Chapter 11: The Bitter Truth
Location: Tifa's Room
Time: 11:00 am Thursday
Tifa's POV:
Slowly leaning over the frame of the tiny cradle, I lowered my face to kiss the little cheek of a newborn. He smelt wonderful, like every baby did when they were only a few days old. My hair fell around his fragile head as I gently placed a soft kiss on his rose-coloured, chubby cheek. He stirred a little and murmured sleepily.
I was woken that morning by a strange vibration on my left breast.
It tickled, resulting in me smiling slightly and whispering, "Stop it."
"Tifa?" spoke a familiar voice quietly.
"Mmm?" I mumbled and rolled over to hold onto the man beside me.
My arm came around with me as I turned onto my stomach, but it did not come into contact with anything but the thin bed sheets.
Frowning I opened my eyes and sat up a little. I stared around my room and saw that I was completely alone.
I must have been dreaming…again.
"Tifa?"
Startled, I jolted a little and asked, "Who's there?"
I began to make my way off the bed and just as I slid the last leg out of the sheets I heard the same voice say, "It's me Tifa. We need you to get down to the bar. Reno's on his way."
Reno? Oh right…today's the day.
"Um…I'll be right down." I replied, now remembering the events of the previous day and the little task I was given. There was also something nagging at me. I couldn't remember my dreams sometimes and usually if they had some significance, I would remember them later on with the help of my daily duties. If I thought of something or did something that was completely normal it would sometimes trigger off a memory or a dream. It had been happening quite frequently lately.
I made my way into the bathroom and proceeded to at least wash my face. I had had a shower the night before with some…help, but I desperately needed one now. It would help calm my nerves and allow me to think far more clearly.
However I was not permitted to take off the transmitter yet. If I did remove it, I would need assistance in fastening it to my body again and Yuffie wasn't here and I definitely was not about to let one of the guys help out.
I flung my hair back up away from the basin and let the water drip from my face as I fumbled around for a face washer. Finally I picked one up on my left and immediately began to pat my face dry, along with my bandaged hand that Yuffie had helped dress the day before.
Feeling a little more refreshed I opened my eyes and as I stared into the mirror I saw someone behind me. I sucked in a deep breath and abruptly came to a standstill. I couldn't move. I couldn't do anything. I simply stood and stared, waiting for him to attack so that I could begin fighting back.
"Hello Tifa." He spoke. His voice was very young and menacing.
He began to walk towards me, making sure that he kept indirect eye contact with me, while I continued to stare into the mirror, watching as he continued to get closer.
"Who are you?" I asked, now gripping tightly onto the rim of the sink; my knuckles whitening in the process.
He smiled slightly and soon came to stand directly behind me.
Cunningly gazing into my eyes he slowly lifted a hand to the front of my abdomen, holding onto it gently and whispering into my ear, "It's a boy."
With that he faded; his green, silvery eyes being the only thing that lingered for a moment soon afterwards.
"Cloud?" I gasped, now letting out my breath and staring down at my waist in fear.
I rubbed the area in which he had rested his hand upon gently and then heard Cloud's voice come through.
"Yeah?"
"Did you hear that?" I asked, not caring if I sounded like a nervous wreck, because I was a nervous wreck.
"Hear what?" he asked sounding slightly confused.
I turned around to make sure that the person had now gone. The only things behind me were the bath and a few towels on the towel rack.
"Did something happen?" he asked now sounding concerned; something that I didn't want him to convey. It made me feel weak.
I once again stared into the mirror and saw my own reflection but altered immensely.
I wasn't staring at my current self, but perhaps what I could have looked like a few years ago. There I was…standing in a white nightie with a small bump protruding from my abdomen. The sight scared me, it truly did. It was then that I felt a sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach. I began to lean onto the sink for support and hang my head in pain.
Sucking in a deep breath I finally allowed myself to fall onto my knees, still holding onto the basin with one hand, resting my forehead against it.
"No…I lost him." I breathed, now clutching onto my stomach in anguish, where once an infant lay in the womb long ago.
I could feel the exact same agonising, throbbing, uncomfortable sensation start to take over. I had felt this once before, years ago.
