Training Table Blues
Disclaimer/Author's Notes: Kim Possible and all the characters of the show are owned by the Disney Company. All other characters can be blamed on the author (he, however, is not responsible for all of their actions at all times, being barely responsible for himself most of the time….).
This is a strictly not-for-profit, just-for-fun work.
You can read this without reading the background stories, but I would highly recommend (shameless plug) Black Hole Deep, version 2.0 and BE, S 1: Blue Eyes, Shining. You'll enjoy this story even more, and this story will make more sense if it's read in context.
To everyone who has read thus far and continues to read and review: thank you: your reads and reviews continue to fuel me.
A/N Forward:
Jocelyn and Wade are together on her school break: she's come into Middleton for several reasons, not the least of which is to get some serious snuggling with her hero.
Her plans to meet Wade's parents, get some more of Ron's 'Wadeshine," and meet Donna, are tempered by the event that she fears the most for Wade: the story of Stephanie Watership in chapter three of Training Table Blues: Stephanie's 'Dancing with her Demons' Blues.
Thanks in advance for reading, and please review.
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Chapter 3: Stephanie's 'Dancing with her Demons' Blues.
(Information release authorized from the following sources:
· archives and logs of Dr. A. Jocelyn Possible-Load;
· archives and logs of Dr. Wade Load;
· archives and logs from Global Justice (de-classified files made available under the authority of Dr. Elizabeth Adrianne "Betty" Director, current Executive Director/Global Justice);
· archives of City Morgue for Middleton, Co;
· private papers of Dr. Donna Jackson, registered psychiatrist on staff at Middleton General and senior staff psychiatrist for Global Justice;
· diary of Stephanie Watership, deceased)
-----
(Dr. A. Jocelyn Possible-Load)
"Are you definitely coming down next week, Joss?"
I was in my room, and Wade was back home.
I needed my 'Wadeshine.'
Five days, 22 hours until I could get my next kiss: this torture violated the Convention.
At least I could see him: I loved Internet cameras.
"Certainly, Wade."
"Good. Mom wants to spoil you, and Ron is preparing a batch of 'Wadeshine,' especially for you," and he grinned, "and Donna's ready to cook for you."
Donna. I hoped that she was holding her own, health-wise, but there was something more important to ask him.
"Wade, are you ready to talk about Stephanie?" Wade paused for a moment, and then he answered:
"I am, now, especially if my hero is with me," he replied with a smile and a hint of – fear?
-----
I rang the doorbell, and the door opened to reveal Wade's mom.
Her press photos didn't do her justice: she was pretty; no, she was a beautiful woman.
"Jocelyn!" and I got a "momma" hug: it felt so much good...
"You're here early," she commented as she swung the door open, and I pulled my wheeled backpack in behind me.
"I wanted to surprise him, and I was ahead in all my classes, and the teachers let me out of class after yesterday, so I came.
"Besides," I grinned, "I haven't hugged him in months, and I'm looking forward to my first hug," and Rachel laughed as we walked down the hall.
"Girl, you've got it bad; and no one deserves some happiness more than you, dear. Wade's on a call with Betty and Kim, but I'll let you in so you can surprise him," she added with a conspiratorial grin, and she palmed the lock, and the door swung open silently, and I could hear Wade wrapping up the call.
I left my bag just inside the door and stealthily came up behind him, and put my hands over his eyes.
"Mom?" he called out, a hint of surprise. Betty and Kim could see me on their screens, and I could see them on Wade's big screen, and they were each holding back a laugh.
"Not unless she's changed hair color, my 'berry-meister," I whispered loud enough so that the microphones would pick it up, and Betty and Kim both burst out laughing as I spun him around.
"Jocelyn!" and he jumped up and kissed me and hugged me.
All these things sent through my mind at the same time:
'Wow, I didn't know he could move that fast.
'Wow, he's lost even more weight.
'I don't care if he's lost an ounce, he feels so good in my arms.
'Why did I ever let him leave Montana?
'How long would it be before Daddy screamed, if I moved down here?
"Miss Possible!" a familiar voice came over the speakers, and I broke my fast and looked up to see Mr. Barkin show up on Kim's screen, a foreign-concept smile on his face that disappeared almost immediately. "Why aren't you in school?"
"Hello, Mr. Barkin, sir.
"My teachers excused me from classes early since I was ahead in all my subjects," I answered, and the smile returned.
"I've heard good things about your grades and your deportment, Miss Possible: keep up the good work," he added.
My turn…I hadn't gone all 'good girl', and I grinned inwardly….
"Mr. Barkin?" I asked politely.
"Yes, Miss Possible?"
"My assistant principal, Mr. Brickle, had a message for you, sir," and I started a very tiny external smile.
"He said to tell you that you still owe him that bottle of Glenfiddich. What's Glenfiddich?" and Betty did a spit-take, followed by Kim's chortle.
"That, Miss Possible, is something I'm glad to hear that you haven't encountered."
"Is it anything like Glenlevit?" I asked, and Betty and Kim did a laugh-burst, followed by Wade's.
Mr. Barkin sighed….and walked away, muttering something about PDAs and TMI in the hands of today's youth.
"Now, where were we," I asked with a hint in my voice, and Wade replied with a hug-and-kiss re-start.
"Are we going to get any work out of him, Kim?" Betty sighed.
"I think we're finished, Dr. Director," and Kim signed off with a laugh.
"Excuse me…" Betty waited for about a minute before interrupting.
"Do you need something, Dr. Director?" Wade let me go, much to my dismay, and turned back to the monitor. I thought my face was gonna break from the smile; I could see my reflection in Kim's now-silent monitor.
"I just wanted to make sure that you had all the information, Wade, and make sure that I had the right time for dinner night after tomorrow: 6:30 at Donna's house, correct?"
"That's right, Betty."
"Good. I'll let you two get back…Joss?"
"Yes, Betty?"
"How's Slim?" there was a hint of anticipation in her voice…could it be?
"He's fine, Betty; he's tied up in a Tornado bug-fix right now, but otherwise he's ok. Something to do with the bird he put up a few years back."
"Good; tell him I said hello, will you, when you get back?"
"Sure thing, Betty; it's the least I could do after you helped me cage my demons," and Wade and Betty both laughed. I was confused.
"It's all 'Possible,' Wade," Betty said matter-of-factly, and then grew an instant smile.
"It certainly is, Betty. See you later," and he cut the circuit.
"My forever love." He whispered, and he pulled me into a tight hug, tighter than he'd ever hugged me before, and he started shaking.
I pulled his head away, and there were tears.
"Fear tears, and joy tears," he said, and he hugged me again.
"I was afraid I'd never see you again, Jocelyn, and at the same time the thought of you coming down here kept me alive," he said into my shoulder, and he started me crying.
