "It had all the appropriate characters! Plus, it was 100 cotton!"
"By appropriate characters you mean little sheep and farm animals? Our child is not a sheperd!"
"You care too much," he said aggravatedly, while going through another aisle of folded clothing. I followed him, and picked something up from one of the counters.
"Look at this," I ordered, shoving it in front of his face, "It's correctly sized. Appropriately designed. And made of 100 cotton as well. Pretty, isn't it?" I asked him. His mouth contorted into a pinched smile.
"...Yeah, of course. Put it in the bag."
I smiled at him daintily and folded the piece of clothing into our shopping bag. Truth be told, everything he'd suggested so far clothing wise wasn't bad. They were really nice. I just liked to get on his nerves. I never got to make him mad without earning an insult back, and now that I can, I never pass up the chance!
"How much do we have?" Draco asked, taking the bag from me. He counted the clothes we took so far and sighed. "Do we need more?"
I pouted. "Yes."
He nodded reluctantly. "Fine. One more, but after that, we're out of here."
I jumped and bounded to another corner of the room. "Yay! Thanks Draco!
"And to think that I would have rather done this than have the dorm all to myself... what I'd do for some peace and quiet," I heard him mutter to himself, although with a soft smile. "Ah, boy. Got to love Hermione."
My eyes widened and I froze. Did he say the 'L' word? Following my name? Love... Hermione? I heard him chuckle once more.
Hey, Hermione, don't get way in too over your head. It meant nothing. It didn't actually mean love. I mean, that would be preposterous. Completey beyond your imagination. He would never mean it!
"Draco?" I said, suddenly turning around.
He looked at me, not knowing I had been there to hear the surprising words leave his mouth, and smiled. "Yeah?"
Oh, boy. Tell me, why did I turn around to face him again?
Perhaps to humiliate myself by bringing up feelings?
Maybe to shove another clothing item in his face?
Or was it to ask him what his previous statement meant?
Maybe I should try all three.
Nervously, I clutched the article of clothing in my hand, and wrung it with my hands. "I... well... um..."
A worker in the shop walked passed Draco and I, and bumped into me on her way. I used this as a distraction, and pulled her around by the elbow, causing her blonde curls to whip around. Surprised, she gasped and smiled at me.
"Hello," she breathed. I smiled at her, though wasn't facing at her. Instead, I peered at Draco and he stared like a five year old looking at his first dirty magazine at the blonde girl. Why was he doing that? Why wasn't he looking at me instead? The girl wasn't that pretty, anyways.
"Hi," I replied, eyeing Draco a little bit more. Unknowingly, I dropped the article of clothing I thought I was holding onto tightly. It floated to the floor.
The girl, having watched it fall, bent down to pick it up. Draco's head went down with it.
Swift, move Granger. Really swift.
"May I help you?" she asked, after coming back up. Then I got a good look at her face. I gasped. I knew this girl!
"...Oh, yes - um - what do you think of this? Good clothing attire for an expectant mother?" I blabbed.
She gave me an odd look. "Well ma'am... it's rather small for you. This article of clothing is from the baby's section." Embarassed, I looked down at the clothing in my hands and tossed it aside. The lady whom I knew from somewhere smiled at me.
"Oh - yes, of course. My mistake," I muttered while turning around. Draco, however, kept on looking at her in a way that made me angry. I tugged at his sleeve to follow me to the register so we could pay for the clothes and get out of there. I didn't want him near her.
"Do I know you from somewhere?" he blurted, ignoring my tug at his arm. He stayed where he was at.
The lady, although looking a little older than him, was short, and looked upwards at Draco at about my size. I glared. "You probably don't. Let's go, Draco we still have to look for some apartments..."
"Draco?" she said, as if she had just caught on to something. "From Hogwarts?"
He nodded and peered at her for a moment. "S - Susie? The assistant medi-nurse Susie?" he asked, a smile now on his lips. The girl grinned widely.
"Yes! Oh, Draco, you're the boy who helped me up the stairs and handed out the potions for the experiments!"
"Oh, yes, he was. How nice of you to have done that, Draco," I said, trying to get my voice in the conversation. Draco ignored me completely, and I think I may have hissed. Like, literally hissed.
I couldn't be that mad, could I?
"It's nice to see you again!" he said, his arms now stretched out wide. "I thought you were just an assistant medi-nuse. Not a clerk at a clothing shop!"
Susie grinned at Draco. Not Draco and I. Just Draco.
"I work part time here. In fact, this is my first day!"
Lucky me.
"First day, you say? Wow," I said sarcastically, as if she was already letting the shop go into shambles, regardless of the fact that she mentioned I'd wanted to buy a size way too small for me moments ago. She was flirting with customers! You're not supposed to do that on your first day, or any day for that matter. Isn't it a rule that you can't date your clients or something? It should be!
