CHAPTER IX
Nostalgia
Let go of Sakura? Let go of her and get on with his life like nothing had happened between them?
Naruto stood his ground, looking down at the grass beneath him. and standing like a shaking scarecrow before this man who told him to leave his former life behind and create a new one. A new life without Sakura.
Impossible.
It was just unimaginable. He couldn't picture his life without her, a life without the very person he pined for…
A thousand thoughts of solitude invaded his mind…… must he? Could he? Would he? Sakura was the very reason he lived for, and also the very reason why he once imprudently laughed at death before all this tragedy happened. Especially that day when he lied paralyzed, in temporary rigor mortis, for two days and thirty minutes. She was the very reason for his everything, and the Hokage title paled in comparison when she was around. But now, even if his death was heavily wanted, he still held on a small flicker of hope and aching path of a life that maybe, just maybe she would leave her family for him. Maybe…
Yet and now he must let go of her? With feelings of affection this strong, holding him so tight yet tenderly; holding him so lovingly yet hesitantly; clinging to him: let go of his small and precious salvation?
Impossible.
Totally ridiculous… but the hermit told him that he must let go in order to live— although, for whatever reasons the hermit has, he couldn't possibly fathom.
Naruto couldn't help but leave behind EVERYTHING that has happened to him after his coma, and engulf himself with her presence of before: her presence before Sasuke… her presence before her son… her presence before Naruto's death from the world. He left behind those intricate details of his stinging abhorrence to the world, and the man within him became flawless when he touched their memories together with his mind's eye. Such joy! Such irrelevant love and beauty! Broken forever into nothing but the past.
A shame.
Now he must let go of her in order to live… for whatever profound reason he couldn't possibly fathom.
Bosatsu said something to him, but he didn't listen. He couldn't listen. He didn't want to listen anymore, because even if he decided that he would live again, he wanted to live with her, and FOR her. Even if she was with another person, he didn't care. He COULDN'T care.
Naruto remembered a certain time in his life (precisely before his very last mission to track a particular crazed thief), which he took the courage to see with his mind's eye. It was spring, he remembered, like it was spring right now. It was early in the afternoon and the weather was perfect. The usual hustle and bustle of the streets: no huge, new skyscrapers which paved the streets, no new faces, no pain and no suffering.
All that he took for granted that day.
A beautiful day at the Ramen bar…
He was sitting on his usual chair, picking his noodles like a child with his vegetables. It wasn't like he hated ramen… definitely not like hating ramen (are you INSANE?). It was more about…
'Don't ask?'
YES! It was more about his question of 'Don't ask?' which caused his mind to scamper off deep in his love-sick daydreams.
'Ask…'
Those questions may be simple, but to him it was as complex as our modern day physics and math. Those questions he's asking himself right now may determine his future-- and whether or not his ego will either go far, or shrink to the size of a peanut.
'Don't ask?' he repeated, his mind changing every second; every minute. Damn… how hard could this be?
… Damn it…
'Ask…'
But he's a ninja for crying out loud! Of course, upon the fields of blood and destruction, he was a natural. He survived almost EVERY calamity which struck him like rain and thunderbolts… but now, this predicament of his was not a 'calamity' at all. It was more of a… challenge. A dare. The very result of his impatience, and now it showed to him like some disaster waiting to happen. What disaster can she do to him anyway?
Oh, like, mopping the floor with his FACE! That kind of disaster…
He gulped…
'Don't ask—' he was sure this time… but…
'Gotta ask…' Yes! He must ask her before it was too late and before she finds somebody who's, ugh, better than him! But was he worthy of her love at all? Was he the perfect guy for her? The perfect husband material?
Will Naruto ever be perfect?
'Don't ask?'
Damn…
'Ask...'
… this was harder than he thought…
Naruto counted off every noodle he picked with his chopsticks, his left palm on his chin and his elbow on the table, naming each one 'Ask' or 'Don't ask' like an infatuated girl would to a flower. He went on and on for HOURS on end, wasting his time on those dead-cold noodles he still picked on the bowl. The owner of the Ramen Bar was surprised to see him THIS docile… this… intense. And mostly, he was surprised that Naruto still hadn't finished his Ramen.
