CHAPTER X
To Meet with Kakashi
-THUD-
A half-filled bottle squarely hit the filthy bar-counter like a stone hitting rock bottom—and the very person who was drinking it felt like he was plunging along with the rock itself. Naruto didn't bother to look around him and had his head low ever since the crowd had dissipated through the length time. He didn't care whether or not he'll come back home in the morning, either. There were only a couple of people at the bar, and half of them woozily walked out of the inn without a word, uttering a few gargles of extreme drunkenness and wavering around, trying to struggle on one's feet. Now, it seemed that no matter what Naruto did, like watch the clock's minute hand tick away into oblivious certainty, he just couldn't flush out the sudden memories which came to him out of the blue. Surprising really, since those memories made him warm his frozen insides like butter; like ice which refused to thaw, but did because of some mysterious force. He strongly and desperately detested the flood of reminiscences though, and he tried everything to get drunk— although, he was still strangely sober.
He started to remember little things, like how he and Sakura used to tickle each other endlessly until Kakashi finally arrives. How both of them ate in the Ramen bar together, no matter how sick Sakura felt on eating that much Ramen everyday (ever since he persuaded her to have lunch with him—a failed attempt to ask her out on a date) — how they both worked upon their missions with such precision and with one mind, having practiced themselves with each other even before the end of time. How they both swam in their mutual feelings of disgust and pity, and regret for a certain Uchiha…
Damn it…
What had he done wrong to deserve such a fate?
But pushing all things aside, he tried even more to swallow half of what was left in the bottle, trying desperately—so desperately—to get inebriated by this toxic beverage held heavily in his hands; held so tight as if it could break, and that it could seemingly smash into shards, right there in his palms. What pain… what agony… what memory—was there to make him forget?
He remembered how her eyes shined by the sight of him. How a breadth of her joyous bosom swelled with pride as he did what he usually did (excluding his foolish antics, of course). He remembered her voice which used to be filled with adoration for him, but now was utterly empty because of reasons of past despair. What pain… what agony… what memory was there to make her forget that he was lying on a bed, unaware of every change around him? Unaware that she had found another, just to forget… him...?
Damn it…
Naruto avoided all those thoughts of longing, and concentrated his mind on the present: she married the person he least expected her to marry and give herself fully to— yet… all that, that belief in his head: with her loving the person he least expected her to love— he couldn't help but notice that that belief was nothing but a farce he persistently told himself, that he was stubborn enough to ignore what had happened these past five years.
He took another mouthful of sake and relished the strong flavor… what else did he remember?
-Thud-
How she swayed her hips a little while she walked, with him purposely lagging behind and looking at her delicious figure (and butt) like the usual male animal he is, how her hair danced along with the wind and played upon her features— a beautiful creature he failed to seize. And what's worse: it was not only her who seemingly ignored him to the depths of his limits, but also his friends, his confidants, KONOHA. The whole of Konoha, and seemingly… the world…
What— what had he done to deserve such a spiteful destiny?
'Dammit… I'm going around in circles again…'
Yes, he shouldn't grasp upon his pain any longer. He must let go—he needs to let go. But how?
Again, Sakura replayed in his mind's eye. He repeated praises of adoration from his most precious friends before; he remembered those good things where he truly belonged. This reality he now lived in was thrown away in spite, and there another flood of memory invaded his senses: how oba-chan told him that she was considering him to be the next Hokage of the Leaf. How Sakura leapt into his arms with joy when she heard said news (even if it was obvious Tsunade would choose him). How the world shivered from his powers and strength. How everybody gathered around to witness him eat twenty bowls of Ramen at once. Good times, and lost times.
While basking upon his most treasured memories, he stumbled upon a very special one where only he and Sakura enjoyed relentlessly. Something which could be defined within a name: Ed Yukito—the unnoticed genius who wrote their 'Fly Away' theme. The very man they had to protect, but didn't need protecting at all, for when he arrived at his destination and when he finished his business in the Wave Country, he was sadly assassinated, thereby leaving all his treasured songs to both of them. And there was another song which he and Sakura usually sang when they were painfully bored or when silence suddenly engulfed their surroundings like hot air… now how did that go?
