A/N: Classes are over ::scream of joy:: Thank you everyone! You're all amazing and fabulous people. Thank you for encouraging me. Godiva, Cataclysmic, Dragenphly, Reigh Evenstar, TheSunAndTheMoon, Azalea, RaistlinofMetallica, Harmoni, Zekkers, Isadora, danceingfae
fyre - (wow, that's the largest review I've ever seen) you called me on the teachers. I'm so happy! It's a while coming, but it will come.
Narcissa - nothing like opening reviews to see Draco's mother agreeing he shouldn't do good. I nearly choked on my sandwich
(To reviewers I've missed, don't think you don't get feed too!)
:: hears kitchen timer:: The coffeecake's ready! I'll be right back with plates and forks.
- posted: 7/23/03
Housing and Hexes
In their thousands of years on the Malfoy estate, it's house elves had never done as much manual labor as they did that one day. In less than eight hours the South Wing had been transformed into a world-class luxury hotel. Every newly renovated suite was tastefully decorated in the most opulent manner. The attached bathrooms held deep bath pools, and the campers' common room was as large as the Dursley's first floor...not that that was saying much. Adding to it all, the house elves left a chocolate frog waiting on each camper's pillow. By the time everyone had enjoyed an 'informal' dinner of multiple courses, enchanted instruments, and an ice hippogriff sculpture, there was no sign the South Wing had been a charred, smoking pile of irreplaceable rubble at sunrise.
To the newly settled campers things seemed perfect, good food, no adults, there had even been a casual quidditch game after lunch. That night they settled into their rooms eager and optimistic about their summer at camp. What they didn't realize was their wing was covered in upper level dark hexes, barred from the outside, and SMITEM was seated around an enormous viewing sphere, holding clipboards, and monitoring their every action.
"Weasley, stop hogging the popcorn. I know you have to fight for food like animals at your shack, but in civilized society one takes a portion and then passing the bowl." Draco said grabbing it out of Ron's hands.
"Yeah sure, just shut up and keep taking notes on them all." He said pointing at viewing sphere. "Neville did you get the rest sorted out?" Ron asked over his shoulder.
"Mostly. I've got the familiars in the menagerie, they've calmed down a bit. But I need help with the wands; I've been knocked out twice sorting them. Some cores get really volatile at close proximity. I could use help."
"You'll get some tomorrow." Draco glanced up at the sphere again. "I wish they'd stop fidgeting. They have nothing to be uncomfortable about."
"Well the rooms are kind of frilly and expensive looking. Maybe we should have made those more normal." Ron watched critically as a camper cautiously pulled back a nineteenth-century embroidered duvet.
"Nonsense. They've been deprived all their lives. It's time they got something above board."
"I agree," Pansy said as a house elf poured her more pumpkin juice. "I just don't see why we put those chocolate frogs on the pillows. They clash horribly with the decor."
"They do it at muggle hotels. It makes the guest feel cared about." Ginny replied helpfully.
"Really? That explains why they're all taking to it so well." He watched the last hold out open his package. "I just put them there to insure regular doses of the mind control potion."
Ron sprayed pumpkin juice all over nearby members. "You put mind control potion in the candy!"
"Well not all the potion. It's more the two-part kind. One in dinner, one in the chocolate frogs." Draco said casually.
"Wait...in dinner? How did you keep us from getting any? We all ate the same stuff."
"I didn't. Everyone got an equal portion of the first part and will keep getting it for that matter. It 's harmless unless you start eating the frogs."
"Draco." They heard Crabbe say from the side of the room. "I ate...ah...three frogs."
After a short silence, Draco spoke. "Three, really." He smirked. "Tap-dance for us."
After two minutes of being scarred for life, Ron called Crabbe's rendition of the Sea Squid Shuffle to a screeching halt. "For Merlin's sake never do that again."
"Oh and before any of you take up the role of 'off-put Gryffindor', that level of command only comes with three frogs or more. The one will just...encourage them… to take on more reasonable beliefs."
"What are those exactly?" Ron said suspiciously.
"Well, I'm having the house elves leave pamphlets for them to look through each night." Draco rifled through his notes. "Tonight was Muggle crafts, useless compared to magic and The Dark Arts, a valid lifestyle choice." He scanned his list. "Oh good, Mass Mugglecide, not as amoral as you may think is this week. I was hoping we'd get to that soon."
