Authors Notes: Welcome to my story's lair! Go further to read or... exit where you came from, Mortal!
Disclaimer: I got all my information about Hermione's pain and condition from w w w . babycenter . com
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When You Lose Your Way
Smile For The Morning Light
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I felt a dull ache within my abdomen, and for some reason, I knew it wasn't good. And I wasn't in my bed, or in the living room where I had last been, speaking to Ginny. Where was I? As I craned my head to look around, I got up to sit and my sides cramped, while my stomach seared with pain again.
"Holy mother of Merlin," I breathed, getting up slowly, to hopefully recede the pains. It did little, but I couldn't feel it as much at least. "What the hell happened?" I ask to nobody. Slowly, worries began to surface through me. "Draco?" I hollered into the room. I don't know why I called his name but I thought that the sight of his face would ease my concern.
I tried to get up and out of my lumpy bed but I felt I was too tired. My legs were jelly and I knew if I tried, I would fall. With anger, I stopped myself from walking and looked around. Where was everyone? I only now recognized the multiple rows of beds all around me, and realized I was in the Hospital Wing. Something happened to me, I thought, but what?
I tried to remember what happened earlier in the late afternoon. It was morning now. So far, I could only recount the stabbing pain in my stomach everytime I moved, and how much it hurt. I felt it more and more through the day but ignored it, thinking it was the kicking of the baby. Was it really? I had no idea.
The only thing I could really remember were comforting words being hushed and whispered into my ear, as I groaned about the pain. Trust me, said the voice. So I did.
Then, slowly, it came rushing back to me. The words, the pain, everything. I began to pant, as if I'd run a mile. The pain was suddenly very real, even though I might have been imagining it. There was a storm in my stomach and it wouldn't stop.
"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow," I chanted, putting my hands over my stomach. "Son of a - ow!" I began rubbing it, heaving and hoeing, just as I'd been taught at my Lamaze classes.
"Heave, ho, heave, ho," I repeated, trying to ease the pain. And then, as sudden as it came, it stopped. Contractions?
"Ah, Ms Granger, you're finally up," someone said as they walked through the doors. I gasped, and sighed, glad that I was no longer alone.
"Medi-nurse Olsen, thank goodness! You have to help me! I'm giving birth, I'm having contractions!"
The woman came up to me, the one who handled and would take care of me for the duration of my pregnancy. Medi-nurse Olsen was most probably here at Madame Pomfrey's request. She smiled at me calmly.
"Hermione, just breathe. You're fine. You're not giving birth - well, not today, at least."
"What do you mean?" I asked. "I just had some serious pain ten seconds ago! You can't tell me that wasn't a contraction!"
"It was something else," she said instead.
I paused, thinking a fool of myself. She sounded so sure. And if she was sure, that meant I was wrong. "Did, um, I miss something?" I asked uneasily.
She laughed softly and my fears receded, very, very slowly. Her laughing must mean I'm okay.
"Oh yes, you did."
"What was it?" I questioned, never taking my hands away from my stomach.
"You passed out from pain a short while after you arrived here, as I was told, and you were in and out of consciousness as you were brought, so I'm not surprised you don't remember." I gasped. Me? Pass out from pain? I'm almost able to bear anything!
"What happened?" I asked her. Medi-nurse Olsen sat on the edge of my bed, and rubbed her hand over the blanket where it covered my sore feet. It felt like they each carried ten pounds at least.
"You had some very serious round-ligament pain, Hermione," she told me slowly. I widened my eyes. I'd heard of that term before.
"You mean... my uterus..."
"Your uterus was having difficulty making room for the baby. Your ligaments were stretching and thickening too much to accomodate room for your child, so you immediately felt the pain each time you did some sort of sharp movement."
I closed my eyes. "Is the baby okay?"
"Your baby is fine."
I sighed in intense relief. I wouldn't be able to handle it if my unborn child wasn't okay. "So they were just sharp pains?"
"Sharp pains due to too much activity. You should have been able to handle the pain but, say, if you take a long walk or are to active in anything which requires exercise, you would feel the pain more. Are you doing too much activity, Hermione?"
I winced, remembering that I take daily jogs around the castle. And I'm sure we all know how darn big the Hogwarts castle is. "I exercise on a daily basis," I told her guiltily. I forgot to mention that I do rounds at night and take Draco's shift sometimes, so he could be with Susie. Medi-nurse Olsen smiled.
"There's nothing wrong with that Hermione, but you need to minimize your work outs, now that you're pregnant." I nodded. I would do anything not to feel that much pain again. "And to add insult to injury, your baby was stomping up a storm in your poor stomach," she said apologetically.
