So, to counteract the sadness of this chapter... real life hilarity:

A dinner at my friend's house... Alcohol is involved. My friend sets her napkin on fire, panics and drops it into a bowl containing traces of whipped cream, ie. sugar, ie. ignition, ie. Not Good. Really, more scary than funny, but we put it out and nothing was destroyed and only one person got burns and they were not very bad. Time for the funny part:

Friends mother enters.

Friends mother: Something smells burney.

Me: (speaking on behalf of drunken friends and slightly intoxicated myself) Do not worry nothing is burning... anymore.

Friends mother: Nothing's burning?

Me: Correct.

Friends mother: But something was burning?

Me: There was a minor incident. It's o.k. now.

Friends mother: O.k. So there's no fire... but there was earlier? These are all empty (indicates bottles of alcohol). But they were full earlier?

Me: More or less.

Friend: I wanna watch some MOVIES!

Me: I think we're going to go watch some movies now.

Friends mother: (pause) O.k... Don't let her throw up.

Me: Dinner was excellent by the way.

We go down to the basement drink beer, eat cheese cake and watch Dream Girls. Friends mother is surprisingly cool about all of this. I am surprisingly cool under pressure.

So you've been amused. Now prepare to be heart broken.

Chapter Thirteen: I Wouldn't Lie to You.

Barely a week after Addison had asked him for space, and he was standing in her office about to start a conversation that would only leave him looking selfish and pathetic.

"Hey."

She raised a perfect eyebrow at him over her glasses, then got up from her desk, closed the door behind him and drew the blinds. He leaned against the edge of her desk and scanned the titles of the medical journals lining the shelves. She crossed the room and leaned against the desk beside him, her hand resting a few inches from his own. She sighed.

"Hi."

He decided to just spit it out.

"Look, I know it's really none of my buissiness, but... Are you with Sloan?"

"What?"

"Are you and Sloan together?"

She squeezed her eyes shut and ran her fingers through her hair, sighing.

"No."

"Well it kind of lookes like you are?"

"Well we're not." He noted the hint of exasperation in her voice. "Mark and I are just friends."

"Just friends?"

"Just friends," she stated firmly.

Seconds passed. They stood silently, leaning against the desk, close enough to touch but avoiding even looking at eachother. He wanted to believe her, wanted to trust that she would be honest with him. He was weighing her word against... what? It was nothing more than a feeling he'd gotten watching her with Sloan, a ridiculous, jealous suspicion. But what if he was right?

Finally he glance over at her and a moment later she turned to face him and he saw it in her eyes. As clearly as if she's said it out loud.

I wouldn't lie to you.

"O.k," he whispered and found it in him to smile. "I didn't really think you'd do that, anyway."

"Do what?"

"Shack up with another guy one week after 'that thing that never happened."

He realized he'd taken the conversation to a dangerous area by the anxiety that flickered across her face. Still, she spoke calmly in spite of it.

"No... I wouldn't do that." She took off her glasses and started her nervous habit ot toying with them, before adding,

"But just because Mark and I aren't... It doesn't mean... It doesn't really make a difference either way."

"Yeah."

She clearly realized he was putting on a brave face, because her next words were,

"Are you o.k?"

"Yeah. I'm o.k." It was pretty obvious he wasn't but he knew she'd pretend to believe him, anyway. "I mean, if you can't do it, then you can't do it. I could get depressed and start feeling sorry for myself but that wouldn't change anything. So how about you? Are you o.k?"

"I guess so."

That was the part where he was supposed to pretend to believe her, pretend he couldn't see just how lonely and confused and guilty she felt. He couldn't do it.

"If you're upset, you can tell me about it. We could just talk..."

"No. If we talk about it I'll start crying and... keeping in mind 'that thing that never happened' last time you found me crying..." She attempted a smile and failed miserably. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"You can trust me."

It was actually kind of a selfish thing to say, given the circumstances because she obviously didn't want to have this conversation. She was trying really hard to maintain composure and he was wishing she would just let it go so it would be o.k. for him to comfort her.

"I know I can trust you. I don't really have a problem trusting you. I have a problem trusting myself. I'm the woman who cheated on her husband, remember?"

"You've got to stop regretting that." He was starting to remind himself of Shepard. He'd always told himself that if a woman asked him for space he would have the strength to back off and not follow her around being all dreamy and complicating things. "You've got to stop regretting that," he repeated.

"It's hard."

"You'd really still want to be married to that guy?"

"Don't say it like that. He's not that guy. He's the last third of my life."

"Were you happy? Were you really, actually happy?"

"I loved him."

"Were you happy?" he persisted.

Finally she snapped, "No! Would I have cheated if I was happy?"

"Exactly."

She glared at him and he knew he should just shut up, because if he kept going there was a big possibility that he would really piss her off... but there was also a possibility that she would open up to him so he said,

"Why did you stay with him?"

She sighed.

"You can't just... snap your fingers and make it go away."

"Yeah. I know what you mean."

Their eyes met and he saw the guilt that pooled in hers at his words. Then her lips were pressed against his and they were kissing urgently and he wasn't really sure who had leaned in first. She tasted like chapstick and her skin was soft and warm under his fingers and he barely had time to notice any of this before she pulled away.

She leaned her forehead against his and tangled their fingers together, bringing his hand to her lips and kissing it.

"It takes time." Her voice was small and breathless but getting firmer. "It takes time but eventually it does go away. We just have to wait it out. It will go away," she said. Then she kissed him softly on the cheek, dropped his hands and walked out of the office.

He was left sitting alone, wondering exactly what had happened. His hands felt cold and empty and he could still feel the imprint of her lips on his cheek.

What the hell have you done, Karev? She asked for space. How many times are you going to force youself on her? She doesn't want it. Leave her alone. Get over it. Stop. Just, stop.

He left the office determined to give Addison the space he needed. For three weeks he stayed away. He tried not to think about her or wonder if she was thinking about him. He tried not to get jealous when he saw her with Sloan and he tried, really tried, to get over her. By the time the Cheif announced that he and his wife were renewing their vows and invited the surgical staff to the ceremony, he'd gotten to the point where it didn't bother him that Sloan was her date. She and Sloan were friends. He didn't have a problem with that. Friends were allowed to go to this kind of thing together.

With that in mind he asked Izzie to be his date.

Next time: Not exactly sure. Could have something to do with Mark and Addison. She thinks they're just friends, but does he?

Coming up: I have the rest of the story planned out but I'm not exactly sure how many chapters it will need to get it all in. It will probably run to about twenty. Most of the rest of the story takes place at the wedding. Should be fun. I'll try to write some more Addison P.O.V. since I haven't done too much of that lately. More Derek, Mark, Meredith and a little bit of Izzie. Will Addison and Alex end up together? Will she end up with Mark? Will they both end up alone? Life is full of mysteries.

As always, review and tell me what you think. I am going away for a week again, in order to duke it out with 20 teams from across Canada for National Improv Theater Surpremacy. This is a huge deal for me. The audiences run at about 1000 people and you have to make up pretty much everything in the spur of the moment. Some people would find this nerve-wraking. I find it very exciting. Anyway I will not be able to update during this time but I hope to find lots of shiny new reviews when I get home. Coming back and finding that only three people have reviewed does not get me very excited about writing so... REVIEW. It's in your best interests.