CHAPTER XV
Midnight Anxiety
"Flowers, Uzumaki!" he whispered in a childish tone, imitating Neji with his 'talking' hand mockingly, "Need to buy her flowers, Uzumaki, because it's —BLAHBLAHBLAH!" Naruto growled, and started beating the hand with an angry fist, "Stupid Hyuga!"
It was his entire fault that he was so frikkin' late! That… that FLOWER BOY actually forced him to buy some flowers when he was already going, no, not going— HURRYING to her place! And now here he was… a couple of minutes late. He pouted, 'Eight o'clock… dammit…'
Shouting out with a despairing cry, Naruto heavily flopped down on a stone seat, letting his limbs fly out with anguish. The bouquet ready, yet a bit ruffled, in his hands, although it was his body which didn't seem to be cooperating with him. It appears that Neji wasn't the only fault of his tardiness, because while he was running full speed towards her house, he suddenly stopped on his tracks and idiotically decided to spy a boy, who was unusually reading… porn and was mercilessly being scolded at by a girl—just like what he and Sakura used to do. And after that little view he suddenly walked absentmindedly slower to a dawdling pace, until he realized he was… okay, so it was ENTIRELY his fault that he was late, big deal, right?
"Ugh," he massaged his forehead, hoping that the continuous throb in his brain would end: of course it was a 'big deal'. This was Sakura-chan for crying out loud!
… then again, Sakura wasn't the only person he was dreading to meet. Naruto relaxed for a bit, trying to calm himself from the terrifying thought of finally meeting her own, precious family. A leaf flew around his pate and landed on the ground softly. He picked it up and examined it languidly, hoping to rid his anxiety using concentration…
Relax… just breathe, in and out…
The time after dusk felt heavy to him and cold as well. The small grove in front of him was glowing with a brighter dark, and the leaves' silhouette begged him to stand up and continue forward; trot on his path and, hopefully, walk towards his closure. The wind around him started playing a violin; a song filled with broken pride, and heartrending displays of sadness about a man facing his fear. The crickets chirped along the lullaby, and forced him to walk on his path… but it seems that he had stopped wishing for closure right now. Naruto's palms were sweating, and his forehead, too. His legs shook whenever he tried to stand up, and his stomach didn't feel that hungry anymore. No more comforting thoughts about food, it seems.
He sighed.
Naruto felt cold, both on the inside and the out, even if the air whispered and told him that they were warmer than his mother's first touch. He rolled his eyes resignedly, "You friggin' chicken," he muttered to himself. He suddenly didn't want to care anymore, whether or not Sakura would forgive him about NOT coming to the place he most feared, and whether or not Sakura would ever talk to him and acknowledge him, and maybe even— if possible— have the soul to love him again.
... naah, it would be too selfish to wish for that. She was already happy, and he was just meddling in her life like some nosey parker.
"I give up…" he muttered.
He just sat there, feeling his heart fade from a thousand drums to a soft tinkle, having the satisfaction of that sound turn dull in his ears. All was good— everything is fine, just as long as he has an excuse as to why he missed dinner.
But then, he stopped. He stopped thinking about how relieved he felt, he stopped thinking about the world which still— STILL begged him to go on his road, he stopped moving, he stopped blinking... his figure halted to a morbid hiatus when he realized that…
He was running away again…
"Meh, Sasuke's a frikkin' chicken, anyways," Naruto said, hiding his face with his arms as he leaned on the table,
"Hopefully he hits his head and realizes what crap he's doing," Ten-ten added,
"Hmph!" Lee stood up from his seat and did a confident pose, "TEAM EIGHT WILL NEVER DO SUCH A THING! Right, Gai-sensei?"
"We're all family!" Gai said, doing his usual 'Gai pose'—complete with his straight, unwavering thumb and flawlessly white teeth, "Nobody goes back once they're in! It's a wonderful thing called LOVE!"
"I think he's just being a coward," Neji stated after sipping a noodle from his bowl, "Finding power even if it destroys him, killing Sakura's parents as ill-fated captives, excusing his own self because of some purpose we've yet to understand… I think that sums it up. Don't you think so too, Naruto?"
