Disclaimer: Harry Potter and his world belong to J. K. Rowling. This is for fun, no copyright infringement is intended.
Time frame: Marauder era, end of their fifth year.
- Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, the Room of Requirement
Sometimes Occlumency alone wasn't enough.
Severus drew his eyebrows together in concentration as he carefully measured the required amount of aniseed, cinnamon and dried cockroaches out into the mortar, picked up the pestle and started crushing them to a fine powder. There was something soothing, hypnotic almost in the monotone turning of his wrist; some kind of reassuring stability in the hardness of the table against his hip and knee. The small crunching noise of the pestle and the low bubbling from the middle-sized cauldron behind him the only audible sounds. He shifted his stance, shoulders unconsciously hunched in the typical way of a teenager not yet sure what to make of his suddenly stretched and awkwardly long limbs, and briefly wiped his nose at his sleeve.
Light was dim in this form of the Room of Requirement the air almost cold - a nearly perfect imitation of the conditions in Hogwarts real Potions classroom down in the dungeons. Or, in fact, the conditions in any respectable Potions laboratory in the wizarding world since daylight or heat didn't sit well with some if not most of the more delicate ingredients used for brewing. Very similar to quite a lot of things used in Muggle pharmacies come to think of it and he wondered briefly if they used the same type of furniture too, with sturdy wooden panels on three sides of the tables to protect the legs of anyone sitting at them in case of an accident. He would not be surprised. Eager to serve the Room had not only provided the one he was currently working at from the wrong side but about a dozen scattered across the cold stone floor, always four loosely arranged around a rectangular empty space in the middle, perfect for bigger cauldrons. Heavy shelves and cupboards with tools and books and other things lined the whitewashed walls, completing the equipment. In here no sound from outside disturbed the serene silence and it was remarkably easy to forget that one actually was in a hustling, bustling school full of students and teachers and ghosts and nosy portraits. Finally satisfied with the result of his work Severus tapped the pestle a few times against the rim of the mortar then set the tool aside.
Running a pale bony finger across the text in the huge book next to him (thankfully the Room did not seem to know or care about age restrictions) he nodded to himself, grabbed a folded cloth from beside it as he turned away, and took the few steps to the gleaming cauldron on a tripod that stood in the middle of the surrounding tables. After a quick look at the low fire burning underneath he bent forward with narrowed eyes and closely examined colour and consistence of the softly simmering concoction inside. What he saw must have pleased him for he nodded a second time, took up a wooden spoon from a hook at one of the tripod's legs and carefully inserted is, stirring one time clockwise. Catching any drop that might fall off skilfully with a twist of his hand and the cloth he held in the other he inhaled deeply the full, fragrant smell suddenly filling the room, rolled its taste over his tongue like a gourmet would test the flavour of a particularly good wine. Drying the wooden spoon quickly Severus hung it back on its hook and turned swiftly to get the mortar. He stopped short when he found it already held out to him.
Black eyes flew up to meet startling green almond-shaped ones.
A long hard moment passed as Lily looked back in silence. Then Severus abruptly dropped his gaze again and took the small brass bowl from her hand and equally sharply he turned and walked back to the cauldron. Lily's eyes followed him without a word.
Throwing the cloth he still carried over his shoulder Severus shifted the mortar on his left palm and sprinkled a pinch of powder across the potion. Tiny pale spots appeared wherever it fell, lengthening to fine stripes since the liquid was still circling lazily. Taking up a second pinch between thump and forefinger Severus ignored the whisper of robes coming to his side. And as he continued applying the powder he too ignored how the red head he could not help seeing out of the corner of his eye came forward to sniff the air rising from the cauldron. It nodded a bit when the former fragrant smell changed, became harsher, with a burning tinge in it that was not yet unpleasant but close. At the fifth pinch of powder the potion suddenly lost all colour and turned transparent. Severus drew his arm back and cleaned his fingers at the cloth over his shoulder then dropped his hand. A long moment they both stared mutely at the clear liquid until Lily looked down and picked at her sleeve. Her voice was carefully neutral.