Miso Ramen. This was totally ridiculous!
'What's up with him?'
Naruto still had his eyes downcast, looking at each noodle he picked like precious glass, 'Don't ask…'
He must find an answer to his questions soon…
'Ask…'
Or he'll go crazy until all he'll say is 'Ask' or 'Don't ask'!
'Don't ask…'
Hmm…
'Ask…'
He suddenly wondered, from out of the blue, how Sakura would look like—naked in a Ramen bowl…
Naruto's eyes snapped wide open, and jerked his body backwards from surprise… whoa… that was… sexy…
'Gyah! What am I thinking?' Naruto thought, 'That's just… although—it is a bit… enticing…' he smirked devilishly to himself, thinking about all those possibilities… Sakura naked in a Ramen bowl… filled with Ramen. He could feel a nosebleed coming on…
"NARUTO!" an energetic voice snapped him back to reality, surprising him and making his heart beat so fast, as if he ran a thousand miles from East to West,
"GHAK! S- Sakura-chan!" he stuttered, his face still red from—obvious reasons,
"What are you doing here?" Sakura chirped. She obviously got back from her training since she was always pumped up after those kinds of activities— something which he noticed after all these years of being her… companion, "Eh? Still haven't finished your Ramen? But… I just left you here TWO HOURS ago!" a look of surprise graced her gorgeous features,
"Eh? Err—nothing serious, Sakura-chan!" Naruto said, after finding his voice through all that dryness, "Just—thinking is all…"
'Don't ask?'
"Really? You look a bit flustered... " Sakura said, her eyes wide with concern, "Tell me what you were thinking about."
'Ask?'
"Well, I don't think so—" Naruto mumbled, his eyes downcast, and STILL picking on his Ramen like he was being scolded by his own mother,
"No really, tell me!"
"Nope…"
"Naruto…" Sakura said warningly, yup, that was the last straw! He was too weak to go against the strength of a woman, especially a woman who was special to him, and who also has astoundingly admirable and impressive abilities which would, and could, inflict pain.
So much pain.
'Definitely don't ask,' Naruto thought, looking at her with fear, "All right," he whispered, "I was thinking about—"
'You,'
"—Sasuke." Sakura looked at him with her green, immortal eyes, her face crinkling with confusion and, obviously, a bit of hurt. Sasuke… why did he pick the subject of Uchiha Sasuke? His name was awfully taboo—yet he was dumb enough to let it slip through his tongue,
'Obviously, what can I possibly think about after all this time?' Naruto assured himself, at least the subject fit the time of his brooding— which was two hours of brooding,
"Sasuke?" Sakura muttered, her eyes leaving his and falling down his full bowl,
Not good, definitely not good, "Just wondering how he's doing," Naruto breathed,
…
Naruto, you idiot.
"Look Naruto, Sasuke… he's gone now." Sakura said, her mouth turning to a cute pout, and her eyes still on his bowl, seemingly assuring herself rather than him, "You killed his brother, who knows what he's gonna do next?"
"Well, I just—" great, NOW was the time he chose to be silent, juust peachy,
"Sasuke's never going to return. He's angry at you, I can feel it. He did some terrible things to us, even destroyed some parts of the world, that I'm sure." Sakura mumbled, looking at him worriedly, "He even managed to kill without hesitation, all because he looked into the face of insanity," Naruto looked down, she rarely spoke like that before, but then she smiled, "Although—there's always the hope of him changing his mind,"
He looked at her, amazed by her sudden reply. Yes, although Sasuke did all those things, they always—ALWAYS hoped, "How do you do that?" asked Naruto tenderly,
"Do what?" Sakura returned, a soft smile appearing on her face,
"Make me feel… weird." relax… breathe-- in… out… deeper…
Sakura was struck with wonder, "Weird?"