"Eh?" Naruto looked up and frowned, the trouble in his eyes never turning placid. He sighed and hid his face in his arms, even ignoring the lulling smell of ramen in front of him, "Just a friggin' ass chicken…"
Naruto rose stiffly from his position and quickly walked towards Sakura's home without ever looking back, his eyes set on his destination solidly: never wavering, never hesitating—this is who he really is, and he will never run away again, 'I'm NOT a chicken,' he thought to himself, 'And I'm most definitely NOT a fuckin' coward,'
The Uchiha household was absolutely breathtaking. One thing: it was huge, clean—a perfect home for a wife and kids. Naruto stared at it with absolute awe and jealousy: could he have provided Sakura with THAT kind of house if she picked him before? Maybe—but right now he felt that he was stuck in a filthy gutter.
He looked around and saw a vast amount of plants surrounding the house everywhere, and there was a little swing hanging from one of the trees, 'Cherry blossoms,' he noted, 'These are cherry blossoms.'
A gift for his wife, perhaps?
Herbs of different kinds were abundant in the Uchiha garden, and the palace itself was painted green, 'Like her eyes,'
Oh god— he didn't know that Uchiha can be such a charming bastard…
He swallowed his pride and walked: simple step by simple step, towards Sakura's home. He felt faint and wanted to swoon at that very instant, but forced himself to stay mindful and keep his will harder than a rock. A hesitant fist raised up on the door, poised to knock but couldn't. He was stone, rigid. It was painful enough to spy them kiss romantically in a garden, with their kid in her arms, how painful will it be when he's in the very place where they grew closer with each other as a whole? He cursed under his breath and felt his hand involuntarily knocked on the dreaded door.
Naruto stood back in an instant when a noise, muffled by the door, startled him. He tightly shut his eyes, bracing himself from the… impact (whatever it is), not caring whether or not he looked childish at all.
The door opened… and his eyes were still shut tight. A yellow light filled the darkness in his eyelids while he waited for Sakura's laugh, or maybe a possible mocking comment about how stupid he looked. He waited for her to drive him away; waited for her to lash out at him for being late… but instead—
Instead he heard a child's giggle ring sweetly in his ears. Could it be? Naruto opened his eyes and saw…
"Hallo!" the kid said with a large smile on his face. Well, what a warm welcome,
"H-hi," Naruto replied inaudibly, the child laughed in merriment at the strange, funny man in front of him,
"I'm Jinu, you're Naruto, aen't ya'?" the kid said vigorously with an adorable face, his raven hair glowing and meshing around the orange light behind him,
Naruto was surprised that the child had an air of intelligence in him, which undoubtedly came from his mother. Jinu's eyes held all: even if it was solidly black, it still held a tinge of innocence and joy. He smelt confidence in the boy, and even if the kid looked A LOT like his father, the dark, conceited Sasuke was absent within. Everything about that boy, even when Naruto just met him for a second— he was sure that he reminded him of his mother.
"Yeah… I guess so." Naruto smirked, kneeling on the child's level so they could see eye to eye,
"Well, okaa-san was expecting you," Jinu grabbed his hand and dragged him in their home, that large smile still plastered on his precious face, "C'mon! She's waitin' for ya'!"
He was lead through confusing doors and into rooms, into a big hall and around until they finally reached the kitchen, where he unexpectedly saw Sakura washing her hands in the sink. Her back was against him, so he didn't know whether or not she was having a load of hard feelings against him because of his Kakashi-like lateness, but she turned to him abruptly and smiled a warm smile, "Took you long enough," she teased; grabbing a towel near the sink and rubbing it on her course hands to dry.
Naruto's eyes widened: indeed, this IS a kitchen… but this is A kitchen. The biggest damn kitchen he's ever seen…
"Well don't just stand there!" she chuckled ecstatically, "Sit down! I prepared this dinner for you and thought you wouldn't come—"
"I'm REALLY sorry about that," Naruto said, his face contorted into a regretful appearance, "I was just…"
Sakura shook her hand in front of her and laughed, "No, no, it's okay, really. I understand."
"Right,"
"Right,"
"O-kay then,"
"Yeah!"
Jinu looked at both of them with a confused expression, and smiled, "Aren't okaa-san suppose to invite Naruto-san to sit down?"
Sakura rolled her eyes and rubbed Jinu's hair playfully, "You're too smart for you mother, know that?"
