CHAPTER IV
TheSolitude of Death
Naruto still held on to the little flicker of life he had inside him, yet it felt so petite and fragile that, after ten hours of hanging onto his life, his body had finally shut down and he can no longer feel anything. His eyes still looked around in despair, looking around for any sign of life, anything that would tamper with his distress. He tried to wiggle his fingers, hopelessly trying to will his limbs out of entropy.
'Crap… stupid frikkin' mission,' he bitterly thought to himself, his face frozen with paralysis, 'When I get home I am SO going to kill, no not kill, MURDER Hokage-sama!'
At least his sense of humor didn't fade by the significance of the situation.
The hermit had gone off somewhere: earlier, before this indignant frustration kicked in, Naruto just turned his head sideways for a moment seeing that his neck felt a bit sore, before realizing that the old hermit left him. He just disappeared without any traces of scent or visual evidence. He just left him to die in this miserable place.
'Stupid flute-throated…' that event just made him even bitter inside, the hermit didn't even stick a piece of BREAD in his mouth!
Before the hermit left, however, he allowed Naruto to babble like the big-mouth he was without saying something himself. The hermit just listened to him with an intensity of a man who had lived through catastrophes to know not to interrupt a dead man talking, especially somebody like Naruto. He talked about the latest book of the pervert-sennin; talked about ramen; talked about idiotic things which came into his mind like feathery touches of nostalgia. The only subject he decided not to mention was the subject of his personal affections. His love life. Sakura-chan. The girl who failed to receive his second kiss…
It would be too painful to talk and even think about her going out with another man after his imminent death. Hell, Naruto even told the hermit about how he's still a virgin, and something about wanting to score before his miserable and lonely death. THAT over telling the hermit all about Sakura.
Death— that word scared him; he couldn't help but think of the death of a dashing, and not to mention handsome, young man who was heavily outclassed by two bumbling idiots, so there he was, trying to hold on as he clung to the balcony of life using his middle finger. Yes, middle finger.
For a fleeting moment it felt like he was revolting against death itself. He was spitting on the face of death with no fear; giving death the middle finger; giving death HELL. But he felt tired. His brain wanted to give in, just throw in the towel and watch the people who used to surround him with love go on with their mortal lives. He wanted to close his drowsy eyes, but his heart failed to understand what he saw. He told himself to let go, go to sleep and wake in an eternity beyond comprehending, but his heart failed to listen… his will refused to break.
That's Naruto for you.
Five hours turned into one whole day of conscious rigor mortis until he reached the beginning of the very next day, plus thirty excruciating minutes. Two whole days in a silent war against death without food, water, and sleep— so he had to give in somehow…
Before five minutes of his apparent 'death', Naruto tried to strengthen his will by holding onto the image of Sakura and their precious kiss, even if it was in the most unromantic place: the Ichiraku Ramen Bar. It did strengthen him for a while, but after four minutes of painful longing and spite he finally accepted his excruciating fate.
He was going to die.
No, he's already dead.
Damn it.
Damn it.
Damn it.
'I'd just find a way to live again, I don't care if I ended up in hell…' he told himself, the voice in his mind cracking from despair and exhaustion. Yes, he'll find a way to live again, even if it takes him years of abandoning something, even ramen, it was worth the sacrifice to get back where he left off.
That little thought gave him some strange peace within himself. Yes, he'll find a way to live again.
As long as she's there and his dreams can be rebuilt he'll find a way.
Because a first kiss was just too short for satisfaction.
And besides, he was one of the candidates for Hokage; he was a champion.
'Yes, I'll find a way to live again,' murmured the splintered voice in his head until it repeated like a mantra in his mind:
'Yes, I'll find a way to live again…'
The clouds looked dark tonight. Must be rain. And those drops of dew must be water. Suddenly those two days in the dark felt like two hours until it left his memories of those days empty like it never happened. No, it didn't happen. It was just a nightmare.
