I'm getting just a tiny bit better at updating... right? Right?! (Why is no one agreeing with me?)
This fic won't be too long, perhaps no more than 10 chapters, so updating might be less... challenging? I don't know.
This chapter continues in Mai's POV (mostly because I haven't gotten much on Seto yet), but expect to see more Kaiba later on.
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Disclaimer: I don't own YGO.
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The sun was rising and dripping honeysuckle light over everything in a way that made Mai squint. She bridged a hand over her brow in order to give herself better sight, then, her arm becoming sore with the effort, she let it swing at her hip. Even if her retinas were scorched, it would be better than going back into that ice castle and retrieving her Gucci sunglasses. Kaiba could have them. Maybe he'd pawn them off to some sick Mai Kujaku fanatic or on the Internet. Mai didn't care what he did with his life anymore.
Of course, a great deal of the things in that penthouse belonged to her, but she didn't want her shit back. It pained her to admit it, but the majority of her belongings had been purchased with Kaiba's money. The deep reliance she had had on the uncaring man was enough to make her want to throw up, to such a degree that she felt sick at even the thought of bringing any of his gifts to her. Also, many of her things had been packed away, so she didn't want those things back. They were tainted by association: being packed up with Kaiba's computer was like a death sentence for her stereo. And Mai supposed she could do without, opting for only one huge suitcase jam-packed with a few items from her summer wardrobe plus undergarments, her toiletries, her purse and naturally her makeup kit. It was all for the best, she reasoned. The less reminders she had of her old life, the better. It was like a fresh start, with her as a stronger woman.
But unfortunately none of the stupid pedestrians seemed to understand that, as shown by the way they gaped at her. Some were less silent and were either perverted or just plain stupid.
There were three things Mai was equipped with for the busybodies who immediately identified her as the all-mighty Kaiba's woman and, even worse, deigned to come up to her for impromptu interrogations:
A heavy suitcase with wheels perfect for flattening toes as well as nosy people's questions right on their tongues.
An uncaring attitude, as if no one and nothing existed. (Mai was a champion at giving others the cold shoulder, perhaps even so much as to give Kaiba a run for his money. That was a laugh, giving him a run for his money. Money was perhaps the only thing the arrogant jerk cared about.)
And a hissed "Fuck off" if neither method worked.
But ignoring people was a little hard, especially with her appearance. Mai Kujaku was not only Kaiba's woman (or ex-woman, if she were to tell the general public and even perhaps undercover tabloid journalists--she'd caught a few familiar faces lurking in the bushes) but a once successful duelist. When the woman had given up the game for good, everyone from men who fantasied about her to hopeful young girls who'd looked up to her had asked her, "Why?"
Why? she asked herself with a wry smile. Because I'm an idiot, that's why.
But the Mai of one year ago hadn't said that. She couldn't believe that. Idiot was the farthest word from her vocabulary back then. The reason Mai had given for her early retirement was--
"Because I'm in love, and that's all I need."
"He's all I need," she whispered, eyes filling with tears. With a growl, she ground a fist into one eye, then the other. This was not part of the plan. She was supposed to be strong, not weak. But the thoughts of how she used to be danced around her.
Caring--
Smiling--
Happy.
Happy. When was the last time Mai had been so happy, she felt as if her heart would burst? She could almost remember, but the memory slipped from her grip tauntingly.
How she missed those days, those happy days...
I was only happy, Mai thought resolutely as she navigated her rolling suitcase over a speed bump in the asphalt, because I didn't know any better. Because I let my guard down. Because I was hopelessly, foolishly in love and nobody could tell me any different.
But the blonde vowed never to be that way ever again, even if she had to live a life of grim loneliness and suspicion. Even if she never tasted the sweetness of a smile or danced in the street for no reason or even kissed another man's lips. She was sure she wouldn't miss it. She hadn't before when all she relied on was herself and she had done just fine. There was no reason why she couldn't be that way again. And anyway, being independent and cold was much, much better than being vulnerably in love. Because women in love were foolish. Women in love believed in only the love they had for their significant other and the love they gave back in turn. Women in love had stars in their eyes and their fingers twirled around locks of hair, giggling and looking up at the ceiling, thinking that they were invincible. Women in love thought that love was the all-mighty talisman against any hardship. Women in love worshiped at one church, the church of Delirium, and although none of their prayers were answered, they kept coming back again and again, over and over in a cruel, vicious cycle.
Women in love were stupid.
Dangerous.
Ridiculous.
And they always, always, always ended up with nothing, yet stayed for old, dusty memories that meant nothing in the here-and-now.
