Ok, now we can start moving on to the plot so buckle your seatbelts, slap on your shades and get ready to, oh whatever you people get the idea, it's time for chapter two of course.

Chapter 2: Two masterminds and a hippie

"Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!" the crazed laughter echoed through the woods of Montreal, Canada causing snow to fall from their branches and a local moose heard to stop in their tracks. As soon as he was finished with his little laugh fest, Albert Crocker reached on top of his mantle and grabbed the first genie abode. Holding the lava lamp triumphantly over his head, he declared,

"They let me out of the straightjacket, they pushed me out of that cushy, gray room, and they left me here unsupervised! (suckers) And now, let the whole world know (or at least the moose in the vicinity) that I ALBERT CROCKER, am finally able to rub these lamps that have been kept from me for so long (probably with good reason) and expose the genies within!...GENIES!!!!" Giving one last involuntary spaz for the day, he rubbed the lava lamp.

"Yes, YES! It's working!" He cried jubilantly. The lamp started to float as it glowed ominously. Aqua blue smoke poured almost endlessly through the top. The large sillhouette of a male figure could be seen through all the chaos the lamp was making. It glowed powerfully but swiflty faded into a being that was far less frightening-Norm, the 50,000 year old jerk (who incidentally had it out for Canada...ooh, not good Crockypoo)

Uncle Albert cocked his head to the side, confused. 'Is this what genies normally look like?' he thought to himself.

It was definitly a male genie. His curly, black hair was held in place with a golden fez. A pair of stylish black shades covered his mischeivous violet eyes. What he wore for a shirt was an aqua blue uh...kind of a...vest...thing? (oh c'mon do any of you Norm fans really know what that thing is called?) Around his middle was just a plain, red scarf and he was'nt wearing any pants because as we all know, genies have tails (well, most of them as you'll find out soon) and in this case, it just happened to be an aqua blue color. (He really likes that color does'nt he?)

The genie scanned his surroundings for a second before his eyes fell on our favorite crazy Crocker, who was staring up at him with a creepy grin on his face. Norm had long since given up hope that someone would rub his lamp and had'nt looked at the insane Canadian for a while. The last thing he remembered of this guy was a straightjacket and a pillowy room, and he had to admit the scenery had drastically improved.

At last remembering himself, Norm grinned a somewhat cheesy grin and whipped out an index card that read 'Genie Intro' on the back.

"Hello 'insert human's name here' I am NORM, the all powerful genie!" As he spoke, a sign apeared above his head reading 'Norm the Magical Genie'. It was a pretty cool looking sign until the 'm' in 'Norm' swung loose and dangled before completely falling off.

"And for freeing me from the lamp, you get three rule free wishes! And-"

"EXCELLENT!!!! They did'nt believe me, they said you did'nt exist but I knew better! I knew you were real, I knew that---GENIES EXIST!" (whoops, sorry people, that was his last involuntary spaz for the day...well, maybe not but you all like to read about him spazzing anyway don't ya?)

Norm raised his eyebrows, "Oh boy, I bet your a bundle of fun at parties are'nt ya fruit cup? 'And for the closing entertainment ladies and gentlemen, here to show you what not to do on a date, Albert Crocker with his famous imitation of what a shrink can do to you!"

he smirked, "Bet you could get some money that way and buy yourself a bigger house, this place is smaller than my lamp!"

Uncle Albert scowled. He did not like where this was going, that conceited genie was already giving him lip and he had'nt even had time to make a silly and pointless wish...like a giant sandwich!

"Don't start getting all smart with me...er...what did you say your name was?"

eyeroll "Norm"

"Oh Yeah, Norm. Don't start getting all smart with me Norm, I can make any wish I want, and my first one could be to make sure you wish you were never born!" he vented.

"Gee, if there's anything I like more than a threat, it's a threat thats empty," Norm shot back with ease. Uncle Albert glared at him but dismissed it as he grabbed the other lamp from the mantle, eyes gleaming menacingly.

"Ah, say what you want Norm but maybe THIS genie will listen better and not give me so much cheek eh?" Furiously rubbing the golden lamp, he cackled a high-pitched and wicked cackle.

'Geez, the weirdo sounds more like a woman than a man...maybe he's a witch, he does resemble Alden Bitteroot...' norm wondered to himself as he watched the lunatic rub the lamp as though he was trying to break it.

Dark green smoke poured out of the spout on the lamp, just as it had done with Norm's. Unlike Norm's entrance however, the genie within did'nt appear with quite so much mystery and grace. Infact, as the smoke was clearing, all Uncle Albert could hear was a loud coughing noise.

"Oh MAN, I really gotta get that smoke machine thing replaced. I just spent a fortune on it and its busted already, pouring out WAY more than its s'posed to!"