Naruto looked at her deeper, his blue orbs boring into her very soul. This beautiful woman. His girl— his only love, "You're incredible, you know that? I just can't believe that you still hope… just like me," he smirked,
'Definitely ask…'
"I…" her face was close to him now, when she whispered that simple word. Sakura felt her eyes go drowsy… this boy—this man… what did he do to her?
"Thanks," but he wasn't sure if she felt for him, right? What if she still felt for Sasuke? What if she doesn't think that he's worthy enough? What if she still hoped because she wanted the Uchiha instead?
'Don't kiss…'
What if this was a mistake? What if she'll hate him for this? What if he ruins their relationship? What if… what if he kissed her instead?
… then she kissed him.
And it was wonderful. Like stars in perpetual glow; like the sun: forever warm and never scorching; like their friendship: perfect, flawless—his.
She was his. Just like her lips was on his. Let's just hope that she doesn't love him, but for now, let him bask on her warm, supple lips. Let him fantasize that she indeed loved him. Let him… let him…
"Mmm…" Sakura moaned—beautiful. This beautiful creature was his, and nobody will EVER take her away from him. Or so he thought…
He sought entrance from her, begged it so deliciously that she had to comply. A dance of tongues met with revered passion. Such passion. It burned them... seared them. The sun was no longer warm, nor was their friendship flawless… it was SCORCHING. Their breaths mingled, their eyes closed. No longer the thoughts of Sasuke and his doubts, no longer the pain of deciding whether to ask or not ask… their moment was SCORCHING. His hand caressed her cheeks gingerly, feeling it so soft under his fingertips, feeling the muscles of her face move and contract… this beautiful creature is his.
Nothing interrupted the moment, even the very owner of the bar who saw Naruto with curious eyes, wondering what might be on his mind, 'So that's it,' he thought, looking away to give them some privacy…
Until, of course, Naruto felt a slight tap on his shoulder, "Hey, you lovebirds,"
… ugh… Kiba…
Naruto and Sakura slowly and shyly stopped their moment of secret bliss.
The blushing blonde quickly and irately shifted his sight on Kiba, who wasn't the least perturbed by his scary expression. Actually, Kiba looked a bit smug. Naruto's face actually gave off a silent: 'Damn you, Kiba! You just ruined my chance of a lifetime!'
Kiba still looked smug after that look Naruto gave off, "What!" Naruto heatedly asked,
"Stop sucking your tonsils out before your reach your brains, Hokage-sama's calling for ya'!"
Naruto gave Kiba another look, took another soft glimpse at Sakura, while both of them coyly smiled at each other, "See you," Naruto whispered, his voice rough because of obvious reasons,
"Yeah," she said, still breathless from their early… activities, "See you later…"
See you later… that's what she told him, but it took him five years. And now…
… damn it…
Now he must let her go. He must let that moment go. Why must this happen to him? How come tragedy only happens to good people?
Naruto ripped his gaze from the grass to Bosatsu, his eyes glassy from unshed tears. His voice still unfound from all those feelings.
But he MUST live again—for her…
His jaws tightened. He must live again, even if she's with… Sasuke. The very person he'd less expect her to be with. The very person he once loathed and loved as his own brother… the beautiful creature was Sasuke's now, not his.
And now he must let her go.
After a moment of silent decision making, Bosatsu looked at him with patient eyes, seemingly sharing his pain… no, he couldn't possibly feel the same pain as his. The world around them grew still, waiting with anticipation his answer which would probably change everything that grew around him.
Yes, he finally decided, his final answer to the impatient, and cruel world: "Fcuk you,"
AN: And so the Ninth Chapter is installed. I totlaly editted this chapter out, it's newly editted right now, sorry . I gotta thank Smiter for pointing out that little mistake of mine. Thanks for all your reviews, really, and I promise... really, REALLY promise, that I won't make a mistake again. Your reviews totally made me blush... masculinly, that is... Please review!