Chapter 3

Disclaimer: We only own the chibi versons of ourselves, while everyone else belongs to their respective companies.-Soultail Omega-Light

Mr. Mxyzptlk had gotten the nervous walk down to a fine art as he made his way toward Clement's security gate. He was on edge; the poor straw he was holding was almost twisted beyond use.(Chibi Mr. Mxy- Hey, I can't help being nervous like that because that's alot of responsibilites on my part)Out of the other Authors, he was the brains of the operation and therefore, meant that anything that does go wrong, falls right into his lap (mainly because the others were simply lazy with the paper work, airplanes are much more fun)(Kinda makes you think of X on his bad day at work, eh?-Chibi Soultail. Mr. Mxy-that's true).

So far, Clement Rage had taking his security job very seriously.(very much like Zero Omega-Wily.-Chibi Soultail. Chibi Axl-tell me about it.)He had gotten the racers in with hardly any problems from the fan girls, unless they counted Soultail and her rather embarrassing full sized poster of Janos that she desperately needed autograph by him. A painted yellow and black boom gate covered the service driveway, permitting entry only to food trucks, mechanical trucks for Soultail and television crews, how the Spirit World managed to actually get a TV station was beyond Mr. Mxy.

The metallic pole however was being held by a black demon that looked more likely to wrap it around some poor sod's head then anything else. Clement met Mxyzptlk with a roll of the eyes at seeing the little straw.(Chibi Clement Rage- Sheesh, this guy needs to relax.)

'Clement, if you're done here, can you make your way up to the boxes and make sure that Ferret hasn't re-decorated the Announcer's box to the color of a hideous pink.'

'Sure, and mate, relax, will ya, nothing is going to get past these gates while I'm in charge.' Clement replied confidently.(Chibi Soultail- want to bet on that, CR?)

As Clement walked away with his head held high, Mr. Mxy could have sworn he saw a group of small blue men, all wearing tartan kilts run under the demon's boom gate, screaming at the top of their lungs,

'Nac Mac Feegle!'

Mr. Mxy shook his head and made a mental note never to accept another of FFF's special cocktails again.(Chibi Mr. Mxy- really, I need to drink something else rather than FFF's cocktails. Chibi Soultail-Sake! LOL)

Clement reached the top boxes in record speed. The door to Fantastic Flying Ferret's box was wide open. Clement approached the tiny room with caution, there was no telling what could come flying out of that woman's room, literally, you learn that by experience. Clement braced himself for the worst and stepped into the doorway. When nothing hit him square in the face, he carefully opened one eye to take a peek at the sight before him. What he saw almost made him laugh out loud in humor.

Ferret was spinning around on her chair, somehow sipping on a Pina Colada and hadn't noticed him standing in the door. It was a sure fire way to tell that the girl was bored out of her mind with the lack of entertainment that is going on at that moment. Propped up amongst all the microphones and closed circuit TVs, was a very thick block of wood that she carried with her everywhere that had this inscription burnt onto it:

In case of Emergency,

Whack forehead against this here block

In order to Re-Boot memory.

Clement cleared his throat loudly to get her attention, causing Ferret to almost fall off of her chair, quite literally. Clement couldn't help it, but he laughed out loud the sight before him. FFF stood up from her chair and glared at him, hands on her hips.

'Clement, don't you ever do that again.' She growled in warning to hurt him permanently.

'Sure thing, Ferret.' Clement snickered within his breath.

FFF sat back down on her chair with a huff of indignation and pride, crossing her arms.

'Can I help you?' She asked, clearly annoyed with him.

'Mxy sent me up here to make sure everything's fine.' Clement replied, puffing himself up with evident pride.(Chibi Clement Rage- at least, she got my personality right, though.)

Ferret raised an eyebrow at him, and rolled her green eyes for effect. She spun around to look at the multitude of TV screens in front of her as a part of surveillance.(Chibi FFF- one of these day, CR, I will kill you slow and painful.)

'So far, so good, but you might want to patrol the area around the Eidos box. We don't want any unfortunate accidents to happen, if enraged LoK fans somehow find their way in there.' Ferret said in a voice almost worthy of Kain to show respect and honor towards.

Clement decided that now would be a great time to back out of the room, slowly and carefully before she decides to jump on top of him and beat the living crap out of him.

Down on the track, the racers were standing by their respective carts, either looking apprehensive at the crowd or in the case of Raziel, clearly enjoying all the attention. Kain, on the other hand, was leaning on the barrier, shaking his head in disgust and thinking, a) what in all seven hells possessed me to do this, and b) being a Wraith was clearly starting to go to Raziel's head.(Chibi Soultail: tell me about it. Sigh)

'Hey, Mister, can we have some popcorn?'