Ah-ha! I knew the kid was kicking me too much! I restrained myself from pumping a fist, 'cause my motherly instincts were growing like wild fire, but I doubt that would impress Medi-nurse Olsen. "I had a feeling my bab was kicking me too much," I said instead. "Was that the pain I felt a while ago?"
She laughed softly again. "Yes. You're baby was kicking at your kidneys. It's really rather painful, but it's common for pregnant woman to feel that." I sighed in great relief. So I was okay. Thank Merlin!
"So that's it? Should I be taking any medication?"
"Madame Pomfrey's already put you on jelly legs, so you won't be able to walk around for a while. And we've magically enlarged your uterus for you, so you won't have to deal with the pain for too long. If you feel sore, it's because the uterus is still growing, so try not to move." I winced.
"So I'm to stay here for the whole day?" I wasn't too pleased about this. I'm definitely not the type of person who likes to sit around and not do any work. Or not read!
She nodded, standing up and backing away. "Yes. And by the way, you had many people waiting for you when you arrived here, but they were sent off. They're all in class right now, but I've informed them that you're okay, and can come whenever they have the time."
My eyes widened in disbelief. "I was out for two days!"
Medi-nurse Olsen chuckled. "Oh yeah. It's understandable."
I crossed my arms and shimmied myself deep into the blanket. "I suck at being pregnant," I muttered. Medi-nurse Olsen just laughed and gave me one last smile, as she left the room. I patted my belly and stared at it hard. Making sure she was finally gone, I began to speak to my baby.
"Alright, are you going to keep this up?" I asked my child. No response but a soft grumble. I knew it was probably because I hadn't eaten in two days but I took it as response none the less.
"Right, well, until I give birth to you, no more pains!" Another low grumble. I smiled. "You'll be giving your Father and I a very hard time." My stomach stayed still. "But I promise we'll do our best." The baby kicked me softly, but I didn't wince.
I closed my eyes, as I let the sudden urge to sleep overcome me. Without much effort, I drifted off into a very comfortable sleep, in which I dreamt the perfect baby, with the perfect family, with a Father and a Mother who loved their child dearly. It was as my eyes flickered to sleep that I realized my child would definitely have both.
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"Hermione, wake up, wake up, wake up!" My eyes snapped open as I was dragged up by two very strong arms. I couldn't even set them loose so I could bring my hands to my eyes so I could rub them. What time was it for goodness sake?
"What do you want?" I groaned, as I tried to pull the blanket back over me. It was snatched away immediately, and I sighed, giving up.
"You're okay!" two boys cheered, and I recognized them as my two very over-protective best friends. I smiled at them, no matter how disappointed I was that they had ruined my dream. "Hoorah! Praise Merlin!"
"You better praise Merlin that you're not dead yet, 'cause you would be right now if I weren't pregnant," I said. They laughed at me, and sat down on either end of me on the bed so that I was in between them. They snuggled themselves into my blanket, and I didn't mind a bit.
"You scared us," Ron said, leaning his head on my shoulder. "Try not to do it again, eh?"
"Like I can help it or not," I laughed breathily. "What time is it?"
"Later afternoon. Pretty sunny outside. Too bad you had to miss a day like this," Harry said. I sighed. Very true. "But you're lucky we found something for you," he grinned, holding up a flower the size of his palm in his two fingers. It looked so delicate.
"You guys got me a flower!" I oozed, taking it from them. They grinned sheepy boy grins as if presenting their mother with a gift. I sniffed it and smiled. "It's so pretty."
"Like you and your big round belly!" Ron said, rubbing it enthusiastically. Harry chuckled.
"Are you calling me fat, Ronald?" I scolded amusingly.
"Anything but!" he said, jumping up from the bed. Harry followed suit. "Have you noticed the gifts yet?" he asked, going over to the table that stood in front of my bed. He ran a hand across them all, and I only just noticed the gifts that lay there. There could have been a hundred or so.
"Those are all for me?" I asked, astounded. My eyes swept them quickly. I thought I saw mounds and mounds of chocolate and pastries straight from Madame Puddifoots. My mouth watered just a tad.
"Indeed they are!" Harry said. I could tell that they were trying to make me feel better, although there was no need, because just the thought of knowing that my baby was okay was good enough for me.
"These are from Parvati and Lavender," Ron said, holding up a bouqet of flowers, "this is from Colin and Dennis," he continued, picking up a picture frame with a baby in his mothers arms, looking up curiously in my eyes, "this right here is from Ginny, she knew you'd like it," he said, while presenting a box of Honeydukes deluxe chocolates. I sighed. They were all so wonderful!
I eyed something particularily beautiful to the side, slightly hidden by the other presents, as if done purposefully. It looked square and hard and almost like a slighty fat brick, but I was mistaken. I smiled unknowingly. "Who's that book from?" I asked suddenly.
