Chapter 13
Or as I like to call it,
Smashed.
I do not own Gorillaz, LOK, Crystal dynamics, Eidos, Fender, Dean, bumblefoot or his record lable, Virgin records or Lara craft. This random chapter is brought to you by Harold on the rocks, who's attention span and sanity are non existent.
Harold and Mr. Mxy were both leaned against a wall talking. As the grass around the track grew and the cops were finally going away after many a beating do to the elder god. All was peaceful and that last part was a lie. Except for the fact several demons had been forced to clean making the arena look spotless. FFF and TBT were both talking about Kain and Raz.
"But really though Mxy, a lot of these characters should be dead, I mean Raz should still be in a sword and Mobius was killed to, not to mention all the people killed," and with that Harold stopped talking and had his mouth wide open in shock. Mxy had looked at him puzzled and then he looked in the same direction as Harold. Standing before them was the barely dressed Umah. She looked at both of them and they both quickly shut their mouths and then Harold looked at him. "Like her, she should be dead. Yet she is right here defying rigger mortis and the game at the same time".
"Shut up kid, FFF told me where you put your guitars, and I wonder just how good a fender will burn," she threatened with venom in her voice.
"hey bitch, you forget if I toss a glass of water on you, you can kiss your bust good by," Harold told her back taking a swig from a water bottle. "now whey should we let you in?" he asked with Mxy backing away not wanting to be beaten to death by the vampire.
"I brought beer," she said pointing to the boxes of beer all stacked onto a dolly.
"your in, but I have one more question," he said.
"go for it," she told him eager to get away from the annoying child.
"I am not really sure if you can answer this but, does silicone really float," Harold asked her laughing to him self. He walked past her and rolled the dolly with it's beers into the garage. She stood there, mouth agape and fuming with anger.
"I am going to kill him," she said aloud.
Three un explainable hours later.
Double bass by Gorillaz was being blasted threw the speakers and all racers and authors were smashed.
"I hate my job," confessed the light weight elder god, his eye growing teary. "all I get to do is be mean and the eternal screams have made me partially deaf in my left ear," he sobbed.
"I didn't know he had a left ear," said FFF cuddling a little to closely with Raz. Umah was fighting over Kain with TBT. They tugged at each of his arms and he was smiling widely
"He's mine"
"He's mine"
"child"
"dead bitch"
"nerd"
"Lara craft has bigger boobs then you"
"GASP! Take that back"
and with those fights continuing Harold was still talking to a nearby tree. "You see, prefer Deans to Ibanez in the fact that of Floyd rose tremolos are a lot cooler when you have the drastic body style to back it up…" with that his rant was left to focus on Mxy and Clement rage trying to break the pop corn machine with their faces.
5 beer later
The Gorillaz disk had been over played so Harold took a break from his tree talk to pick up a new CD. He came back with a nameless CD.
"I burnt this a while back s-so don't be surprised if it has weird music on it" he told the now mellow group before setting the disk in and starting it. He was still loopy but he could tell the familiar drum solo and shred from any where.
"I CAN"T PLAY THE BLUES BY BUMBLEFOOT AWSOME," drunk or not he started singing the words and laughing at him self the whole way. All members of the drunken group were encouraging him and even Umah laughed at his goofy air guitar antics.
"watch this," kain told the group strapping a dean Vendetta 4.0 on Harold as he continued to actually play the song even though his drinking had made him stumble around as he played. The guitar was plugged in and he played with the song.
I play as fast as I can - I'm the Gingerbread Man
With a fast hand - won't ya kick me outta your band
I only play for me - I'm the king of Unity
I'm a team of one - a defective hired gun
I play like a ham, well that makes me Spam
And then I wonder why nobody ever wants to jam
Cause ya feel like a pawn in a volume war
And I'm the only one who bothers keeping score
Because I got no feel - I got no emotion
My riffs aren't real - I just go through the motions
I'm fulla tricks and trinkets that I always use
I aint got much choice - I can't play the blues
And just in case I'm in a finger race
I keep it up and I keep pretending that I win the chase
But if ya play faster than the speed of light (according to Einstein)
Ya go back in time - and end up in the 80's
With our big hair
Jackets with fringes
Stretch pants
Mascara
Choreographed kicking
You got a big laugh outta 70's disco
But you became the same by a different name
Ya forgot to change your calendar 10 years in a row
Now ya can't find the pace of the new game
I play it like a ham, yeah with lots of spice
I'm the Son Of Spam in a block of ice
Yeah, I can't lay back - I get all confused
And if I slow it down you'll see the riffs I already used
Because I got no feel - I got no emotion
My riffs aren't real - I just go through the motions
I'm fulla tricks and trinkets that I always use
I aint got much choice - I can't play the blues
Yeah I actually believe that if I wail up and down a scale
Then the world is gonna get up on their feet and yell...
"Hail Ronald! Hail Ronald!
Take your big head and go to Hail, Ronald!"
Yeah, I can't lay back - I get all confused
And if I slow it down you'll see the riffs I already used
I play like a ham, well that makes me Spam
And then I wonder why nobody ever wants to jam
Because I got no feel - I got no emotion
My riffs aren't real - I just go through the motions
I'm fulla tricks and trinkets that I always use
I aint got much choice - I can't play the blues
With the group all staring at him as he continued to play. He looked forward and asked
"whos the green guy?" and with that he fell backward and fast asleep.
"dam he ain't bad, crazy son of spam bastard" said FFF.