"He's gone." I gasped, now screwing up my face, as faint spasms of pain began to increase rapidly.
That night on my nineteenth birthday he was going to ask me something. I had something to tell him as well. We were interrupted. I remember it so clearly now.
Then, on the night he left…"Argh." I cried as I descended to the floor, losing my grip on the sink.
"Tifa!" the voice rang through my mind. I opened my eyes abruptly. The pain had ceased within seconds of hearing him. I could no longer feel anything. I was numb and wanted nothing more to do with any of this.
"Tifa he's here!"
"I can't…" I started with a quiet voice, about ready to tell him that I would not be a part of this anymore, but then suddenly thought of Reno.
I would put my own pain aside and help him. What had happened was in the past and that's how it needed to stay.
"I'll be down in a second." I answered, as I shakily pulled myself up with the support of the sink once more.
"Okay we're turning off our volume now. You won't hear us anymore after this." He informed and with that the buzzing ceased and I began to make my way out of the room.
Moments later I was in the bar and stood at the sink trying to calm my nerves. Images of a child were swimming through my head. I felt like being sick. Little fragments of my dream started to piece itself together; sending a chill up my spine each time. It was then that I heard someone open the door to the bar.
Hang on. Since when does Reno have a key to my house? I wondered now turning to face the door.
"Yuffie where are you?" I heard him call out.
I fully turned from my position at the sink where I was 'cleaning dishes' and called back, "She's still in bed."
This was already beginning to fell weird. I was lying to him. He deserved better than this. But I reminded myself that I was helping him.
"Hmm…" he sighed and sauntered over to a table near the bar. "Oh and Yuffie gave me a spare key in case you're wondering. Didn't think you'd be up." He explained.
I nodded and replied, "Oh okay."
I could feel his eyes on me and I began to feel nervous. What if he knew what was going on?
No that's impossible.
I stood up a little so that I wasn't leaning forward as much and giving him the opportunity to see the microphone and…other things.
"So Teef." He began while leaning back in his chair, "How's things?"
"Um, good." I responded, hoping that I wasn't answering with unusually short replies too quickly.
"Ah hah." He nodded satisfactorily, leaning back on his chair and placing both hands behind his head.
Although he hadn't been here barely five minutes, I could tell that there was something very different about him. His behaviour and tone of voice was not the same. I mean he practically came bursting through my door screaming for Yuffie.
However she hadn't been here for him much lately. He was most likely anxious to see her is all.
"You know…" he started thoughtfully, "I always did wonder why a fine specimen such as yourself has been without a man for so long."
Thank you Reno. Cloud can hear every single word you're saying.
I stopped washing the dishes then and held my breath. Frowning inwardly I wondered what on earth brought this topic of conversation up. However trying to find a suitable comment to his somewhat of a question was not something I got to think about for long.
"I was thinking…" he continued, "You wouldn't have to have a relationship or anything like that. Just a fling or something couldn't hurt."
What was he on? He wasn't making any sense. He was speaking as though we had spoken about this before.
I frowned, and now decided to speak, "What are you getting at?" returning to scrubbing the dishes rather harshly.
It was then that I heard him stand and begin to make his way over to my current position at the sink. I watched as his well-dressed form walked around my left and come to a stop right behind me.
Fully aware that he was now behind me, I still continued to scrub away at non-existent food particles on the cutlery in my hands, until I unexpectedly felt him suddenly rest two palms firmly on my hips.
I instantly let go of the plate and gasped unintentionally. Something was definitely wrong here. This was not the Reno I knew. Something had changed in him overnight it seemed and I was feeling rather uneasy from the current position we were both in.
"Well," he began, answering my previous question, "Yuffie's always out, I'm always free…and you…you're always here."
Lifting my eyebrows in absolute shock and disgust I turned and removed his hands roughly from my sides.
"Are you seriously suggesting to me that we…" I couldn't even speak, that's how sickened I was. He was suggesting that we…ugh. I couldn't even think it.
He merely reached out and took a lock of hair between his fingers and ran through it softly, causing me to step back a little.
"I thought we could perhaps…come to a little arrangement." He suggested in a sinister way, not hesitating to wink mischievously.