Ron and Harry looked at each other and shrugged. "That would be from Malfoy," Harry said, while picking it up and giving it to me. I took it and read the words that were stamped to the books cover. 'Reasons Why This Baby Will Love You and So Much More,' it said. I grinned and hugged it, holding it close to my heart. It seemed like a wonderful book.
"Want to see the other presents?" Ron asked, while sitting at the edge of my bed. I shook my head no.
"I'll open the rest later," I said. They nodded. "So... what happened guys?" I asked them both, while cradling the book in my arms. I wanted to dive in and just read it, but my curiosity to find out what had happened to me had suddenly surfaced. My best friends exchanged guilty looks.
"We're sorry, Hermione," Ron burst, pleading in front of me. I gave him a confused look. "For once, it wasn't Malfoy's fault, but ours. See, he asked us to watch over you while he was gone - you know - getting ready for his date and all - "
"He wanted you to spy on me?" I asked incredulously. I knew he would have done something like that. "Even though I asked him not to?"
"It's not his fault!" Ron continued, "It was the right thing to do. But, he asked us to watch over you while he was gone, like I said, but Harry called for a Quidditch meeting last minute when we found out that Roberts got a cold from swimming in the lake too much!"
"But it wasn't like we were just going to leave you - we would never! We owled Ginny to do it since she left the team and wouldn't be with us but it seems the owl came to her just short of when you arrived here at the hospital! If we had known that you were in pain we never would have called a meeting with the team!"
My eyes were wide at their sudden burst of guilt. I sort of raised a crooked eyebrow, wondering why they would ever blame this on themselves, when it was definitely my fault for not listening to Draco and getting help or having someone look after me.
"Harry, Ron," I said, giving them an assuring smile, "it's okay. It's not your fault. I'm fine, see?" I said. "If anything, it was mine because I didn't listen to Draco and do something about my pains."
Ron acted as if he hadn't heard me. He looked down at the floor while Harry examined the ceiling. "We're sorry, Hermione. It won't happen again," they said. I sighed and rolled my eyes.
"Okay, fine. This was entirely your fault, but I forgive you both." What they wanted to hear.
They looked up and smiled. "Wonderful!" they cheered, attacking me with hugs. I fell back onto the bed, and I grinned. What two idiots I have as best friends. "You wait till everyone gets the news that you're okay. We'll throw you a Baby Shower!"
I nodded, agreeing to anything. But suddenly Draco was on my mind. "Why hasn't Draco visited?" I asked, as if insulted. They both shrugged, obviously confused as to why I cared.
"He was here for the whole weekend. But he had to go to class and we forced him to rest. Contrary to me and Ron's beliefs, he's sort of an okay guy." I grinned hugely.
"Sorry? I didn't catch that." Harry glared at me and I knew not to push it. "But he'll be here later?"
Ron laughed. "He's probably here now, now that we've left him alone. He snuck out of his bed, for sure."
My eyes widened, knowing that maybe Draco was here. I wanted to see him so bad. "Could you bring him? I'd like to thank him for the book," I said.
"Sure," Ron said, thinking nothing of it. "Besides, Harry and I have to go to Quidditch practice right about now. We just wanted to see you. We'll tell Malfoy he can come and see you if we pass by or something."
I nodded. Good enough. "Okay. Thank you guys both so much for my wonderful flower!" They grinned again, as they watched me flatten it within the book Draco gave me. I magically attached it behind the front cover, and kept it there as a display everytime I opened the book.
"We'll check up on you after practice, Hermione," Ron said, while walking out the door. "Rest, okay?" I sighed, having heard that reminder at least fifty times now. I watched them walk out the door and out of the Hospital Wing. I saw them out the window as they walked back to the school, over to the Quidditch pitch. I smiled, somehow missing my boys already.
"Geesh," I suddenly heard, as someone emerged from a quiet corner in the room. I gasped. If the voice hadn't been soft, I probably would have accidentally popped the baby out of me. "Took you guys long enough."
I grinned hugely, taking in the sight of Draco walking towards me carrying a heavy bag of books and papers. "You were here the whole time?"
"Yeah. I snuck out right after they left me and followed them here. I entered the other way and sat outside the door for a while. When I knew they were leaving I just walked in and sat down."
"Sneaky," I commented, while trying not to show how happy I was that he was here now. "I'm sorry if I scared you earlier," I apologized, remembering slightly how badly he was panicking as he brought me here.
"You definitely terrified me," he said truthfully, while pulling up a stray chair to sit beside the bed, "and I agree with Weasley. Try not do it again." he smiled at me crookedly, and for a second time, my baby might have popped out from under me.
"I'll try," I said, trying to please him.
He nodded and smirked at the book he gave me. "You like the book, do you?"