We used to be so happy...
But Mai pushed the sentence down. Never again would she think about how good things used to be. What mattered now was how shitty things had gotten and that Mai had gotten herself out of it before she wasted her whole life on nothing.
Silence, nothingness... They couldn't do a thing for her.
And love couldn't do a damn thing for her now.
Because even if she loved him, love couldn't give her a place to live.
Mai stopped in the middle of the street, eyes wide as if in a daze.
That's right, she thought hazily as she looked around as if seeing things for the first time. I don't have a place to live.
She looked down once a violent wind started and gave her a reason to blush.
And I'm not wearing anything modest.
Truth be told, Mai could not be known to have owned anything that was even remotely modest, but this negligee was way more daring than her other sleepwear. Ignoring the snickers and lascivious stares, Mai pulled the fabric down over her hips. The huge slits up the sides made her feel even more self-conscious.
"That's right," she said with bitterness. "Oh, Mai, what a genius you are. Storming out like that without getting dressed. I can only imagine how I'll look on page seven. A huge view of me with my ass hanging out. Maybe I'll even earn two pages." The woman looked around, thinking of how much more tarnished Kaiba's reputation would be. After all, his woman was out and about in a dress that would make a hooker look like a nun--
So be it! she thought with a humorless laugh as she resumed her confident stride. Soon the rest of the world will find out I'm not his. Who gives a shit what anyone thinks anymore? Embarrassment indeed. I'll show you an embarrassment, Seto Kaiba! Come to think of it... Hadn't he tried to warn me? Mai mistily remembered Kaiba almost yelling something about her attire after she screamed at him from the pavement. The fight had gone on too quickly for her to be sure however. Mai couldn't really remember anything but her own red anger.
He probably wanted me to go upstairs like a good girl. Or, better yet, to get dressed, then leave him. Fucking prick. I can't stand him.
Off in the distance, she located a train station at what couldn't have been a more perfect time. The terminal had to have a bathroom where she could change, maybe fix herself up and even get something to eat while deciding on where she would live. Convincing herself that the change of clothes was due to a chill in the muggy summer morning and most definitely not because of embarrassment, Mai scurried to the large building and walked through the automatic doors.
The rushing coolness of the air-conditioned hall came in a huge breath upon her entrance. Mai sighed in relief, happy to be out of the hot sun as she quickly made her way past a Dunkin' Donuts and a ramen shop to the row of bathrooms to her left. The waxed floor made her stiletto heels echo even louder than usual at a time when Mai wished she were inconspicuous. (A surprising first for her.)
Everything was white, from the shiny tiled floor to the walls, to even the light bulbs overhead as she dashed into a waiting stall. A few young ladies, no older than sixteen Mai had guessed, were stationed around the generous mirror, giggling excitedly and talking about lip gloss. They were all clones of each other, with unnatural platinum blonde hair, deeply roasted skin from tanning beds, wild colored contacts and trendy yet skimpy clothes and platforms. Mai couldn't help thinking that they were every fashionista's horror story and almost said something, but decided against it. And anyway, with the way they'd disdainfully looked at her, she knew these girls considered Mai trashy and themselves to be fashion trailblazers. It was all right for them to have their little fantasy; Mai supposed everyone needed a lie to wholeheartedly believe. And anyway, she had more important things to think about.
With a cool click of the lock, there was nothing preventing Mai from dressing with the utmost privacy. She slid the sexy negligee up over her head and opened the suitcase for a clean pair of underwear and a bra. She had a little trouble getting the damn suitcase open since everything was balled up like cabbage heads in there, but along with undergarments she did find a nice pair of slacks and a dressy shirt to wear. (So she did have something modest after all!) The outfit was a little wrinkled, but she liked the look of the attire: crisp, clean, confident. Womanly and mature, not an outfit that was too trashy. Mai vowed to buy herself a new empowering wardrobe the next chance she got.
Which reminds me... Money. Money was very, very important to Mai right now. As she pulled on the gray slacks, she also went into her suitcase to fetch her black leather purse. Once she wrestled it open, she located her wallet and found her credit card. Since Mai didn't spend too extravagantly, she was sure her finances were okay, but she wanted to make sure. Clamping her mouth around the credit card, she threw the wallet back in with everything else and stuck her card into her pocket.
The woman couldn't help noticing how damn loud the teenagers were, giggling and gossiping. She could hear the splashing of water and peals of laughter as they targeted each other. At the same time she was pissed, Mai felt... jealous. She hadn't been so carefree when she was a child and she certainly wasn't carefree now. Kids have it so damn good, Mai thought sadly. They don't have to worry about a thing except whether Daddy will lend them his credit card and clothes and parties. And then they complain about it. Fucking pricks.
