CHAPTER NINE
Implicating Concerns

"When one has devoted oneself to the story of the Soul and its Salvation, as I have, one recognizes similar instances; they are innumerable... she wanders, displaced, like a ghost through all the ages, taking on multiple guises, transforming herself... only rarely does the Princess appear as herself, and only when the final stages of the purification process are near completion...and she waits, unaware, for the moment of her Salvation.

But the Princess still languishes under the curse of the Witch Poisonbreath, the thunder of the evil hour still reverberates in the rubble-filled Opal Palace, and my King, shackled in leaden dream-chains, still lies in the devastated hall.

I wanted only to try to live in accordance with the promptings that came from my true self. Why was that so very difficult?"

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There were times, when she imagined very hard, that she could hear a voice welcoming home. The door clicked open and a pair of dark eyes lifted from the computer screen. Glazed and lifeless, the film of work and fatigue melted away and those eyes warmed when they found her face. A pair of blood red lips became a garnet smile.

'Did you have fun at ballet?'

"Yes mother." Kozue spoke to the darkness of the empty room.

A crack of thunder made her turn from the unseeing observation of the declining wall. She glanced back over her shoulder and glimpsed her reflection in the hallway's mirror. She remembered her time as a child when she stood in this very room and saw, in place of her own reflection, Emily's face staring back at her from that same glass. But now her image rippled and faded, and there stood her mother with her, with their arms around each other, smiling with pride. The progress of the mayhem within the city, the constant demands of her mother's corporation, whatever successes or failures awaited them in the future –it all began with her, her presence seemed to say. Whatever flimsy bit of whatever made her different from everyone around her.

But because it was fake, all that did was make her poor little Kozue. And she was no one's 'poor little thing'.

So she broke the mirror and went to bed with cuts on the back of her fingers.

Unlike usual, Yuki hadn't waited for Kyo and Tohru before leaving the house. Instead he had made apologies to Tohru and slipped out on his own as soon as he'd pulled his uniform on. He wanted to talk to Kozue. The talk he'd had with Hikaru the previous evening had only created more questions and even more curiosities. Yuki wasn't sure how many of his inquiries she'd answer, or if she'd answer any at all but he'd at least try.

The morning was overcast, huge gray clouds dimming the sun, swollen with the threat of rain. Tohru had tucked an umbrella into his school bag for him and he was relieved because he would have forgotten it otherwise. The school yard was only barely populated when he entered it, but by the time he got past students and teachers in the hallways he was the last to class.

"It seems that Miss Amatsuka will be absent today." Their teacher made only half-hearted attempt to hide his relief as he read the words on the paper.

The rest of class was, similarly, unconcerned by the implication of the words. Although, since that first day, Kozue had done nothing to antagonize either teacher or class, no one could forget that first day. Neither did they miss the air of self assurance and superiority that Kozue often affected with such ease. For this reason they often watched Amatsuka as if she were a beast in a flimsy cage. A half tamed panther that might change its mind about civilization at any moment.

"Well, then class. Open your books---Ah, yes Mr. Sohma?"

Yuki hadn't even realized he'd stood up until the teacher's confused gaze was fixed on him. His hand was half suspended in air and he glanced at it for a moment as if he'd never before seen his own fingers. Why was he up?

"I'd like to be excused please."

"Oh. Well…ah….is it very important?"

"Yes, sir."

"Well, alright then. Go ahead."

Kozue wasn't in class. She wasn't in school. He had seen her walk out before, but she had been coming in consistently since she'd found out his secret. Had she gotten into one of her accidents again? Was she in the hospital?

His stride lengthened and became quicker. It carried him out of the school and onto the main streets. He was propelled half by instinct while the other part of his brain tried to rationalize his behavior. He was worried about Amatsuka. But she was blackmailing him. Something was going on with her. But she'd caused nothing but trouble. He didn't want her to get hurt.

The hospital rose up at the end of the block and he strode through the lobby to the receptionist's desk.

"I'm here to see Amatsuka, please."

It was a different woman than the previous night, but the same one he had spoken to the first time he'd come to see Kozue. When the Head Teacher had sent him. She gave him a look of near tangible surprise, lowering the magazine that covered half her face.

"Amatsuka Kozue?"

"Yes."

"But…she hasn't been checked in since the evening you picked her up. Did something happen?"

It took him a while to comprehend the full implication of her statement. Kozue wasn't here? Then why wasn't she at school? "No. Nothing. I beg your pardon." He paused with indecision before adding. "Would you have her home address on file?"

The receptionist's dark eyes turned wary and she spoke as if weighing each word. "Well…yes. But we aren't permitting to give out the personal information of patients."

Yuki blew out a heavy sigh and leaned against the desk. Splaying one hand on the countertop he let his mouth slide into a winsome smile. "Please?"

"Ah…well…" Her twenty-something's resolve crumbled beneath the Sohma charm. "Maybe if we just keep it a secret."

She had just finished bandaging her hand when the doorbell rang. Sleeping with the cuts had been a bad idea. The blood had dried hard to her skin and it had taken her nearly half an hour to clean it away to her satisfaction. Pleasantly, however, during the night she had rolled over to sleep with her head atop it leaving it numb with the coming daylight and so there was little pain when she applied the disinfectant and salve. With four of her fingers wrapped in snowy white gauze she descended the stairs towards the front of the house.

Even drifting, fleetingly, past the hallway that led to her mother's study she could hear the clicking of keys. Kozue had forgotten she had the day off, but even on her brake Mrs. Amatsuka did not stop working. She never stopped working. Never stopped making new experiments. Kozue was sure the woman was not aware she hadn't gone to school that morning. She was positive she hadn't heard the doorbell either.

She didn't bother to check through the peephole that it was. Anyone intent on causing trouble would be welcomed with open arms, as far as she was concerned. Any sort of goblin of boogeyman that walked during the daytime might have well picked a target in the Amatsuka house.

Instead of a monster, she got The Prince.

She savored the brief moments she could feel the tingle of surprise. The warm chill of shock and disbelief, like snow down the back of her shirt. Even under a dark sky he was a glowing figure. Prominently good and kind and with all his flaws he was still flawless. An overwhelming resentment brought her back to full sobriety and she regarded him through a mask of ice, lifting an eyebrow coolly.

"I underestimated you. You're as smart as they say, Sohma Yuki." She smiled but felt graceless and awkward in her stonewash shorts and her t-shirt. "Did you come to erase my mind?"

"You didn't come to school."

There was that ice cube about. Sudden and affecting as a jolt of lightening. He was unaware, blissfully unaware, of how his simple statement had affected her. Her smile became grim and she swung the door wide. "Come in."

She turned away as he stepped through the threshold, shutting the door behind him, and slipped his shoes from his feet. Kozue didn't wait, but instead began making her way back through the huge front hall and towards the stairs. At a pace quickened to catch him, Yuki followed her.

"Where are we going?"

"My bedroom."