This was not happening. Seriously, this has got to be some kind of setup. But who in their right mind would play this kind of sick joke? This is not happening. I tried yet again to convince myself. What were the others thinking? I wasn't exactly getting any answers out of him. All they could hear was him coming onto me and for all they knew we could have been getting together behind Yuffie's back for ages. To them it might seem as though I was simply acting as though I didn't want to be with him because they were listening in.
I tried to back away once more only to find that the sink was blocking my path.
"Of course we'd have to remove your little friends." And with that being said he moved forward hastily, slid his fingers underneath my robe and fumbled for the device, while I stood there in absolute shock.
My face drained of its natural colour as I tried to register what had just happened. Reno had just found out that I was working undercover.
As I stared into his eyes I thought I recognised something. Small little flames of silver were visible, licking dangerously around the centre.
"I know what you're up to." He whispered, now crushing the device between his fingers slowly.
This is just great.
Deciding to scare him a little – if that was at all possible – which would hopefully result in him telling me something or acting in a way that would prove out of the ordinary…for him anyway at the moment, I stated, "I can have you locked up in seconds now."
I'm sorry Reno. Don't hate me for this. I knew that what he was doing was absolutely wrong but I didn't think that he was capable of actually being involved with the man they were after, who seemed to be nothing more then a murderous psycho.
Suddenly his hand whipped around his back and then as fast as lightening he held something to my neck. I felt the cold blade of a dagger of some sort digging into my throat, causing my breathing to sound rather hoarse.
"And I can slit your throat." He threatened with a face of pure rage.
In his eyes I thought I saw something. His reaction to my threat was not triggered by just that. It seemed that he had more reason then just this current situation to be holding a lethal weapon to my neck. It was so scary that I even contemplated the fact that he had been wanting to kill me for some time.
Tearing me out of my thoughts, shots were heard as they fired into my bar, shattering windows and bottles of alcohol in every direction.
"Argh!" I heard Reno groan as splashes of liquid stung his eyes. He pulled the dagger away, giving me a chance to escape while I still could.
"Seize him." I heard Cloud shout as men came bursting through the main door.
I stood there not knowing what else to do. I was leaning against the bar, coming to the sudden realisation that I was dripping in my own alcohol and my own blood. I stared down at my hands and noticed that they were shaking uncontrollably, along with the rest of my body.
I couldn't hear anything going on around me anymore. All I was able to think of at that point of time was that I might have just lost my life to a man I thought was my friend. Someone I had trusted. But then…everyone I considered a friend and one of them, something more…had all made my faith in them drop to an inconsiderable low as of late.
All of a sudden someone took a hold of both my hands and was leaning their face down so that they could look into my eyes. His lips were moving, as he tried to speak to me, but I could not hear him. I looked over to Reno who stood on the other side of the room, yelling out unheard words in my direction as he was dragged away by two other men.
I felt a hand turn my face towards the person in front of me again.
"Tifa?" his words were faint this time but I still heard him.
I bit onto my lip, tasting some of the bitter liquor and closed my eyes.
I'm not okay.
My hands were let go and I was taken into a strong embrace. My cheek and hands pressed against his firm chest, and his arms stroked my back slowly and gently.
But something felt different. My left upper arm was throbbing immensely and cold fluid could be felt pressing against my skin.
Blood. I remember seeing blood.
He pulled away at that moment and clutched a gloved hand to the wounded area, causing me to wince and grasp onto his hand impulsively.
"You're bleeding." He stated and held onto my arm while moving behind the bar and pulling open cupboards and drawers hastily.
"What are you looking for?" I asked between breaths and cringing at both the stinging and throbbing sensation in my arm.
"Something to dress your arm." He replied quickly and soon enough he came across a dishcloth.
Turning to me he said, "This might hurt a little."
Carefully he removed his hand and began to slowly fold the cloth over the top of my upper arm and then tying it firmly at the back. I winced yet again as he tied the final knot and then placed a hand over the wound to apply a little pressure.
"Thanks." I said, feeling a little better and replacing his hand with my own, gripping onto the wound firmly.
He nodded, without even taking a glance my way. Silence ensued and I waited for him to say something about how I stuffed up the entire 'supposed' interrogation.