A man's hand appeared and waved away the smoke until it was all gone. It was another male genie with shoulder-length dark green hair, a short beard just starting to grow, and a little fuzz above his upper lip. Certainly alot younger than Norm, but he was dressed in more of a genie-like garb. He donned a dark green vest that only covered his shoulders, not a back or a front. Around his middle was tied a lighter green scarf which led only to his dark green tail. Over his eyes were round glasses and his eyelids drooped heavily. All in all, Norm thought he looked more like a hippie and belonged in the 70s era.

"sorry 'bout that guys, not the kind of entrance I had hoped for-oh crud, not my hair!!!!" he whined, taking a comb out of his vest and commencing to fix the stringy mop on his head. He snapped his fingers and a hand mirror suddenly floated in front of him. He snapped his fingers again and a black fez materialized in his hand. Gingerly pulling half of his hair back with the comb, the genie clasped the fez into place and smiled at himself in the mirror. It disappeared and he spun around to face the other two, who were staring at him like he had spiders crawling out of his heavily pierced ears.

"What?" asked the genie completely oblivious to the fact that they found odd that he loved his hair that much. Just then, Norm started to snicker rudely and soon he was laughing. Soon, Uncle Albert could'nt contain himself any longer either and started cracking up too.

"What's so funny?" he demanded, propping his hands on his hips and eyeing them curiously. Crocker tried to smooth it over by saying between gasps of chuckles,

"Oh-hehehe--n-nothing-mmph HAHA!" Actually covering his mouth in an attempt to stifle the giggles, he had to prop himself on Norm, who had long since ceased laughing and hastily moved out from under him causing Crocker to fall to the floor. Finally picking himself up, the crazed old man blushed a deep shade of red and sweatdropped when he saw the other two looking at him with arched eyebrows.

"Are you done?" Inquired the other genie, who's name still had'nt been divulged.

"er...yes,"

Good, 'cause I still hav'nt introduced myself yet. Ahem, GREETINGS MORTAL, I AM THE MIGHTY AND ALL-POWERFUL GENIE OF THE LAMP! But you can call me Coxy, short for Coxcomb but I hate that name,"

Norm smirked, "Well, whadya know, the guy's name fits his personality,"

"Huh?" asked Coxy, bewildered once more. "DON'T start laughing again!" he warned holding up his hand.

Albert was so wrapped up in all this, he had almost forgotten about his third and final genie. Grabbing the crimson bottle from it's place on the mantle, he really studied it for the first time since he had aquired it some years ago. It was beautiful, made entirely of scarlett stained glass, and stopped with a hand-cut jeweled cork. Careful not to drop this genie's precious abode, Uncle Albert gently rubbed it.

Instantly, the room was filled with crimson smoke that seemed to wrap itself around them all. He dropped the bottle and as it floated, lightening seemed to flash from inside it. The lights in the room started to flicker and a strange wind seemed to come from nowhere. As if that were'nt terrifying enough, a woman's wicked laugh penetrated the entire house, causing the floor to shake. Suddenly, as soon as it had come, the noise and racket stopped and as the smoke cleared for a third time, they were all able to get a good look at the being Uncle Albert had unleashed.

It was a female genie this time, but she was different-ALOT different. She had shoulder-length, crimson hair that was half pulled back into a fez, like both of the others. She wore a red and dark-purple harem girl's top with short, puffy sleeves that hung around her shoulders by gold beads. Her arm and wrist cuffs were silver, not gold, and they were curvy not straight like the others. She had a belly ring shaped like a lightning bolt and a studded belt that hung down on one side. With all of these garments, she would've looked like a full genie-if it were'nt for her legs. Yes, red jeans that flared out at the bottom with flames printed on the cuffs. As if that were'nt enough, she also wore a fairy's crown that floated an inch above her head and was striped with red and deep purple. (her two main colors) and fairy wings--well, sorta. These were more square shaped and hung about a foot down her back. Though despite all of these things that might have made her look comical, the hybrid was still eerie. Yes she is a hybrid, half fairy half genie, folks.

Her blazing violet eyes rested directly upon the trio and she smirked. Tilting her purple sunglasses down she flew right up to the three and looked them all over before asking slowly and carefully,

"So who was it?"

To be continued...

Me: Ha! Chapter two is finally done!!

Uncle Albert: Aw, c'mon author what the heck is going on, eh? A sarcastic wiseguy, a hippie, and an eerie hybrid are not what I had in mind!

Me: Well, that's watcha get for tricking the insane asylum into thinking you are sane.

Uncle Albert: ...you win this round author but I will be back...as soon as I turn off that darn curling iron! stalks off

Me: shrugs shoulders

Anyway, chapter three should be acomin' round the mountain pretty soon so you don't need to be suspended like this for too long, my dear readers!