"Why the hell are you worrying?
Ain't thinking of you, anyway,
Why d'you feel that all the men around are head and dead— and so in love with you?"
Yes! That was the funny song they both sang together when they couldn't find anything to do! But what was it called again? Was it Silver—tongue—Silver… Silver… Silver… TOES! A song named Silvertoes—the second song they heard from Ed…
He couldn't help but chuckle.
The bartender briefly look at Naruto with one of his eyebrows raised, while Naruto started to laugh at the song he was whispering under his breath like a real drunkard. The man scoffed at the peculiar blonde. But ignoring thus, Naruto's memories came in faster, like quick, flipping flash cards without sounds. He finally started to warm up on his memories—
"Miss, miss, can you stop all this please?
All of your know-it-all crap,
You're not that entertaining no more
I'll make a cop beat you up with his own bludgeon."
He remembered singing this to Sakura once, when she moved to her new, and not to mention empty apartment, falling ill by the curse of depression, and hopelessly moping around her apartment all day, refusing to initiate her usual missions and snubbing off all who told her to leave her apartment to mingle with human beings like a REAL human being. Naruto perkily recalled that he was outside her door that sober day, sitting on the floor while his cheeks were squishing her door, singing this particularly absurd song while passing people stared at him before turning away with fright.
The love-sick man of Konoha… future Hokage of the Leaf: Uzumaki Naruto, the idiot.
"Sorry, forgive what I had said
But everything about you is the awful, painful truth,
Don't deny that men around you want
To wipe the tarmac clean using your own ugly face…"
He then thought he heard a stifled sound in there… a chuckle? A giggle perhaps? He hoped so. He didn't like his Sakura-chan to be another heartless and pale Uchiha, for fear that she might leave him alone for power and revenge like Sasuke had done before. Naruto would do anything to have her back the way he wanted her to be: herself. And having her miserable like this MADE him miserable—so he decided to sing the most ridiculous song they, and only they, both knew, no matter how ridiculous, outside her door. It didn't matter if nobody found their song funny at all, but it was the memories and moments they both shared with it which compelled them to laugh like morons. Two, blind, love-sick morons…
"We don't get a huge turn on
By your own skin: colored like roughened wood
We don't feel that cool either
Looking at your lips so coarse…"
That was the last straw: Sakura furiously ripped the door open.
It was unfortunate for Naruto because he was lying against the door itself, so he fell down flat on her feet, his face showing shock and deep cheerfulness, "Hi Sakura-chan!" he smirked,
"You big ass dimwit! Why the hell are you singing that song on public!"
"But only a few people passed by and heard…"
"It doesn't matter, idiot!"
He smirked wider this time, bringing his hands behind his back comfortably, infuriating Sakura even more: "Then why didn't you stop me, Sakura-chan?"
Sakura grabbed his collar and pulled him in her apartment. Half hoping that it was something special, Naruto was relieved (and not to mention disappointed) that, after a couple of minutes of silence on Sakura's part with her back behind him and her breath coming in on angry gasps of desolation—
"Naruto, why? Why did you DO that?"
"Because, Sakura-chan," Naruto fell silent, looking down his feet with troublesome features imprinted in his eyes,
Sakura turned to him angrily, her own eyes showing a hint of anger, "WHAT?"
Naruto smiled cryptically, "Just because,"
Silence…
She couldn't stop herself this time and smirked a little, yet it was something that was barely noticeable enough… but he saw it: there, widening to a joyful angle… a smile. A beautiful smile which turned into a peal of giggles, "Naruto…" she said thankfully,
Naruto scooped her thin frame into a tender hug while her giggles dissipated and turned into sullen tears. He stroked her hair in his hands like fine thread, or fragile silk while whispering friendly nothings in her ear.
Uchiha… he did this… for the sake of power…
Naruto shook his head, trying to force his anger away for that wasn't the emotion he didn't want to portray in front of her already poignant thoughts.
-THUD-
He didn't expect her to marry the man who killed her own parents… yes… another memory brought back from his past state of confusion. Sasuke, her husband, killed her own flesh and blood. There was something which bothered him to no end as he thought those disturbing thoughts, though; a question which brought many other questions other than answers: Was Sasuke better than him as a man? A father? A husband? Was he any better than him, or was this the usual challenge his mind gave him to lag on and go around in circles? What did Sasuke do to make her forgive him and his past deeds?