"Wade," and I buried my head into his shoulder, "that's why I came down early: I couldn't bear to be apart from you any longer," and we stood, holding each other, and crying like two babies for what seemed like a long time….
I pulled away and took his hand, and we went to his desk, and I sat in his side chair. Then I crossed my legs, and he noticed my new boots for the first time.
"Oh, man…." He whispered.
"They're new," I stated calmly, but I was excited and worried at the same time. "You like?"
"Those boots should be illegal in Montana and Colorado," he whispered with an evil grin, "so, of course, I think they're great, my love."
' Mission accomplished! I knew that my tall cognac-colored leather boots would get his attention, sooner or later,' and I grinned inside.
I stood back up and took his hand, again.
"I'm glad you like them," I replied, and I kissed him again.
I like kissing Wade.
-----
"Excuse me…might I assume that that you're Jocelyn?" a rich tenor voice came over my shoulder, and Wade and I broke apart, and I turned, and my jaw dropped about 2 feet under the floor.
I must have looked like a real idiot, but I didn't care:
OH!
MY!
GOD!
Standing just inside the doorway was a bronze Adonis!
If this was what Wade was gonna look like when he got a little older…evil thoughts ran through my mind like talented jazz musicians' melody bunnies in their fields of improvisation.
Sue me: Daddy hooked me on big band and improv jazz: I love them both.
"Dr. Ryan!" and I grabbed him and hugged him, almost knocking both of his canes out of his hands and him onto the floor.
"Yep, definitely Jocelyn Possible," he remarked, and I heard Wade laugh behind me.
"Please tell me Wade's not adopted," I begged, and Rachel laughed from behind Dr. Ryan.
"No, Jocelyn, he's not adopted," she told me as she came from behind him, and smiled a grin that only women understand.
Both men were clueless.
That was a good thing: I don't think that their minds or egos could have taken the positive shot that I'd just lobbed, and I'd have had to listen to Wade for a long time about it….
"I'm gonna need two sets of autographs before I go back, Doctors R," I finally let him go, "one for me, and one for Daddy."
"I think that that can be arranged," Dr. Ryan replied, and at least I didn't swoon and fall.
That voice could melt the Arctic, it was so H-O-T HOT!
I figured that Wade should have about 7 brothers and sisters with that voice.
-----
"Do you want to meet Donna, Joss?"
"DO I? Does Ron know how to cook trout?"
"I'll take that as a 'yes,'" he smirked, and I swatted at him but missed.
"How're we gonna get there?" his parents had left…
"We'll take the tube," as he held to door open for me to leave the house.
'Thank you, Doctor Ryan: you raised a real gentleman.'
"Middleton has a subway?"
"Not exactly," and we were about 10 feet in front of his house on the sidewalk, and he grabbed me in a hug.
I'm gonna complain about that?
"Hold on tight," he grinned, and the ground under my feet disappeared, and we fell real fast.
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!"
And we stopped in a room, and the lights came on silently to reveal an elevator in front of us.
"What….the….heck….was….that?" I tried not to hyperventilate.
"GJ's favorite toy: they're all over the city, if you know where to look, and know how they're triggered," Wade replied as he punched the button at the elevator, and the 'ding' signaled the door opening.
As we rode up, I tried to convince my legs to stop shaking: I lost….
-----
"Hello, Wade," the nurse at the front desk tittered. "I'll tell Dr. Jackson you're here."
"Does she have a patient?"
"No, but –" and Wade pulled me to the door and knocked!
"Come on in, Wade, the door's open," the voice from behind the door answered, and Wade swung the door open.
He pushed me in front of him, and I stumbled into the room.
Wade?
"Joss, this is Dr. Donna Jackson. Dr. Jackson, this is Jocelyn Possible, my fiancée," and I looked over to see a smiling woman in a wheelchair. She looked familiar.
"Jocelyn. I was in the same sorority as your mother," she came over to me and took my hand, and that's where I remembered seeing her.
"Were you in the picture of Mom's pledge class?" and she smiled real big.
"You're a flatterer, just like her: I'm older than that picture, but thank you, just the same," she replied, and then motioned for us to sit. Wade plopped onto the couch, and I followed.
"So, what brings you two here?"
"I wanted you to meet Joss before tomorrow night, and I need to know what's planned." Something's wrong with Wade; he's not normally this brusque.
"Well, we're starting with a green salad with light, mango vinaigrette, then -"
"DONNA!"
"You wanted to know everything, Wade, so you'll get everything." Donna sounded upbeat, but there was sadness trying to hide underneath, and she was working to hide her emotions.
"Everything?"
"Everything, Wade. All of the things you weren't told when it happened and haven't been able to access when you tried hacking into my private files and those at GJ."
'Wade!'
"All right," he slumped back on the couch.
"Who don't you want there, Wade?"
"Who did you invite, Donna?"
"Your parents.
"Kim's parents.
"Kim.
"Ron.
"You, of course," and she smiled at that, and Wade finally smiled, but it disappeared real fast.
"Jocelyn.
"And me. Anyone else?"
"Betty."
"Betty?"
"If the files are sealed, she has to be there to answer the most important question:
"Why are the GJ files sealed on a person who has no connection with GJ?"
"Because she was in the incoming GJ recruiting class, Wade, that's why; a class just like the one that Rebecca Jane's in, now," Donna answered, and Wade just glared, then slumped back, then stood up.
"Joss, I have to go. You can stay; in fact, you probably should stay." and he walked out the door and slammed it.
I looked at the door, then back at Donna. She looked real sad, now.
"Why?"
"Because he was nine, and a nine-year-old shouldn't hear why his friend killed herself, Jocelyn."
I just sat there.
'Wade needs me, now
'He was taking it bad; this, to him, was as bad as dealing with Momma's death was for me, but I didn't know why.
"Has anyone told him, Donna?"
"No, Jocelyn. He'll hear the whole story tomorrow night, and I won't tell you any more," and she crossed her arms.
Then, she surprised me:
Donna uncrossed her arms and pushed herself on her wheelchair arms and stood up!
"Joss," and she held her arms out, and I stood slowly and walked over to her hug. She wrapped her arms around me, and I just stood there, not responding.
"I didn't have a chance," she said as she released me, "to tell him that the research that he's been doing has yielded some surprising drug combinations, and this is the result.
"I can stand for short periods, but I'm still weak.
"My doctor has no idea why, but the cancer appears to be in remission," and she burst into tears and grabbed me, again. This time, I returned her hug.
Not knowing is the battle that none of us want to fight….
-----
"I'm sorry, Jocelyn," Donna backed away from me and fell gently back into her wheelchair, picking up her legs and placing them on the footrests on the chair.
