Chapter Twelve: Barely a Week

Barely a week had passed and he was watching Addison, across the cafeteria, sharing a salad with Mark Sloan.

He was glad he was having lunch with just Meredith because, at the moment, he was in no mood to be grilled by Izzie and George about the identity of his "mystery lover." Had anyone brought it up, he probably would have hit them. Of course hitting Mark Sloan would be far more satisfying.

He was angry and jealous. He knew he shouldn't be, but every time he looked up and saw Sloan with his arm around Addison's shoulder both emotions bubbled up inside him.

He told himself that it had nothing to do with the fact that Addison was moving on, and everything to do with who she was moving on with. He told himself that if it was anyone else he would have been happy for her. But if that was the case, then he should be happy for her right now. She looked happy.

But that only made it worse. He remembered the details of their last conversation, the tears, the frantic look in her eyes, the desperation evident in her words and movements and was jealous because Sloan had taken all that away. Barely a week after he, Alex, had made her cry, Sloan was making her smile.

He pushed his untouched food around his tray and tried not to think about Addison letting Sloan put his arms around her, tried not to imagine her kissing him, letting him put his hands on her. His mind had already made the leap. He couldn't tear his eyes off the two of them. He didn't even notice Meredith trying to get his attention until she said his name for the third time.

"Alex!"

"Huh?"

"Are you o.k?"

"Yeah... I'm fine."

"O.k." She returned to her meal and he continued to stir his food around his plate. Suddenly she dropped her fork and said,

"That woman you're crazy about, it's Addison isn't it?"

He nearly choked. "What? No!"

Meredith looked incredulous and raised an eyebrow.

"O.k. Yes, it's Addison."

"I thought so. You're staring."

"Yeah..." The scene between Addison and Sloan still had his attention. "Is it really that obvious?"

"I kind of figured it out," Meredith said softly. "You said it was complicated and as far as I know the only beautiful and complicated women you spend time with are Izzie and Addison. And according to Derek she's mysteriously depressed and so are you so..."

"She doesn't look too depressed to me."

Meredith followed his gaze across the cafeteria just as Sloan tucked a piece of Addison's hair behind her ear. As he did so she glanced up from the journal she was reading and smiled. Meredith watched them thoughtfully for a moment before turning to him and saying,

"Yeah, but she's Addison. If she's depressed, she's good at hiding it."

"Yeah."

"So did you ever talk to her?"

"Yeah."

"How did it go?"

"Not great. We're pretending it didn't happen. Her idea, not mine."

"Are you o.k?"

Meredith was being sympathetic. Which was nice. And made sense because she'd had a similar experience with Shepard. Although her's must have been much worse. And he knew he should appreciate it because Meredith was really good at being supportive without pushing you to open up and share your feelings and crap like that. But he really wasn't in the mood.

"Yeah. It's no big deal. It probably wouldn't have worked out anyway. The whole thing was pretty messed up. I'm o.k."

"It's o.k. not to be, you know."

"Yeah, but what's the point? If she's doesn't want it, then she doesn't want it. There's nothing I can do about it so why be upset?"

"Because it still sucks."

"Yeah, it really does."

So, short chapter. I appologize.

You don't really have to review if you don't want to but it would make me happy.

What do you think of Meredith? I am very self conscious about writting her because I made her actually grow a spine and drop Derek in a oneshot I did and a bunch of people were like "W.T.F? Meredith would never do that." Well you know what? I think she should. He was a bad husband to Addison. And now he's being a bad boyfriend to her. He needs to find the balance between neglect and creepy over protectiveness. That's not love. That's just going to lead to lasting psycological issues. Whatever happened to equal partnership? She should dump him. Anyway...

Next time: It's another Addison Alex confrontation. "So, I know it's none of my buissiness but... Are you with Sloan?"