A/N: Thank you to Englishgirl, Jamie, and RaistlinofMetallica (I'm happy it was reattachable =laughter=). *Cupcakes for everyone!*
posted: 5/28/03
Pansy and Portkeys
It was impressive to say the least. You would never think it from all the time she spent on hair and makeup charms, but Pansy Parkinson was a portkey genius. In mere hours Pansy had made hundreds of portkeys both for the muggleborns and the 'clean up' squads to avoid apprehension. They were magically undetectable, self-destructed after use, and to top it all off, they masked one specific spell on the carrier's wand. At the look of pure shock on the faces surrounding her, she'd smirked.
"There's a reason why Parkinsons have always been Slytherins..." examining her nails, "...amongst other things."
More than that, they had worked. The next few hours heard a subtle pattern forming across the countryside.
flap...flap...flap
...hoot...
'oh...what's this...*POP*'
flap...flap...flap
...hoot...
'this must be my...*POP*'
flap...flap...flap
...hoot...
'look Dennis a...*POP*'
'flap...flap...flap...Colin?'
...hoot...
'hello there...*POP*'
Of course it was nothing compared to the scenes that followed.
'Pansy look at this..' *Crash*
'..Robbers! I have a shotgun...'
"..shotgun..?"
*Bang*
"My hair!...STUPIFY!"
'...Trevor is that you...?'
*grrrrrr*
'...good dog...'
'What's going on here!'
'Stupify Stupify Stupify...oh...sorry Trevor.'
'Weasley what are you doing?'
*ding dong* click
'Pizza Delivery.'
'We didn't order a...'
'Stupify!'
Several near misses, two dog bites, eight pounds and seventy cents later, SMITEM was happily settling in pajama-clad witches and wizards to the manor, and stupefied muggles to the dungeons.
"Welcome to Camp Muggleborn," Draco announced, "the most important camp of your lives. Orientation starts tomorrow morning and schedules are posted on the wall."
"Reprogramming..?" he heard a confused whisper.
"Oh... how did that get there. Here's the real schedule." He replied casually, tacking a camper-friendly version up on the wall just before spelling the entire wing of Malfoy Manor shut.
No aurors...no dementors...a dungeon full of muggles...and impressionable minds under his control. Draco Malfoy could get used to this whole do-gooder thing...but could it get used to him?