CHAPTER VII
A Field of Butterflies
Marriage— a beautiful bond between two people, and something that was perfected by some unyielding promise which both persons agreed to sign with their golden ink; a beautiful resonance of both flawless affection and destruction at the same time, and one of the most essential things, in a world where everybody dies a painful death every second, every day. It's times like these when Naruto felt jealous for his two friends…
Specifically, Nara Shikamaru and Yamanaka Ino…
Ino giddily invited him to her wedding with 'Shika', which was totally unexpected for the last person Naruto thought was likely less… changeable. Shikamaru was supposed to be angry or even afraid of women… so how come he decided to marry one of the females who were… cold-heartedly terrifying?
Yamanaka INO?
Change was something susceptible and he knew that, however, wouldn't the change be limited? That when he survives five long years on a bed doing nothing but breathe and then finally wake up from suspended animation— would it seem like a lifetime had passed before his comatose eyes? — wouldn't the change stop to a certain degree where some certain aspects of one person won't change? But after a few more days of TRYING to cope with his new life, Naruto always notices something new about his old friends once they paid him a visit in his recently scoured apartment: Iruka talked too much about his new girlfriend and barely had enough time to talk to him (AN: I can't imagine Iruka with a girlfriend…); Shikamaru cooked edible meals, while rubbing off his laziness on Ino; Rock Lee was saner and Ten Ten was too motherly; Chouji was already married with kids; Kiba was on a mission and so was Kakashi…
And Shino was just too talkative…
But one particular change served as his emotional burden: they have forgotten about him. They have ALL forgotten about him, to the point that when the wedding finally happened, Naruto was just sitting in the middle of their joyous revelry doing nothing but play with his fingers or admire the event, which took place under the stars and the amazing glow of lover's tinsel town. He just sat there doing nothing but sulk silently, and nobody bothered to notice.
He honestly didn't expect his loved ones to forget him, but deep in his mind he knew they left him for dead because it was the right thing to do; so they could just get on with their lives like normal people who went to work instead of stopping by the hospital, and cry over his sullen corpse of a body for five winding years... but why? Why invite him to a wedding where he was obviously uninvited to everything else? Why won't they talk to him, or call him up and ask him to do something stupid like run around naked in a drunken frenzy? Everybody else were either talking or dancing, some were even playing drinking games, and some were secretly kissing under an oak…
… While others drunkenly staggered out of the party, for the newly married couple's sake. Everybody was doing something either dumb or cool— except him.
Everybody forgot to acknowledge Uzumaki Naruto.
So he just sat there: his elbows resting on the richly colored table, palms under his chin while staring into space like a bored iguana— that is— until he saw her again. He turned his head away for the umpteenth time, telling himself not to look and never touch, but he couldn't help but glimpse at the beautiful wonder which he grew to adore from some normal immature infatuation to the real thing. His eyes sauntered, seemingly caressing her skin, her curves, her lips, the gentle contours of her face, all in a bloody distance. Her eyes.
She smiled a bit and nodded at him. He tried to respond to her lovely gesture but couldn't since she poisoned him again with her suffocating charisma.
Naruto's mouth slightly gaped to a thin line, 'Should I?' he thought, 'Naah, I shouldn't. I'm gonna end up either hurt or… have my face rubbed against the floor, again.'
His head jerked to his left, trying to at least look ordinary and casual—let's just say that his feet, which suddenly tapped the ground like a woodpecker, made him look more… uncool.
And like what happened when he met with Uchiha, he just COULDN'T take it anymore, 'I gotta talk to her somehow…'
He roughly pulled his seat away from the table, stood up and cautiously strolled towards her table. All he could hear was his breath as his ears pulled away from reality for just a minute, also trying to hear her precious and gentle voice. He was standing behind her now, a couple of meters more and his palms would be touching her shoulder… until he stopped; time stopped. And he froze.
"You—"
"Sakura,"
Naruto's head automatically swerved left when he heard HIS voice, his gentle breathing became rapid and incensed by his rival's unsolicited voice.