Forgive him for killing her parents?
Forgive him for killing an innocent kid, who, to Sasuke, was only an object created to be his hostage?
She seemed happier now, though, but he wasn't sure…
Yes… he wasn't sure if she was truly happy. And now did he only find that suspicious query: Was she really happy with the Uchiha, or is it just a mask he kept on seeing for her new family's sake?
"Ugh..." Naruto started to knead his throbbing forehead, frustrated at the headache while not getting drunk at all. Perfect, just peachy…
-SLAM-
The door of the bar opened with such a force which momentarily shook the entire place. A foot grumpily drew in the room and stomped on the floor heavily, as if the person, whose foot was sticking out languidly, was too tired and empty to move. Strange, the man's usual scent was tainted with a bit of alcohol, and, naturally, his smell was also tinged with a bit of grass and forest dirt. Like a drunk Sakura. Naruto also sensed his clothes and exposed skin: he was totally caked with sludge and blood, and the man didn't even bother to clean up before he finished his mission.
Throughout the entire troublesome odor, Naruto perceived the scent immediately: Hatake Kakashi.
Kakashi stepped in and roughly sat down next to Naruto, who was also looking like crap dropped on his porch. The group of remaining men hastily stood up from their tables and woozily walked towards Kakashi.
"'EY! HATAKE!" one of them exclaimed,
Kakashi didn't look at the men's irritating hustle, instead he reached down from his belt while the drunken idiots flopped down next to Kakashi, "I know, Ori, I know…" Kakashi said,
He literally threw a big wad of bucks on the table, then one of the men, who was supposedly named Ori, grabbed it impulsively. Ori fingered a cigarette in his front pocket (which slightly burned his Chuunin uniform), and started smoking in front of Naruto's ignorant sensei's face, "You 'lready paid yer' debts, Hatake!"
The group of men laughed like intoxicated donkeys, hooting, shouting in incompetent trifles as they wobbled their way outside the bar, leaving both a slightly stupefied Naruto who was, at first, staring at the door where the men came through, and then shifting his gaze on a very grim Kakashi. The bartender looked at him with his bored eyes and said: "What'll it be, Hatake?"
Kakashi looked at him with irritated eyes, half of his face still covered with that usual and ominous black sheet, "The usual…" he grumbled with a voice which Naruto barely heard from his Kakashi-sensei.
The bartender disappeared under the table for a moment, before reappearing with two full bottles of sake in each hand. Naruto felt stunned by Kakashi's unexpected alcohol consumption: he drank THAT much? But since when? Oh right, he was gone for five years—che, what a way to forget.
Kakashi gruffly popped one bottle open, pulled out his silken mask down to his neck (freely showing his face) and drank to his gut's content… heavily. Naruto couldn't help but feel stunned by his sudden actions. Kakashi never showed his face to anybody, but now? On public? In a BAR with his 'usual' ORDER? And while the wonders of finally seeing his sensei's face stayed stuck on his forehead, he couldn't help but observe how striking the man's face was: full lips, amazing complexion... tired eyes with streaks of bags under them-- it was obvious that Kakashi, in this new and unforeseen part of his life, now laid upon his bed, staring at the ceiling with utter displeasure, cursing it as time went by... just like Naruto stared at the skies with a broken and melancholic gaze.
"It's been a long time, Naruto" Kakashi garbled,
"I'm happy to see you again, Kakashi-sensei…" Naruto whispered,
Kakashi took another swig of alcohol, savoring it until it burned down his throat.
-THUNK-
"I'm guessing that you want to know what happened these past years, eh?"
Naruto paused, "I'm actually wondering-- what happened to you."
