"Okay, Carlisle, Esme, and Edward will be judges!" said Emmett excitedly.
"Well...I'll probably regret this later, but fine." Carlisle agreed.
"Sure." Esme smiled.
Edward gave Emmett a death glare.
"Come on Edward! It'll be fun!" Bella pleaded.
"Fine." Edward said with a sigh. "Although I agree with Carlisle, I'll probably regret this…"
"Jasper you go first!" Alice squealed as she bobbed up and down with excitement.
"What? But I.."
Alice shoved him and Emmett patted him on the back. "Good luck."
Carlisle, Esme, and Edward were now all sitting side by side at the dining room table. Carlisle and Edward exchanged looks of irritation. Esme was smiling, as per usual.
"So," said Esme, playing along with the game, "Why do you want to be the next Vampire Idol?"
"Well, Alice and Emmett are kind of making me.." he said, glancing in their direction.
"What kind of an answer is that Jazz?" Alice scolded.
"Fine fine…" Jasper said, giving in. "I want to be the next Vampire Idol because…."
Everyone excluding Carlisle and Edward stared at him in anticipation.
"..because I want to prove myself and make my family proud!" he finished with conviction.
"Yay Jasper!" Alice clapped her hands.
"So what will you be singing for us today?" Carlisle asked, accent sounding eerily similar to Simon Cowell.
"I will be singing…" Jasper pondered for a moment.
"Oh God." Edward moaned, having already read the decision in Jasper's mind. Bella, Alice, and Rosalie giggled.
"Are
you gonna take me home tonight ?
Ah
down beside that red firelight
Are
you gonna let it all hang out ?
Fat
bottomed girls
You
make the rockin' world go round
Hey
I was just a skinny lad
Never
knew no good from bad
But
I knew life before I left my nursery - huh
Left
alone with big fat Fanny
She
was such a naughty nanny
Heap
big woman you made a bad boy out of me
Hey
hey!
Wooh
I've
been singing with my band
Across
the wire across the land
I
seen every blue eyed floozy on the way, hey
But
their beauty and their style
Went
kind of smooth after a while
Take
me to them dirty ladies everytime
C'mon
Oh
won't you take me home tonight ?
Oh
down beside your red firelight
Oh
and you give it all you got
Fat
bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go round
Fat
bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go round
Hey
listen here
Now
I got mortgages on homes
I
got stiffness in ma' bones
Ain't
no beauty Queens in this locality (I tell you)
Oh
but I still get my pleasure
Still
get my greatest treasure
Heap
big woman you gonna make a big man out of me
Now
get this
Oh
(I know) you gonna take me home tonight (please)
Oh
down beside that red firelight
Are
you gonna let it all hang out ?
Fat
bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go round yeah
Fat
bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go round
Get
on your bikes and ride
Ooh
yeah oh yeah them fat bottomed girls
Fat
bottomed girls
Yeah
yeah yeah
Alright,
ride 'em, c'mon
Fat bottomed girls - yes yes"
(For those wondering, the song is fat-bottomed girls by queen. It was kind of stuck in my head, so I figured Jasper should sing it. xD )
Bella and Rosalie burst into hyterics, while Alice stormed over to Jasper and slapped him across the face.
"What was that for?!" he demanded.
"If you don't know then I'm not going to tell you!" She spun on her heel and returned to Bella and Rosalie.
"So what do the judges think?" asked Bella.
Carlisle leaned forward on the table, resting his head in one hand. "Utterly horrendous. It's a no."
"Well, I didn't think it was that bad, but don't worry, I know you have many other talents." said Esme encouragingly.
Edward sighed, finally giving in to the game. "Yo, dawg, I wasn't really feeling it. And no, Jasper, don't try to make us feel all happy so we say yes. It's a no."
"Aw man…" Jasper shuffled away. Emmett laughed.
"Now, who's next?"