"'No big, Dr. Jackson,'" and she chuckled as I sat back on the couch.
"So, fiancée, huh?" she smiled.
"No marriage until I get out of college, so Daddy's ok with that," I answered, and I crossed my legs.
"Good.
"Wade's very lucky to have found you, Jocelyn."
"I'm the lucky one, Dr. Jackson. And, it's Joss."
"Only if it's Donna."
"OK, Donna," and she smiled.
"Donna, how bad is the pain?" and she grimaced.
"On a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being the least amount of pain, it's typically a 5, but that's down from an average of 8.
"Joss, it's not about me. How are you doing, now?"
"Much better, Donna, since I have my hero.
"He came to help me 'a little bit,' and we're now started providing drug interdiction intelligence information for the Montana AG and hosting the 'Team Possible' site, so he now doesn't have to pay for it out of his own pocket," and I re-crossed my legs. Donna looked surprised, but I couldn't tell what surprised her.
"He stayed with me after I yelled at him; that was the trigger that caused Daddy and Betty to decide that it was time. He could have left then but he chose to stay. He sat thru the whole thing, Donna, thru things that he didn't have to hear, and it just confirmed what I suspected:
"He was my dream come true, and had been ever since he climbed out of that jet."
"Have you sat down and talked to Rachel, his mom?"
"No, not yet. After what just happened, that's where I'm going next," and I shuddered at the idea of the GJ tube…then I realized I had a problem.
"Snake muffins, I can't get back," I mumbled, and Donna chuckled at my comment.
"I'll take you back, Joss. I need to get out of the office, and I don't have any appointments until this afternoon."
So much for the tube.
-----
Rachel met me at the door, a worried look on her face.
"Jocelyn, what happened?"
"Can we talk, Rachel?"
"Certainly," and she let me into the house and back to her studio office, and I was in shock:
She had three statues that she had in various stages of completion in the room, and there were several paintings along the walls and in different stages of completion.
She pointed to the couch opposite her gallery wall, and I sat, tucking my feet underneath me. She sat, doing the same. I giggled.
"What?"
"Momma used to do that," and she stopped smiling.
"I'm sorry, Jocelyn," she looked sad, and she un-tucked her feet.
"No, don't, please," and she tentatively re-tucked, and her face was in neutral.
"I need some 'momma advice,'" and she smiled.
"About boys," I continued, and she grinned even bigger.
"Wade left Donna's office when she told him that Stephanie was in the GJ training program, Rachel," I sniffled a bit.
"Rachel, did Wade tell you about us, about what we went through?"
"He told us some of it, Joss, but not all," and I knew she had to know all.
"Do you really want to know, Rachel? It's not pretty," and she nodded, so I started to tell her, but she stopped me, and she reached for the phone and hit a button.
"Ryan?
"Can you come to my study?
"Yes, love." And she replaced the phone.
"His dad deserves to hear this," and the door opened and Adonis walked in.
"Hello, Jocelyn," and at least I didn't drool. He pulled a chair up to the couch, and I stood up.
"Experience" and I motioned for him to sit next to his wife. He nodded, and sat down on the couch, and I took the chair.
I told the highlights; I was getting good at summarizing the events, now, but it still hurt. I didn't cry, but I had a couple of sniffles.
Both Rachel and Ryan had tears when I finished, and then I delivered the punch line:
"Your son stayed with me throughout all of this. He never left my side during the two times I told this, and, when I told him he was my hero for staying with me, he told me that I was his hero for making it thru everything," and that pushed me over the edge and I lost it, then, and I started crying.
I had four arms around me, almost immediately.
Rachel smelled like Momma.
Ryan smelled like Daddy.
I knew that my hero had the right family.
I pulled back.
"Wade took me out to our spot on the ranch for lunch, and he gave me roses, Rachel!" I gushed, and Ryan smiled, and Rachel grinned, "That's the time that he told me that he saw something in me that reminded him of Stephanie before she died, and that's why he came to Montana: he wanted to make sure that nothing happened to me."
"Jocelyn," Ryan started, and I interrupted him.
"Rachel, how do you deal with this man?" I grinned, and she looked confused.
"Don't tell me you haven't noticed he's gorgeous, Rachel. How can you do anything but stare at him when he starts to talk, or even when he comes into the room?" and Rachel laughed.
"Intense…concentration…, Joss, and thank you: he swept me off my feet when we met, and he's treated me like a goddess our entire married life," she replied simply, and Ryan leaned over and kissed her passionately.
"Get a room, you two!" and they both laughed.
"Jocelyn, thank you for the compliment, but I'm not that good-looking: I think it's you and my wife that have selective filtering," Ryan replied, and Rachel snorted.
"I have expert third-party verification, my love," Rachel answered back, "so, once again, you're incorrect."
"But your son is 'to die for,' Ryan: That's why I said 'yes' when he asked me, and I'm counting down the days until I can become Mrs. Wade Load," I added dreamily, and Rachel chuckled.
"You've definitely got it bad, Joss."
"That's why I'm worried about my hero, Rachel. Did he come back here?"
"He did," she replied, "he slammed the doors coming into the house, and he's in his room, with music going ever since he went in. That's how I knew something was wrong: he's playing the same music that he played after Stephanie was gone.
"You knew about his agoraphobia?"
"Not until after he was there, and I only heard about it from Ron at a party for Wade that Kim arranged." and Ryan looked surprised.
"We'll save that for much later, Jocelyn," Rachel continued.
"He only became like that after her death, dear. He rarely came out of his room; that is, until after he saw you at your ranch," and Rachel started to mist up.
"He was so scared of leaving, but he was so scared for you, Jocelyn, that he packed up and went to Montana," and she broke down in huge sobs, and Ryan held her.
"I'm sorry," I choked out, and she looked at me angrily.
"Don't ever say that, Joss. Don't ever let me hear you say that. You have nothing to be sorry for."
Momma voice.
"You gave me my Wade back, Joss; I should be thanking you, and it looks like you've brought him forward far and fast enough that he's now ready to face the parent of his agoraphobia.
"Thank you, Joss, for giving me back my son," and she reached out and pulled me from the chair and hugged me.
Momma smell.
"Thank you for giving me a chance to see Wade, again, you two," I smiled as I was released.
"I made Wade a promise before he left: we'd make it work. I told him that I wouldn't leave him, and I won't. No matter what demons he's facing, I'm there, with him, forever," I said confidently, and Ryan smiled.
"You're amazing, Jocelyn."
"Joss."
"You're amazing, Joss," and he kissed my cheek.
"Hey! 'No kissie from my husband!'" and Rachel channeled Shego, and broke out laughing.
"What's that picture in the corner?" I pointed at a canvas covered with a drop cloth.