'Bugger off, kid.'

Kain spun around and came face to face with Lil Ctec munching on a bag of coloured popcorn, which he almost dropped in surprise.

'Now, forgive me if I'm wrong, but are you not suppose to sell what you call food, not eat it?' Kain smirked at the commentary he made at Lil Ctec.

Lil Ctec turned bright crimson in the face department.

'I'm quality control testing!' He huffed and marched away in indignation and pride, as quickly as he could.(Chibi Lil Ctec-What? What is wrong with my job of testing the quality control on the food before selling them to customers.)

Kain shook his head again. He was beginning to think that the five young authors had fallen out of their trees a very long time ago.(Chibi Authors:(indignantly) Hey!)

The males within crowd had started wolf whistling as Mr. Mxy turned up to the track and almost screamed in fright.(Chibi Soultail- What? what is wrong, Mr. Mxyzptlk?)It had nothing to do with there now being a wraith, a few vampires and two members of the Circle standing on the starting grid. In fact, everyone was acting in almost the same way as Mxy, unless you counted on Rahab that Mxy believed was adding to the whistles of the male population, like a pack of wolves. Mortanius looked almost horrified, standing in his driving jacket and goggles, Moebius had actually dropped his staff in surprise and shock, as well as his mouth, Raziel looked like he was trying to hide his face within the cowl as much as he could so that he can't see the scene that was before him, Janos was well hidden behind his feathered wings for the sake of dignity and modesty, Kain stood frozen to the spot in two minds of what to do, his hand hovering above to Reaver's hilt, ready to kill the Pit crew with his sword, just to save his sanity and his modesty, as well.

Vorador, very fortunately, had his wits about him and strided over to the shocked Mxy.

'Can you please do something about her, Mr. Mxyzptlk?' He growled.

Mr. Mxy shook his head, the straw was now in danger of snapping in two.

'I can't.'

'What do you mean, you can't? Just get her to put some clothes on, man!'

Mxy had to do a double take at who he was talking to before continuing with his explaination.

'I mean, she doesn't listen to me, normally, it's only Fantastic Flying Ferret, who can knock some type of sense in to that thick skull of hers, but she's all the way up there and about to start the commentary!'

Vorador just growled and went back to his cart. If you haven't guessed by now, the cause of the distraction was, of course, Soultail Omega-Light, who had come out for the pre-race check in a pair of roller-skates and for some un-known reason to everyone's mind, a hot pink bikini. Mr. Mxy held his clipboard upto his face, trying not to look directly at Soul as they both walked (in Soul's case, rolled) around, checking the racer's carts complied to the rules.(Chibi Soultail-opps! Sweatdrops)

After they had completed the checks, Mxy pushed Soul off the track, who found it, in her grace, to wave and giggle at the crowd as a way to end the procedures.

'The both of us have to go easy on Ferret's cocktails.'

As that statement was out of Mxy's mouth, FFF's voice crackled to life in the speakers.

'Yes, well, that was different. Thank you for that…ah, display of talent there, Soultail.'

Mxy slapped his forehead in embarrassment as Soultail hic-coughed next to him like a stupid drunk that drank several cases of beer a few minutes ago. The racers didn't share the same compliments (beside Rahab that was clapping enthusiastically at the performance displayed by Soul). Ferret's voice crackled over the PA again.

'Welcome to the new and improved Elder Raceway, which Squidman has been kind enough to line for us again.'

Raziel would have smiled at the commentary if he still had a bottom jaw, yet he agreed with Ferret's nickname for his so called "master."

'Along the track will be obstacles, other than the squid's tentacles, which the racers must avoid, if and when they attack. There are water ditches (all vampires, except for Rahab for he is a water-like being, cringed at the sound of those traps she had mention before) and ramps that can either be an advantage or disadvantage to the drivers, depending on the situation they are in. There are little treats that the racers can pick up to heed their opponents, oil cans for a nice slick and somewhere, a box of bombs that have been modified to only harm the cart, never fear.'

All the racers looked a little disappointed at the sound of theannouncement.

'There are treats that will increase the speed of the cart for a short time. Blood globs(for the vampires), Soul Orbs(for Raziel)and the Sarafan Symbol, will increase the speeds ,while an hourglass will slow you down to the speed of a land tortoise. Now that information is out of the way, its time to introduce our brave racers!'

The crowd screamed a little louder.

