A/N: So sorry for the long wait! I could only update at my mom's since my net wasn't working at my house. But I finally got it back. Also on a happier note I finally got the first volume for Hellsing! Sooo happy. Thank you to all who reviewed! I thought my story would suck! Ok enough chit chat, on with the story!

Disclaimer: I do not own Hellsing or Winnie the Pooh. There happy? grumble… lawyers

Chapter Two "Integra Finds Out and Illicit Pictures"

"You are going to tell no one! Especially Integra!" said Alucard sternly, but with a hint of nervousness. "And why not? She needs to know. She can also help us figure this out," countered Seras. "We don't need her. I can figure this out myself. So you better not say anything or…" He was cut off by Seras' next words. "Or what? You can't boss me around anymore. I'm in YOUR body. So that means I have YOUR power and YOUR strength. So if you'll excuse me I have to run."

And they were off, passing by a bewildered Walter who was coming down to give them breakfast. "Hi Walter. Bye Walter!" screamed Seras over her shoulder, while she ran up the stairs with Alucard hot on her trail. Walter could not believe his eyes.

I don't know if I'm seeing things, but was that a half naked Alucard and equally skimpily dressed Seras coming out of her roomWalter just shook his head as he set the buckets down on Seras' table.

The looks the pair were getting as they ran through the halls of Hellsing were ones of shock, curiosity and total bewilderment. It was extremely hard for Alucard to keep up since he wasn't used to this body of hers.

As they were running down the corridor that leads to Integra's office, Alucard tackled Seras to the floor. She grinned into the carpet, she could sense Integra coming. She would get her Master back. Smirking, she flipped him off of her and started to cry.

"What is the meaning of this?" demanded Integra as she walked towards them. When she got there the mini cigar in her mouth fell to the ground. Integra could not believe her eyes. Alucard was crying as he complained about a scraped knee. While his fledgling was getting up and staring furiously at the crying Alucard.

"I'm going to choke the life out of you!" yelled Alucard as he lunged himself at Seras. She just laughed. "You can't choke me. One I can't breathe. Two I'm already dead!" she laughed as she held his wrist. All he could do was growl at her. His growling made her laugh even harder. His growl sounded more like mewing since he now had a higher pitch of a voice. Seras' laughing and Alucard's death threats brought Integra back to earth.

"Stop! You two in my office now!" she ordered before leaving in a brisk walk. Seras let go of Alucard and got up. She turned back to him and stuck out her now abnormally long tongue. After hearing his mewing (growling) she turned and skipped after Integra as she sang Winnie the Pooh's theme song. Winnie the pooh. Winnie the pooh. Chubby little tubby all stuffed with fluff. He's Winnie the pooh. Winnie the pooh. Willy nilly silly ol' bear! He glared daggers at his skipping figure before following suite.

"Explain yourselves," ordered Integra as soon as the two Nosferatus skipped and walked in. Alucard shot Seras a warning look, who in return just smiled and shrugged her shoulders. "I would like to comply with the order but unfortunately my Master won't let me," answered Seras slightly put off. Even though she was now in Alucard's body, she was still bound to him as his fledgling, body, mind and soul. Alucard smiled in triumph. "Alucard I am in no mood for games," replied the agitated Hellsing as she rummaged through her drawers in hopes of finding a mini cigar. "That's exactly it! I'm not Alucard! So I can't obey orders from anybody except HIM! Unless… (she grinned evilly) unless his Master ordered me directly," said Seras happily.

Integra just looked at her servant like he had grown an extra head, (even though he could). She just let out a frustrated sigh as Alucard looked furiously at his fledgling. He was mad at the fact that she was able to find a loop hole. "Alright fine. I order you Seras Victoria to tell me what happened," finally said Integra. "It's a long story, but basically me and my Master switched bodies," she answered humorously. Integra's mouth dropped for the second time.

"Your Master, is he OK? He didn't hit his head too hard did he?" Integra asked Alucard. He turned red from anger. "She is not my master! I'm HER master!" he yelled. Integra was truly lost. After a minute of thought she called Walter up with an order to bring two items up.

When Walter came in he was at a lost for words. It was as though he had just walked into a slumber party of sorts. Alucard was sitting in a chair wearing only his pants. Seras next to him, wearing a spaghetti strap night gown that barely reached mid thigh. And Integra was wearing what seemed to be a man's flannel pjs.