"A surprise," Rachel grinned, "and, no, you can't see it," and I pouted.
"Snake muffins.
"I'd better go and see about my BFBF," I moved towards the door, and Rachel surprised me.
"You speak 'Mon'! She's NTBB on her MSS," she said with a smile, and Ryan looked totally confused.
"And Wade's TDF, Rachel," and I headed out the door, then stopped and turned back to them
'Thank you; I think I'm ready for tomorrow night, now," I said, and then I headed for Wade's room.
-----
(Dr. Wade Load)
I had to leave Joss there; I had to get back home and collapse in private, in my room, and start preparing for my nightmare.
She came back later, while I was sitting and listening to music for an hour before she returned.
She just came in, sat with me, and we didn't say a thing: she just held my hand.
She was telling me, by her being there, that it was my time, my turn, now, and she would be there for me.
That's all I needed to know.
We sat thru three more hours of music, her just holding my hand, not saying anything, but I glanced at her once and saw a tear chasing its twin down her cheek.
Before she left the room, she kissed my cheek, and whispered:
"It's my turn, now, hero, to be there for you." And she left to go to bed in the spare room.
-----
Lucky for me, the next day was busy.
I had to get Kim and Ron out and back on a mission to the East Coast; just a hurricane, but the havoc it wreaked on flights back was bad.
Joss, my parents, and I left the house a little after 6 and arrived at Donna's house at 6:25.
When I got in the car, Joss was already in, and she was grinning, and she pointed down.
She was wearing her new tall boots.
"A lil' sump'in' for you, my love," she whispered, and I heard a giggle come from the front of the car.
So much for my concentration.
I looked up, and she was smirking.
Then she scooted over and buckled herself in the middle, and took my hand.
Head in the game, Wade.
-----
When we got there (trust me, I have NO idea when that was: I had Joss'-boot-amnesia, and her skirt was glorious, and her blouse was glorious, and she was glorious…), I got out, opened the door for Mom while Dad opened the door for Joss.
He and I swapped before he rang the doorbell.
I knew I owed Donna an apology, but I couldn't do it, not right now.
'After tonight, if she was still speaking to me.
'If anyone was still speaking to me, that is…'
-----
Donna prepared an exquisite dinner, and Ron brought the flan and 'Wadeshine,' so Donna and my parents and Kim's parents got to hear that story: Mrs. Dr. P., Betty, Donna, and Mom and Dad laughed through most of it, and Mr. Dr. P. finally relaxed and actually laughed after he realized that there was nothing that Slim hadn't already approved of.
We all adjourned back to Donna's home office at the back of the house; she tried to keep has family away from as much of her work as possible. We ended up in a large room that, I assumed, she used for group therapy sessions.
It was time.
I wasn't ready.
I looked at Joss, and she smiled and squeezed my hand, saying without a word 'We can and will get through this.'
I kissed her, took a deep breath, squeezed her hand back, and now I was ready for my nightmare to begin.
"I'm ready, Donna: let's start."
-----
Donna started with the first load of dynamite, and tossed a live grenade on top to make sure it had my attention.
"Wade, I have Stephanie's diary. I received it in the mail two days after her funeral; she had mailed it to me the evening of her death. There are some sections in here that she wanted me to read to you when you were older. At this time, I'm following her last requests from her will that has been duly probated by the County Magistrate."
I almost squeezed Joss' hand in two, and I saw Mom reach over and touch Dad's hand, and they grabbed each other's hands.
"Jim and Anne, you know who Stephanie Watership was; Kim and Ron, Stephanie Watership, as we discussed earlier, was a PhD candidate at MIT who committed suicide, and Wade had to identify the body at the morgue," and Kim grabbed Ron's hand.
(Diary of Stephanie Watership (deceased))
September 3, 2002
Diary: this has been the worst day in a long time, and it holds promise to be the best, at the same time.
Bad news: I've got Dr. "Hands" again for another class.
He thinks that, because I look like his idea of a pixie 'Dream Barbie' with big breasts and shapely, long legs (well, that's what some of my male friends have told me, and I work out, but I still think they're ugly), he can ogle me all year long; well, he's got another think coming this year: baggy sweaters, even in the heat, even if I have to borrow money from people to buy them.
I had very little cash money; my foster parents won't spend a dime of the money that they get for 'taking care of me' on anything except drugs and alcohol for themselves and food for the other, younger, foster kids, so forget money for me. I made my spending money tutoring, when I could do it.
God, I get tired of only having resale clothes and never having anything new, but after awhile you know where to look, and no one's the wiser, most of the time….
Good news: I think I've found a friend who just might understand what it's like to be a genius. Scratch that: I know he will understand, but it may take awhile; he's a little younger…..
I came to the lecture section early to get a seat in the back to try to avoid Hands' eyes, and there was this little kid talking to his mom.
Please don't let this class turn into a babysitting service like my last class did: crying babies, and running seven-year-olds with toys and boy band songs blaring from their mePods…..
He looked about seven or eight, and he was handing his mom some papers and pointing to some things on them.
Great: little Johnny made an 83 on his spelling test.
He was a skinny little African-American kid, but he was talking to a Hispanic woman.
Anything's possible…and then he picked up this backpack that was almost as big as him and came up the stairs to sit, down the row from me!
He opened the backpack and pulled out the books for the session.
Very interesting, I thought in my favorite fake German accent, and I giggled.
He looked me when he heard my giggle, and smiled.
Nice smile.
Geez, Steph, has it been that long since the last date? Well, yes it has, but that's not important….
He got called on twice by 'Hands', and he nailed the responses both times.
Who is this kid named Wade Load? I caught his name when 'Hands' called on him the first time.
After class, I stayed behind (to avoid 'Hands') and walked over to him.
"Hi;" I said, and stuck my hand out.
"Stephanie Watership."
"Like the book?"
'He'd heard of 'Watership Down?'
"I read it when I was four: excellent read, good characterization, not stodgy at all.
"Wade Load," and he stuck out his tiny hand, and I shook it.
"I thought –"
"That I was some kid here with his mom: been there, used to it."
"Who was that that you talking to, before class?"
"Oh, that was Jessica Martinez-Sloan; she's married; she needed some help with her website, and I was giving her the instruction to get into the one I wrote for her," and he looked pleased. "I'm making good money for a nine-year-old; I just hate having to file the 1040 long form and the schedule C: IRS forms are such a drag," and I laughed and then thought: WEB SITE! Just what I needed: help for mine….
"You're younger than the rest of these geezers, Stephanie Watership," Wade announced, "and you're much prettier than most of them, too. I really like your red hair: it's flippy, but not too flippy."
"You think so?" and I unconsciously flipped my hair. Now I was fishing for compliments from a nine-year-old! Geez, Steph, you're getting desperate.
