Chapter 2: The joys of eBay, Kretzing comes along
Psycho's POV:
"Wow! This place is so awesome!" I exclaimed, walking out of the bathroom in a red silk bathrobe. Can you believe the robes are FREE?
"Tell me about it!It's better than my own house!" Katie said, eating some fruit off of a giant plate.
"Duh, it's better than my house too!" I said, sitting on the plush bed. The walls weremad eof pure marble, there was a beautiful fountain in the center, and the large screen TV glowed brilliantly as we atched an old Dracula movie.I sighed, taking in the sweetness of this room...
...And then went back to reality.
The room was trashy, to say the least. We spent all our money shopping, so we had to use the cheapest room possible, which was a garden shed with a bathroom and beds. There wasn't even a TV! I guess this is punishment for enjoying myself. I eyed the doll sitting up on the dresser and looked at Katie (by the way, she really does think this place is better than her house. Probably because she could destroy it and no one would care.), who was reading a book and eating a Twix bar, rather than fruit.
"Did you move the doll?" I asked. Katie looked up and shrugged.
"Can't member. Crunch crunch Maybe it's alive!" she said, laughing and looking at the book again. I laughed. Good one Katie. Now I'll have sleeping problems, thinkin' my doll's alive. I climbed into my bed and turned towards the lamp.
"Hey, finish up. Lights out in five minutes," I said. Katie groaned.
"Whhyyyyy?"
"'Cuz tomorrow we actually have to start looking for our friends. Lights out!" I said, clicking off the lamp. Katie groaned again and got into her bed. My last thoughts before falling asleep were:
I wonder how Jimmy's doin'...
Later that night...
Ugh, I hate wakin' up at three or something. I didn't get out of bed, I just sorta laid there. You know when you just wake up and you wanna fall back asleep but you can't? That's happenin', and I don't like it. I heard someone scuffling around. Assuming it was Katie on a late-night sugar raid, I ignored it and rolled over. The scuffling stopped for a moment when I rolled over. I froze. Maybe she's afraid of waking me up. I waited a minute, and the scuffling started again. I smiled. At least she's considerate.
"Don't worry about distrbing me Katie! Just don't be obnoxious in the morning, 'kay?" I called. The scuffling stopped and I heard her curse under her breath.
Wait... since when did Katie curse? And why did her voice sound so... so husky? Somethin' tells me that that's not Katie...
"Katie? Are you awake?" I whispered, keeping my ears open for movement. Nothing so far. What if the intruder's some kind of murderer? What if he's a rapist? What if he's a VAMPIRE? Sorry. Too many monster movies!
"Psycho? What? Usually I'm the one up at three," Katie muttered, sitting up in her bed. I gulped as I saw a shadow fall over me.
"K-Katie!" I squealed.
"OMG PSYCHO! THERE'S A MIDGET ON YOUR HEAD!" she yelled. I jumped up, knocking the tiny figure off the bed. I turned on the lamp and gasped when I saw a knife next to my pillow. That guy was gonna stab me! Katie picked up the knife and we cautiosly looked over the bed where he had fallen.
"Goddamn it! Son of a bitch! Do you have to hit so hard?" the doll asked.
THE DOLL?
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! TALKING MIDGET!" Katie screamed. I merely stared in wonder! I know what this is!
"Katie! We have nothing to fear from this!" I said, picking him up.
"What the heck are you doing?" he yelled. I smiled and held it up.
"This is one of those SPECIAL dolls that can move and everything! How awesome is that?" I asked, getting excited. Katie "oooed" and walked closer.
"So... it's not dangerous?" she asked. I snorted. Is she nuts? Dolls can't hurt people! I bet that knife is plastic anyway!
"Nope! What should we do with it?" I asked, looking at it.
"PUT ME DOWN YOU STUPID BITCHES!" Chucky screamed. Katie whispered suggestions in my ear. I turned down every one. Face it. With the growing fear of bombs in the mail, people might think we were terrorists for sending living dolls. Then, a light bulb flickered in my head.
"WE WILL SELL HIM ON EBAY!" I announced. Yes! EVERYONE will want a cursing doll, so where better to send him than eBay?
"Excuse me?" the doll asked. I turned him upside down and shook him.
"Where's the off-switch on this thing?" I asked Katie, shaking harder as the doll flooded me with strings of curse words. He actually managed to fit 12 bad words into a three word sentence, but I can't tell you what the sentence was because I was too busy counting every time he used the "F" word.
