DISCLAIMER: I don't own The Outsiders!
The result of more Kool-Aid drinking…
Sodapop Curtis rolled out of bed and down the hall into his living room to find none other than his younger brother Ponyboy making out with his shoe.
"DOUBLE YOO TEE EFF, PONYBOY!?" Soda yelled, shocked and dismayed by his brother's vile act.
Ponyboy leaped away from his shoe with a surprised look on his face. "No…No, you don't understand, Soda! H-HE WAS ALL OVER ME! He wouldn't take 'No' for an answer!"
It was obvious this was an unsatisfying answer for Sodapop P. Curtis. "I THOUGHT I KNEW YOU, PONYBOY! BUT I GUESS I WAS WRONG!"
Ponyboy was now starting to get angry with his brother. Soda could sense this; he began to back away. Ponyboy charged across the living room with the intent to give his brother a senseless beating, but unfortunately Pony tripped over his make-out partner and broke a nail. "OHMAGAWD! YOU SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME?" He yelled, sobbing, and crawled into the couch.
Soda felt as if he had just been slapped across the face. He collapsed and began to bawl while pounding on the hard wood floor. That was when Two-Bit slithered out of the drain in the kitchen sink and trotted into the living room. "Boy, why do you cry?" He asked, kneeling down to Soda's level.
Soda buried his face in Two-Bit's shoulder and blubbered, "I'VE LOST MY SHADOW!"
Two-Bit pondered this for a moment. "Well here!" He said finally, handing him the thimble he'd taken from the QuikTrip. "Have a kiss!"
Soda looked at the kiss in his hand. "Oh, Keith, you shouldn't have!" He exclaimed and pulled his friend into an embrace.
That was when Steve dropped from the ceiling Mission Impossible-style. Steve looked at the two, wide-eyed. "SODIE! HOW COULD YOU?" He yelled, his eyes brimming with tears. Soda pushed himself away from Two-Bit and shoved his kiss in his pants.
"Steve you don't understand!" Soda exclaimed, pleading. "He was all over me! He wouldn't take 'No' for an answer!"
"Oh, Soda!" Steve said. "Oh, I knew I could trust you!" The two greasers ran across the living room to each other in slow motion, the Chariots of Fire theme playing in the back ground.
Two-Bit was not happy about this reunion. He pulled out his firearm and aimed. "Forty-four Magnum, it's the most powerful handgun in the world, and it can blow your head clean off. Let me ask you a question: Do you feel lucky, punk? Well do ya?"
Soda and Steve stared at the gun in their friend's hand, awaiting their end. That was when Dallas Winston entered through the kitchen, as always closely followed by Johnny Cade. This entrance alarmed Two-Bit in the extreme, causing him to accidentally fire the weapon at Johnny. Johnny fell to the ground and uttered only two words to Dallas before meeting his death,
"Venereal…disease…"
Dallas pulled the young boy close and began to weep. "Well wax my back and slap my booty!" Steve yelled at the sight. This reminded Two-Bit to fire at Steve. Now both Steve Randle and Johnny Cade lie dead at his hands.
Dallas and Soda were now quite angered at the murder of their friends. Dally grabbed the nearest weapon, which was a fish and slapped the greaser with it. Hard. Sodapop grabbed the kiss, jumped on top of Two-Bit and began to shove it down his throat. Both Dally and Soda continued to pummel the funnyman, Dally slapping him with a fish and Soda shoving kisses down his throat.
Now back out in drive way was where Darry sat in his truck. Although it was still morning, he had finished his shift at both jobs and had pulled a muscle at work. He was in dire need of one of Soda's backrubs. He climbed out of the car and walked up the porch steps. He opened the front door and stepped into the entry way. He walked into the living room and was quite shocked at what he saw.
"GODDAMMIT! WHY IS IT ALWAYS MY HOUSE?"
FIN.