Disclaimer: I don't own Phantom of the Opera; however, I do own numerable related products…

A/N: Sorry it took so long… Bon appetite!

Chapter Four:

Dear Diary,

If I could have one wish, I would have never opened this school. Unfortunately, that wish will never come true… But I won't back out! I'm going to prove to those students that I can be as scary as they can… I think… I hope… Okay, I'm going to go hug my stuffed bunny now… maybe he'll give me some courage.

Love,

Erik

(Authoress inserts herself to aww at Erik's cuteness…)

The spies and Morvana looked at each other in silence, and then burst out laughing.

Once their laughter had died down and reduced to random giggling fits, NeverAfter asked, "So what should we do to terrorize Erik?"

"We could put his underwear on the flagpole…" Henriette suggested.

"Naw," Morvana said," that's too cliché. I say we make his stuffed bunny talk… and he won't be saying just any thing. No he'll be…" At this point, the authoress decided that you didn't really need to know the rest of the plan until it was carried out. Mwah!

So anyway, after a few uh-huh'sand good idea's, and a round of mwah ha's, the girls began to plot for the ultimate terror for Erik.

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As Erik stood at the front of the room teaching, the door burst open and woman walked in.

"George! Georgiekins!" she called.

"Who's George," Erik inquired.

"You are, silly goose!" she cried as she threw her arms around him and squeezed him to the point where he actually turned purple.

"Who… are… you?" he managed to choke out.

"I'm your substitute mommy!"

"Ouch!" he tripped as tried to run away from her. "I think I have a boo boo… I mean owie… I mean I think I scraped my knee!"

"Aww… want substitute mommy to kiss your boo boo?"

"Yes please," he sobbed.

"It's going to be okay George," Mominator said in a soothing voice.

"After school, can we make cookies?"

"Sure, Georgiekins…"

"WHEE!" Erik cried, standing up and dancing, similar to the dancing the authoress' PE coach was doing today, and let me tell you, it ain't pretty...

(Authoress randomly inserts herself) "Hem HEM!" (Authoress disappears, leaving an ENTIRE crate of rotten tomatoes.)

The confuzzled fops sat in silence, however, the phan girls realized where the authoress was going with the tomatoes, and began throwing them at Erik, who unfortunately stepped on one and went sailing through the air, landing on top of our (cough) favorite fop.

"EEEK!" Raoul screamed.

Erik stood up and brushed off his swishy cape, blushing deeply. Raoul giggled, and then turned to Hun who was sitting behind him.

"I think he likes me…"

(Awkward silence)

"Okay," Erik finally broke it. "On with the lesson."

So the rest of class continued uneventfully. However, later that night… well, let's just say things became very… interesting.

Erik was sitting alone, composing a great masterpiece, when there was a knock upon his door. Sighing, he left "Insignificant Leaf" to answer the door.

"Hello roomie!" Raoul shouted when Erik answered the door. The only thing that kept him from slamming the door in the foppish… fop's face was… well… the authoress.

"What do you mean 'roomie'?" Erik demanded angrily.

Giggling, Raoul answered. "I'm your new roomie, silly!"

Erik looked up at the authoress, who was whistling and looking around innocently.

"What? I didn't do it!" she exclaimed.

Erik (cough stupidly cough) accepted this answer and turned around to face the fop, who was deciding where his Backstreet Boys poster should go.

"You think it would look good here, next to my N'SYNC poster?" he questioned.

"I know the perfect place for this poster," Erik replied, grabbing it from Raoul and ripping it in half before stuffing it in the trash.

"EEK!" Raoul shrieked. "That's, like, my favorite poster!"

Ignoring his foppishness, Erik turned and stormed back to his composition. He became so engrossed in his work that by the time he looked away, Raoul had completely redone the place. Erik gazed in horror at the pink frilly curtains and pink frilly bedding. On the BUNK BED?

This was all too much. He tracked down the fop, who was talking on the phone.

"Oh, my GAWD! This place is, like, so great… you should come check it out… Oh, I know! How about we make it a sleep over!"

"No way!" Erik cried, snatching the phone from Raoul's hands. "I will not permit you to have a sleep over in MY HOUSE!"

"Well," Raoul said quietly, "Technically this isn't a house…"

The two were interrupted by someone at the door. Erik answered to a large group of Phan Girls.

"Is this where the show is?" The Magic Pickle Fairy (Tay) asked.

"What show!" Erik angrily demanded.

"See? I told you phantomphan wouldn't be stupid enough to have it here." Tay said, turning toward the nerdy fop.

Erik looked up at the ceiling, expecting to find the authoress. However, what he didn't know is that she wasn't at her usual post. Instead, she was busy collecting tickets for the show… I mean… baking cookies!

The phan girls stole away at this point, and Erik remain clueless thanks to the authoress' quick thinking.

He slammed the door closed and directly after, there was another knock.

"What the he… hey Christine," he said, turning into a drooling puppy.

"Is Raoul here?" she asked timidly. Why timidly? Because that's how she is, duh!

"I'm in here!" he called, wiping his hands on his pink floral apron.

"… I don't even want to know," Erik said, turning away and going back to his composition. However, he found a surprise when he reached his organ. His music had been completely destroyed. There was marker all over the pages!

How could this have happened?

Flashback:

"Hey Erik!" Raoul called, "Can I color?"

"I don't care. Just leave me be!"

"Do you have any paper?"

"It's on the table…"

End of Flashback:

That answered his question. That's where he had put his finished acts. Now he'd lost years of work because of this FOP! His anger quickly boiled and he exploded.

"RAOUL!" he screamed.

"Yes?" Raoul said blinking innocently.

"What do you call THIS?"

"It's a butterfly on top of a flower, silly."

"You. Colored. On. My. Life's. WORK!" Erik was hysterical as he said this.

"Oopsies…"

"Oh, ho ho… you don't know the MEANING of that word, but don't worry my dear fop. I shall teach you…"

"Raoul?" Christine called timidly. "It's starting to burn!"

"Coming!" he replied, then turned to Erik. "I need to finish Christine's highlights…" he explained before he ran away.

Erik sighed and went to salvage what he could of his now ruined masterpiece.

A few hours later, Raoul came out and announced that Christine would be coming in any moment.

She stepped out (can you believe it?) timidly and twirled around. Erik was speechless… Christine looked truly amazing. Her hair had been straightened and cut and highlights had been added. She was wearing a crimson red halter dress with black, strappy high heels. She was even wearing makeup!

"Did he do this?" Erik asked in amazement.

"Uhh… yeah," she replied, amazingly, in a very timid voice.

"Dang it!" Erik cried, "Now who will I use for punjab practice?"

The authoress, out of an act of kindness, threw a (hem hem) completely random fop doll at him, and then disappeared.

So everyone was happy and the fop surprisingly lived… isn't that just peachy?

A/N: Sorry if I didn't get you in this chapter, but it kind of got away from me, and I figured you guys deserved an update. I hope you enjoyed it and please review!