"Sorry about the bar." He apologised; my attention now turning to the area in which we both stood, a little surprised he even cared.
Staring around at the overturned tables and chairs, noting the bottles of liquor on the bench knocked over, draining the last of their contents and spotting glinting glass, along with bullet shells carpeting the majority of the floor, was just too hard to take in.
I'm going to have to walk through that barefoot. Taking particular attention to the razor sharp glass.
I sighed and waved it off, "It's fine." Who was I kidding? Nothing was fine at the moment.
"I'll have this cleaned up." He affirmed and then ran a hand through his hair, ruffling it back into soft tufts.
Noticing a bottle of alcohol that still stood strong on the right of me, I reached out for it and for the first time I took a swig of Tequila. Not knowing how to handle the drink I swallowed it too slowly and as it slid down my throat a burning sensation overtook my chest.
"Oh." I coughed, slapping a hand against my chest, "Never again." I panted and felt the bottle unexpectedly ripped from my hand.
Moving my eyes over to Cloud I saw him gulp down the drink and contort his face into one of aversion as he removed the bottle from his lips.
"Same here." He commented and sat the bottle down on the counter firmly.
We both stood there for a minute, waiting for the bitter taste to settle. Suddenly Cloud shuffled and held a hand to his ear, turning away from me.
"Yeah…yeah…look I couldn't very well let him kill her now could I?"
There was a pause.
"He had a dagger Vincent, what was I supposed to do?"
Another pause indicated that he was listening to whatever Vincent had to say. At that moment I felt a sharp pain pierce throughout my abdomen. Clutching onto my lower stomach I slightly bent my head and cringed.
"Look just leave it. It's done now." he replied in frustration as he removed the earpiece and shoved it into his pocket.
Whirling around to face me once more he smiled weakly and almost hesitantly. "Vincent wants us back." but upon noticing my discomfort he asked if I was okay. I simply nodded, feeling the throbbing ache begin to subside.
"Is he angry?" I asked timidly, brushing aside strands of hair.
"A little. But not with you." He reassured.
Nodding I proceeded to make my way out through the ruins of my once lively tavern. I would be looking at vast expenses to repair the windows and the furniture. Not to mention the beverages.
"Damn it." I cursed as I felt something razor sharp pierce the flesh of my heel. Jumping at the slight pain, I brought my foot up to inspect the damage, while holding onto the counter for support.
"That's the second time this week." I whispered to myself, as I carefully plucked the tiny piece of glass from my foot, watching as a small stream of blood made its way towards the back my ankle.
Letting go of my foot I stared out at the floor. There's glass everywhere.
"Allow me." Cloud offered as he began to place an arm around my waist. Turning my head, slightly stunned, I noted that his face was only centimetres away from my own. But he wasn't looking at me. His eyes were concentrating on his other arm as it came underneath the back of my knees.
As awkward as it was, I didn't object. I was not about to act like a stubborn fool just to prove that I no longer needed him or his help. Yeah maybe I should have just taken the pain and walked right through the shards of glass. But I still had to think of Marlene. My right hand and left arm were already wounded. I would be stupid to let myself endure any more harm to my body and end up being totally useless to her if she was in danger.
So resting a hand on his right shoulder I allowed him to carry me outside onto the street, where I requested that he put me down and allow me to walk the rest of the way.
Location: SOLDIER Base
Time: 12:00 pm
Cloud's POV:
"You didn't follow orders. You went in there playing hero before she even got anything out of him." Vincent yelled furiously, as he paced back and forth behind his desk.
"You aren't seeing things as they were. She wouldn't have been able to find out anything. He knew we were there. He knew what was happening." I clarified.
Upon seeing Vincent's face, which began to soften as he started to listen, I continued, "He took the device off her and then held a dagger to her neck threatening to kill her. Now tell me…at which point should I have intervened?" I finished off sarcastically, turning away.
He was silent for a moment but then mumbled, "I apologise."
What? Vincent apologising? Vincent practically admitting that he was wrong?
Before I could even accept his apology he began speaking again.
"Now I must discuss something with you."
Curious, I rotated around so that I was facing his current position in his chair.
"What's up?" I asked strolling over to him.