"I heard what happened at the lake after I left."
For a second Severus's long fingers clenched almost convulsively around the mortar before relaxing again. There was no emotion in his answer.
"Did you now."
"Yes. Did you tell a teacher?" When silence was her only answer Lily visibly gritted her teeth. "You didn't."
"I do not tell on other students." Severus whirled round and stalked back to the table.
"Oh, for heaven's sake, Severus, this is ridiculous." Lily turned too but didn't follow him immediately. "Potter and Black are more than due for detention - preferably for the rest of the year!"
"I Do - Not - Tell on other students," Severus repeated, biting off every word. He set down the mortar and dropped the cloth beside it then reached for a jar with pickled rat tails.
"If you don't then I will."
"You will do no such thing!" Severus slammed the jar down hard and glared furiously back at her. "I fight my own fights! And I need neither the help of a teacher nor that of a Gryffindor for doing it!"
"Yes, THAT much was obvious when you were having your mouth full of soap!" Lily scoffed scathingly.
Severus looked ready for breathing fire but instead jerked back to the table and wrenched the jar open. "They took me by surprise that's all. It certainly will never happen again."
"Oh, come on!" Lily rolled her eyes. "They are two against one. Three or four if you count Pettigrew and Lupin. And I didn't see any of your fine friends moving a finger. As usual."
"And I already explained a hundred times that in MY house you fend for yourself and do not depend on others. It's weakness." Severus pulled out several tails and slapped them on a chopping board.
"Weakness." Lily made a disgusted face. "Boys! You are all mental!"
"Whatever," Severus snapped back. He started cutting up the tails with unnecessary energy.
Scowling Lily finally moved over to the table and stared gloomily at the large book.
"I still think you should tell a teacher. They've gone too far this time, you know that."
"NO! Damn it! Will you ever listen?" Severus abruptly hammered the knife into the chopping board. "I fight my own fights!"
"By blowing holes in the Great Hall?"
They stared at each other then Severus arched a brow and smiled unpleasantly.
"You might not be aware, yet, that it was officially a meeting of unfortunate circumstances as it can happen in the heat and stress of an examination ... especially the practical part of a Defence Against the Dark Arts OWL. Who would have thought the counter-jinx Potter was attempting right that moment would react SO badly with mine when I accidentally mixed..."
"Don't you dare give me that crap!" Lily now looked positively livid. "You might have fooled the adults but we both know EXACTLY you do not make that kind of mistake. Not in Defence Against the Dark Arts. You chose that spell on purpose and you could have killed someone for crying out loud!"
"With four accomplished examiners and one teacher in the same room? Not very likely."
"Reginald Ramsickle nearly had to spend the night in the hospital wing!"
"But actually he doesn't and if a student does not know when to duck by his fifth year he deserves no better anyway. A lesson POTTER seems to have learned by heart - as I can assure you with some satisfaction." Severus's smile, if one would really use that term on his curling upper lip, was now downright ugly.
"Oh, yes, I can just imagine HOW satisfied you were when he dived for cover!" Lily did nothing to hide her sarcasm. "What were you trying to prove with this whole thing - that you are truly insane? Well, congratulations, you succeeded. Most students will now give the Mad Slytherin a wide berth!"
"Good," said Severus and now he was no longer smiling.
Lily threw up her hands and stalked away to the next table, obviously considering giving it a good kick before returning again and glowering at the dark-haired boy. Much as she loathed admitting it but Severus's rather spectacular revenge could actually solve some things in the end ... although she honestly doubted he had been thinking of anything else than getting back at Potter at any cost when he entered the Great Hall. The teachers, unaware of what had happened after the theoretical part, might blame it on stress in an exam but the students would know better. From now on any of them would know what the Greasy Git was capable of when pushed too far. Oh, not that she was naive enough to believe the harassing and hexing would stop completely. At least Potter and his friends were way too thick for that. Nor would Severus let their feud rest, sadly enough. But she was rather certain it would never cross that special line again, would never go to the same extend as it had at the lake. That was a good thing, in a way, the best she could have hoped for but the means by which this uneasy balance had been achieved did not sit well with her. Not at all. Lily took a deep breath that not exactly calmed her.