"Of course, you're prettier: you have something topside, too, and most of the women in here would kill for your top," he stated matter-of-factly, and I blushed.
He's nine, and he's checking out my breasts?
I couldn't help it: my biological mom must have been a stripper or something for me to end up, at 16, with a D-cup.
At least, she could have been a tall stripper: I hated being so short.
It helped now; Wade wasn't scared of me: maybe because I was his height; well a little taller…..
"Hey, I need some help with my website; you available?" and he reached into his backpack, pulled out something, and handed it to me.
wow.
A multi-colored brochure: four pages, slick paper, professional-quality printing, tight copy, complete with price estimates.
"Where'd you get these?"
"I made them. I needed some marketing collateral, and I didn't have the money at the time," and he shrugged.
"You wanna come over to my house? We can talk about what you need for your web site."
"Sure, Wade," and I smiled.
My God, Stephanie: robbing the cradle?
"Dad should be outside, waiting; he had a class that should have ended 15 minutes ago."
"Your dad's a student here?" Brains in the family?
"No, he's the head of the Political Science department." Brains in the family!
"Your dad is Ryan Load?"
"Uh-huh," and he held the door open for me.
"Daddy told me to always hold the door for a lady," he explained as we went to his dad's car.
I like this kid. He's sharp, and he has better manners than any of my old boyfriends had. If he were a few years older-
BAD STEPH!
Your mind out of the gutter, you must remove.
Sue me, I liked the movie.
"So, Stephanie, are you a senior or first-year graduate student?"
"I'm a candidate for my second PhD," I replied smugly.
"I'm working on my first," he answered. "There's Dad's car," he pointed.
He's a PhD candidate? This is getting very interesting….
-----
(Dr. Wade Load)
I smiled: I remembered that like it happened yesterday.
"Red hair, huh, Wade?" Kim was grinning, and Joss chuckled as Kim flipped her hair. "Flippy enough for you?" and Ron laughed with me.
"You want me to flip it, Kim?" I grinned evilly.
"WADE!"
"Remember BonBon at the swimming hole?" Joss blurted out. "I thought she was gonna freak when a pair of redheads came out in those white swimsuits."
"KIMMIE-CUB!" and Mr. Dr P. looked seriously miffed, and Kim tried to climb into the couch cushions.
Kim must have 'forgotten' to tell Mr. Dr P. about her swimsuit.
Then, he surprised me: he laughed a good belly-level laugh.
"At least, yours had more material than the one that your mother wore when she was 21," and Mrs. Dr. P blushed a nice bright red, and Rufus popped up from Ron's shirt pocket and gave her a tiny thumb's up; that made her blush even more. "You still look wonderful in it, Anne," and he kissed his surprised wife.
Mrs. Dr. P. in a white swimsuit, smaller than Kim's…
BAD WADE!
But, leave it to Ron…
"Wade! You liked the ladies 'big,' huh?" and it was my turn to get embarrassed while everyone laughed.
"Well, that explains that," Betty mused, and realized that she had spoken far louder than she intended when the laughter went up three notches, and she blushed even more.
But, leave it to Mom….
"Anne, you know how it is with boys: they won't leave for a bottle unless you threaten them or pry them off of you. I can't imagine how you survived two at the same time with Jim and Tim, but Wade wouldn't stop until he was almost 10 months, and he was almost at the stage of nursing and reading at the same time," and I looked for a GJ portal to leave while everyone laughed, and Mrs. Dr. P smiled, nodded, and blushed even more.
Mr. Dr. P was smiling, but I had no idea why….
-----
Donna dropped the next load of dynamite.
"Stephanie left specific instructions for me, Wade. There are some parts of her diary that she didn't want read to you, but I can assure you that they're not bad things.
She left me notes on what to read next, and that's this section."
-----
(Diary of Stephanie Watership (deceased))
October 28, 2002
Diary: this looks like it's gonna be a good fall session, class-wise, at least.
My family life, outside of home, was wonderful.
Wade's parents were wonderful to me, treating me like a daughter.
Wade was the younger brother I'd always wanted, but I secretly wished that either he were older or I were younger…
BAD STEPH! I grinned.
'Real' family: sucked, big time….
Got the results to my mid-terms on Friday: mid-90s on all my tests, and A's on all of my essays.
Wade made a 99; he's the real thing.
He is driving Hands to distraction with his insightful questions, and other members of the class are secretly cheering for him when he goes after Hands when he misquotes the texts.
YEAH!!!!!
Wade's parents were thrilled when I told them, and they took me out to dinner to celebrate.
I hadn't had a hot meal in a restaurant in years.
Then, Mr. Dr. Load stood, offered me his hand, and led me onto the dance floor, and we Danced!
He was surprised that I knew ballroom, and I loved being held by such a gorgeous man, even if he didn't dance as good as me.
So much for stereotypes.
I looked over at Mrs. Load and Wade, and they were beaming.
Wade was so damn lucky.
I wanted this life.
I wished I had his parents, his family, him as a little brother.
I managed not to cry until after I left their house that night.
I went to the park to sleep, and I cried myself to sleep and didn't get up until the dawn woke me.
I went back 'home' on Sunday; I'd been staying with different friends this semester, trying to figure out what I was going to do about my 'home life.'
'Mother' and 'Father' were there, and so was 'Uncle James', at the kitchen table, with two lines of cocaine on the kitchen table, and the baby crying in their bedroom. The other kids were dead silent; they'd been taught, as had I.
I didn't trust 'Uncle James;' I'd been told that he was Father's brother, but I didn't believe it; something didn't feel right about him….
'Father' poured a cola into 'my glass' from the bottle in the fridge; for some reason, he always did that whenever I came home. His only attempt at being polite, so I didn't reject it….
"Where you been, girl?"
"Staying with friends, 'Father,'" he wanted me to call him 'Father,' and he'd beaten that into me when I was younger. I'd learned.
"I wanted to save you money on food for me," I added politely, and he snorted.
"Good thing, girl," he answered, then pointed to the line on the table,
'No, thank you, 'Father,' I just wanted to give you a report on my grades."
"Well?"
"Mid-90s on all my tests, and A's on my essays."
SLAP!
"Why no perfect scores?" he snarled at me, and I felt my cheek burn, and I wanted to cry, but I knew the consequences of that…..
"I'm sorry, 'Father,'" I bowed my head. "I'm ready to receive my punishment," I added demurely, like I'd been taught, and I bent over the kitchen table like a good girl.
WHACK! No sound, Stephanie, or there'll be more.
WHACK! No sound, Stephanie.
WHACK! No sound.
WHACK! No
WHACK!
WHACK!
WHACK!
WHACK!