"Yeah," she grinned, finally noticing me. Susie looked me up and down, intrigued by my stomach. I narrowed my eyes. Was she going to comment my chubbiness as well as ruin the moment I was going to finally confront Draco about the 'feelings for each other business?'
Oh lady, just give me one reason to curse you and I will!
"Wow, pregnant, are you? I've read the papers. Congratulations!" she offered, while even daring to run a hand across my stomach.
I slapped it away softly, as if her touch had burned me a little, and grinned fakely. "Yes. Draco's the father," I casually mentioned while nudging him. Draco looked at me wondering why I'd so 'subtely' slipped it in.
Instead of Susie widening her eyes and looking at Draco disgustedly for getting a teenage girl pregnant while still in school like I thought she would, she nodded knowingly. "Yes, I heard. Congratulations once again," she commented, while sticking her arms out to hug Draco. He did so obligingly.
I narrowed my eyes and pulled Draco out of her arms. He looked at me, obviously telling me to buzz off, but I ignored it. "We need to go pay for those clothes, Draco. Then we have to start looking for some living space," I bit out.
He pulled himself away from me, and walked over to the counter to pay for the clothes. To my dismay, Susie followed us. Oh for Heaven's sake.
"Nice to see you," I said dismissively, after the cashier lady gave us our change. "Hope to see you soon!" Not.
I shoved Draco towards the exit. He moved reluctantly.
"Perhaps we could see each other sooner," he suddenly suggested. I widened my eyes.
Was he asking her out? Did this 'we' include me?
"Oh?" Susie asked, obviously very interested as to hearing the rest.
"Dinner tomorrow night. If you're free?" Draco asked, stepping back into the shop. I let him go with dread, watching as he took each step closer to her.
I could tell by the look on his face that no, it didn't include me. And for some reason, I was saddened by it.
Susie grinned and nodded her head happily. "Oh yes of course! I would love too!"
They smiled at each other, and I watched as they exchanged some information with each other. I fought the terrible urge to puke or have an angry fit of shrieks going towards both Draco and Susie.
"Tomorrow then," Draco said, slipping out of the shop finally. Susie waved cheerfully out the shop window and went back to her work. I returned it till she was gone, my tight smile quickly turning into an angry scowl. I hid it from Draco as we rounded the corner of the street.
"How fun," I said sourly, as we continued to walk. He smiled.
"I always wanted to see her again."
Always? He'd spoken to her for five minutes and forgot about her in two weeks!
"Damn, she's beautiful," Draco said, as if the wind had been knocked out of him. What? What happened to 'Got to love Hermione?' The 'L' word! Followed by my name! Has he forgotten already?
I didn't answer him after a few minutes, while he continued to rant about her beauty and how much he hoped the following night would be nice for the both of them. I stopped and rolled my eyes.
"Oh yeah," he said, stopping with me, as I sat down on a bench, "did you want to say something to me? At the shop before we saw Susie, of course," he said more specifically. I looked around nervously.
"Oh, did I really?" I asked, faking bewilderment. "I can hardly remember," I lied, even scratching my chin. "Oh well."
Draco looked at me hesitantly for a moment and then sighed. "Right. Oh well," he echoed, and then shrugged. As soon as he had started, however, he began talking about Susie, and I was put into a rather angry mood.
So, first I hear Draco might like me.
Second I try and talk to him about it.
Third, Susie Something walks into the scene and makes Draco completely hypnotized over her.
Not that I care of course. I mean, it's Draco. I even said myself I didn't like him back, so what was the big deal if he got a date with some girl he barely knew? They wouldn't last a week. In fact, tomorrow would be their first and laste date. I had absolutely nothing to fuss about.
"I should get her flowers when I show up on her doorstep, shouldn't I, Hermione?" Could he ruin my day even more? I'm sure that we could probably cross out looking for a living space, now that he was obsessing over his date for tomorrow. I turned around and looked angrily up at the sky.
Of course, as I had expected, the distant planets, which appeared to be lonesome stars, were not correctly aligned.
They weren't on my side tonight.
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To be continued...
A/N: What's Susie doing back? Grr, that's not a good thing. Will her and Draco be a long term thing or a short term thing? Will their kid be having two mothers? Oh, let's not get too far...
BTW, I may accidentally put a 'he' or a 'she' when talking about Draco and Hermione's kid, but just FYI, it will most definitely be a mistake. I'm not revealing the gender of the baby till it's birth... which is far but not too far! Sorry to keep you in suspense. I hope you still love me! Read on to find out! Thanks for tuning in! Much love!