You should know what you're getting into

(Bella's POV)

"Alice?"

"Yes Bella?" Alice responded, but she looked a little dis-heartened. Edward had told her no makeover. Or else.

"We should do something fun besides just sitting her and being bored." I said, I could almost hear a whine in my tone.

Alice's eyes glazed over, I grabbed onto her shoulders, supporting her, while she was in her vision-trance. When she opened her eyes she looked excited, and she looked somewhat… evil as if she had a plan up her sleeve.

"How would you like to hear embarrassing stories about this family, you're going to need some form of blackmail when you become a member of this family."

"alright," I said excitedly.

"Who do you want to hear about first?" Alice inquired.

"Hmmm," I said, my hand making a lop-sided 'L' under my chin while I contemplated. "Carlisle; I want to hear about Carlisle." I said at last.

"Well, we have caught Carlisle numerous times in the big bathtub in his and Esme's bathroom playing with a rubber duck and a toy boat screaming like a little four year old and playing 'Moby Duck'." Alice said, and she giggled, remembering the event.

I doubled over with laughter and a single tear came out of my eye. "Jasper," I managed to say before the giggles enveloped me again. Alice gave me a look that meant 'I'm not continuing until you shut up' and I quieted at once.

"Jasper likes to try on my dresses while Rose and I go shopping and he enjoys putting eyeliner on dolls." Said Alice; no doubt she'd had a vision of it and never told him. I laughed even harder than when I heard about Carlisle, but no tears escaped my eyes.

"Esme," I said, calming myself at once.

"Esme secretly likes to watch 'pokemon' on Saturday mornings, and when no one is home and she is finished cleaning she runs around saying things like 'gotta catch 'em all' and 'Pikachu, thunderbolt!' I seriously think that she is pretending to catch pokemon."

This time I let a laugh escape my lips, louder than before and I could hear it echoing off the walls of the house as Alice put her hand over my mouth. She wanted to make sure that no one heard me. I felt bad laughing at Esme… but oh god, it was hilarious!

"R- Rosalie."

"Rosalie enjoys spreading rumors about herself, saying it's some other girl who she had caught flirting with Emmett and making pictures of her in some tight outfit saying something nasty about herself, then running off to the principle and pretending to be upset about it."

I chuckled softly, typical Rosalie.

"Emmett."

"Emmett likes to go find fields of flowers to skip through and pick the prettiest flower to stick behind his ear, and if he can't find one he goes to Pets Mart to play with the baby kittens."

At this I laughed uncontrollably and I could feel the tears rolling down my cheeks.

"I don't suppose I get to say 'Alice' do I?"

"Not a chance."

"Edward then."

"Alright. Edward has one of those dolls who talk, and their eyes move, and you 'feed' them and they pee and everything. It's like a baby born or something. Well, that thing was like his WHOLE life before you came, and now it's pretty much all he does when he's here. We used to claim that he had falled in love with a piece of plastic. He named her Trixie."

I couldn't help it. I was shaking with laughter, and some time later, it could have been minutes, or it could have been hours, I wasn't sure I heard the other Cullen's returning.

I sped down the stairs into Edward's arms and pretended to be mad.

"I thought we didn't have any secrets."

"What are you tal--"

"You never told me about your ex-girlfriend!" I saw Alice shaking with laughter behind me.

"Huh?" Edward said, eying his family, only Alice and Jasper, who had joined her in laughter seemed to know what I was talking about.

"I guess I'll let you play stupid as long as you introduce me to her."

"What in the world are you talking about Bella?"

"I want to meet this Trixie who occupied your life before I was here."

All of the Cullens burst out in laughter and if Edward could have blushed he would have, then his head snapped around and he yelled.

"ALICE!"

A/N: Alright, I'd like to know who's secret you liked the best.

No more for today, but I'm either going to put up Alice and the Stock Market or Mike's stupidity next.

AatSM- Alice causes the stock market crash in 1929.

MS- mike tries to hit on Bella and tries to force her to do 'things' with him. The Cullens find out and decide to pay him a 'visit'

Tell me which one you want me to type first:D