Hey! The newest installment is in! Yay! Oh by the way, thank you Tevtev for the... lovely message!

Chapter 5: You, me, and a bottle of Surge

Kretzing's POV:

FINALLY! Some recognition! I have patiently waited until I got to tell the story! You people don't respect me enough. That hurts. I should have gotten to tell the story at the BEGINNING! I mean-

Everyone: GET ON WITH IT!

Fine, fine. You're all so mean! Ahem, anyway, we drove for another three hours. Psycho fell asleep, and Katie restrained Chucky with duck tape, so it was quiet for now...

"Hotel... Bed?" Katie asked sleepily.

"Not yet... Yeesh! You think we woulda seen one by now! Where are we anyway?" I asked, pulling over and opening the map. The sudden jolt woke Psycho up.

"We there yet?" she yawned, stretching and kicking Chucky for no reason. Chucky responded with some profanity.

"If you weren't my ride to LA, I'd stab you and leave your carcass out for the buzzards!" Chucky mumbled.

"Hey! Knock it off! It just got quiet!" I yelled in frustration. Yeesh, how old are they? "Good news! There's a Holiday Inn three miles from here!" I said happily.

"Bath! Bed! Food!" Psycho and Katie cheered. Even Chucky looked a little bit happier than he was. I guess long car rides make him crabbier than usual. We reached the hotel without anymore outbursts from Psycho and Chucky, which made the drive A LOT easier! We managed to get a pretty good room! There were three beds, so Chucky could have his own, Psycho and Katie could share a bed, and I'd get my own!

"How come we gotta share?" Katie asked.

"'Cuz I'm the narrator at the moment, and I say what happens," I said. I CONTROL ALL OF THEIR FATES! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

"Actually, I'M the one telling the story," Psycho said, raising her hand, "Without me, none of you would be here at the moment." Damn... she's right... "So, I should get my own bed!" she said, kicking me off the bed.

"Fat chance!" I yelled, jumping on her and shoving her off. She responded by tackling me and we began a wrestling match for the bed.

"Catfight! Catfight! Woooohooo!" Chucky yelled, throwing his fist in the air. Ow! Hey! Watch it! That's my eye you crazy bit- Owwwww!

"Neither of you want to share a bed with me?" Katie asked sadly. We stopped and looked at her. She looked on the verge of tears.

"Uh oh..." Psycho and I said.

"NO ONE LOVES ME! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" she sobbed. Psycho jumped off of me and hugged Katie, consoling her. It ended up with me getting my own bed and Psycho bunking with Katie. Haha! I got the bed after all! Chucky was happy that he got his own bed too. He was actually quiet for more than ten minutes... Ten and a half minutes, to be exact.

"Hey, make me a sandwich!" he oredered us.

"No," we said and began watching TV.

"I want a sandwich!" he yelled, giving us the death glare.

"Make your own sandwich! You're short, not crippled!" Psycho replied and turned on VH1.

"I hate this channel!" Katie whined.

"I like it! We can watch your shows next!" Psycho said, singing along with the "I Love the 80s" theme song... If you could really call it a theme song. I mean, it's the same phrase over and over again! Speaking of repeated things, have you noticed that if you look close enough at Chucky in each of his movies, his eyes are either lighter or darker than the last one? If you did, you're a nerd.

"I wanna sandwich!"

"SHUT UP CHUCKY!"

30 seconds later...

Psycho walked back into the room with a barbeque fork sticking out of her left arm and a sandwich in her hand.

"Happy?" she growled as she threw it at Chucky. He smiled and ate it, taking custody of the remote.

I'm soooooo booooooooooooooored! We ran out of money in Idiotville, Oregon, and we had yet to see jobs open... or a gas station for that matter! How did we end up here?

"Ugh... I'm hungry!" Psycho mumbled, rubbing her stomach. "Let's eat Chucky."

"Bitch"

"Asshole."

"Whore!"

"Censored for your benefit."

"Also censored for your benefit."

"Also also censored for your benefit."

"Both of you shut up!" I yelled, clearly frustrated. Psycho pouted and mumbled something. Chucky just glared at me.

"What do we do? We barely have enough Gas to make it to the next town!" Katie groaned.

"Hey, get those two to push the car," Chucky said, pointing to me and Kretzing.

"Wha? Nuh-uh! I don't do manual labor!" I said, flopping back onto my seat. Sorry, but I don't enjoy work...

"I'd do it, but I need someone to help. I lack upper body strenght," Psycho sighed.

"I'll help! Kretzing, can you drive... er... sit up here?" Katie said, hopping out along with Psycho. Hahaha! They have to manual labor! And I don't! Hahahaha! I got out and moved to the front seat while Katie and Psycho got out and began pushing. Being that they were two thin, teenage, stupid girls, they didn't move very far. Chucky was yelling out... I'm gonna call them "words of encouragement"... More like he was screaming for "those two bitches to move their scrawny asses or he'll MAKE them go faster". I feel for them, y'know?

Ding ding! Kretzing's brain ish working!

"I gots me an idea!" I hollered and jumped out of the car. Psycho and Katie collapsed and started panting.

"Th... This sucks!" Psycho wheezed.

"I... I... I agree!" Katie said, her eyes now resembling X's.

"Don't worry! I have just the thing to get you back on your feet!" I said happily. This ALWAYS works...

I pulled out two bottles of Surge.

Psycho's POV:

"ARE YOU CRAZY? YOU ARE NOT GIVING THAT TO KATIE!" I yelled, snatching the bottles. Katie pouted and Kretzing glared.

"Why not? it'll give you an energy boost!"