'First of all, a big round of applause to the Circle of Nine for agreeing to sponsor this fun event. We even have eight of the Guardians in complete attendance today!'

While Moebius and Mortanuis waved to the cheers of the crowd, miles away, Ariel huffed in indignation, watching the TV screen that someone had been very kind enough to place by the Balance pillar.

'Yes, well, Miss Ferret, I would be completely honored being there, if I wasn't bound for all eternity to a bloody stupid pillar!' Ariel muttered under her breath while continuing watching the race.

'Without further ado, the racers as follows, please, folks, a big hand for: Janos Audron, Vorador, 4th Lieutenant Rahab, Moebuis, Mortanuis, Raziel and Kain!'

The crowd was on their feet, cheering up a storm.

'Please, welcome to the track to officially start the race, Lil…Umah? Umah, everybody.' Ferret scratched her head in confusion.

Mxy's voice sounded in her headphones.

'What the hell is she doing there?'

'Good question, but let's just roll with it.' Ferret shrugged her shoulders, covering her microphone, holding her microphone with one of her hands, like Alia from Megaman X5.

Umah walked on the track, wearing not much more than Soul in the clothing department, but let's just say, this time, Vorador wasn't complaining to this arrangement. She held a purple scarf in one hand.

'Gentlemen, start your engines.' She cried out loud to the racers and the crowd.

The crowd's cheers mixed in with the roar of the engines starting. Holding the scarf above her head, Umah looked over the racers and with a little smile, dropped her hand……

Raziel was the first one off the grid, closely followed by Vorador, as they all rocketed down the first straight.(Chibi Soultail- Team Rocket-style! giggles stupidly.)

'And off they GO, heading for the first drop!'

Yes, that's right, drop, not turn. Raziel reached it first, and would have lost his stomach, if he had one. The light carts glided over the first ditch of water and hit the dirt hard, the racers, now screamed down the first of the annoyingly long turns. Kain over took both Raziel and Vorador, causing both of them to swear like a couple of drunken sailors, and Ferret to hit the mute button just to keep her ears in tact and the censorship at a low rating. Rahab directed his cart to the very top of the turn and started to drift right around the edge. Rahab past Raziel with a smirk.

'See you at the end of the race, Big Brother!' He laughed.

Raziel's eyes flashed for the moment with amusement as he spotted something his brother had not.

'If you ever get to the end, Little Brother!' Raziel cried, as he went around the corner.

A collective gasp went through the crowd.

'Oh, I don't care what universe you're from, but that's gotta hurt!' Ferret's voice rang through the speakers.

'Clement and Soultail are down there with our first racer to get a little too close to the squid's tentacles.'

When Clement and Soultail reached Rahab's crash site, they found him having a little fit.(Chibi Soultail- that's an understatement, FFF. He's literally pissed off!)He had thrown his helmet at the wall, where it was now wedged, and was jumping up and down furiously on top of his stricken cart. Both Authors were sitting the back of the Ute(Utility vehicle in shorten terms to understand for us Americans), playing go fish, waiting for the vampire to get over his fit was a bit more safer than intervening with the situation at that time.

The race continued with Kain, still enjoying a large lead as he went down the second drop and barely missed the water, drops spaying up and stinging his back like hydrochloric acid. He cursed, ran into a blood glob and sped off at break neck speed. Raziel sailed effortlessly over it and landed on an hourglass, slowing him down to John like speeds.

'Oh, now, this is so completely unfair.' He muttered.

Janos used his wings to his advantage; if they weren't going to fit into the cart properly, they damn well had a better use to the situation. He glided over the water and Raziel, eventually finding Kain and the S bends. Vorador, on the other hand, landed right in the water. He ditched the cart and screamed like a rabid fangirl at a Britney Spears concert, just as Moebuis and Mortanuis sailed over head, both snickering at the burnt vampire in despair. Vorador ran to where Soultail and Clement were waiting for him with towels and a disgruntled Rahab sat in the back of the Ute, muttering very ill profanities under his breath.

'At the start of the second lap, Kain is in the lead, followed closely by Janos. Third place is currently occupied by Moebuis. Battling for fourth is Mortanuis and Raziel.'

The five remaining racers hit the S bends that was currently used as a remnant crossing. Janos hit a ramp and used his wings again to get ahead of Kain. Kain either from being annoyed that the ancient was in front of him a few moments ago or just because he felt like it, held the reaver out in his right hand and took the head off one of the nearest remnants that didn't disappear fast enough.

Seeing Kain's use of the reaver, Moebuis grabbed his staff with a wicked grin on his ugly face. The staff instantly crippled the two vampires ahead of him. Laughing uncontrollably like an insane person that he is, Moebuis easily took the lead.

The crowd booed in out rage. Lil Ctec threw a few bags of uneaten popcorn in the air to vent his feelings towards the situation he just saw up to that moment. Kids dived for the bags like it was money to them. Ferret covered the microphone again with her hand and hissed to Mxy.

'Is he allowed to do that?' She asked.

As if by magic, Mxy's nose was pressed against the rule book quicker than you could blink.

'Ok, at the start of the Third and final lap, Moebius is in the lead, followed by a murderous looking Kain and a very annoyed Janos. Still battling for fourth is Mortanius and Raziel.' FFF cried over the booing crowd.

Raziel was beginning to get as frustrated as if trying to solve his one thousandth block puzzle.

'I've had enough of this.' He muttered and switched to spectral.

Mortanuis saw this, and not wanting to let the wraith get to ahead of him that easily, followed close behind.

'Everyone switch to the Spirit Vision screens in front of you to watch the action in Wobbly World!' Ferret cried into her microphone, one eye on her screens.

'Wobbly World?' She heard Lil Ctec spoke into her headphones in a questioning tone on his voice.

'Don't ask.' She replied unto him.

A family of Slaugh were watching the race on their TV, munching on Soul popcorn. Somehow, they did get a crystal clear reception down there. They were so engrossed with the television set that they didn't even notice when both Raziel and Mortanuis sped right behind their couch.

When they appeared in the material world, they were greeted with Ferret's voice, saying unto them,

'Hi, welcome back and you're still in fourth place.'

'Ah, #!$!' Raziel said.

Ferret was getting a little sick of bleeping out their colourful language with her remote control that she literally didn't care about censorship anymore. Moebuis crossed the line first and had to jump out of the way before Kain accidentally/on purpose ran into the back of him. Kain was out of his cart in a flash, reaver out and ran at Moebuis. Soultail found her way in between them, used as Moebuis's body shield to protect him from the attack that Kain was about to inflict upon him.

Soul held her hands up, her eyes were very wide as she happened to be on the wrong end of Kain's rage.

'Hey, whoa, it ain't my fault this time! Put the sword down and nobody, namingly me, gets hurt permanently!' Soultail pleaded unto him in fear.(Chibi Soultail-AHHHHH!)

It slowed Kain down a micro bit. Soul closed her eyes very tight and wrapped her twelve fluffy fox tails around her body in hopes of protecting herself from the sword. Janos landed between Kain and the frightened Soul just in the nick of time.

'Kain, that's really not going to help by just trying to kill him while he is holding onto Soultail like that. Just leave it up to the authors, they'll sort it all out towards the end.' Janos reasoned with him like a true diplomat.

Janos grabbed Soultail's hand, after he snatched her from Moebius' grip, thus, leading her over to the others. She just about fainted, twice. Lil Ctec smiled and shyly offered her his last popcorn bag to help calm her down, while Clement threw her a blanket to wrapped up in as a way to comfort herself from the situation she had found herself in a few moments ago, as well as for modesty sake in everyone's eyesight.

Ferret and Mxy, along with the rule book and microphone, walked out of the stands and stood on a hastily put together podium.(Chibi Authors- What!)Mr. Mxy cleared his throat nervously, he could feel Kain's hard stare on his back. Ferret, on the other hand, turned around, smiled seductively and waved. That took Kain by complete surprise, but he still didn't lower the reaver from Moebuis's throat.

'After close examination of the rules, I have decided that Moebuis is to be disqualified for cheating. That makes Kain jump upto First place.' Mr. Mxy announced unto the crowd.

Only now did Kain lower the sword to thunderous applause from the crowd. Ferret happily skipped over, holding her long baby pink skirt above her knees, to the others, followed by Mr. Mxy, who was watching Moebuis out of the corner of his eye.

'Well, this calls for one of my cocktails as a major celebration.' FFF called cheerily.

'I'll pass on that, FFF.' Mr. Mxy replied, climbing into the Ute.

Ferret shrugged, handing out real 'Bloody' Mary's and Pina Coladas.

'More for us, then.' She replied cheerfully.

'Ferret, I'm very curious, how did you get the Elder to let you call him Squid the whole time during the race?' Raziel asked, leaning his back against the Ute.

Ferret smiled slyly towards him.(Chibi FFF-snickers evilly at the thought of her real self explaining what she did to Elder God in the next few seconds.)

'I gave him a mirror.' She replied unto him.

Chapter By: Fantastic Flying Ferret.