Sasuke.
He was about to stride next to the 'Precious Uchiha' and punch his lights out unexpectedly, when something else stopped him other than his conscience: a boy appeared behind Sasuke's back and placed himself on his mother's lap, "I wanna go 'ome… oka-san," whined the little one,
Naruto looked away, injured by the spectacle which played right in front of him. He was unseen by either of them, and for that he felt disappointed and relieved at the same time. She was happy now; whether or not her life is without him he'll allow her to be happy, even if her husband was his mortal enemy, and even if she had the child who looked unquestionably like his father, seemingly failing to gather any attributes from his mother.
"We'll get home later," replied Sakura affectionately as Sasuke smiled upon them, placing a hand on her shoulder proudly,
"I love you," Sasuke whispered in her ear with a flicker of madness,
"Me too," she replied just as lovingly as he,
The least Naruto can do right now is leaving them in peace, but this is definitely the very last straw…
Naruto just lied there with his arms spread out so that he could feel like he was flying away from this hell-hole. The suit he wore earlier during the wedding was totally rumpled ever since he ran away from the party, and into the stillness of his hiding place. His left hand was clinging to a bottle of sake: six inches filled and fairly strong, like a lifeline about to snap. He never turned to alcohol before, but this was something he NEVER felt in his existence. Silently, a broken voice found his lips as he remembered a few words from a song he once memorized with Sakura:
'Fly, fly,
Never come back,
Learn in your heart
The skies tainted black…'
That song was something he and Sakura used to sing after they heard it from some guy they were supposed to protect. They sung it every time one of their missions ended until it became some sort of a diversion beside the chaos around them five years ago. But Sakura was missing right now, so he just sung it to himself again and again without the usual laughter which usually followed after the tune— replaced by the bitterness which his face now portrayed.
Sakura-chan, Sakura-chan… why didn't she wait for him?
Damn it, he was supposed to be over this by now. He didn't need to delve into this deeper than he wanted, but it seems that whatever he did or whatever he thought he just ended up hurting from everything around him. All of this, all he worked for… acknowledgement, love, comfort… all gone through the window. No friends, nobody… not even Sasuke.
He has nothing.
Naruto's hand pushed the bottle away, spilling the drink as his palms slowly hid his face with shame, his chest racking with silent sobs and outbursts of every emotion he felt. He couldn't help it; he couldn't be 'Naruto' all the time because— he was just human. His tears watered the grass beneath him, and ended up looking like dewdrops in winter. He fell to his side and curled into a wretched ball, his back still shaking from sorrow…
"… nobody…" he whimpered, "… alone…"
He finally lost his sense of humor. He was right about turning to alcohol, that way he'd be drunk in a euphoric frenzy—at least that was a tad like him when he was five years younger.
"… no one…" he whispered,
Sasuke, that bastard! He did this on purpose… that bastard… he took everything and didn't bother to leave something. There was nothing for him now. Everybody has left him behind, and by that thought he knew that he couldn't just turn to anybody for his sorrows, so all he could do was feel empty and alone. He needed attention, but there was nobody heeding to his need… nobody
"You think this is fuckin' funny now, don't you," he mumbled heatedly,
He stood up drunkenly, harsh and firm with fresh tears still trickling down his chin. His fists were clenched tightly as he tried to compose himself, doing every breathing technique he knew in the 'Art of Serenity'. He looked up to the skies and then sprung up to inconceivable madness: "YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY!" he shouted. To blame God was to blame nobody else, particularly himself. It was a comfort Naruto barely sided in, but he couldn't help but feel anger towards Him: it was His fault, not his… not his fault, HIS fault…
"FINE, I'LL PLAY YOUR FUCKIN' CHARADE!" Naruto roared, his body shaking because of some bodily madness, "I'LL DRINK SAKE UNTIL THEY FIND MY FUCKIN' CORPSE IN A BLOODY DITCH!"