Their conversation held little to no interest for Mai since it didn't even sound like coherent speech.
Until her ear quivered with one name that was all too familiar.
"Hey Chloe, don't you think that guy Kaiba is mega hot?" one girl inquired, dragging her voice annoyingly forward in a high pitch over his name.
"Kaiba? Oh, he's pretty tasty," another girl giggled in the same fashion. "Not to mention a killer duelist."
"Duelist? Are you serious?! Forget about the dueling and think about his ass..."
His ass, huh. Mai leaned back against the wall where the toilet was. With a jagged smile, she mused, Well, can't disagree with ya there, sweetie. The blonde closed her eyes with a sigh.
"What about his eyes?"
"His hair?"
"His trench coat?!" the third girl finished in a super annoying screech.
Enough of this. Mai buttoned her crisp linen shirt, folded the long sleeves up to her elbows and walked out with as much dignity and grace as she could muster with a clumsy suitcase and after just hearing the gossip. With shock emblazoned on their faces, the girls whirled around with gaping mouths. Taking no notice of them, Mai calmly approached the sink and placed her hands under it. She pumped liquid pink soap with one hand and rubbed them together in a rich lather.
"Hey, isn't that Kaiba's woman?"
With a sigh, Mai straightened up. Still looking in the mirror, she shot back with, "I'm nobody's woman."
Frightened yet still making a feeble attempt to look tough, the gang of girls glowered at the svelte blonde before making their giggling exit. They gained confidence after their exit, yelling insults once Mai was out of view.
"You can't be serious!"
"Yeah, that's seriously gross."
"What a bitch."
Whatever, Mai thought as she splashed some cold water on her face. I don't give a fuck what anybody says. I'm nobody's woman. Not anymore. I'll never belong to anyone but myself again.
She dried off her face with a wad of paper towels, then examined herself in the glass. The cumbersome suitcase that she'd lugged out with her was pawed through once again. Now that she'd actually taken a close gander at her appearance, Mai grew worried. She looked haggard, tired and pissed all at once. She did not want anyone to see her this way: defeated and helpless. Instead, she would be confident, haughty and, most of all, a tough ass bitch.
Before Mai could decorate her face, she had to spray on her signature scent. Finally she found it: an old-fashioned glass bottle with only a little bit of the amber liquid. She frowned upon seeing that the glass was caved in like a huge crater on the side of the moon. Of course she supposed it wouldn't have fared very well being grouped with clothes and her heavy makeup kit, but the broken bottle saddened her nonetheless. She loved this particular scent the most. It was inviting and warm, with the sharp scent of lemon rind. The addition of the strange fruit made the perfume that much more empowering. Feeling moisture on her fingertips, she placed the bottle on the counter. Mai spread her fingers over her throat and dabbed some on her earlobes just in case people found some need to get a whiff of her ears. (Which was highly likely, considering who she was.)
Next came her hair. After finding a comb, Mai began her assault on the tornado. It took a lot of forceful persuading, but her hair finally gave up the battle and behaved itself. I think I'll pin my hair up, Mai decided, coiling the waterfall of shiny gold locks into a loose bun, leaving some strand loose to frame her face. She liked the way she looked with her hair up: professional and classy.
Mai forced herself to smile as she applied a coat of red lipstick on her upper and lower lip. Then came her eyelashes twirled in mascara, then a light powder of lilac eyeshadow, foundation to fix her blotchy skin and finally some blush to cover her pale complexion.
With a sigh, she looked down at the ruined bottle. Ruined, just like everything else in her life. But she had to keep moving forward. There was no time for lament, sorrow or even tears.
The ornate calligraphy of the perfume bottle was horribly crushed except for two letters.
"Audacity," Mai said softly with a dangerous smile as she swept up the ruined perfume bottle in her hand and tossed it into the rubbish bin.
She had plenty of that. Now and always, she would be the reckless woman she used to be.
Full of life, vibrancy and audacity.
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Mai Kujaku sat at the food court, delicately picking at the inexpensive cranberry scone she'd ordered. To be honest, it tasted like crap, and anyway, Mai didn't have much of an appetite. She blew an annoyed sigh from her lips as she leaned back in her chair.
"Maybe I should leave the country," Mai muttered with a sip from her bottle of flavored water. But before she could expand on the thought, a shadow fell over her.
"When I just got back? That would be pretty rude."
Mai looked up with astonished eyes. When the shock passed, she allowed herself a laugh.
"I can't believe it. Where the hell have you been?"