"Madame?" he asked uncertainly as he put the two things she ordered on her desk. "Apparently Alucard and Seras have switched bodies. But thankfully there is an easy way to find if it's true just stand back and watch," replied Integra as she sat back in her chair. Walter did as he was told, still dubious about the whole affair. He was about to ask how was this going to prove anything when his question was answered.

"She is soo cute!" "Blood!" Both Alucard and Seras crashed into each other trying to get to their desired prizes. They both hurriedly got up to claim their trophies. Alucard ripped the medical bag of blood open and drank greedily. Seras scooped the kitten into her arms and started to nuzzle it with her cheek. When both Alucard and Seras turned they had a look of pure disgust on their faces.

"Stop nuzzling that furball!" ordered Alucard. "No! And stop drinking blood!" snapped back Seras. He just scoffed. Like really he the No Life King was going to stop drinking blood. Walter's laughter broke the fierce staring contest between the two vampires.

"Ha Ha Ha! Alu… Alu… Alucard… in … a GIRL'S BODY! Seras' no less!" he laughed as he leaned on to the desk for support. "That is enough Walter," said Integra who was trying with all her might not to laugh. Alucard kicked the chair in anger at the fact that he had fallen for their bait. Seras on the other hand didn't care. She was content with cooing at the now purring kitten in her hands. (Alucard cooing at a kitten. LOL!)

"Now do you believe me?" she asked as she now cuddled the kitten. "How did you exactly switch?" asked Integra who was still trying not to laugh. "Don't know. One minute I'm in my room the next I'm in his and in his body," she replied. "Do you know Alucard?" "No. It's basically what Police Girl said," he answered irritated with the whole situation. Walter spoke up with a sudden Idea.

"Madame may I suggest looking in your spell book?" "That is a clever idea. Bring it out." When Walter put the enormous black book in front of her, Integra immediately set to work. She remembered reading something about switching bodies here. "How long will it take her?" asked Seras. "I'm not sure. But I suggest that you two wait in your room. I will be down shortly with your breakfast, except you Alucard, you already ate" added Walter. Both vampires muttered as they headed down to Seras' room. She didn't want to eat and he did.

"So what do we do now?" asked Seras as she sat at the table. "Well you could stop messing with that furball and get dressed," answered Alucard as he sat un-lady like on a chair opposite of her. "Her name is not furball, it's Buttercup. And as for the whole getting dressed thing, you're one to talk look at what you're wearing." Alucard rolled his eyes as the night gown transformed. He was now wearing black slacks, black boots, a dress shirt, vest, his red tie, and to top it all off, his red hat.

"Wow I look good! For now on you're going to come shopping with me! But lose the hat." Seras walked up to him and took the hat. "Now that you're dressed time for me to get dressed," he said. "I'll be back," As Seras turned to walk out she was stopped by Alucard's voice. You can get dressed here," "What?" asked Seras. "It's time for you to dress yourself mentally." "I don't know how!" "I'll teach you," simply answered Alucard as he petted Buttercup.

"Imagine your clothing. When you can clearly see them in your mind, put yourself in them. Now do it," he instructed. She did as she was told. After a moment of silence she felt her body tingling as her clothing transformed. After the morphing stopped she opened her eyes. When she looked herself over in the mirror she laughed out loud. What she saw will make her laugh for years to come. She was looking at a laughing Alucard wearing a short skirt police uniform!

Alucard was not pleased. "Since when did I wear skirts?" "Since now. I think it makes you look rather attractive," laughed Seras. It was when she was doubling over with laughter did Walter walk in.

"I have your…" He couldn't help but start laughing at the image of Alucard in a skirt. "Breath a word of this to Integra and you will pray for death," threatened Alucard. "Ok, I won't tell her, but I'll show her!" Out of nowhere Walter produced a mini camera! Seras enjoying the mortification her Master was going through posed for the pictures.

A/N: LOL! I hope this chapter makes up for the long wait. I also hope you guys enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! Please review. I need to know what you people have to say! Also ideas are appreciated! Thanks!

-Harry/Ginny91 ------ Weird screen name I know.