"I'm sorry, 'Father,'" I stood back up and sniffed my tears back inside. "I will do better on my finals," I promised.
"Good thing," he replied, putting away the strap and staring back at his cocaine on the table. "Grades go down, and the money stops, and we wouldn't want that to happen, would we?" and he smiled.
"No, 'Father.'
"May I go, now?"
"Git, girl, and don't come back without a six-pack and cash," he stared at his drugs on the table.
"Thank you, 'Father,'" I acknowledged him, and I walked calmly out of the house and gently closed the door.
I didn't do anything until I was six blocks away from the house, out of earshot of the house, in the park….
Then and only then did I fall to my knees and cry for the children still in that house, and I prayed, again.
'God, please protect them. I don't care about me, God, but please, God, watch over them and take care of them. They're so little, and they haven't done anything wrong…' and I fell on my side and curled up in a ball and cried, still hurting….
-----
(Dr. Wade Load)
"She never told me," I whispered, breaking the silence in the room.
"She came over here after that, and I offered her a seat, and she wouldn't sit down, and I wondered why, and she wouldn't tell me, and that's what happened, and she wouldn't tell me.
"Stephanie, why didn't you tell me?" I yelled up at her in heaven, and I looked at Joss, and tears were attacking her cheeks.
"Wade, you were nine," Betty answered. "She cared about you and didn't want to pull you into the mess that she had to deal with." I looked at Betty and was about to say something, but her face was wet, as well.
I looked over at Mom and Dad; Dad was still holding her hand, and Mom's face was wet.
"Son, I'm sorry," she said, softly, and I stared at her, confused.
"I didn't see the signs, and I should have seen them," and she shook her head like she was trying to throw thoughts out of her head.
"Mom, please," and I wiped my face. "You didn't have the strap, you didn't hurt her, you and Dad did everything for her that you could for her," and the tears were winning in my eyes.
"Wade's right, Rachel," and I looked at Joss in surprise. "You helped her enough to keep her alive and filled with hope; that's all you could have done," and she smiled. "It must run in the family," and she held up my hand.
"Mom, Dad," I looked over, and Kim had gotten up and walked over to her parents and knelt down in front of them.
"Thank you for my life," she said softly and simply, and she dropped her head into her mom's lap as she broke down into huge sobs, and Mrs. Dr. P. held her head and cried with her.
I had never seen that look on Mr. Dr. P.'s face, and I never, ever, wanted to see that look, again:
This was worse than any 'black hole probe' look that he'd ever given Ron: this was anger, fear, sadness, and the tears fell from his face as he reached over to touch his daughter, but drew his hand back quickly as if it would hurt Kim if he touched her.
He was afraid to touch his own daughter, his little girl, and the sadness grew on his face, and I wanted to hurt Stephanie's father for what he was now doing to the people I loved..
RON!
Ron was alone on the couch, and he was sitting calmly, but his eyes flashed a bit of anger that went away when he looked at me. He smiled, and I could see that his freckles were wet, as well.
Rufus came out, pulled a handkerchief from Ron's pocket, and handed it to him, them pulled a tiny one out and blew his own little nose.
"Thanks, little buddy," Ron said quietly, and wiped his face.
I looked at Donna: why she wasn't in pieces, I had no idea.
I was afraid I was about to find out.
-----
Donna lit the fuse on the final load of dynamite.
"There's one last piece to read from Stephanie's diary, Wade."
She looked so sad, so helpless, and so hopeless.
Now, I was really scared.
-----
(Diary of Stephanie Watership (deceased))
February 13, 2003
Diary: this is gonna be a tough thing to write, but that shouldn't matter.
Donna, when you read this: I summarized the last few months so you'd not have to plow thru all of my ramblings. I hope it makes it easier for everyone who hears this.
This all started when I went back to my 'house' on November 4th. 'Father' had left a note at my college mailbox and asked me to come home and sign some papers for my spring financial aid on Friday night at 8:30.
I knocked precisely at 8:30 and opened the door and went in.
'Father' and 'Uncle James' were sitting at the table with a stack of papers.
'Father' poured a cola into 'my glass' from the bottle in the fridge, just like always. I drank it, and 'Uncle James' smiled.
"Did you bring the six-pack?"
"Yes, 'Father,' and I held up the beer. "I made sure that it was your favorite, and that it was already chilled, 'Father,' just the way you like it," and I felt dizzy for a moment, but it passed, then it hit stronger, and I fell into a seat at the table.
"What's wrong with you?" 'Uncle James' asked, and he had a strange look on his face.
"I don't know," and the last thing that I remember before I passed out was falling from the chair and 'Uncle James' saying "Now, let's see if she's still a –" and I lost consciousness.
-----
"Can you hear me?"
Someone was talking…
"Dear, are you awake?" and I cracked upon an eye, and the bright lights hurt my eyes.
"Mmmmm," and I realized that there was something in my throat.
"You're in the ER, dear, and there's a tube down your throat to help you breathe. I'm about to pull it out, but I need your help. You need to blow real hard, on three; can you do that?
I nodded, and opened one eye fully.
The guy talking to me was smiling, and his hand was at my face.
"One;
"Two;
"Three;
"BLOW!" and I blew real hard, and it came out, and my throat hurt.
"Good," and he placed an ice chip in my lips, and I sucked it in. My throat felt better almost immediately, but it still hurt.
"There's someone who needs to talk to you," he said, and a Middleton policeman came into view. I forced my other eye to open, and in halfway listened to me.
"Can you tell me your name, miss?" and he pulled out a pad and pen.
"Stephanie….Watership…." that raspy sound was my voice? Saying my name took almost all my energy.
"Well, Miss Watership, can we call your parents?"
"Parents….dead…." that got his attention.
"What…happened…to…me?"
"You were found in the middle of the High School football field, unconscious. Did you have a fight with your boyfriend?"
"No….boyfriend….why?"
"We found blood on your legs and pants, and the doctor found se-" and he didn't have a chance to finish as I yelled, louder than I'd ever yelled before.
I don't know how I got that out of my throat, out of my body, but I could feel the difference.
Something had been taken away from me; something precious to me.
"Call…Dr…..Ryan….Load….friend…" and I passed out, again.
-----
Wade's parents were wonderful to me.
They came and sat with me, I was told after I woke up, for hours.
They didn't bring Wade; I was really glad that they hadn't.
He didn't need to see this.
He didn't deserve this.
No nine-year-old deserved this.
They took me home after I was released, and they moved me into their spare bedroom, down the hall from Wade.
He would sneak in at night and read to me while I was recovering; there was something funny and yet kinda strange, having a nine-year-old read John Milton and John Kenneth Galbraith to you. He liked reading to me.
My professors passed my work to Dr. Ryan and Wade, and I was able to take my finals late, after I recovered, in early January. All A's.
