A/N: Look, I'm leaving in a bit (on the 9th of June, for a family trip), and I won't be back till the 28th, so I'm sorry to leave you all hanging, but I can't do anything more than this right now. Again, I'm sorry, and I hope that this second chapter will be enough to keep you hooked.

Disclaimer: I do not own Neon Genesis Evangelion, or it's plot line, and I do not own the slight Kingdom Hearts plot line inserted into this chapter. But, other than that, this chapter is MINE! I AM POSSESING IT!

Ch 2

I've been having these weird dreams lately…

Like, is any of it…for real…?

…or not?

Life seems so twisted and cruel…

Why!? Why do I have these dreams!? My father tells me that I'm an idiot, believing that they're true, and then he says crazy thoughts like 'I'm gonna bring you back, Yui…my precious Yui…', and 'Don't worry, Yui…all of our dreams will come to fruition, you'll see! You'll see!', all the while talking to his hand. Why!? Why is he doing that!?

This world is moronic and hard to understand. Who am I?

I am I.

But, if I am I, that who am I in other people's minds?

In the case of Asuka (A/N: just pretend I'm saying her full name, middle and all), Shinji, in Asuka's mind, exists as Shinji's mind inside of Asuka, and Asuka exists in Shinji's mind as Asuka's mind inside of Shinji.

In the case of Rei (A/N: I forgot to put this in at first, so I edited it; same thing as Asuka, pretend it's her full name), Shinji, in Asuka's mind, exists as Shinji's mind inside of Rei, and Rei exists in Shinji's mind as Rei's mind inside of Shinji.

The same goes for the case of Misato (A/N: you get the drill; I wanted this part to sound formal, but I don't know their full names), as well.

Thus, people's minds are defined by your connections with other people. I understand that now. But still…what is that being, that thing we call an angel? Is it really a messenger of God? Or is it simply a perfect being, created by or not created by God?

Then, who is God?

Which question do I really want answered?

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(flashback)

(1)

"Kaoru-kun…said 'I love you'…"

Did he really mean it?

"…To me!"

Was he saying it at me, or through me? (A/N: sorry if this part is hard to understand; I meant, like, saying it to something behind you, so you would be looking at him, but saying it through him)

"For the first time…for the first time, I heard those words."

Was it really the first time? Or did I want it to be…? Did I want to fall in love with an angel?

"He looked like me."

He looked like Father.

"And Ayanami."

And Mother.

"I loved him."

What is love?

"Kaoru-kun should have been the one to survive."

I should have been the one who died.

"He was much better than I am."

I'm pathetic; worthless. No one wants me; not even Father. I should just go someplace far away...To where Kaoru is…It would make life much easier on the rest of society.

"He should have survived."

To live on, to love on.

"No."

What?

"A survivor only needs the will to survive."

Is that really true? Then, what is my will? What do I live for?

"He wished to die."

Why!? He could have had everything he would have ever wanted. WHY!? WHY DID HE LEAVE ME!?

"He abandoned the will to live, and depended on false hope."

What was this false hope that you speak of? Was…was it me!?

"You weren't wrong, Shinji-kun."

…

"You're cold, Misato-san."

I wonder…is this how you act with him?(2)

(end of flashback)

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Who do you fear?

What do you fear?

Who do you hate?

What do you hate?

Can one achieve happiness through hatred and fear?

Do we long for the thing called love?

In a perfect world, the world would be empty of fear and hate, and everyone would love each other equally. I wonder, would we be able to achieve happiness in a world devoid of emotion?

Is that what you desire, my Shinji-kun?

I know who you are…

You know who I am? Then, do you know what I am? Do you despise me for it? Do you hate me? Do you fear me? Or…do you love me…?

I…I don't know…I don't really know what love is. I've never been loved since I was a child, and I've never had the opportunity to love another person, so I…I don't know…

Is that the truth? Or are you just lying to yourself, to protect yourself from the truth?

Protect myself…? The truth…?

The voice snickered. I suppose that you need more time to understand just what you feel, my Shinji-kun. Until then, I shall always watch over you. I shall always be with you, together forever. Is that what you desire?

Desire…Fear…Hate…Love…What are these things that we call Emotion?

(1) In this part, Shinji is thinking of a past conversation with Misato, and commenting on it in his mind. Truthfully, the whole thing so far has been the thoughts of Shinji, with some…other…things that I don't want to explain right now

(2) Misato's boyfriend, if that isn't clear

A/N: So, how do you like it so far? I tried to be creative, and combine a plot line with actual philosophical thoughts of mine, so tell me what you think. Reviews are always nice, so don't hesitate to hit that little button down there. It's not that hard people; just do it!

EDIT: I added some things that I forgot in the original, and also, I added some footnotes to clear up some vague parts (at least what I thought was vague)