CHAPTER XVII
A Moment to Think
"Everything has a price, Naruto-kun."
Naruto lowered his head and thought about this new piece of information revealed to him, "I know that…"
"But you're too ambitious, Naruto-kun. Pushing out your own idea of reality just to believe in something unachievable is suicide." He said, "Just like pushing out your doubts just to make Uchiha Sasuke see, and bathe in light is hopeless. If you've noticed before, he did come back while you were asleep in your own little world, and look what had happened—"
"Stop," Naruto gasped, "Just stop it, crap geezer." Bosatsu's eyes twinkled with wisdom as he watched the young man before him shakily bend to his knees, sitting on a squat position as his thoughts raided his throbbing mind.
"Consequences…" the blonde muttered to himself absentmindedly,
Bosatsu frowned and looked away. Telling Naruto about the cost of this jutsu was a mistake, although it really was the right thing to do. Right now he doubted that Naruto would want to learn the new jutsu after that little… confession he just made. It was better this way, he concluded, better to have him trapped in his own doubt rather than having him as an unrecognizable corpse…
"You've had consequences before, Naruto-kun, what's so different about this, mm?" he asked, hoping that Naruto would still consider the dangerous jutsu he had just introduced,
Naruto hunched down even more. He looked like a child that way. A traumatized and frightened child scared of his own shadow. Is it possible that the most confident ninja of Konoha have lost all his willpower? Already drowned by an ocean of ghostly grief and trouble; already dead and decayed with no hope of restoring back to life? His posture already proved so.
"Everything has its price, right old man?" Naruto whispered, suddenly interrupting his thoughts, and making his eyes snap as he looked at the young man before him, "And this thing… this jutsu…" he bit his lip, "Is too much than what I could usually afford."
He knew it…
"Why do I even need to learn something like this, anyway?" Naruto asked,
Bosatsu looked away to think, deciding that now was the very right time to wisely choose his words, "Uchiha Sasuke is stronger than you think. Stronger, even, compared to the young man you had throttles with. He could kill you in an instant!"
"Pft, let's see him try." Even that sounded false in his ears,
"With that kind of confidence, I'm confused as to why you still haven't accepted that jutsu I must teach you."
"But…"
"But what?"
Naruto lowered his eyes and crinkled his forehead down. There was something missing, but he just can't point his finger on it. For some reason he trusted this man. For some reason, something inside him was telling him to say 'YES, risk it!' For some reason, he thought that there was something he was supposed to know… but what was it?
What're ya' waitin' for, boy? It said, Take the damn offer! What're ya'? A worthless coward who can't even piss his pants in front of an old geezer? Pshaw! You're useless…
'Shut up,' Naruto mentally hissed, 'Kyubi,'
An amused roar of animalistic laughter echoed in his mind and made his eyebrows shoot down his brow, 'What?'
… You're so…
"Naruto-kun," Bosatsu said,
Naruto looked up and stared.
"Well?"
Naruto felt his mouth suddenly turn dry…
"NARUTO-CHAN!" A boisterous giggle…
Naruto looked behind him and felt his face lighten up as his heart slowly calmed down in his burning chest: Jinu.
Ino, who had a rather onerous responsibility of taking care of Jinu when Sakura (and the Rokudaime) had left, had decided to take the boy out to his usual childish games in the playground. She found it strange, though that the boy had a strange bond with the swings which was still roped to the tree.
She wondered when Shikamaru would be ready for a baby…
'Probably not,' she irately though, a frown turning against her sunny smile,
Yes, a simple day; a simple morning; a not so simple child… a genius, if you will, who can already do a perfect Kawarimi no Jutsu. Still subsided in her thoughts, with her eyes going here and there, following Jinu as he ran around with destructive toes, she was absolutely oblivious as to who was sitting down monotonously down the ditch.
No, it was Jinu who had noticed…
"NARUTO-CHAN!" Naruto's head impulsively turned to them, his eyes wide and shock written all over his face. He stood up and smiled.
"J-Jinu…" she stuttered, guessing what the boy was about to do as he ran towards the mouth of the depression, "No, no—w-wait!"
The boy recklessly ran down the earthy ditch and fell in Naruto's outstretched hands.
"Jinu! Ooh…" she rolled her eyes at the laughing pair and decided to go down as well,
"It's all right, Ino," Naruto said, the boy still draped around his shoulders, "He's just being the usual monkey he is." He poked a finger to one of Jinu's ticklish spots, the very side of his chest right under his right armpit, and had the joy of hearing the child squeal in his arms.
"You two have met?" Ino grinned: it was rather unexpected for Jinu, the son of Uchiha Sakura, and Naruto, seemingly the bitter rival of the black-haired Uchiha himself, had met with each other before,
Naruto turned his head away from them and looked somewhere else, his eyes going steely at first, and then he nodded. She was rather perplexed to this action of his but kept a straight face when he turned to them again. It looked like he was having an agreement with someone else… who wasn't here, as she can see, or was she blind?