"Hm... Let's hit it with something. That may help!" she suggested.
"M'kay. Hand me that stick over there."
"Sure thing!"
"Noooooooooo!" the doll screamed and bit my hand.
"YEEEEEEEEEEOOOOWCH!" I yelled and threw him across the room. Ow! Good Lord! I didn't know they could BITE! Owch! I rubbed my hand and sighed when I saw a small bruise forming. "Y'know, the people who made this doll coulda at least thought over the danger of giving them teeth."
"Yeah, but money's tight in this day and age. A lot of people don't care about the well-being of their employees and customers. They only see themselves as creatures of higher order and we are the subordinate species," Katie explained.
"Wow. Sucks for those unsuspecting customers, huh?" I laughed. haha! It's their own fault! Oh, wait. I'M an unsuspecting customer. Does that mean all those clothes I bought are gonna try to kill me too? I walked over to where I'd thrown the doll.
"Mother fucker... Why do you keep throwing me?" he asked.
"GASP! HE SAID THE MOTHER OF ALL POTTY WORDS!" Katie screeched.
"Uh... he said it a bunch before that," I said, referring to the three word sentence.
"Yeah, but you actually typed it ou this time!" she screeched and pretended to faint.
"Omigod! I did!" and I fake-fainted too. Nyahaha! Fake-fainting if fun! Oh... wait... I dun think Katie's fakin'...
"So... how come you're alive? I'm guessing that maybe this isn't a marketing ploy after all," I said, sitting down in front of him. He eyed me suspiciously for a second. "I won't throw you..." He sat down too.
"Name's Chucky. I've been killed several times, but this time, when I was brought back to life... I'm not sure who brought me back... but the last person I knew to do it was my wife- OH SHIT!" he yelled and jumped up. "I gotta get back to Tiffany! She's gonna think I left her! I don't wanna face her wrath!" he yelled, trying to escape. I grabbed the collar of his shirt and held him back.
"Hold it! What're you talkin' about shorty?" I asked, holding him in front of my eyes. He glared.
"I've been seperated from my wife. I have to find her!" he growled, "And I'm not that short..." I dropped him.
"Katie! Huddle!" I ordered. We walked to the other side of the room and began quietly chatting. "I think we should help him," I whispered.
"What? Psycho! he tried to STAB you! And how do we know he's tellin' the truth?" she asked.
"Well, think of it this way. If we help him find his wife, we may find our friends too! They can't have been placed too far from us! and besides, Jennifer Tilly may be here too! With the movie people that had Chucky, that is!" I squealed, my eyes turning into little stars. Wee! i can meet Jennifer Tilly! I can actually meet her!
"So... we're helpin'?" she asked.
"We're helpin'! Tomorrow! Operation: Find Midget-boy's wife!"
So, the next morning, we convinced Chucky to let us help.
He said no at first, but after some "convincing"- And by that, I mean some violent tactics...- he changed his mind! We hit the road at 7 in the mornin', fueled by bagels and OJ, and began scouring the city.
Now, before I get on with the story, I gotta warn you: This is where Surge is available in LARGE quantities! See, it was banned in the South for a REASON. Alternate mission: Cut Katie away from Surge supply... wherever that may be... NOOOOOO! SHE FOUND A VENDING MACHINE!
"No! Don't do it Katie!" I screamed and dropped Chucky (I was the one carrying him), running to the vending machine. I grabbed the can from her hand and threw it.
"Um... Psycho...?" Katie asked. i turned around and saw she was behind me... Whoopsie...
"Eheheheh! Sorry about that!" I laughed nervously and backed up. The girl standing there was about our age, with brown hair, andbright eyes. She was wearing blue jeans, a black beanie, and a tanktop that read 'I'm not crazy... I just haven't had my medication today!'
"Why'd you do that, huh?" she asked, glaring fiercely. "Nobody does that t- KATIE!"
"Huh? Do you know h- OWCH!" I yelled as katie pushed me over to get to the girl.
"KRETZING! ZOMG IT'S GREAT TO SEE YOU!" Katie squealed. This is Kretzing? The Surge supplient? Didn't think I'd meet her in person...
"You're Kretzing?" I asked, picking up poor Chucky (Pfft... 'Poor Chucky'?) who was still abandoned on the ground. "Sorry about that, Chuck!"