"Ah, how I love it," I said, while hugging it. He looked pleased that I appreciated it so much and I thought he may have even blushed. I ignored it, and opened it up, flipping a few pages. "It's wonderful."
"Yeah - it has lots of stuff in there... diagrams, information, even a list of names."
I could tell he was trying to ease a silence that would definitely be coming, and I smiled at his effort "Thank you so much," I said meaningfully. He nodded and so did I. Then the silence lapsed. Was there something he wanted to tell me?
"So... listen," he said, scratching the back of his head. So I was right! "I'm really sorry about leaving you for Susie... I knew I shouldn't have but I completely ignored al the signs. It was idiotic and selfish and I don't mind if you're mad at me. Just know that it won't happen again."
I sighed. "So you think it's your fault?"
"Kinda... yeah... a lot."
"Well so do Ron and Harry and so do I and probably so does Ginny, and probably half the school for not taking a second look, but I don't care," I said, holding on to the book tighter. "It was no ones fault. Not Ron's, not Harry's, Ginny's yours or mine." Though I did sort of feel as if it were mine.
He smiled. "Sure. If you say so," he said. And I think he meant it.
"It was unfortunate, but we made it through, didn't we?"
"We sure did," he said, rubbing my belly. And then we were silent again, although this one was a much more different silence. We weren't saying a word, though our eyes were speaking a fluent tongue to one another every second. Regretfully, I tore my eyes away.
"What happened with Susie?" I asked, remembering that he had a date with her before I went to the hospital.
He nodded slowly and pursed his lips. "She dumped me," he said, acting as if he didn't care. My eyes widened and I guilt washed all over me.
"What!"
"Yeah... in all the rush, I sort of forgot to tell her we would have to cancel our date... and I stood her up."
I gave him a very sad, apologetic look. It was all my fault! "Oh Draco... I'm so, so, so, sorry...!"
"No," he said, waving a hand, "it's okay. We were a short term thing anyways. I knew we would be."
"How did she take it?" I said, doing very well at hiding my hidden happiness at their break up. Don't get me wrong though - I was still definitely sorry!
"Oh," he said uneasily, "she... let's say we haven't spoken since," he said. I nodded, feeling very guilty though relieved at the same time. Why? I think I knew.
"I'm sorry," I said.
"Don't be," he replied, with a true smile. I nodded.
"Look at us, apologizing as if we both did something wrong."
"I know," he said, chuckling a little. "Besides, I would ditch her anyday to be with you and our baby." My spirit soared like it had never soared before, but I hid it with a life of my shoulders.
"What's in the bag?" I said, jerking my chin towards the sack he set on his lap before he sat down beside my bed. He looked at it, having forgotten about it, and smiled.
"Are they books? Oh, tell me they're books!" I pleaded while trying to change the subject. I felt very miserable if I didn't have something with me to read.
"Even better," he said, bringing the bag up. He set it down in front of me, and I peered into it. "Homework," he declared. I raised my eyebrows, and smiled none the less.
"Homework!" I chirped fakely, emptying the bag. The parchments spilt out one by one in front of me, and I could tell I had a lot of work ahead of me. "Wow."
"Yeah - it seems the professors have gone temporarily insane and have given us a record amount of homework. How unfortunate that it's around the time you're out sick!" he teased.
I glared playfully. "You probably hid some of your own homework in here just so I could do it," I countered. He shrugged.
"What can I say? I'm sneaky, as you said."
I slapped him on the arm. "Are you going to help me do this homework or what, pal? 'Cause if you don't, the minute I get out of here, I'll be storming up my usual rant - except worse," I threatened, while narrowing my eyes. And as if on reflex, Draco jumped up and began picking up papers.
"What would you like finished? Transfiguration or Arithmancy first? I say we do the hard ones then the easy ones." I grinned, knowing we were back at our usual routine.
"Arithmancy," I said.
"If you say so."
And as if the last two days had never happened, we did our homework like usual and fought and played and yelled, hoping that the rough times would always end with something like this. I knew that no matter how many hard things came our way, we would still be able to withstand it, and we would strengthen with the arrival of our baby. I also knew, as I took in his scent and savoured every word we spoke to each other, that I was falling for him - a little too hard.
"Stop covering the textbook Hermione - for Merlin's sake, how fat are you now?" Draco teased. I smacked him.
Why was I falling for him again?
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To be continued...
A/N: Gushes, gushes, gushes. What a corny, cheerful chapter, no? Ha. Okay. But I sort of liked it! But aren't you praising me now? I made Hermione admit that she had feelings for Draco! How wonderful, no? But this chapter seemed a little too happy for me... didn't it seem that way for you? Don't worry - the rough times should be kicking in sooner or later. Review? I would love you too!
Much love and tons of kisses,
Sevengee/Lina.