All of a sudden, Naruto's heart filled with joy when he heard the boy giggle at his mother and look at him like a son would to a father. Speaking of 'father', where the hell was— "Sasuke," he said, "Where's Sasuke?"
"Well… Hokage— busy— work… I think that says it all." Sakura said, "Sit down, I'm just gonna get something from… up there." She clumsily said, exiting the kitchen to go… somewhere, which is apparently 'up there'.
Jinu shook his head from his mother's obvious awkwardness. Grabbing Naruto's hand again, he humorously dragged the older man towards their table: "C'mon!" he said with that childish voice of his, "I'm hungry!"
In truth, Naruto thought that it was rather strange for a house this big to have a kitchen with a table, but then again, his rumbling stomach wasn't complaining. Naruto flopped down the wooden chair and looked to his right, noticing a large bowl filled with… Miso ramen?
"Ramen?" he said, "You like ramen?"
"Well…" the kid put a large heap of the stuff in his bowl with a sloppy 'plop', smiling wider than ever (if possible),
… he was starting to like this kid, a LOT. Not bothering to stay polite, he did just the same thing to his bowl, until both of them were equally sipping off their bowls like hungry mountain lions.
Sakura came back and sat down her seat, prior to Naruto's, when she noticed the two boys almost finishing it off with their meal, "Both of you got along fine," she smiled, grabbing her own meal herself,
"I take it," she said after a pause, "That Sasuke still didn't give you a mission,"
Naruto slurped a hanging noodle from his chin, looking at Sakura with tired eyes, "Well… I barely saw him. And he didn't call me to his office."
She quietly giggled, "I expected you to be jumping up and down for missions, but it seems that my guesses were mistaken,"
"Well, people do change," Naruto said,
"I guess so. Although, I do hope that the business around this town change." Sakura lifted a troubled eyebrow, "I mean, Sasuke's usually up all night doing PAPERWORK! It's just— unfair," Sakura pouted,
"Otou-san barely comes home," Jinu frowned as he started picking on his bowl,
"Well, he's gonna make it up for us, eh Jinu?" Sakura motherly smiled at him,
The child smiled energetically, "AHUH!"
He couldn't believe it. Earlier he thought that things could possible go out of proportion, when right now he was feeling so comfortable that he could strip down his clothes and go everywhere nude! The world stopped spinning and he felt himself settle down into a relaxed mood.
"Well, you know the responsibilities of a Hokage." Naruto smirked, "Yet I'm glad that Sasuke got the job instead of some other idiot."
… what a lie…
"I do think he's doing a good job. He prevented two wars from coming our way,"
Ugh, jealous— Sasuke may prevent two wars, but Naruto knew that he could prevent a thousand!
"So both of you named him Jinu, eh?" Naruto said, hoping to get off the subject as soon as possible,
"Well, 'Jinu' is only a nickname by his father. I originally named him—"Sakura paused for a moment, engaging herself with her food as Naruto waited for her to continue, "Uchiha Naruto,"
He froze.
Uchiha… Naruto? They named their kid with HIS name? He looked at Sakura, his eyes wide with shock, squinting with a startling expression with his face, and leaning towards Sakura as if he couldn't believe what he had just heard from her lips. Although it was apparent that Jinu was oblivious to their low conversation, and busied himself with stuffing his face with food.
"N-Naruto?"
"We didn't forget you, Naruto," she whispered,
Naruto gradually went back to his bowl and continued eating silently, his face riddled with thoughts and bewilderment, 'Good,' he thought, after a moment of thinking, 'At least somebody has my name,'
Their dinner went well unlike what he had expected from before. They ate with silent gratitude and relief, which Naruto didn't know he could feel with Sakura's son nearby. Sasuke still hasn't come home yet, and instead of what he thought would be a 'joyous' Team 7 reunion, there they were: alone with little Jinu up in his room, slumbering. Naruto was sitting on the porch drinking, while Sakura relaxed on a comfortable chair with her own drink in her hand. They barely talked at all, and usually ended up mumbling replies sheepishly to each other. Naruto could think of a thousand subjects he wanted to talk about with Sakura, but usually stopped himself and ended up gaping like an idiot.
The butterflies were still flying around in his stomach, so, gulping his drink down his throat faster than a kunai, he faced her and swallowed his unease, "I heard about that White Dragon who once terrorized Konoha," he whispered, slowly facing Sakura from her seat, "What happened to obaa-chan?"