Has he lost his MIND?
"'Course we did!" Jinu's voice rang out like a glockenspiel, "Naruto-chan's cool,"
"Hear that!" Naruto haughtily exclaimed, "He thinks I'm cool!"
Looks like she'll be spending time with him for a while, the arrogant son-of-a…
"Hey Jinu, I need to get going, kid," he told the boy, his smile still plastered on his face, yet there: sculptured into his eyes, some broken sadness, confusion—fear. She'd never known Naruto to have fear, much less carry it in his eyes. Naruto was never afraid of anything (except his oba-chan and Sakura-chan), but right now... it seemed that he was afraid of something more horrifying than life itself. What could it possibly be? His eyes were also, she thought, a bit distant, and were focused on something else more troublesome than forcing Shikamaru make the bed.
"I'll visit you later," he looked at her with a questioning glance. She nodded: yes, he can visit later.
Jinu owlishly smiled back, "Okay!" She only hoped that Naruto would be okay. But right now… a difficult task is at hand. She only wondered what Shikamaru and her children (yes, children) would be like in the far future.
Ino would've talked to Naruto about things, especially how life was faring him, but right now, a lot of things were on her mind: dinner, future mission obligations, the next begonias and roses in bloom… Shikamaru…
Especially that little speck of fear she had just noticed from him. It just couldn't leave her mind, and she knew that that little spectacle which accidentally revealed itself in front of her would haunt her to the rest of her days. Naruto without courage is like life without the ever needed sleep of death.
The waves struggled below his feet, coaxing his muscles until he relaxed completely. Beautiful day today, but behind it hides an ugly atmosphere.
He still hasn't thought about his answer: should he? Was it the right thing to do, or will it lead him to his miserable fate? It was like choosing between life and death, the question is would he be man enough to answer.
He sighed. Like distant sheets which fold upon the sky, the clouds seemed to cover the sun almost entirely, making the weather cool and breezy. Today was a beautiful day indeed. Again, he bit his lip until he drew blood as he thought about the risk. He knew for a fact that he didn't want to suffer for an eternity. He wasn't the careless, drunken man he used to be ever since he woke up from that world where time failed to pass. Right now— he thinks, he carefully thinks since there's nothing to think about anymore.
Dammit…
And Sasuke got even stronger while he was asleep in a coma. All he did on that stupid bed was waste his own precious time!
"No comments, Kyubi?" The fox was silent today. Strange, since the demon fox would usually speak in a whole hour before finally silencing itself.
No, he can't even consider that jutsu. That jutsu could ruin his spirit and soul, and no human is stronger than that. Hell, even a demon's not THAT brave to consider the jutsu. But then again, he was the most unpredictable ninja of Konoha.
He must come up with his answer tonight.
Naruto gave out a miserable sigh…
"Food for thought, Naruto-kun?"
Naruto quickly jerked his head up a soft voice and gaped. What was she doing here? Wasn't she supposed to be at the…
"I get bored sometimes," she said, as if she knew the inner workings of his mind. She gingerly took off her sandals and walked over him, plopping herself next to him and dipping her own feet deep into the embrace of the lukewarm river, "I just happened to see you here and decided to drop by." She smiled,
Naruto smiled back, grateful for her presence, "Thanks," he weakly said,
She silently noted his less energetic attempt to reply so she frowned, her eyebrows creating a small, delicate crease on her forehead, "Something wrong, Naruto-kun?"
This was unusual for her. Of course, Naruto missed three years of his life, surely she had changed also. Everybody had, why would he be surprised that her hair had grown past her hips, her eyes were white with age and knowledge, her delicate hands: calloused to the bone, and her voice: not as meek as before? No, her voice was bold, and filled with overall confidence. At least she's talking to him instead of stuttering all the time.
"Nothing's wrong," he said, peering pensively at the river, where he saw his hazy reflection, distorted by the smooth, shimmering ripples motioning around their feet like green silken sheets, "It's just that…"
Naruto's reply faded in his lips. He shouldn't.
"Yeah," Hinata whispered, "I should've known…"
They spent a couple of minutes in silence, both thinking about things they usually thought about this time of their lives. Naruto's head started to spin from all the confusion: if he actually did it, can he actually deal with the consequences? This consequence is bigger than time, bigger than any consequence he has ever faced…
But Bosatsu told him that this can actually defeat this stronger Sasuke compared to that other technique Bosatsu knew, and he only knew two jutsus…
On the other hand, this jutsu can weaken his physical body for about, like, a month or something like that, and the old geezer said that the others who even dared learn this technique had their bodies broken for about a year… and not to mention that other thing. He dare not even think it.