He was tapping away on his laptop hastily until suddenly he came to a halt and turned it in my direction.
"Read that."
Frowning I leant down a little so that I could get a better view of the screen.
'I want the materia by tomorrow night. If thou should fail to bring it to the Seventh Heaven it will be the worst mistake of your life.'
"But we don't have it." I yelled slamming the screen shut.
"Aye aye aye", Vincent shouted. I turned and raised an eyebrow. "Respect the PC." He finished.
"Okay then." I replied, slightly backing off.
"Look you're going to have to ask her." Vincent confirmed in a more serious tone, now sitting back in his chair.
"Look, it's not as simple as that." I shot back trying to make him see reason.
"I don't particularly care. If Kadaj gets his hands on that materia we are all as good as dead." He replied. He was pissed off and I wasn't keen to stick around for him to show his ugly side. I'd met Chaos once or twice. He wasn't someone who I'd like to make a point of seeing again.
"I should probably go." I suggested and started to quicken my pace towards the door.
I turned to see Vincent rest his head in his hand and tell me to lock the door on the way out.
My thoughts exactly.
After leaving Vincent's office I decided that I'd better go see how the others had dealt with Reno. Upon my arrival I heard a pissed off Reno yelling out something about how this was all Tifa's fault. I swear if he even mentioned her name again in my presence I'd kill him.
Walking past a few men I finally made it over to the redheads' cell. He was sweating and fuming with rage.
I stood about thirty centimetres away from his chamber and tapped the bars with my right hand. His attention turned to me almost instantly. Dark eyes turned to glare at me and the next I knew he was in my face cursing and acting like a mad man.
His words had no affect on me whatsoever. I simply stood there and took it all in, waiting for him to finish so that I could get on with what I needed to say.
Around fifteen minutes and a thousand foul-mouthed words later I finally was able to say my piece.
"Finished now?" I inquired while slowly blinking.
Spitting at me he turned and ran over to his stool, which he used to throw against the wall on the right of his cell.
Closing my eyes and wiping disgustedly at the saliva on my left cheek I decided that he was in no mood to talk. He needed to calm down before he could think. So moving away I left him under the watchful eyes of the other men untilhe was ready. I would give him enough time to come to his senses and when I came back he would tell us where Kadaj was residing.
Location: SOLDIER Base
Time: 1:00 pm
Yuffie's POV:
"Tifa I don't think you're okay." I stated, observing her pale skin and faintish expression from where she lay on the bed. Marlene had been here a while ago, but I had moved her into my room for the time being. Tifa needed some space.
"It'll pass." She mumbled and continued to hold onto her stomach like she had been for the past hour or so.
"At least take something for the pain." I tried in a persuasive tone. Everything was just not going right.
Reno was no longer a suspect; he was a definite part of this whole Kadaj scheme.
Why had he gotten himself involved in something as stupid as that?
But right now Tifa was unwell. I can only recall one other time when she was like this and it was the most awful memory I could think of.
A small groan of pain from Tifa pulled me back to the present. Cloud needed to know about this. Tifa had said that she would tell Cloud when the time was right but with the way things were headed, NOW was the right time to tell him. Vincent had told me a fair bit about Cloud and his intentions when he had left Tifa. I suddenly felt as sorry for him as I did for her. He too had to give up his only love for two years.
Her father was the most important person in her life besides Cloud and I had seen how greatly she missed him over the years. Cloud had wanted to find out exactly what happened to him that night on her nineteenth birthday. The only way to do that was to join SOLDIER, with whom Lockheart had been associated. Kadaj was not a new threat to SOLDIER or the world. He had been around for years supposedly. Tifa's father had become close with Kadaj's parents as part of a mission in order to retrieve an ancient artefact, so that it could be destroyed once and for all. Something involving the amulet had driven Kadaj to kill Lockheart that night. Vincent had given me a brief history overview as well, which mainly revolved around someone named 'Sephiroth'.
Sephiroth had lived a few decades ago and had created an elite group named 'SHINRA'. He was a power hungry twenty something year old man who had discovered that an ancient artefact would allow him to create a better world. His intentions had been good at first, however that all changed the day he obtained the precious stone. Somehow the amulet possessed him. He became a threat to all human kind and the planet itself.