"Well, she went away to the Hidden Sand…" Sakura technically smiled as she thought about her former sensei, "Who knows what she's doing there right now, probably gambling. But Shizune's with her, as usual, trying to hit some sense into her. Ever since Jiraiya—"
He scoffed, "Still can't find Ero-sennin, eh?"
"It's impossible for him to die—"
"Then how did he disappear?" he scratched his neck with irritation, "I just don't understand: one night he was walking along the road, and the next day his clothes were lying on the ground WITHOUT him in it… it just doesn't make sense."
"It confused all of us, Naruto," she mumbled, "The White Dragon… it's something else. It's not human, and it's definitely not one of the biju…"
"Then what the hell is it? Where the hell did it come from?"
She paused, "From what I heard, they said that it came from the center of the earth…"
"Naah," Naruto waved a dismissive hand, "I don't think I can believe that. It must have come from… somewhere else." he exhaled noisily, looking at his glass with disdain,
"I'm not gonna lie anymore, Sakura-chan. I'm spiraling downhill without feeling myself stop," he mumbled,
"Is it because… you didn't get the Hokage title?"
"No, it's because I don't know what to do with my life anymore… until—"
"Until?"
He looked at her: must he dare tell her his newfound purpose? He looked down and decided against it instead, "Nothing,"
"Don't do something stupid to yourself now, Naruto," she said dangerously,
"I'm not even thinking about that," he whispered,
Her eyes flashed, "Then what were you planning to do?"
He grinned and silently snickered briefly, "I'm planning to live."
…
Well that was a relief, and to Sakura it was more than relief: it was paradise. She was obviously worried that he would do something out of character, but rest assured he wouldn't. And thank GOD he didn't.
She took a last sip from her glass and nodded her head slightly, "I don't think it's wise to wait for Sasuke," she mentioned, "He usually comes home late; typically four in the morning or something like that. And since we're talking about truth or false I guess I can share something which is still lodged in my throat,"
Naruto's eyes glowered on that thought, like an owl hidden deep by the bowels of midnight. She wasn't implying what he thought she was implying right now, was she? "I think Sasuke's not in love with me anymore—"
"Impossible!" he swiftly exclaimed, "How can he not love you anymore? I mean, he DID marry you, right?" – as painful as it seems, he felt the truth in his voice come out louder, and plainer as day.
Sakura looked at him with utter perplexity, and right now she was very, very sure that Naruto was still in love with her. And because of that her heart remorsefully went out for him. She swallowed the sweet stuff under her tongue and replied: "Maybe because he barely took time for his family anymore,"
"Well, the obligations of a Hokage really are kinda difficult." Naruto said, "Since Konoha is his whole family, with you guys in it,"
"I guess so," she said. Thank god… thank god he was there to make her think otherwise of her negative thoughts— "I'm glad that you're back, Naruto,"
He smiled: this was definitely not like what he had expected. And from today's point of view, wandering around aimlessly like a coward was something he promised himself to never do in his lifetime, ever.
'I'm going on a mission tomorrow,' Sakura-chan had told him, 'so I want you to spend time with us first thing in the morning…'
Her voice kept ringing in Naruto's ears like soft tinkling of bells in the afternoon. The world has indeed gone dark (and it was time to sleep), yet he could feel his feelings go through the brighter day instead. He sighed: today was the most wonderful day in his life. Sure, he failed to meet with Sasuke, but that was one of the things he liked the most, even if he didn't want to freely admit it to himself. He smiled as he propped his hands under his head, staring blissfully at the ceiling with broad, hopeful eyes.
'Wonderful; perfect… just beautiful,'
It even seemed foolish that he hesitated to come to dinner with her and her son. 'Meh, stupid idiot-head,'
Nothing disturbing went through his head throughout that night, and for once he fell asleep while the brighter gloom of midnight watched over him. He felt absolutely PERFECT.
… although, he couldn't stop thinking about that faint light in Sasuke's office, 'Meh, he's working himself to death, Uchiha could use a little relaxation.'
"Ants have more legs than that!"
"Oh really? Can you count how many, then?"
"All right! I will!"