"Will you have to repeat the examination?"
"I don't know yet." Severus put the cut up rat tails into a small bowl and cleaned the board with a quick wave of his wand. Next he set to counting out sunflower seeds. "We'll see."
Lily snorted. "Well, don't come whining at my shoulder if you do."
"Oh, don't worry. I need your shoulder no more than I need your advice. And least of all about my underwear."
Lily flinched but Severus didn't give her even a chance to reply. His look was like a flashing dagger.
"Had your fun, didn't you? Laughing along with the rest when he hung me upside down, eh?"
"No!" Too quick, too guilty, she could see it in his eyes and hot blood shot in her cheeks before she could help it.
"You were!" Severus abruptly sent the sunflower seeds flying with a sweep of his hand, his face like thunder. "You were laughing!"
"I-I-I... No! I mean..." Realising she dug herself in only deeper - her lips HAD twitched - Lily decided to plunge ahead. "Darn it, Severus, you wrote that spell because it's kind of funny! And if you wore a pair of trousers under your robes like the rest of us it wouldn't have been all that bad!"
"That is no proper attire for a wizard!"
"Not this old argument again, I'm sick of it!" Lily's patience snapped like an overstretched cord. "For heaven's sake, Severus, you can not forever live by the rules your mother put up she is DEAD--No!" She quickly held up her hands, shook her head, horrified. "Sorry! Oh, god, I'm sorry. I should not have said that."
"No," Severus pressed out through gritted teeth as he turned abruptly and practically stormed to the cauldron, fists clenched so violently the nails drew blood, "You should not have!"
Hiding her face in her hands Lily exhaled shakily then lifted it up to the ceiling. Not daring to look at his angrily hunched shoulders she settled for staring at a box with white powder sitting open at the edge of the table. Absent-mindedly she reached out and touched it then risked a quick glance. Severus was glaring at the potion, fists still clenched tightly enough to tremble. And suddenly she remembered how she had held on to these hands almost three years ago - had held on for dear life, his life, as if she could physically pull him back from that dark abyss in his soul. Sometimes she was not sure if she had succeeded. Lily chewed her lower lip.
"You used Sectumsempra on Potter," she said finally.
Severus started slightly and for the first time there was a trace of guilt visible in the rigid tension of his back. He made a move as if to look over his shoulder but never finished it, speaking to the cauldron in front of him instead.
"Only non-verbal." There was a defensive tone in his voice that had not been there before. "You know it is not very strong that way."
"You promised, Severus," Lily whispered, "You PROMISED you would never use that curse."
"He used my own SPELLS against me!" screamed Severus as he whirled round to face her, anger and hurt once more burning in his eyes.
"And you know exactly how to stop that, don't you?" Lily screamed right back. "The only thing you have to do is tell them that is was you who invented all those little hexes they are so fond of and they would not touch them with a pair of tongs! But nooo, you are too damn proud to see them used all over the school so you can glory in your own brilliance!"
"This is none of your business!"
Enraged Severus turned his back on her in a swirl of black robes ... and ran into the tripod. Potion splashed loudly as the cauldron tipped dangerously and he lunged forward with a strangled gasp, actually caught it - surprisingly enough - and jerked it back upright, causing the potion to slosh around even more. And a menacing sizzling sound suddenly filled the room. Severus paled and jumped back just as Lily got hold of the box on the table and emptied the white powder over him, the cauldron and the fire before throwing herself across the tabletop, dropping to the ground in a hail of breaking glass jars and rolling into the safety of the enclosed space. The mad sizzling sound continued for a few terrible seconds ... and died down.
Silence. Deep, deep silence.
Lily slowly cracked one eye open. The silence continued. She carefully lifted the upper elbow of the arms she had slung protectively around her head. Still the only sound she heard was her own frantic heartbeat. Swallowing nervously Lily finally opened both eyes and uncurled from her foetal position.