Ron just stared at him in awe. "We're drugging muggleborns and encouraging them to believe that dark magic and mugglecide are good things." He paused. "Why am I following you? You're insane!"
"Now just hear me out. We have to start reconditioning them somehow, and this is much gentler than the interrogation-torture-sleep deprivation methods I looked through to begin with...and less labor intensive." He smiled. "Besides, only the ones who are really good at the dark arts will turn to them anyway and we know those won't go back to the muggle world. Also, think how much simpler life would be with all the muggles gone...oh fine, subdued if you're that squeamish. Really, just read through these." He said, handing out random pamphlets to Gryffindor members. "Try making a valid argument against it all after you've seen the facts. I believe you'll find them hard to disagree with." Ron shook his head as he skimmed through the pages.
The monitoring session went on for another hour including a discussion of possible field trips and the need for SMITEMs members to make long-term plans to stay through at the manor.
"Oh, one last note," Draco announced with everyone moving towards the doorway. "As we all know, every effective organization runs on manipulating its members through bribery..."
"No they don't. Hogwarts doesn't. Dumbledore would never…" Ginny started.
*cough* "lemon drop" *cough* came from somewhere near the back.
"As I was saying, proper bribery is the staple of any good organization and now is an excellent time to start. This week everyone gets a watch." He handed each an elegant, yet not too noticeable timepiece. Each was shaped differently, some pocketwatches, some wristwatches, and some altogether different. "They're actually quite useful as well." Each member looked down to study theirs. The clocks had several hands: Campers, Families, G, P, and a red or silver hand for each member of SMITEM. It's face read: Manor, Danger, Mortal Peril, Field Trip, Muggle World, Imprisoned, Manual Labor, and Great Distress. Once each member put theirs on, Draco dismissed the group.
Later that night Ron and Draco were figuring out the activities schedule when Ron stopped, frowning.
"Malfoy, since when are the muggles stuck between Great Distress and Mortal Peril? Last time I checked they were only Imprisoned."
"They shouldn't be, I put Vince and Greg down there on guard duty. They may be a little wand-happy, but they won't do anything without orders. Besides your sister went down to take them some sandwiches, those two can't hex and eat at the same time." Draco explained.
"Wait, you left Ginny alone down there with Crabbe and Golye!"
"It's not like they'll hurt her. We're all on the same side after all."
"I'm not worried about her. Come on." Ron ran for the dungeons with a curious Draco giving chase.
It was dark, cold, and exactly as creepy as dungeon building etiquette required. They rounded the last corner to flashes of light and the voice of a redheaded Weasley girl.
"Good, but there's got to be a stronger hex in here somewhere!"
A satisfied mumble proceeded more flashing light, and a convulsing sound.
"That'll show you wizard abusing muggles. Are you happy now?" Ginny yelled light still streaming from her wand, Crabbe and Golye seemed content to watch, enjoying their sandwiches in the background. She looked up lowering her wand and closing one of Malfoy's pamphlets with her other hand. "Oh, hi Ron, Malfoy, we were just torturing horrible people." She yelled at the cowering muggles. "Want to help?"
Draco's hand went to his wand just as Ron broke in. "No! Ginny stop, this is all wrong."
"He's right." Draco nodded. "You should hold your wand at more of a 45 degree angle after you swish." He took Horrific Hexes, a beginner's guide to causing pain beyond measure out of her hand and flipped through it. "See it's right here in the diagram on page four. They'll spasm far more that way." He looked over at Ron. "What? I'm being helpful. The girl has a natural talent for muggle torture, it just needs some refinement."
"That's it. I'm not letting a Malfoy give my sister lessons in muggle torture. You're all coming with me. Tomorrow we'll deal with the lot of them so this can't happen again. For right now though, we're going back upstairs where no one can hex muggles. In fact no more muggle hexing at all…" He paused, distracted as his watch swung the G and P hands to Great Distress and Manual Labor. "Except for the Grangers and Dursleys... who most definitely have it coming!" His expression turned dark. "Give me that pamphlet." He growled yanking it out of Draco's hands, and skimmed through muttering as they climbed the stairs.