However there was one group by the name of SOLDIER. Vincent had been there the day SOLDIER destroyed Sephiroth. In fact Vincent was the one who finished him off for good. One of the other men in the group who went by the name of Hojo was given the responsibility of destroying the amulet. However he could not and so passed it down to the first-born male of each generation. One day however, all knowledge of it was lost. The last child who was supposed to receive the amulet never did and it was found out later on that Kadaj was that child. That explains his hunt for it, but it doesn't tell us why he killed Lockheart. According to Vincent, Lockheart never obtained the amulet before he died. There were so many questions I needed to ask, such as, how was it possible that Vincent finished off Sephiroth around three decades ago when he was around the age of thirty now? They would have to wait for later.
"Teef, you need something for, this." I told her as I gestured towards her shaking body. "I'm going to get you something to help you sleep."
"You won't…say anything, will you?" she asked quietly.
"I'll be right back." I called from the door ignoring her question. I would not be able to keep that promise, so pretending not to even hear her query in the first place would make it all the more easier for me to tell Cloud what I knew.
Time was running out.
Cloud's POV:
I'd barely made my way down the hallway when I ran into Yuffie.
"Hey slow down." I frowned, grabbing onto her elbows to halt her.
I saw then that she held onto a satchel of pills. Raising an eyebrow curiously I let go of her and asked, "What's that for?" nodding my head in the direction of the satchel.
"I just have a headache is all." Yuffie smiled and raised a hand to her forehead as if to prove to me that she was telling the truth.
"That's pretty strong meds you have there for a simple headache." I observed, now folding my arms.
"Oh well…it's a pretty strong headache." She nodded and then proceeded to make her way down to the room in which Tifa was resting.
I was quick to hold her back again and say, "Yuffie, your room, if I remember correctly, is in the other direction."
She slowly turned and smiled yet again, "Oops, forgot."
"Are you ready to tell me what you're up to?" I asked becoming more serious, knowing full well that she was hiding something.
Ripping her arm from my grasp she blurted out, "Tifa's got cramps."
"Is it serious?" I inquired now concerned.
"Look I really gotta get this to her." she rushed out, dismissing my question and heading off to Tifa's room.
I let her go but followed close behind.
Upon entering her room I found Tifa lying on top of the bed covers perspiring like mad, clutching onto her stomach and writhing in pain.
"Shit Yuffie give me those." I panicked, snatching the satchel from her and letting two tablets slide out into the palm of my hand.
"Get some water." I ordered.
She was quick to obey and ran into the bathroom, while I sat on the edge of the bed lifting Tifa's head up against my shoulder.
A few seconds later Yuffie returned and thrust a paper cup of water in my direction. Placing one pill on her tongue I brought the water up to her mouth and allowed her to swallow.
"She was fine when we left the bar." I thought out loud, although as I said this I remembered that she did look slightly uncomfortable for a moment back there.
"You should leave now." Yuffie said seriously in a low voice. I'd never heard her use that tone before.
"Is there something you're not telling me?" I asked now turning to her.
Sighing she placed a hand to her head and replied, "It's something Tifa will have to tell you."
"But she's kinda not up to it at the moment and I need to know now. I'm running out of time with things as it is." I paused. "Is it something to do with the materia?"
Screwing up her face she asked, "What materia?"
"Okay, obviously not." I sighed, dismissing the subject and focusing back on the woman in my arms.
"Look I need to tell you something. I know Tifa's going to hate me for it but it's important." Yuffie divulged with a hint of uncertainty.
Tifa seemed to be calming down now so laying her head back down onto the pillow I stood and waited for her to continue.
"Not here." Yuffie said, now moving out of the room.
Once outside she turned to me and said, "Now what I'm going to tell you is something that only I and Tifa know about."
I was becoming anxious by now and nodded my head understandingly.
Taking a deep breath she spoke, 'Tifa's having phantom cramps."
"You mean there's nothing really wrong with her?" I interrupted.
Holding up a hand to hush me she continued, "It's a little more complicated than that."
"I shouldn't be telling you this." She said yet again, more to herself than me.