The smell of alcohol was overpowering. Shards of glass shimmered in puddles of liquid, potion ingredients were strewn all across the stone floor. Even the chopping board she had taken down with her. With her shoe she scraped a gap into the worst of it and crawled out of her hiding place. As she raised her head warily over the table Severus's was just appearing behind the one to her right, face and hair streaked white with powder. They exchanged an uncertain look.
Standing Severus inched slowly around the edge of his shelter and Lily followed his example until they were standing side by side, craning their necks to peer into the cauldron.
Powder covered the no longer gleaming metal like a layer of dust, sat on the now still and innocent surface of the potion, had spread over the tripod, the place where the fire had been, the floor, hovered even in the air. Lily slowly released the breath she was holding.
"Wow." Her voice quivered audibly. "That was close."
"Yeah." Severus was still staring somewhat stunned at the cauldron then glanced sideways at her. "Good reaction."
She managed a shaky smile. "Same to you."
A moment longer they stared at what could have been their final disaster then Lily cleared her throat with an effort and reached for her wand.
"Well, show me your hands."
Obediently Severus turned his palms up and Lily grimaced in sympathy at the sight of the angry blisters. She chanted a melodic incantation to mend the burnt flesh then added a quick cleaning spell that vanished most of the white powder from his clothes and skin but as usual did surprisingly little for his naturally greasy hair.
"Thanks." Severus experimentally flexed his healed fingers, eyes cast downward.
"You're welcome." Lily repeated the last spell on her own robes before busying herself with putting her wand away.
An uncomfortable silence fell between them. Severus kneaded his hands while Lily shuffled her feet, both looking anywhere but at each other. Awkward seconds ticked by. Then they abruptly walked in different directions and started cleaning up.
In all honesty, they didn't know if it were necessary. They had no idea what form the Room of Requirement took when not occupied or what happened to the potion equipment when it transformed for other needs. Nor had any of them ever entered and found things other than impeccably clean, orderly and fully stocked but ... well. Somehow not doing it felt impolite.
So they dumped the now harmless contents of the cauldron down the drain and Severus set to scrubbing it while Lily shooed a couple of brooms across the floor and carried scales and knives back to their cupboards. Disposing of the piles of dirt she neatly sidestepped the large book Severus sent onto its shelf with a flip of his wand before he started sorting the unharmed jars with ingredients into their wooden boxes. Lily transported the first two to the heavy storage cupboard where they were kept and then returned and stood behind Severus's right shoulder as he packed the last. It was all routine, done with the ease of long practice where words were neither necessary nor wanted and yet they were both unable to forget the painful difference for one second.
Lily's eyes followed the sure movement of Severus's hands as he arranged the last jars in the box then reached for the lid. The small clicking and tinkling of glass against glass the only sound in the oppressive silence.
"It hurt when you called me Mudblood today." She watched Severus's fingers still on the closed box at her quietly spoken words. "Because this time you meant it."
Whatever else might be the outcome of this day. Mudblood ... Snivellus ... never again would they use those cruel nicknames in jest, would never again ridicule their meaning with mocking irony. Their private joke had turned bitter. Because they had broken something today. Something innocent, something pure, had broken it with thoughtless words spoken in misdirected anger. A worst memory for both of them. Severus's hands suddenly came alive again, deftly securing the little bolt before picking up the box and carrying it to the cupboard. The space where he had stood suddenly cold and empty. Lily closed her eyes and felt like crying.
"Do you..."
Her head snapped up as Severus's voice trailed off and she saw that he had half turned and was now staring at a spot on the floor somewhere to her right; an unreadable expression on his face. He hesitated visibly, unconsciously cradling the box tighter to his chest, like a shield, and for a second his uneven teeth dug into his lower lip, a painfully uncertain gesture that clenched her heart. Then he snorted and shook his head.
"Do you still have some of those blasted Chocolate frogs?"
The smile that slowly spread across Lily's face was as brilliant as the sun although she had tears in her eyes as she reached into her pocket.
"Only one," she admitted softly, "We'd have to share."
Severus's mouth twitched slightly but his eyes and voice were serious as he finally finished his turn and looked at her.
"That's fine by me."