"You are sooo dead after we find Tiffany! And don't call me 'Chuck'!" he hissed. I gulped and walked back over to Kretzing and Katie.
"So, you're Kretzing? Sorry... I thought you were Katie... which is strange because you look nothing alike..." I said, scratching the back of my head. Katie cleared her throat.
"Psycho, because you were paranoid about me drinking Surge, your brain automatically screened the first person you saw buying Surge as me. I'm not buying it while we're here," she said.
"Oh! Good-"
"I ALREADY BROUGHT SOME WITH ME! YAHOO!" she said and chugged it...
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
"Woo! Gimme some of that!" Kretzing yelled and drank a can as well...
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
"NOW WE'RE HYPERACTIVE! YAAAAAAAY! LET'S SING A SONG!" they yelled together.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
"No! No songs! No hyperness! Come on Katie!" I yelled, trying to drag her away. She resisted and kicked me in the shin. "Yeow!"
"Uh-uh! I'm not leaving! We finally found someone we know!" she whined and hugged Kretzing. I rubbed my shin angrily.
"Yeah, you know 'er, but she's not who we're lookin' for! We're looking for Zoe, Jimmy, and Dennis... And Tiffany too..." I said, quickly adding Tiffany to the list.
"Jimmy?" Kretzing asked. She began scratching her head as if she were trying to remember something. Has she seen him? Worth a shot...
"Yeah, he's about sixteen years old, maybe five inches taller than me," I put my hand a little bit above my head to show how tall, "he has black hair, and two pieces like antenners hangs in front, he has yellow eyes, he was wearing a red jacket last time I saw 'im, black jeans, and black converses. He's reeeeeaallly hot. You seen 'im?" Kretzing snapped her fingers and nodded.
"Yeah! He was here a few minutes ago! He was holding a blonde doll similar to yours," she said, pointing to Chucky. Jimmy's with Tiffany? Wow! We can find someone, and shake off the midget all in the same day!
"Where'd he go?" I asked. Kretzing shrugged.
"I dunno. I was too busy starin' at his butt. It looks REALLY good from certain angles!" she chirped. HOW DARE SHE? NO ONE TALKS ABOUT MY JIMMY THAT WAY!
"Why you little-!" I pulled up the sleeve of my shirt and walked towards her menacingly. Chucky made a loud curse when I dropped him.
"OMG! THE DOLL SPEAKS!" Kretzing yelled. Chucky sat up (is he aware that hundreds of other people can see him?) and made a rude sign with his hand at me. Such a rude midget!
"Yeah... he does that sometimes!" Katie said. I picked him up quickly and looked at the people around us. Phew! No one saw... I think...
"What were you thinking?" I hissed in Chucky's ear.
"If I told you what I was thinking, then the rating of this story would skyrocket," he growled. Oy, guess it's better not t'know.
"Well, whatever. Let's go, Katie!" I commanded.
"Yeah! See ya', Kretzing!" Katie said and waved goodbye. We took off towards... well, I'm not sure where we should start looking... So we just started running.
"Wait! Wait you guys!" Kretzing yelled. We stopped and looked at her.
"Whaddya want?" I asked.
"I'm coming too!" she sang.
"EXCUSE ME?" Chucky and I yelled at he same time.
"Gasp! You are? Yay! A friend who won't abuse me!" Katie sobbed in happiness and hugged Kretzing. Wait, wait, wait, wait! I believe I should be able to decide who comes and who stays!
"Hold up! No offense, but I already have enough 'extra baggage'," I said, pointing to Chucky.
"Come on! Pwwwweeeease?" Katie and Kretzing asked, making cute chibi faces.
"That's not gonna work this time!"
Ten minutes later...
"I can't believe it worked," I muttered as Kretzing pointed out buildings and told us about them.
"... and that was the first ever Hooter's establishment... and that was where Jack met Sally... and that's a fire hydrent! Thus concludes our tour!"
"I thought Hooter's originated in the South," Katie said. Same here... Ah well.
"So, uh... where're we goin'?" I asked.
"To the train!" Kretzing exclaimed. Wha? The train? Why the heck do we have to get on a train? "Because I wanna see them make the Chucky movie!"
"Are you reading the typing too?" I mumbled.
"Yup!"
"Swell."
Okay. Chappy's over! Ugh, this story is hard to think up stuff for...
Next Chapter: What happens in Pizza Hut stays in Pizza Hut