The Loads insisted that I move in with them thru all of this, and they were the parents beyond my wildest dreams.
I got Christmas presents for the first time since I had left the home, and I had to explain to Mrs. Load why I had run out of the room, crying, after they put the third box in front of me, and she cried with me for my lost childhood.
The doctors had told her and Mr. Load what had happened to me, and she let me tell her at my own speed, in my own time, and she cried with me and hugged me.
I went to my priest and told him what happened, and asked him to ask God to give me strength to forgive those who had hurt me.
I got real sick in the mornings in late January for four consecutive mornings, and I went and bought one of those kits.
I never hated the plus sign any more than the sight of it on that piece of plastic. Happy Early Valentine's Day, Stephanie: it's a baby.
Now, I was sure who and what they'd done to me, and I couldn't let them do that to another child.
I told my foster mom, and she called me a slut and slapped me. I slapped her back, and I left there and never went back.
My priest said that what I asked him about was a sin, and I asked if what had been done to me was a sin, and I ran out of the confessional.
I went to the park and cried in the rain.
Life wasn't fair.
I'd gotten a letter in my campus mailbox, before all of this started, from Global Justice: I'd been accepted into their training program.
Now, this….
They'd never take me, now.
There was nothing left for me to do.
I spent the past three days as if nothing was wrong, but I made sure that I was real nice to the Doctors Load and Wade.
Wade.
Wade!
How could I do this to my 'little brother?'
I spent a lot of time thinking about him, and I wrote him three letters, leaving them with a lawyer that I hired, along with sealed instructions if something should happen to me. I also wrote my will, had it notarized, and left it with the same lawyer.
I had seen Dr. Donna Jackson for several sessions for my interviews to get accepted by Global Justice; I got series of envelopes ready to mail my diary to her through several drops that I'd created; friends in several towns that would re-mail for me, no questions asked.
I took Wade out for a soda this afternoon, and we laughed and talked and I lied to him, telling him that I was going to study in the library tonight and not to wait up for my 'bedtime story' of John Milton. He laughed as he got in the car, and I wanted to hug him goodbye, but he'd know something was wrong if I did that.
I'm going to go to the library, now: I just had dinner, and I spent the last of my money.
I wasn't going to need it anymore, anyway.
Wade, I'm sorry; I'm sure gonna miss ya. No more jokes, anymore. No more JKG. I love you, little brother.
Mr. and Mrs. Load: thank you for everything.
I love you all.
I love you.
I'm sorry.
Goodbye.
-----
(Dr. A. Jocelyn Possible-Load)
"The coroners' report confirmed that Stephanie was pregnant." Donna said calmly.
"I took the call, and I took the GJ tube to the morgue" Wade's voice surprised me.
"All that they would say was that someone was needed to identify someone, and they wouldn't say who had died," Wade was speaking very softly now, and it was like he couldn't control himself in speaking, but his words were laser-precise and pierced the sounds in the room.
"I got there, and they wouldn't let me in, not until Mom and Dad got there.
"When they got there, the coroners told them that the note left the body said that Rachel and Wade and Ryan Load would confirm identity; the person had no identification on them, just a suicide note.
"I had to convince Mom and Dad that I was big enough to go in, but they still wanted to go in first, so they overruled me.
"Mom went in first, and she came back out after a few minutes; she looked so sad…..
"'Wade,' she said. 'It's Stephanie,' and she knelt down in front of me.
"'She's dead, son. I'm so sorry.'
"I pushed past her and ran into the room, and there she was, lying on a cold, steel table, only her beautiful face and hair were uncovered.
"I'd never seen a real dead person before.
"I stood and looked at her, and then I went over to her and brushed a hair from her face. She was cold, but her hair stayed when I moved it.
"Her blue-green eyes looked so lifeless, so hopeless. I had always loved her cute nose; now, it wouldn't move anymore.
"No more Stephanie smiles.
"No more Stephanie hugs.
"I loved her hugs.
"She looked calm and at peace, and she'd never looked like that before.
"'Goodbye, Stephanie. Goodbye, Big Sis,' I whispered to her, and I walked out calmly.
"I looked at the coroner: 'Her name is Stephanie Watership; please take good care of her,' and Mom started crying, but I couldn't cry:
"I had to take care of Stephanie.
"I played Stephanie's favorite music at the funeral home after they had dressed her and readied her for burial: music written by the last Queen of Hawaii and music from the Wyndham Hills label.
"I sat with her for hours, and I listened to her music, and I told her what my dreams were, and I told her that I was going to miss her, and I told her that she was my best friend.
"Her foster family didn't even show up at her funeral; there were only 15 people there, mostly from our class. 'Hands' didn't even show up.
"We buried her, and I got a letter from her a week later: she told me to be strong for her, and she asked me to mention her when I got my PhD: she knew I would do in because she had faith in me, and she apologized to me for leaving her, and she told me that she loved me like the little brother that she'd always wanted."
Wade was silent, then he turned and looked at me, and tears were streaming down his face.
Just like mine.
"I never cried for her, Joss, I couldn't, because I was so mad at her for leaving me, but I got my first PhD, and I held it up and yelled 'This is for Stephanie!' and got a standing ovation, and I didn't deserve it.
"I've never cried for Stephanie, Joss, because she left me, and she couldn't tell me why, and I failed her, Joss!" and he fell into me with heaving sobs.
He was crying for Stephanie, and he had four years to let out.
I had time; besides, I was too busy sobbing, as well.
I looked over at Ron: Ron was still alone on the couch, and he glowed an intense blue, and the anger that flashed in his eyes scared me, but then he looked at me, and he looked so sad, and then some of his anger seemed to go away, and the intensity of his glow reduced to a medium blue.
Ryan and Rachel were holding each other, and Rachel was sobbing quietly into Ryan's shoulder. Ryan's tears had wet his face, but he was too busy taking care of his wife to care.
Uncle Jim and Aunt Anne were holding Kim; she had gotten off the floor sometimes, and she was sitting between them, crying inconsolably with Aunt Anne.
Uncle Jim scared me.
He looked like he was going to kill someone.
He had the same look that Ron had, and I was real scared.
"Stephanie had told us about Wade and his computer skills during her interviews, and I had started to investigate him as a possible future agent," Betty was calm, but her face was wet. Wade was looking at her, now, but I still had his hand, and he was squeezing mine.
"She was going to be the lead agent working with a young lady who had come to our attention from our sources, and we had found her babysitting website: crude, but a start, nonetheless.
"I called Rachel and Ryan and talked to them; they agreed that it would be a good idea for Wade to start to work with her, hoping that it would pull him out of his self-imposed lockdown, but by now he was showing full-blown agoraphobia, so he could only work from his room."