Jinu fell on his palms as he tried his best to count an ant's limbs while it fled: 'One… six… five… three —four…"
"SEE!" Jinu smiled triumphantly, "It has FIFTEEN legs!"
Naruto rolled his eyes and made a comical expression on his face, "Fine then, fifteen legs in all?"
Jinu unexpectedly jumped two feet to the air, and laughed when Naruto shrieked with shock, "Fifteen legs in all! Girly screamer!"
The kid suddenly went on a mad dash around the park while Naruto couldn't feel anything but intimidated by the little one, since his energy matched his when he was younger, "Girly screamer?" he pouted,
"Excuse him," Sakura said from the swing, "He just ate chocolate,"
"Chocolate is evil,"
"Obviously," she mocked,
Naruto absentmindedly scratched his head, "I guess it's getting late now, Sakura-chan,"
"I guess so," Sakura stood up and walked towards him with a thankful expression displayed on her face, "I'll be seeing you after my mission!" she said,
"Sure! I'm looking forward to it," Naruto said, "Hopefully Sasuke can spend some time with us, eh?"
What a lie, of course he didn't want her husband to come!
"Yeah, hopefully," Sakura took her way and walked towards her son who was running around like a dashing ball of fire, "Time to go home now, Jinu!"
"Aww…"
Naruto quickly turned his back against the two, since he didn't want the boy to plead him to stay and sleep at their house. It broke his heart that the child barely saw his father, and right now Naruto only guessed that Jinu favored him more than his own 'otou-san'. He stole a sideward glance at both mother and son: Sakura was watching him walk away with a small smile, while her son was frowning babyishly— adorable kid. His new purpose was a fulfilling one, indeed: protect them both… except Sasuke. He doesn't need protecting.
Naruto kicked some pebbles on the road, and he couldn't help but notice the very same flash of faint light in Sasuke's office. He looked around and decided to stop by, hopefully force Hokage-sama to talk to him about missions since he had the strength to go through one. Walking towards his office was like walking in ice: he felt numb and less boisterous. He felt mindful of his thoughts and not his steps, and his eyes failed to look straight and bowed down low to the ground instead.
The same pulsation of his heart thrummed in his ribcage painfully, and throbbed in his ears until he felt himself go mentally deaf. What's wrong with him? That ringing in his ears was like a malfunctioning train… like a dying bird. What the HELL is wrong with him? He shook his head distractedly and narrowed his concentration: the ringing was gone, and his terror was gone as well.
It was then he realized that he had finally reached his destination: Sasuke's office door. Right now, persuading the Uchiha to take a break would be difficult, he knew since he tasted paper work before, and it was a frikkin' pain in the ass indeed. Taking up all his courage he gained from earlier, he moved to knock on the door until he heard something.
No, it wasn't a groan of pain, or groan of irritation. Neither was it a groan of anger nor a groan of a disoriented mind… it sounded more like a…
He couldn't place it. The sounds were faint from behind the door, and he just couldn't help but try to find out what that disturbing feeling was. He narrowed his eyes as he put his ears into full concentration: the sounds were weak, very weak, and he was sure that those were very careful movements only a Hokage would boast.
… his eyes widened as he heavily wheezed from terror:
An erotic gasp…
A sigh!
A raise of hip!
A heavy thump!
And… a moan of a woman? From SASUKE'S office!
'But… wha—'
Naruto's eyes widened further as he bared his teeth with rage. That BASTARD; that ANIMAL! Ooh, he's TOTALLY going to get it now! Naruto's breathing rapidly gained momentum, and he felt his heart rise up to his throat with every furious gasp of delirium: Sasuke was cheating on Sakura-chan! Her thoughts proved right all along, and now he must straighten up the situation no matter how many consequences he may face.
But… but her heart would be broken into a thousand pieces— and her husband… the LOYAL Rokudaime…
Naruto's earlier joy cruelly melted, and made him feel more enraged as his fists tightened, ready to knock that Uchiha out of his own glass window and into his well deserved death.
Sasuke… you charming asshole…
A/N: Well, Chapter 15 up as planned. I hope you guys liked this one! Anyways, please review, and no FLAMES please. I did make that clear in the past chapters. Anyway, constructive criticism welcome, aand... thanks for your reviews, guys! Special thanks to my friends back at H&E, and Kepelus!