"Yeah, but not a long one. Energy drinks wear off prety quickly, and they leave you feeling even MORE exhausted than you were before!" I said, "Plus, there's too many calories in it for me. I prefer water." I learned that in science!

"I'm glad you did your homework, but can we hurry this up? I'm gettin' tired of you bitches," Chucky said, messing with the steering wheel.

"You'll wait as long as we say you have to!" I yelled.

"Trust me! That energy boost will be enough to get us to civilization!" Kretzing said. I dunno... I've seen Katie on this stuff... but what's gonna happen to me...?

"Well... Okay. What've we got to lose?"

"Our dignity?" Katie suggested.

"Shut up and drink the soda," I said. I took a deep breath and downed the whole thing. That's funny... I don't feel-

OMGSUGARHYPERHYPERHYPERILIKEPIEDOYOULIKEPIEPIEISAWESOMEOMFGTHERE'SATALKINGDOLL INTHEFRONTSEATLET'SHUGHIMHEDOESN'TWANNABEHUGGEDPUSHTHECAROKAYWEEEEEEETHISISFUNI'MHUNGRYAREWETHEREYET... I'M TIred now...

I hit the ground with a thud as the drink wore off. Katie fell after me, but she was able to sit up. I was EXHAUSTED! I'm NEVER drinking one of those again!

"Come on, girls! We're halfway there!"

"Noooooooooo!"

twenty seconds later...

"We...'re... HERE!" Katie wheezed before falling face first into the ground. Ugh... I think I'm gonna vomit... BLARGH!...Too late...

"Welcome to LosAngeles! City of angels! Home of uber sexy actors... Aw, you know!" Kretzing said.

"WHAT?" we shrieked. We're here already? I expected to still be traveling for at least another chapter! Oh well!

"So... where to?" I asked, dusting my jeans off.

"Um... Er... I dunno," Chucky said, scratching his head.

"You don't know where your own movie is?" Katie asked, "That's sad."

"Shut up! We just need to ask for directions!" he snapped.

"Yeah, great plan. 'Excuse me, we have a killer doll that claims to be one of the props for the new Chucky movie. Can you please point us to the set?'" I said, acting out the scene.

"Grr..." Chucky growled and mumbled threatening words. I responded by making offensive handsigns at him.

"Well... with the movie still developing, it shouldn't be too hard to find Ms. Tilly wandering around, right?" Katie asked.

"Yeah, let's just hope she doesn't have a league of bodyguards or anything," Kretzing sighed.

"Why would she have bodyguards?" Chucky asked.

"Read this," she said, handing me and chucky a Newspaper:

Pop Diva Killed in Car Accident:

Britney Spears, 20-something, was driving with her sister and wearing panties for once. She was on her way to the new set of the horror movie Black Christmas, for which she was hoping to get a part in. Along the way, Jamie Lynn Spears, younger than twenty, spotted what she claimed to be a boy with black hair driving a convertible with a blonde doll in the passenger seat. Jamie Lynn turned back around and told her sister to put her hands back on the wheel and stop painting her nails because she was afraid that they were being followed. Then she remembered that her sister was britney Spears and was not really that desirable anymore, so she said her worries subsided. 10 seconds later Britney started screaming and said she was bleeding. Jamie Lynn says that her sister mistook her ruby red nail polish for blood and freaked out, causing them to drive headfirst into a ditch because Britney thought that was the best idea. We don't know why... Jamie Lynn suffered minor injuries, but her sister accidentally swallowed the bottle of nail polish when they crashed. That has led us to one theory:

The black haired boy and doll used telekinetic powers to smear Ms. Spears's nail polish, which caused her to freak out.

"Who writes this crap?" I asked. Telekinetic powers? WTF? The bitch just freaked out and drove into a ditch. I swear...

"How come I don't get any powers?" Chucky asked.

"Dumbass..." Kretzing and I mumbled.

"What?" he asked.

"Nothing!" we replied.

"Okay... So Jimmy has powers now?" Katie asked, scratching her head.

"Naw, it's just a tabloid article. She probably was run off the road by a drunk driver or something," I said, crumpling up the paper and tossing it over my shoulder.

"Well, now what? Everyone in LA's gonna be lookin' for Tiffany and Jimmy now!" Kretzing sighed. She's gotta point... If we find them, we may be noted as accomplices! And then we'd get arrested! And that would suck.

Meanwhile at the lab... Haha! Haven't been here in a while!

"Yo! Doctor F! Jimmy's a delinquent now!" Zoe said excitedly, snatching the paper from Alyssa's hand.

"Hey! I wasn't finished!" Alyssa protested, trying to get it back. Dr. Finklestein wheeled over and took the paper.

"Where did you find this?" the doctor asked, looking for the date published.

"It flew outta the portal along with this little guy!" Zoe chirped, holding up a dummy that was... shall we say... not very attractive. In fact, I'll let my good friend Stephen Lynch explain how it looked:

"DAMN that's an ugly baaaaaaby! DAMN that's an ugly ass baaaaaaaaaby!"

You get the picture. It was unattractive. It had sloppy dark hair and a head the size of Shaq's smallest shoe. It was wearing a black suit and had a sort of "I'm stoned and dead to the world" on its face.

"Damn that's an ugly baby," Alyssa said, turning it over and over in her hands.

"I know! Let's dress it up!" Zoe said.

"Yay!"

While the two girls went to torture the poor thing, Dr. Finklestein began loking into Psycho's and Katie's locations.

"Strange... It says they're in this world... But why are they still..." he looked at the picture of the orange and purple cat girls. "Puzzling... Truly Puzzling."

Meanwhile... in the nearest Holiday Inn...

Chugchugchug

"Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

"KATIE! PUT THE SURGE DOWN!"

next chapter: Illusions, mysteries, and voices