Chapter 1B

Mimori sits at the kitchen table, fiddling with some silverware and trying to mind her own business. It's hard though, because she can partly see Asuka and Cammy locked in a silent embrace in the front room. They're so lucky to have found each other.

Mimori tries to stifle the pang of jealousy rising within her. It seems like forever since she's shared any intimate touches with another person. While it's true that Mimori's parents are very wealthy Mainlanders, her home life had been typical in her opinion. Her parents strove to instill independence and empathy in Mimori, yet there was never a shortage of affection in the family. Growing up surrounded by the love and admiration of her parents, Mimori had become used to cuddles and kisses and spontaneous expressions of love.

She thought every family was like hers until she met Ryuho. He was always reserved and shy around her, even after they had gotten to know each other very well. She knew he loved his mother very much, but couldn't recall ever seeing them hug or kiss each other. Ryuho's devotion to his father knew no bounds, yet they were always formal with each other.

When they were children it had taken him forever to even hold her hand, and she had to be the initiator. He slowly got used to her hugging him, as she did with her other friends, but he always seemed uncomfortable. Nevertheless, despite his shyness he was always a little gentleman- opening doors, helping her in and out of cars or up and down steps. He always pulled out her chair and stood up whenever she excused herself.

Oh, how we used to play together! They explored wherever they could and told each other their secrets. He had been her best friend, no question. Yet now they have drifted so far apart she feels she can't close the gap between them no matter how hard she tries. Though she wants to understand she can't comprehend how his feelings have changed so much in such a short time. Ryuho, what's happened to you?

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The tower formerly the headquarters of HOLD and HOLY is a maze of confusion. Ryuho is running down once familiar corridors that have since been transformed, searching desperately. Where the hell am I? I must hurry. A blinding light issues from the end of the corridor and he rushes towards it. I have to make it before…

In the doorway of a giant room he halts mid-step and must throw his arm in front of his face to shield it from the intense light. The strength of the light immediately begins to decrease- slowly at first, then fading faster and faster. Through squinted eyes and the gaps of his shading fingers Ryuho sees the shape of a girl in the center of the room, the center of the light- toes together, arms outstretched, head tilted back, eyes closed, short blue hair blowing around her face. She's here, and she's still…

As if in response to his thoughts the head tilts forward and the eyes open, revealing the girl's pain and fatigue. The life in her eyes fades with the surrounding light.

"Cherise! Don't…" Ryuho yells, and tries to navigate through the light to get to her. But pushing through the light is like pushing through water, and he can barely gain any ground. As he fights forward he sees her watching him and smiling through her pain. I'm coming, Cherise. Just don't…

The light issuing from her fades faster and faster, until the room darkens. He can move swifter as the light weakens but he still cannot get to her. The closer he approaches the more frail she appears. The once illuminating light is now a gentle glow, and the room is plunging further into darkness. Her balance falters as she wilts and he catches her in his arms mid-collapse. "Cherise…"

She silences him with a passionate kiss, pushing all the life she has left into his lips, into him. The glow of her skin pulses a final time, and then she convulses and falls back. He instinctively tightens his arms around her to catch her, but her body disappears like vapor, leaving behind only her emptying clothes. Boots, shorts and sleeves drop to the floor, leaving her blouse draped over his encircled arms. He stairs down at the vacant fabric as blackness envelops him.

This all-too familiar scene conjures tears to his eyes at once. He has let her die for him again. Through the blackness he shouts, "Not for me! I didn't want this!"

Caught up in his despair he can barely hear a whisper from far behind, "You can cry. It's okay." It's Kazuma's voice, but at this moment Ryuho does not care who sees him cry. He turns to face the voice issuing from the darkness and is startled to see that Kazuma is not talking to him.

"It's alright to cry if you want to…" Kazuma continues to whisper in a girl's ear, "We both know that no one will be coming for you." He chuckles softly and tightens his grip on the neck of …Mimori! He has come up behind her and wrapped the fingers of his normal hand tightly around Mimori's throat. His armored right arm clutches her abdomen, pulling her to him as if using her as a shield against an unknown assailant. Mimori's eyes are wide with terror and helplessness, and her fingers fight to relieve the grip on her neck. She is too frightened to cry and too breathless to scream. Once more Kazuma sneers in her ear, "Looks like you're all out of luck, Princess."

"No, Mimori! Kazuma what are you doing!" Ryuho shouts, but neither seems to hear him. The scene plays out as if he has not spoken.

"I can see why Ryuho would like a girl like you. You're so prudish and proper- just like him. But I guess I overestimated his feelings for you." As Kazuma speaks his voice changes and his appearance begins to morph. His spiked brown hair turns silver and straight and his tattered clothes smooth out into a pinstriped suit. By the end of his sentence, it is Kyoji Mujo clutching Mimori.

"Don't feel bad, my dear. You're still a very attractive woman. I'm sure I can think of many ways in which you will be useful to me." Hearing this, Mimori struggles against his grip, causing Mujo to hold on tighter. "Now stop wriggling, dear girl. No need to make this difficult. You'll make me bring out my Alter power. It's so hard to contain, you know." At this a surge of energy charges through Mujo's body and flows into Mimori. He smiles broadly at the appearance of his power and Mimori tries to scream against her closed windpipe. Her eyes widen in shock, then roll back and she collapses like a rag doll at Mujo's feet. He smiles as he bends down to loom over her.

"Mimori, No!" Ryuho shouts, "Mujo, I will kill you!" His cries go unheeded by the man in front of him.