I looked at Betty, then at Wade, and I understood why he's blown up at Kim at the ranch.
I looked over at Kim; she'd raised her head, and I hoped that she'd come to the same conclusion that I had.
She stood up and walked over to us, then knelt down in front of us.
"Wade," she whispered, and he raised his tear-streaked face.
"Wade, I had no idea.
"I said it before, and I'll say it again: you are my hero, Wade, and I'll understand if you never want to work with me, again," and she started to cry, again.
She still didn't get it.
Wade looked at her like she had eight heads, and none of them had a clue..
"Kim," and she looked up.
Deja-vu, all over again.
"Kim, why would I never want to work with you, again? Did you hit your head, or do we need to check you for more moodulator chips?" and both Kim and Wade grinned.
"After what you're heard, Kim, I'm surprised that you'd want to work with me, knowing where my 'berry fetish, as my fiancée so politely put it, started.
"But, Kim, you still don't get it," and he started to fidget.
"I was scared of you using my untested equipment, but my worst nightmare is the day when you decide that you're going to stop saving the world.
"I'm not worried about the world; I'm a lot more selfish than that," and I could see the tear starting to form again in his right eye.
"You'll stop, Kim, and you'll leave me, just like Stephanie did, Kim, and I don't think that I could take that happening, again…." His voice trailed off, and then his eyes…
"I don't want to lose another big sister!" he whisper-shouted, and then he buried his head in his hands and heaved sobs. I put my arms on his back, and he sobbed even harder.
I finally understood:
He had loved Stephanie, and he lost her.
He loved Kim, and he couldn't bear the thought of her leaving him and going off to live her life.
He loved me, and he was scared he was going to lose me.
He loved me so much that he put all of his fears aside and came to Montana and stayed with me and worked his cute lil' hiney off, and he gave me Roses!
God, I don't know what I did to deserve him, but Thank You.
I didn't deserve him.
Kim's brain had finally started processing, again; for a redhead, sometimes she could be pretty dense.
Joss, you, too can be pretty dense, sometimes:
You do deserve happiness:
You do deserve Wade, and Wade deserves you.
"Wade," and Kim took his head in her hands and lifted his face to her face.
"I'm not Stephanie; I don't even play her on television," and he let a small grin escape from his so-sad face, "but I'm never going to leave you.
"You're stuck with me until you and Joss get so busy that you dump me," she said, then sniffed back a tear.
"I won't like it, but I'll understand."
"You've been a better little brother than the Tweebs," and her dad's response:
"KIMMIE-CUB!" and then Uncle Jim grinned.
"Well," Kim continued like nothing had happened, "except for that diary-hacking thing," and then she smirked and whispered, "and that battlesuit fitting," and Wade grinned broadly, and Kim's voice went back to her regular tone, "but 'that's not important,'" and they fell into a hug.
"That will never happen, Kim. I'll never leave you," she had broken thru the barrier, and he smiled as he pulled back.
Kim brushed his lips, and then they fell back into another hug.
"I love you, little brother," Kim said into his shoulder, and Wade responded,
"I love you too, big sis."
I wanted to yell 'NO KISSIE MY BF!' but I sucked it back in. I looked over at Ron, and his blue glow was gone, and he was smiling, again.
Uncle Jim was smiling and wiping his face with his handkerchief, then dabbing at Aunt Anne's face, then he started to kiss her tears away.
Betty was finally sitting relaxed, for the first time this evening, and she looked so much better..
Donna was smiling, finally. She looked relieved.
I finally turned to look at Rachel and Ryan: their smiles could have burned the house down.
I smiled at Wade; he looked at me, and finally smiled, and his tear-streaked face was finally free of fear and pain.
'Stephanie, you can rest easy, now,' I thought,
'Your demons have become Wade's demons, and he's a pretty good demon-slayer: I know that from experience.
'Thank you, Stephanie, for sending my Wade to me.
'We'll conquer the demons, Stephanie, for your little brothers and sisters, for all the little brothers and sisters that can't fight back, and for you, Stephanie,' and Kim reached up and pulled me into her hug with Wade, and he pulled me in even tighter.
'For my Wade, for Stephanie, for me:
'We'll make it work.'
-----
We had all finally returned to a semblance of calmness, and no one was crying, anymore. There were still sniffles, but no full-blown sobs.
I don't know how many tissues we'd used, but the piles on the floor were big!
"Joss."
It was Donna, and she looked a bit confused.
"Joss, you said something yesterday that bothered me all last night.
"What are you and Wade doing for the Montana Office of the Attorney General in providing drug interdiction intelligence information?"
I looked at Wade and grinned, then I looked at his parents.
Wade hadn't told them everything we'd been doing, or that he'd been doing.
I looked at Wade again, grinned again, and got my kiss. Then I crossed my legs, and I grinned even bigger inside while Wade watched me, then turned back to Donna, who was grinning, herself.
I began. "Well, Donna, it all started when Wade hacked into both the Montana DCI's network under the AG and their email system…."
-----
chapter now complete….
-----
A/N afterward:
I would love to tell you that Stephanie's entire story is from my fertile imagination. All of what I've written here is, sadly and unfortunately, the G-rated versions of the truth.
The bad news: there are predators out there, and they prey on all our children and young people and young adults, all in different ways, and they leave battered, broken, and ruined lives in their wake..
The good news: there are groups and organizations out there that are in-place shelters for these very same youth: they're in place to provide the Stephanies and Stephens of the world with an alternative to the choice that Stephanie made in this chapter; that's preferable, isn't it?
If you are able, find and help one of those organizations any time of the year, especially this time of year. There are children out there that have never gotten a Christmas present.
If you don't know where to look, look for a group called CASA (Court-Appointed Special Advocates) or for groups such as Lutheran Social Services. These are shameless and un-requested plugs for these organizations and others like them that toil, with little fanfare and far less funds, for our future.
If you are not able, please keep them in your thoughts and prayers, regardless of your beliefs.
It's for the Kim Possible fans younger than me, the ones that Disney's really trying to reach….
I thank you, and the young ones thank you, as well. Wade and Jocelyn thank you; Stephanie would thank you, too….
Preview:
Question: What do you do when you learn that your son's involved in providing drug interdiction intelligence information?
Answer: You say, with all seriousness: "Wade, you've got some 'splainin' to do!" and you sit back and find out what your else your 14-year-old son did on his summer vacation besides overcome his agoraphobia and get engaged. And, you worry: who did he 'hack' off, in both meanings of the word 'hack?' And, if you're lucky enough, you might even convince Ron to serve up some of his marvelous flan….
Wade's hacking into Montana DCI and the results are next: read this story in chapter four of Training Table Blues: Montana AG Blues.
Thanks again for reading, and please review.