"Look I promise not to mention this to anyone. Just tell me." I demanded through clenched teeth.
"Well you see, it involves you." She looked away hesitantly and began to play with her nails absentmindedly.
"Me?" I repeated questioningly, a little surprised and instantly becoming even more interested in what she had to say.
"Mmm." She nodded.
"Yuffie, can you please just spit it out?" I laughed nervously, just about ready to strangle her.
"Well, when you left that night, Tifa hadn't told you something. She was…" she brushed furiously at her hair and drifted off into her own thoughts again.
"Yuffie?" I asked holding onto her shoulders and staring pleadingly into her eyes. "Please, whatever it is. Just tell me."
A few moments of contemplative silence ensued before she finally answered, "She…was pregnant Cloud."
I felt my eyes widen and my face drain into a ghostly shade of white, unable to speak.
"Cloud you're hurting me." she winced as she tried to pry my hard fingers off of her shoulders.
I unlatched my fingers in a flash, and stood there.
"I think you can figure out the rest." Yuffie mumbled and turned away with discomfort.
"She got rid of it?" I breathed, now unable to keep my heart at a stable rate.
"What? Cloud of course not. She lost it the night you left." She practically yelled in disgust that I could even assume such a thing.
"I'm sorry…I'm not thinking." I slurred now stumbling backwards and feeling my back hit the wall.
"I was there with her. She was a real mess." Yuffie said quietly. "It was horrible."
"I think…I'm gonna be sick." I coughed out and began to bolt down to my room, while clasping onto my mouth.
"I had to tell you Cloud." She called after me down the hall; her voice cracking at the haunting memory she'd acquired years ago.
Minutes later I was in my bathroom coughing up food I didn't even remember eating into the toilet. Allowing the last remnants to escape my throat, I sat back onto the floor and brushed my hair back harshly, breathing as though I hadn't had air for an age.
"Shit, shit, shit." I breathed now shaking my head and having faint flashbacks.
Flashback
"Cloud will you just stop for a minute!" she yelled in frustration.
I was making my way around my room hurriedly gathering clothes and the like and stuffing them into a suitcase.
"I really don't need this now." I grumbled, desperately trying not to lose my temper, as I brushed past.
"Where do you think you're going?" she asked now grabbing onto my arm and trying to turn me around.
Pulling away I said, "Tifa will you just back off? I don't have time for this."
She paused for a moment and then shouted, "No I won't. Not until I get some answers. Now until you tell me what the fuck is going on…"
Her tone was one of pure rage and it cut deep to hear her usual caring voice taken over by it. I had done this. I cut her off right there, "You know screaming at me is not going to make me change my mind."
"Change your mind about what!" she cried.
"PLEASE!" I finally cracked.
Turning to her I saw that I had affected her severely. Her eyes stared up at me as if trying to find something that wasn't there. It was as if she didn't know me anymore.
"Teef." I sighed raising a tired hand to my forehead.
She simply backed off and left the room. She was gone.
But later on that night she came back for me. I was mounting my Fenrir at the time in the middle of a thunderstorm. She came out crying and pleading for me to stay, grasping onto my arm and asking what had she done wrong. Nothing…she hadn't done anything to deserve this, but in another sense she did. She deserved the best in life. I was leaving to help her. Her father was the last of her family and I had to find him for her. Yuffie would be here for her until I got back. Her final words were, "I'll still be waiting here for you when you get back."
End Flashback
"Fucking stupid. Fucking young and stupid." I shouted furiously, now lifting myself up from the floor and leaning on the rim of the basin. The words of truth had begun to sink in now. I was beginning to realise the full extent of damage I had caused to the one person I loved most.
Staring up I saw my reflection in the mirror and began to think things over that I had ignored for years.
Yuffie was only Tifa's friend; she needed someone who loved her to be there for her at night. She needed someone to cuddle up to. And where was I? Out trying to find a man that was already most likely dead and yet I stayed on at SOLDIER simply because I was asked to help out with this Kadaj problem soon after.
"I should have come back." I whispered, now regretting the sudden and thoughtless decisions I had made. Decisions that had gotten me nowhere. Decisions that had killed…
I looked on as my face began to turn red with fury. I was not going to lose control, I had to…
However, I was not able to keep that promise I made to myself. I felt my fist collide with a smooth glass surface, which soon shattered, splitting the skin on my knuckles open and spraying tiny shards in every direction.