At least they'll pity him when he's a corpse… that's some kind of acknowledgement.
"Or better yet, WHY DON'T YOU JUST SMITE ME WITH YOUR SMITING HAND… SMITER!" he waved his arms against the air as if fighting some invisible enemy, until he collapsed to his knees.
Crying...
Naruto couldn't help but feel drunk, discouraged, and disgraceful, but he just COULDN'T... He just COULDN'T take this anymore, "It's all… your fault," he gasped, "All your— fault…"
He still heard the echoes of his feral voice continue to resonate throughout the forest, until there was only silence aside his pitiful sobbing. The silence around him tried to console his anger and sadness, but it couldn't even touch his soul… until the silence was overshadowed by something else— fluttering. Naruto breathlessly looked up from his hunched position and listened to the buzzing noise deep within the forest. At first it sounded like angry bees, but as countless seconds passed it turned into some mesmerizing music, which lulled him into a mysterious enchantment, touching his hate with soft prickles of consolation by some form of magic he failed to notice.
Suddenly, something flickered in front of his face. Naruto slowly stood up and glanced at it intensely... a butterfly?
A white butterfly with black, powdered spots colored on its wings. Strange, he never saw a butterfly like this in Konoha before…
The butterfly flew around him, seemingly inviting him to follow it somewhere, but instead of succumbing himself to its enchantment Naruto turned his head towards the noise which grew into a pulsating buzz of insects— when finally the origins of the humming emerged from the trees and flew towards the grassland he was standing on:
More butterflies…
Butterflies involved in a wave of moonlight luster, like a current of pearls; a large tide of pearly-white locusts. It flew right through him until he was in the middle of the butterfly's current, and he couldn't help but forget his painful reality and turn to the butterflies' fascinating spectacle instead. Their wings tickled his arms, hands and face like soft flakes of warm snow. It was simply beautiful.
When the train of butterflies and the sound of its quivering wings left him wondering what all that was about, all his sensible thoughts abruptly disappeared when he thought about wanting to be with it forever. He will leave this place. He'll leave it with the butterflies and never come back, and he didn't care how drunk or angry he was… there were only the butterflies, and nothing else.
So he ran…
… towards the insects which fascinated him, to the point of his reckless abandonment of all the things he knew and once loved, even before time. It didn't matter if he was merely being hypnotized to his destruction, but his death was insignificant compared to this hell-hole he once called life,
"Screw death," he murmured with bated breath,
He ran over logs, around rocks, throughout the trees, under bushels of untamed leaves which seemed to float out of place. He must REALLY be drunk. Naruto almost tripped over his feet, but quickly composed himself when he realized that he might not catch up to the current, but he still ran anyway, and he understood why he never stopped following the butterfly current which was no where to be found. He was running away from the world, and the people who left him alone in space.
"Screw em' all," Naruto wheezed, "They don't see me, I don't see them…"
So this is what it felt like to fly away and never come back.
Naruto's breath came in quicker gasps, but fatigue never stopped him. Something else stopped his tracks—something, or someone. He noticed that he was standing on the very place where he first saw Itsu and the ring of fire he unleashed.
'This was where it all started…'
"And this is where everything will end," a voice said,
Naruto looked up from his shoes and saw… a man. Although Naruto couldn't distinguish him throughout the darkness, he noticed that he had a heavy cloak draped on his shoulders which covered his body from chest to toes.
"What?" Naruto timidly said,
"Do you want everything to be the way it used to?" asked the stranger with his strange, serpent-like voice,
"Huh?" he idiotically returned, his eyes wide with suspicion,
What did the weird guy just say?
"I asked you," said the stranger impatiently, "If you want everything the way you wanted it to be: five years ago."