And he'll find a way to live again…
Kakashi will have to find a girlfriend. Sakura will obviously wait for him while Sasuke will find peace, and accept that he was the one who killed his brother… and everybody else will be the same.
He finally closed his eyes on that day of acceptance…
For a short moment he felt the world shift beneath him, like time turning into something else vague yet promising. The grass under him turned into something soft and warm, the sounds of rain melted into complete solitude, and the darkness of the clouds in front of his eyes became darker than night. He also noticed that the smell of grass under his nose dissipated to the smell of nothing.
His fatigue was slowly being lifted out of his beaten body, but his bewilderment still left him feeble, and all the more pessimistic. What the hell just happened? He sensed that he wasn't in the forest anymore, but where was he? He couldn't put a finger on it until he tried to open his eyes but couldn't because of the painful sting in his head. He tried to adjust his senses on the world around him and succeeded in that simple feat. Naruto's throat gave off a raspy sound which gave reality to his confusion. Was it all a dream? But if it was a dream then how come he was in the hospital? What the hell— just happened?
He forced his body to sit upright, suddenly bemused by the little sounds of his spine crackling while he did so. Maybe they found him in that place… and maybe Hokage-sama cured him of the poison… and maybe he didn't have to find a way to live again…
Naruto let his mind absorb the good news. He was alive. He was…
Wait, then what in the world was the use for all those stupid promises he told himself earlier? In this instant's point of view, Naruto couldn't help but feel stupid of loosing his sanity in the forest. But before he could regain himself, he turned his head slowly to the left when he noticed someone next to him.
Sakura-chan?
Sakura was indeed standing near his bed, a daffodil hanging limp in her hand, about to fall into the vase but couldn't because of the apparent force she was putting on the stalk. She looked shocked, so Naruto naturally guessed that she was worried sick for him while he was out cold.
"Sakura-chan?" his voice rasped, his joy very audible,
Unfortunately, she didn't look all that happy. She didn't look like she felt anything at all while just standing there, hands stuck in front of her and the daffodil still hanging there in her palm. Her mouth fell agape while her eyes shined with sick tears, tears which failed to fall after years of lament. Her breath came into faint gasps of surprise as his blue eyes scrutinized her with his usual blind attention.
"SAKURA-CHAN!" he jumped from the bed and hugged Sakura with all his strength. Strangely his legs failed to cooperate with him, so they ended up falling into his bed with a soft 'thud'. Maybe the old hag failed to finish her curing of his paralysis…
"Wha—?" on the other hand, Sakura felt a bit alienated,
"Ohmanyouwon'timaginewhatI'vebeenthrough!" he said all in one breath as Sakura tried to struggle out of his death grip, "I—I wasoutanall… andand… thesetwoguys… andanoldguywiththeflute…"
She finally escaped from his bear hug and stood up stiffly, "NARUTO!"
That caught him off guard…
"Whaaa—" he said with that same energy he always used, "Something wrong, Sakura-chan?"
She didn't answer; her eyes stuck looking at his rumpled white bed sheets.
"Why?" he asked sounding more perplexed than hurt,
He honestly didn't know what got into her. The first thing that pierced his mind was that maybe she decided she didn't want—this. That she didn't want him at all. But that wasn't the case since he refused to believe that she was this heartless. I mean, she WAS over with Sasuke, right?
"No really, is it…"
"Naruto—" she murmured, her eyes still refusing to meet his,
A long moment of silence created some strong tension in the air, of which he never felt with Sakura while they were together. They were best pals. They were great partners. But… why?
He saw something glint between her fingers… she never wore a ring—before… right?
"Naruto…" she whispered, "You were in a coma for five years."
… crap…
AN: I am a sadistic little jackass. I guess that's the turning point for the worst for our little Lancelot, Loins of Love, Naruto. Oh, plus, if some constructive criticism is needed, please add whatI need to change, THANK YOU . Don't own Naruto, by the way.
Please review...