Cat Scratch: The Story of Mimi Marquez

Chapter Eight: All That I've Got

A few hours later, after Angel had confirmed that I was really okay, Angel went to go meet his newly found lover, Collins and I decided to go back to bed. I was really tired, and still feeling a little bit down.

When I woke up, I lit up a cigarette and sat perched on the stair leading towards the biggest let down of my life-Roger. I looked out into the city and was extremely shocked when I saw Roger hurrying away from the building, looking very distressed.

This meant the loft was empty, and before I realized what I was doing, I quietly crept upstairs. I gently pushed on the door of their fire escape. I knew how easy it was to break into a New York City apartment, and although the thought was usually very unsettling, I found comfort in it now. When I was finally inside the loft, I looked around, trying to figure out where Roger's room would most likely be located. I saw a guitar case in the doorway in one of three rooms and decided that it would be my best bet.

I walked hurriedly towards my destination knowing that I didn't have much time-They could return any time. I paused for a second when I saw a photograph of Roger-on stage, looking happier than I ever imagined possible for him. This aroused my already overwhelming curiosity-I needed to somehow find out why he was so down, and why he had stopped letting people in. I knew he had a friend-girlfriend, who had died, but I was also smart enough to know that there was more to it than that.

I was surprised at how clean and organized this room was, in comparison to the loft. My eyes instantaneously went to a brown leather bound book sitting on a shelf. I picked it up, and one quick look confirmed that it was what I thought it was-Roger's journal.

I read over a few entries, some hateful words about his parents and Benny, a 900 accurate account of a bad heroin trip, a few mushy entries about his deep passionate love for April. I read on, skimming for anything that may be of interest. I turned a page, and was surprised when a rough looking piece of paper fluttered towards the ground.

My hand shook as I picked it up. I somehow knew that this was what I was looking for. I looked down at the page, and noticed a different writing than Roger's. It was more feminine, but it was written hurriedly, and I could see what looked like little drops of…blood? I almost fainted when I read the words on the paper.

"WE'VE GOT AIDS. SORRY BABY, I CAN'T LIVE KNOWING I'M GOING TO DIE SOON. I LOVE YOU. KEEP YOUR FIRE BURNING STRONG MY LOVE."

I tried hard to stay standing, as I felt tears burning down my face. This was more than I bargained for. I wanted to know-But not this much. I quickly placed the paper back into the journal and put the journal back. I left the loft, feeling dazed.

Thousands of questions ran through my mind. "We" as in her and Roger? Did this mean that Roger was positive? Was this why Roger kept saying that his fire was out? Why had April acted so rashly, and taken her life? Who found her? Was this why Roger was afraid to let me in? I paced around my apartment until I heard a sharp knock at the door. I jumped before hurrying to answer it. I assumed it was Angel, he told me that he would be back later.

I was surprised when I saw not only Angel, but Mark and Collins too.

"Hi, I'm Mark," Mark introduced himself, " I live upstairs, with Roger. I thought that maybe you should know some things. Uhm, Roger wants you Mimi. He's been acting different since the night before last, and I think that it's because of meeting you. Roger lost his girlfriend last year-she killed herself, and Roger came home, high as kite, to discover that April had slit her wrists and left him a short note, with no explanation as to why she did what she did. Since then, he's been different. The drugs changed him, but not as much as losing April did. He won't leave the house-let alone admit to having feelings. He's in a whole "Fuck the World" faze of life right now, so be patient, let him learn to love again. Don't be overeager, but don't give up, you still have a chance. Uhm, by the way, I sort of mentioned to Roger that you'd be at Maureen's show tonight to make him leave the loft again, so would you mind coming?" He said the last bit very quickly, a hint of colour rising in his cheeks.

I wasn't sure why Mark was open about Roger, but I assumed that Roger wouldn't be too impressed if he knew Mark was telling the world his life story. I smiled slightly, still trying to take in what Mark had just told me. I nodded, "Sure, I was actually thinking about going to the protest anyways." Mark waved, and hurried upstairs, where I assumed Roger was waiting for him. Collins left soon after, but not before he and Angel shared a passionate kiss.

I gave Angel a look, one that kind of said "Tell me everything," and Angel quickly explained that after a Life Support meeting and amusing ride on the subway that she and Collins had become a couple. I squealed with excitement and hugged Angel tightly, happy that she had finally found someone who accepted her for who-what she was. Angel left a few minutes later, claiming she needed to fix up her makeup before the protest.

I took a really hot shower, and as I was washing my hair, I thought about everything that I had discovered in the last few hours. I wondered if it could really be possible for Roger to ever love me as he had loved April. When she died, she took a part of him with her, and I wondered what it would take to get that part back, because I knew that I would stop at nothing, because Mimi Marquez always gets what she wants.

After my shower, I dressed myself and prepared to leave for the protest, after of course, I made my usual stop.

When I arrived at the performance space, I found it bustling with far too many people, yet it was not difficult to notice the one I was looking for. He stood off to the side, his hands in his pockets, just as they usually were.

He acknowledged me as I moved slower, and made my request, the usual amount of smack, and a few grams of weed. Roger approached me as we made the exchange.

"Hey," I said, not really knowing what else to say. It felt akward being this close to him at the same time as my supplier. He looked at me, with an oddly nervous look in his eye,

"Can I talk to you for a second?" he asked, moving closer. I was surprised when The Man pushed Roger away from me, "Hey lover boy, steal my client, you die." I slid my drugs into my boot, and was really surprised when Roger replied.

"You didn't miss me, you won't miss her," he said, pushing The Man back. I looked at both of them, "Look around, you got plenty of customers." I decided to end this here, before it went any further than it already had, I grabbed Roger's jacket and gestured towards The Man, telling him not to worry. After we were a small distance away, I stopped and faced Roger, removing my hand from his jacket.

"Look, about last night," he paused, looking really uncomfortable. "I'm sorry. I dunno what-" he stuttted. The look that came across his face made me realize that whatever he wanted to say, was obviously not easy. So rather than causing him more pain, I cut him off.

"Just forget it." I said, shaking my head.

"I was out of line," he defended himself. He looked nervous again. "Can I make it up to you?" He asked hopefully. Fucking right you can. But instead of saying that, I decided to play difficult for a few minutes, have a bit of fun.

"How?"

"A bunch of are getting together tonight-at the Life Café, after Maureen's show." Oh my God, was he getting at what I thought he was getting at? I tried to contain my excitement, and inquired,

"Yeah…" I said, looking up at him playfully. Damn, he was sexy.

I almost laughed as I watched him struggle uncomfortably, trying to figure out what to say. "Would you like to come with me?" I tried hard not to smile now. YES!!!

"Sure." I said, looking down and smiling slightly, "I'd like that." Roger smiled at me now, damn, he had a nice smile-too bad it usually got left in his closet. He looked uncomfortable and made a signal that I read as, Okay, let's go. I almost reached for his hand, but realized that he had crossed his arms, and that I shouldn't get ahead of myself. After a few minutes of silence, I decided to start a conversation,

"So, you're a tough guy?" I asked him playfully. He almost laughed, and I jokingly shook my fists at him. 'That was pretty good," I said as we walked into The Space. I looked up at him, and when he met my eye, I found myself breathless, and giggly like a 12 year old girl who'd just had her very first kiss. I nearly melted as he placed his hand on my shoulder as he searched The Space for our friends.

"Angel!" I yelled, noticing her from across the room.

"Mimi!" I heard her reply, and Roger and I rushed across to where Mark(With his camera), Angel and Collins, were standing huddled. We talked for a few minutes, before a figure on a motorbike entered the area. Oh God, this was going to be a long night!