It took him a while to process the question through his head, but when it finally registered the heavy information Naruto couldn't help but feel the pearly white butterflies fly around in his gut. Have everything back the way it used to? The offer was so overwhelming; so unexpected and tempting… but he couldn't. No matter how angry he was, about God or about the people who once loved him, he couldn't do that to them. They were happier now; who knows what would happen if he changed things? Maybe, just maybe…
"What's the catch?" he spluttered out after a moment of pause,
"The catch? What catch?" came the reply,
"If I go back…" Naruto stopped,
A light of realization flickered in the stranger's eyes, "I know what you're implying," he said, "And if I tell you that if you drink this…"
The stranger uncovered his silhouetted body, revealing his eight arms and lithe form. Curious… really, but not unnatural. He held out one of his hands, and there a large goblet materialized right in his palms… but what is it filled of? For a moment, Naruto silently wished that it was sake.
"And what is that?" asked Naruto dubiously,
"Once you drink this…" the stranger replied, "You will forget about all of this… so called 'hell-hole'."
Tempting, really… but he can't. He just can't. He MUST do the right thing…
But the cup was so alluring. Must he? Or must he not? If he takes the cup, then won't he make sure that everything will be perfect? Wouldn't he do the Rokudaime's job better than Sasuke himself?
"I…" will he?
"I…" everything will be perfect, won't it?
"I don't. I…" right?
………
He lifted his fingers up, reaching for the cup—but stopped midway. He won't do something self-centered anymore, he'll start over instead, whether somewhere in the world or somewhere in Konoha… he wouldn't be responsible for anybody's misery.
"… can't."
The stranger seemed surprised by his reply, so he tried to consult Naruto to do otherwise, holding the cup in front of him like some forbidden apple: "Don't you have the right to be happy as well? To witness everybody, no matter how many problems they would overcome and no matter how many deaths they would need to accept, as happy dwellers of this world—except you? Must you sacrifice yourself for them, or must you sacrifice your purpose of your life in these dark times for both you and your… friends? I'm giving you something, a chance which nobody will ever touch with their lips, or with a hair from their fingers. This fact isn't just something to dismiss as ordinary, and you know that. Don't you?"
That caught Naruto off-guard: what if he was right? But what if the goblet was filled with poison? Will he die with disappointment, or will this stranger's promise be fulfilled?
He was right.
And Naruto was wrong.
To believe in the stranger was to believe in nobody else— particularly himself and his conscience
He was wrong. And he was right.
So Naruto unfurled his fingers, reaching towards the cup of change… his change…
SHK— until a spear was thrown right in front of him, stopping their transaction immediately and seemingly waking him towards reality. It was a black spear, with golden blades on each points but Naruto barely had time to marvel at the weapon when somebody else appeared before his eyes with a fluid, gas-like entrance, right next to the bold weapon: the hermit…
The hermit's face wasn't concealed anymore, and he couldn't help but notice that the hermit, instead of being rowdy and dull, was amazingly clean-shaven. His long beard was tied with a red knot—something he failed to see when he first saw him.
"Stop your foolishness, White Dragon! Your whims will no longer tempt the innocent!" his baritone voice rumbled,
"Old man Bosatsu… well, well, well…"
"I know who you REALLY are, Serpent, but in this case I'll make an exception: Go back where you came from, and don't bother to tinker my master with your tricks!" Who the hell was this guy, and what the hell were they talking about? Naruto shook his head out of all this confusion,
The hermit, who was supposedly named Bosatsu, took out something from his cloak and shoved it in front of the stranger's face. The 'White Dragon' shrieked with an ungodly noise which reminded Naruto of Manda. Fearing the talisman Bosatsu held in his hand, he disappeared with a sudden turn of his back and a poof of black smoke.
After a couple of seconds' worth, Bosatsu looked at Naruto promptly, eyeing him with fatherly exasperation, "You MUSTN'T speak to that idiot, nor will you take something from him! And don't even think about 'poisoning' yourself…"
……
"Who the hell are you?"
AN: Right, I don't think I have to say what I said before, except PLEASE REVIEW .
In reply to DarkMan: yup... TOTALLY NaruSaku. No onesides. That's just a part of the shocking end!.