Kakashi stayed on a momentary halt, his eyes blinking leisurely, "Everything had changed, Naruto." He muttered, "Even I had changed. Everything that's happened. Everybody who became somebody else… damn... What a welcome, huh?" Kakashi took another mouthful of sake into his burning throat,
"I just don't get it; it doesn't seem to fit at all…"
-THUMP-
"Hmph," Kakashi failed to catch Naruto's inquisitive eyes, "Sasuke suddenly showed up after some guy named White Dragon attacked the Hidden Leaf. Tsuande-sama failed to defeat him, and for that she bailed out as Hokage with shame. She's now somewhere in the Hidden Sand, making business as usual. Anyways, after a year of battling against this White Dragon, Sasuke successfully banished him somewhere-- center of the earth or something like that-- and while he was fighting like a frikkin' dog he didn't bother to ignore Sakura."
Another forlorn swig—
-THUMP-
"Swept her off her feet just like THAT," Kakashi snapped his fingers in front of Naruto's face, "Didn't know how he did it, but months later she was pregnant with his kid… months later—they got hitched." Naruto gulped the taste of alcohol in his mouth and tongue, but either way, he just couldn't get high and somehow forget what Kakashi had said.
"Does he love her?" he asked, Kakashi looked at Naruto with solid eyes. It was almost as if Kakashi pitied Naruto rather than himself. Poor kid—lost everything… like him.
"I asked him the same thing," he was afraid to say, afraid to tell Naruto the awful truth, "He told me that he made no mistake before,"
And then...
-- and then Naruto felt it: that strong singe of pain, stinging and merciless which continuously stabbed his chest here and there. That indefinable feeling of discomfort and sadness mixed together, which created an unbearable spasm of apathy.
Damn…
But then another anxiety seized him: indeed, Kakashi-sensei's answer was true… but was it? Naruto knew that his own hopes must not be squandered for the sake of the truth: Sasuke only SAID and not showed SOLIDLY in front of him—not expressed as freely as Naruto did in front of other people, no matter how subtle he was before; Sasuke, to him, felt unnaturally restrained… but maybe it was just him? It was then clear that Naruto could not be satisfied, no matter how much pain or joy Sakura was feeling with Sasuke, no less. However, he'll never believe Kakashi's admission; he knew in his heart that he must be sure about everything that's happening around him.
Meh... Kakashi definitely wasn't one to beat around the bush in this chapter of his life, it was obvious that he was in a hurry to be left alone and get drunk all on his own, "You're just too late, Naruto—"
"What about you?" Naruto suddenly asked, "Why the hell are you drinking yourself to death?"
Kakashi just kept silent, drinking like a jug concealed in a river of folly, and yet Kakashi still didn't meet Naruto's inquisitive eyes, "Hmph…"
"Well?" Naruto pestered, his drink totally forgotten on the table, while the bartender scrutinized both miserable men interact.
Oh well, misery loves company, right?
After a moment of anguished pause, Kakashi replied, his throat seemingly parched from all that sake, "Stuff happened, Naruto. You're not the only one who has a broken heart around this joint…"
What?
"Kaka-sensei." Naruto whispered, pushing him further to sate his own curiosity,
-THUMP-
"Just leave it, Naruto—" Kakashi growled,
The blonde stubbornly furrowed his brow, why mustn't he answer? "I must know."
"Why do you care?" Kakashi taunted, increasing Naruto's frustration even more, to the point that he just wanted to grab the bottle from Kakashi's paws and CRASH it on his pate,
…
Relax… he's Kakashi, remember? Only a more… angsty one…
"Because—" Naruto whispered, trying to calm his frustration down, finally answering with a broken tone, he whispered: "I'm... the future Hokage of the Leaf... Uzumaki Naruto."
Kakashi's eyes widened, totally surprised by Naruto's counter. His spirit was untainted...
Naruto smiled at the man: broken down by inevitable extremities. Inside he knew he didn't want to end up this way… he must find another purpose for his precious existence. But he was curious as to what impossibly broke Hatake Kakashi down to his knees, to the point of his own delirious madness? Physical trauma, wretched past; what could've been Kakashi's forthcoming deciding factor?
Kakashi sighed, finally giving in to his former student. He took another swig and whispered solemnly: "All right," he said finally, "I'll tell you everything…"
AN: Soo sorry for not updating sooner. I was busy with school and stuff, and, obviously, school is the highest priority in my list. Thank you all for putting up with me! PLEASE REVIEW!