Then again, he just can't rely on his present strength. He has obviously weakened, and Sasuke has gained stronger while he innocently slumbered. In a way, Sasuke stole his strength from him…
"Naruto-kun," the very same voice suddenly snapped him out of his thoughts again, "I've heard that you and Neji were spending a lot of time with each other lately," Hinata grinned,
"Yeah," his eyes suddenly escaped the darkness which held it and turned bright, "He's been helping me with… some stuff,"
"I've never known Hyuga Neji to be quite a helper," she said teasingly, "He's quite fond of you, actually."
"Really, now," he chuckled, "And I heard that you actually married the stiff rock,"
She giggled, "The stiff rock also has tears,"
"Pft, tears because his hair got messed up."
Hinata laughed. How true, she though. Neji always took care of his hair, and he maybe even loved it more than his own wife, "I heard that he owed you." She proudly said,
Naruto smiled, this time with a glint of joy shining on his face, "That guy is just too sentimental,"
"When it comes to 'sentimental' there are only a few people who are on his list,"
"Well, if I know Nej', you're up on that list as his number one, eh?"
Hinata blushed as her smile widened as she looked away.
After forty seconds of silence, Naruto's façade suddenly turned sullen and thoughtful as his gaze once again almost abruptly sank slowly down to his sunken feet. Hinata looked at him as if his problem was her own, so placing her right hand on his shoulder, her voice rang out like a million whispering winds echoing in his ear, just like the Hinata she used to be, "Really, Naruto-kun, thinking about problems with that sullen face won't really solve anything. Hey, why not tell me your problem and I might solve it for you, hmm?"
… The thing is that he can't tell anybody about this, but it was sweet of her to be so caring. But either any way, he decided to pull her on and make up another new problem for him to share. Neji probably told her his trouble of not feeling that he belonged at all in this world, so it'd be quite stupid for him to voice out that same predicament of his.
"I feel that there's something missing in my life. I don't know what, so I'm actually trying to figure it out…"
… Man, that was a STUPID, idiotic crisis.
Hinata's thoughts started to fish out comforting things from her mind. Her eyes brightened: she had thought of something: "Maybe you don't want to admit it to yourself, maybe— you don't want to admit to yourself that what you actually want is a family, or rather, who you actually want is Sakura-chan."
Naruto's eyes widened as his body tensed, "But she's married!"
"If there's something I learned about true love, Naruto-kun," she boldly said, "She doesn't love him at all. She used to love him, but it was only a shadow of who he was. She never loved him… she loved you."
'Oh-kay, where's this feeling coming from?' he thought,
"I just can't believe how utterly DENSE you are," she joked, "But then again, all guys are like that so I'm not surprised at all."
His eyes widened, "Men can't be that dense," he countered,
"Oh, but they are, believe me." Hinata said,
"I-I've been pining for Sakura-chan ever since the day I was born… okay, so maybe NOT on the very day I was born. Well—whatever…"
Hinata rolled her eyes, taking note of Naruto's flustered stuttering, "Yeah, go on,"
"Look, my point is that if we men are so dense, then how come she never thought about me being the right guy for her? I mean, it's quite obvious that Sasuke didn't like her before at all…"
"Look who's talking," she said,
A dumbfounded silence…
"What am I supposed to do now, huh?"
"I say," Hinata said as she finally stood up and looked down on him with confident eyes, "Take up a mission and live a normal life rather than moping around all day, doing nothing but thinking and making your head hurt, it makes you older, and believe me, you're getting there."
"W-will do,"
"And stop whispering to yourself;" Naruto couldn't help but stare at her, awestruck, "It's scary."
She left him wondering who that girl was and how she got to be named 'Hinata'. Naruto raised an eyebrow and started splashing his legs around childishly in the water. The world was better with this Hinata… positive, secure, happy— a bit feisty, as well… and not in-love with him.
Yes, Neji and Hinata.
'Nej' is a very lucky guy— that jerk…'
He knew that later on, Neji would visit him again, and they'll be like old friends who've known each other from the start. And then, Sakura-chan would return, and that's when he'd reveal the truth to her. And if he does……
His lips were thin and expressionless, yet his eyes escaped the chains of sorrows which bound them earlier…
Suddenly, his troubles were far away…
Because he's already decided his answer...
A/N: OMG... I'M SO EFFIN LAATE! Okay, I thought I wasn't that late because, well, time flies, but then I checked the calendar and almost got a heart-attack... but I'm glad this chapter is over! Expect... to kill me when you read the next chapter, 'cause guys... it gets really ugly for our hero on this point on. Really, really :D
Please read and review, since reviews give me a boost and makes me hyper... :lol: