\This is so random even I'm kinda confused
Another Chapter
"Are these chains really necessary?" FFF asked irritably as Mr. Mxy turned the key. He shook his head sadly.
"Sorry girls, we don't want you going hyper on us again. Ariel has powerful friends-not to mention lawyers. Now shut up or we'll put you in Moebius' lap next time."
Soultail, FFF, and TBT exchanged horrified glances, and said in perfect unison "We'll be good."
"I thought you would." Mr. Mxy smirked and walked off. Or at least tried to. He tripped over a loose chain and fell out the window. Luckily, he landed in a puddle on the track, close to where Clement Rage was getting ready to start the race. FFF sighed and picked up her microphone.
"Ladies, Gentlemen, and Miscellaneous, welcome to another edition of Kain Karts. We have another exciting race due for you today, live on our newly built Pillars of Nosgoth course! Now, the race is about to begin, so I don't have time to introduce the contestants or the course, so take it away, guys!"
Clement had taken on the duty of race starter today in addition to his security duties. He was carrying with difficulty a huge gun, easily the height of himself.
"On your marks!" He screamed, bracing himself against the ground.
"Get set!" He put in his earplugs.
"Go!" He fired. Unfortunately, the missile missed its target-the sky, which was generally considered fairly easy to hit- and roared into the stand instead, blowing to pieces Harold's brand new popcorn maker, which he'd only bought yesterday.
"Oh that is IT!" Harold screamed, leaping out of the stand, glaring. "Do you know how much that cost!?" He ran over to a glass panel labeled 'Emergency popcorn making kit" and threw it at Clement, knocking him out. The racers looked on interestedly.
Mr. Mxy sighed. "Hey, somebody get him off the track!" He tried to drag Clement away, but drew back as Demon security guards barred his way.
"We'd better get him off the track, we're running late." TBT noted worriedly.
Soultail grinned evilly. "I have an idea." Taking the microphone, she screamed into it "DANGNABBIT TO THE DEEPEST PITS OF HECK!"
Below, Clement sat bolt upright, his face a mask of terror. "AAAAAAAGGGGHHHH! Angry Texans! The worst kind!" He sprinted away, leaving a roadrunner-esque plume of dust in his wake. FFF took her mike back and resumed commentating.
"I don't think he's coming back, folks. Luckily, we have a replacement Author on call. Give it up, folks, for the one, the only...King Ottmar!"
A giant chicken walked in wearing Ottmar's crown. Mr. Mxypttlk was aghast.
"WHAT? IT'S A GIANT CHICKEN!" The chicken squawked.
"Oh, Pipe down!" FFF said, raising her voice to drown out his shrieks of rage. "As I was saying, please welcome-"
"I'M TELLING YOU-"
"Squawk!"
"-Our newest Author, king Ottmar, famed for his treatise on-"
"-IT'S A-
THE NATURE OF THE UNIVERSE, WHERE HE SAID-"
"Buc-caw!"
"EXCELLENT POINT. NOW IT'S TIME-"
"-GIANT CHICKEN!"
"-FOR THE RACE TO BEGIN!"
The racers screamed away from the track. The wind of their passage knocked
the crown from the chickens head. Everyone gasped. The racers ended up in a six car pile up at the first corner.
Voice over: He wears a disguise,
To look like human guys,
But he's not a man,
He's a chicken-boo.
"O...kay..." FFF said carefully. "That was weird."
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Chapter by: Clement Rage