I lifted my left arm to shield my face and turned slightly to my right to avoid the hazardous debris.
"Cloud what the?" "Shit what did ya do to yaself?" Cid's voice could immediately be heard upon entering my room.
Breathing hard I held onto my hand, which had begun to bleed profusely. Feeling my eyelids begin to flicker, I started to back up to the wall behind me.
"Man you don't look too good. Paler then usual." He observed.
"I just…I needa sit down." I replied feeling faintish and allowing my body to slide to the floor and hanging my head between my knees.
He knelt down too and looked me over carefully and then grasped onto my hand.
"Now that will not do." He stated; examining my wounded knuckles.
"Stay right there till I get back alright." He ordered now standing.
I smiled faintly and laughed lightly, "I don't think that'll be a problem."
"So." He began as we stood outside the building, leaning on a railing a few stories up.
Resting my elbows on the paling I bowed my head and prompted, "So what?
"You don't mean to tell me that you got all worked up over nothing do ya? Something was on your mind." He said referring to the little incident in the bathroom.
"I was just in a bad mood." I mumbled now shuffling my feet over the small grains of dirt on the cement.
"I could see that." He replied as he inhaled a deep breath of a fresh-lit cigarette.
We stood like that for a while, just staring out over the property of the Base.
I'm never going to live this down. I sighed inwardly as I thought over what Yuffie had told me again.
"Care to share?" he asked quietly but curiously.
Turning my head to the right I frowned and inquired, "Share what?"
Taking a deep breath he replied seriously with a frown, "Some of those drugs I seen you sneaking out of the aid room."
Widening my eyes in shock I soon realised that he was only screwing with my mind.
"About what's bothering you, you jackass." He laughed now patting me on the back.
"That's the word for it." I affirmed and turned to lean back on the railing.
"Has something happened?" he asked hesitantly.
"I can't say." I answered, now looking in the opposite direction.
"Getting all personal on me now eh?"
I continued to stare into space without so much as a nod and then pulled myself up to sit on the edge of the barrier; slouching a little.
"What's my purpose here Cid?" I finally asked, turning my head to face him.
He shrugged and replied, "Well it shouldn't be all too hard to figure out if you remember why you joined in the first place."
"I do remember."
"And what was your reason?"
"I joined to find Lockheart."
"I see." He nodded thoughtfully.
"What's the problem then?" he sustained with a frown after I yet again gave no response.
"You know as well as I do that he's dead."
"Hey, hey, hey, what are you doin out here little miss?" he piped up, flicking his cigarette butt away and turning slightly.
Screwing my face up in utter confusion I shouted, "Little miss?"
His eyes averted to the door in which we had exited moments before and so following his gaze I saw that Tifa stood just metres away, looking gaunt and pale.
I felt the blood begin to pulse in my ears rapidly along with my heart that had instantly started to pound like crazy. I let go of the railing and jumped down to the floor, instantly bowing my head, trying to avoid her eyes.
All was quiet for a while until Cid spoke up and said he'd leave us to it.
I was nervous. I didn't know what to do or what to say.
Should I keep quiet? Should I apologise? I knew so much more now and the chances of me slipping up and asking her about…the baby, were very high.
Lifting my head a little I saw that she was watching me curiously and I knew then that I was either possibly going to screw things up for good, or…I was going to 'definitely' screw things up for good.
A/N: Bet you didn't see that one coming. I have been dying to type this chapter and now it's over and done with, just like that. This is by far the longest chapter I have ever written. I am very pleased with it and I hope that you appreciate the hard work I've put into it.
The reason as to why there was no mention of Tifa's miscarriage in the beginning is simply because when the story was in Tifa's point of view, she wasn't thinking about the baby. She had purposely pushed that memory away. However in this chapter she had a dream about the child that she never had. Or perhaps she just misinterpreted the dream. Whichever it may be, it will all become clear in the end and if you can put up with me until then I'll be forever grateful.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. The characters and everything associated with this story all belong to Square Enix.
Yunie Tidus