Disclaimer: I don't own Phantom of the Opera.
A/N: You can thank Megan and Jordan for this chapter… It's pretty much their ideas and my writing.
Chapter Five:
Erik for President sighed. No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't get it right.
"Okay," she told herself. "This is the last straw!" She furiously grabbed the bowl and began mixing just as furiously. Then she carefully poured the cake batter into the pan. She popped the gooey mess in the oven and then began practicing playing "Happy Birthday" on her bagpipes in front of her Erik poster. It wasn't easy throwing a surprise birthday party for a Phantom… especially when no one is really sure when his birthday is…
Oh, well… She would throw the party and then Erik would like her the best. Right?
RIGHT?
Anyway, as it turns out, the party, much to the surprise of everyone was a success. There were minimal injuries (well, we can't all control SOME peoples' urges to punjab the nerdy fop…), and Erik even got the new punjab he had been wanting for some time now, thanks to the wonderful SOPROL. And you know, for someone named LonesomeGurlAngelofDeath, she was quite the chatterbox…
So pretty normal, right? That is, until the authoress' friend decided to pop in…
"Hey!" Megan cried defensively, "At least I brought a gift… Now, who's the Phantom?"
The entire party stood, gaping, with the exception of Raoul and erick'slover, who were trying to see who could fit more marshmallows inside the Phantom piñata, at a very confused Megan.
"How can you call yourself a phan?" LonesomeGurlAngelofDeath finally broke the unbearable silence with her question.
"I don't." Megan said simply.
A chorus of gasps erupted throughout the room before everyone went back to their cake. Erik stepped forward.
"Let's see," Megan said to herself, "Mask, cape, punjab lasso… in hand. Yup, that's Erik." She thrust the present in his hands.
Excitedly, he began opening it. Paper began flying everywhere.
"Okay," Megan said, "I know I did not use that much paper to wrap it…"
"It" was a book… manga, to be exact.
Erik gave Megan a puzzled look and so she tried to explain it to him.
"This kind is pretty much all really really pretty girls and really really pretty boys like Raoul thinks he is."
"Ah…" Erik seemed to understand. He began reading it, but after about the third page, he dropped the book and began screaming bloody murder.
Raoul picked it up and began examining it. He began to have random giggling fits, which worried Megan.
"You do know what that is…"
"Yeah, of course," he replied.
"So you DO realize that it's an R/C slash… that's a relief."
"Uhh… what does that mean?" Raoul questioned.
"It means that that," Megan pointed at the book, "Is Erik, and this," she moved her finger, "Is you."
"Oh… I thought that was a girl… I mean, with that hair…" he paused, thinking, and then began to frantically search his… hem hem… man bag. "Oh, my GAWD!" Megan began to become hopeful that Raoul understood, only to have her hopes crushed when Raoul uttered the next part, "I DO have a zit!"
Megan was about to slap her forehead, then thought better of it and slapped Raoul across the face. Raoul was unfazed and began reading again.
"Major sweat drop!" Megan cried and joined Erik in screaming bloody murder.
As if this weren't enough, Jordan also had to drop by.
"Hey!" Evanesce said, then proceeded to introduce herself.
"Did you know that a snail can crawl across the blade of a knife without getting cut?" Jordan said.
A few frightened guests backed away, but a dazed Christine decided that she must follow Jordan around to gain more of this knowledge.
"Where do you learn these things?" Christine was practically drooling, although this isn't really anything new.
Jordan looked skyward and then back to the partygoers around her. "IT'S DEFINITELY NOT THE ALIENS!" she screeched…
(Guests give her weird looks)
"I mean the library!"
"Oh…" Christine said. "And the library is a…"
"Aye!" Jordan exclaimed. She then proceeded to disappear, but much to her dismay, so did Christine.
At that moment, dark-hearted rose made her entrance.
"My favorite stalker! You have no idea how happy I am to see a normal person here" the authoress exclaimed, hugging dark-hearted rose.
"And how's my favorite stalkee?"
"Very frightened," she said, staring at Megan.
"Hey," Jordan said, popping in yet again, "Did you know that toilet paper was invented in China in the year AD 1391 with each sheet measuring two feet by four feet?"
"No, and I don't care," Tariel answered.
"Suit yourself," Jordan shrugged and disappeared.
So just for fun, the authoress decided that Morvana should pop in…
"Hello, dearies!" she cried, shoving her present into the now calm Erik's hands.
"Whee! Another one!" he squealed girlishly. He tore through the bag and pulled out a beautiful new Punjab lasso.
"Wow… such craftsmanship…" he never got to finish what he was saying because right about then, the lasso turned on him. Erik's eyes widened.
"You know," Morvana said, finally releasing the mechanical grip on his neck, "When dealing with Punjabs, always keep your hand at the level of your eyes."
Erik made one of those weird mocking faces.
"Hokay then…"
A/N: That's all I feel like doing for now… And I know, I still have four of you to write in, but I'll try to give you a big part in the next chapter. If you have any ideas, please share them in your, dare I say it, REVIEWS!
Lotsa love!
phantomphan1992