A/N: Thank you to all you wonderful people who reviewed this chapter last time I posted it! I have gone back and made some very minor adjustments (spelling, punctuation, the whole 'slut' scene) as was pointed out to me. So, please continue to review because I do make changes!

CHAPTER THREE:

Once we arrived at Discipline, for that is what the chatty young girl I rode with called it, Sanny or what ever she was called, helped my to dismount. Having never ridden before, I nearly toppled over on the wonderfully solid ground. The dark girl just a bit younger than me seemed to agree with my thoughts of horse riding, or that is what her relieved expression caused me to think.

"Come inside, Sandry," that was her name! "will put away Tabbs," said Lark, referring to the horse I had ridden back upon. "Rosethorn and I are going to talk to Nico before he leaves and it's Tris's turn to make dinner, but I'm sure one of the girls can find something for you to do."

I smiled quietly and thanked her, relieved that even sinners like them could manage to respect my ways. I could never do anything with a male, let alone one of mature age! The though alone brings red embarrassment to my face, but I hide it by seeming interested in the embroidered hangings on the wall. I ask where they bought them, but didn't listen for a response.

Luckily my face had cooled before the talkative girl began showing me up the stairs, the calm one following silently behind.

Sandry showed me to the roof . The moment I poked my head outside I felt the warm, pastel sunset welcoming me and quickly retreated. The chatty girl asked a question I didn't hear and the dark girl eyed me oddly. Sandry led me to her room. Again I asked about the embroidery, and there was an odd tangle of string I asked about to pass the time, but instead of listening, began fighting the urge to throw open the window and breath in the light. Soon my eyes caught in the glimmer on her hair, the warm, friendly glow that begged me to touch, to feel, to let out my own hair and feel it in my own.

I offered a quick, silently thought prayer and sunk into my Soul Chamber. The light was still so bright! But I knew I couldn't force it out, not yet. Soon, however, I would figure out how to put blinds up on the windows and lock them up, cover them in boards nailed down sturdily and sealed with the best mortar I knew of. Then I might be able to redeem myself.

Someone touched my arm, jerking me from my prayers. "Why do you wear no hair scarf?" the question popped from my mouth before I could stop it. The chatty girl, Sandry, looked surprised, then thoughtful. Slowly she replied,

"Well, in my culture it is expected for girls to wear their hair in an open, shown fashion, often put up in beautiful styles for formal events or simple braids to keep out of girls faces for every day wear," she looked at me hesitantly. "Why do you keep yours covered?"

My reply was quick and strong. "Because it is a sin not to. You are tempting men with your body."

How rude is that?! came Tris's angry voice in Sandry's mind. She practically accused you of being a slut!

I-I don't think she meant it like that… said Sandry, meekly trying to suppress her hurt and stand up for the new girl.

I'm with Sandry, came Daja's calm voice. I don't think Meg meant to aim it at Sandry personally. I don't think she even meant it to sound hurtful. I think it is just exactly what she has been brought up to believe.

But how could she always say exactly what she believes? People around here, not many believe that stuff. The Heriks, people who believe things like her, tried to convert people all over the Pebbled Sea, but not many believed, so they retreated to small settlements that are scattered around all of this continent-

That's it! interrupted Sandry suddenly. What if she's from one of those settlements? She glanced at Meg who was now starring unseeingly at the circle of threads Sandry had been explaining about. Meg was glowing a feint silvery light and had yet to notice Sandry had stopped talking.

She's meditating, Daja explained, seeing where Sandry was looking. She could be from one of those settlements, but I'm not sure there's even one around here. Hey, Tris, do you know?

Briar mentally sighed at being left out and Sandry could sense him return his attention to his plants, listening with only one ear to the conversation.

I don't know…AH! she cried out, horror struck, both mentally and physically. Right on her feet Little Bear had decided to empty his stomach.

"Oh, must've been those poison berries we passed by on the trail," said Lark. "Why don't you clean this up then go ask Rosethorn for something to feed Little Bear to make sure none of the berries stay in his system." And tossing Tris a towel Lark headed back to her workroom. Her three friends helped her out while Meg stared from the doorway into the fireplace where dinner was being cooked, and once again knelt on her knees to pray.

The flames, they reminded me of my fate. To burn in the fires of Zahairen's lair for eternity, in pain beyond imagination, beyond what any mortal could stand, but I would be kept alive by my soul's immortality. I prayed for forgiveness, guidance, help.

I had been praying more than ever before since on the road. Since I discovered my sins. Yet, still it hasn't been enough. I still feel the sinful joy at light, and I still cannot sense Maherik. Tonight, when the girls will not disturb me, I will pray for as long as I can. Perhaps I will discover how to block the windows of my soul chamber.