"Oh my, so fragile," smiles Mujo, leering over the body of Mimori, "It seems you should have never left the Mainland." He wraps his gloved fingers around Mimori's crystal- the one Ryuho gave her that she always wears- and he rips it violently from her bruised neck. "Whatever could have possessed you to venture to the Lost Ground?" With these final words Mujo stares directly at Ryuho, locking eyes with him. His accusing stare is propped upon a sadistic smile. He erupts with laughter.

"Mujo! You son of a bitch! I'll kill you!" Ryuho rages, charging towards the man. But as he approaches Mujo recedes into the darkness, leaving behind only the echo of his laughter and Mimori's sprawled figure. Ryuho rushes to her and drops to his knees at her side. "Mimori!... No…" With one hand under her neck and the other around under her back he lifts her torso onto his lap. All her muscles are slack and she is heavy in his arms. He cups the back of her head and her black hair spills across her face and down his arm. With the other hand he delicately pulls each strand of hair from her forehead and cheeks, from across her lips.

Why didn't you leave? I told you to go back. You would have been safe… She's so stubborn and yet so naïve. So bravely impetuous and idealistic. With his finger he gently traces a path across her brow, to the corner of her eye, over her cheekbone, down to her chin, up to her lips. A tear drips from his eye and lands on the apple of her cheek. It rolls down the side of her face, diverts around her earlobe and falls noiselessly in the cascade of her hair. Why?

He closes his eyes to stave off the welling tears. When he opens them, it is no longer the body of Mimori in his lap. It is now that of his mother exactly as she was 6 years ago. Even in death her face wears an expression of gentleness and caring. The tears he was fighting to control now roll freely down his face. He tries to speak but chokes on the lump rising in his throat.

I'm so sorry, mother, so sorry. It was my fault- my Alter- that caused your killer to come searching for us. All my fault…

Ryuho's despair smothers his entire body. He can't breathe, can't think, can't live with this guilt. It's his fault, all his fault and he can do nothing to reverse any of it.

A single gunshot slices though the silence surrounding him. His father is slumped in his chair in the study, a gun dangling from his limp fingers. Kyoji Mujo's laughter echoes through the darkness once again. No more. I can't take any more.

The voice of Commander Zigmarl is bragging, "Yes, he's swiftly become our number one asset in the location and acquisition of Native Alters for Mainland refining. Ryuho is an unstoppable juggernaut and follows orders precisely as he's told without question or protest. He is the perfect foot soldier."

No more! Damn it, no more! Blame and self-pity are drowning him. There is no hope to save him, no sanity to which he can cling. He will go mad from despair. He will be entirely consumed. He will tear out his hair, scratch off his skin to rid himself of the filth of his shame.

As he readies himself for the only escape he can imagine a faint yet familiar light slowly opens the blackness around him. It banishes the visions and voices, leaving him alone in a vacant space. No, not quite alone. A presence, a very familiar one, is with him. It is soothing, strong and loyal and is coming from within him. There is something he now carries that he did not realize was a part of him. It is…

He awakens as wet as if he had walked through a hurricane. Sweat has made his clothes cold and uncomfortable. He can barely breathe and his body aches all over. He finds he is in an unfamiliar bed in an unfamiliar room; the eerie space in his dream fades fast from his mind. Upon trying his muscles he discovers they are very resistant to respond and figures he will not be able to sit up, let alone stand or walk out of these strange surroundings.

He will never fall asleep again, not if it means reliving the nightmare from which he has just awoken. He will just lie in this semi-comfortable bed and figure out where he is and what he will do. He thinks better with his eyes closed. Before he can string together another set of coherent thoughts he has drifted into a more restful state of unconsciousness.

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Back in the kitchen, Mimori has finally made up her mind about how to handle Ryuho. No matter how much she may want to, she will not approach him and will not question him about their relationship. As if there's any relationship left she muses. The last time they saw each other he had made it perfectly clear how he felt.

God, I looked like such a fool! She thought back to their last meeting and how she had spilled her soul to him, had said she loved him. She had grabbed hold of him like a desperate child. In a vulnerable moment she had cast aside her dignity for honesty, and had been repaid with the same, though it was certainly not the kind of honesty she was prepared for.

He threw Cherise's death in my face. Like I didn't realize she sacrificed her Alter and her life for him. Perhaps he was trying to protect Mimori from danger, but all he had accomplished was to remind her of a sacrifice which she could not duplicate. It's not like I even have an Alter to give up. Do I have to die before he takes my feelings seriously?

No, she can't take that kind of rejection again. She won't give up on him, but if he prefers to entirely avoid their past and her feelings then she will grudgingly comply. She won't risk walking into that much heartache if it can be avoided…

The sound of a vehicle stopping abruptly and car doors slamming grabs Mimori's attention. Then she hears the voice of a young boy shouting, "Tachibana! Is Ms. Mimori here? We need her help right now!"

"Elian, what's the matter? Where's Urizane?" Tachibana asks as Mimori runs in from the kitchen.

"Urizane's outside…" Cammy calls from the front door.

"Ms. Mimori, you have to help us. You're the closest thing to a doctor I could think of so we brought him here." Elian is pale with panic.

"But I'm not … Brought who here?" Mimori doesn't understand the boy.

"It's Cougar," Elian exclaims, "I think he's dying!"

(End of Chapter 1)

A/N-- Gasp! Can it be? Cougar, alive? In my fic he is, damn it! If he can live through the next chapter, that is. And more Elian and Urizane to come- yahhh! Please review- I'm really getting into this, but I have a nagging fear that I'm posting snot-bombs. Putting your stuff out there is scary! I'm feelin' kinda naked right now. Please be gentle with the flames, folks- this is my first fanfic.

-Thx, Mira

Ps- thx to Kat for her editor's eye (she rocks).