Disclaimer: Still no own.
His Past, Her Present, Their Future
Chapter 5 - Reflections
The wedding had been a beautiful thing, and Kagome had spent most of it in tears. When the groom and bride finally kissed, she had been sobbing in happiness. Her friends, the pairing she had been able to see forming for years now, were finally able to be together. She had known this day would come once Miroku had desisted groping anyone but Sango and she had seen Sango's grins after dealing him a booming scream that the monk was nothing but a pervert. Kagome was beyond happy for them.
Sesshoumaru would be arriving for her and Shippou the next day, the same day that her friends would be setting out back to the Exterminator's village to begin their rebuilding efforts. She had promised to visit. A part of her was still aching over the idea that her friends would not be departing with her this time. For years they all had traveled, fought their battles, and traded their secrets side by side. Now she would be going with Sesshoumaru; while he wasn't her enemy, it just wasn't the same as going with her closest friends. She would miss them.
She supposed, though, on some level, it was for the best. She couldn't imagine traveling with Sango and Miroku, only to be reminded every day of her original companion. Sure, she still thought of him every day in some capacity, but it would be worse seeing the 'regular' group in its entirety, missing the familiar fire rat's robes.
Traveling with Sesshoumaru was going to be… different. For one, she knew that fights would practically be over before they had even begun. There would be few demons, jewel shards or no, that could stand up to the youkai lord's poison whip, claws, or blade. For another, she knew the cheery conversation she had become accustomed to on the shard hunts would be at a minimum; though Sesshoumaru and she often had long involved conversations, it didn't happen around others. The only time they'd have for that would be at night, once the children had gone to bed.
Part of her mind couldn't wrap around the idea of collecting the Shikon Shards with Sesshoumaru. He had been their enemy for so long, and only in the last year that that had changed. First, InuYasha had been injured in a fight against Moryoumaru. Even with his uncanny healing abilities, he was down hard, and had been very lucky to even survive. Knowing the dilemma, Naraku had gone after Kagome with a fury, attempting to retrieve the pieces of the jewel that she held. The battle was fierce, with several puppets and Kagura to boot. With only Sango, Miroku, and her, it was a losing battle from the beginning. Even though Kagura was obviously not fighting to her potential, the three of them had still been worn down quickly.
Sesshoumaru had arrived in a streak of white and silver, taking down the puppets and a large section of forest with one blast. Once Kagura had retreated, he had stared at Kagome for a long time, the gashes across her thighs and side bleeding, before lifting her and telling her friends that he would take her to the House of the Moon 'until the hanyou was capable of protecting her once more'. He didn't want the jewel completed by Naraku. Weakened by blood loss, she hadn't had it in her to put up much of a fight, and was promptly toted off to his palace.
It had been an interesting two months, to say the least. The first week she was stuck in bed, followed by another two weeks of arguing with Sesshoumaru at every turn. Her neck seemed to be permanently bruised from having his fingers and claws dug into it, but somehow she had survived those weeks. The second month was calmer. InuYasha was recovered, but she was not yet, so Sesshoumaru wouldn't release her. The barrier that surrounded the grounds was too strong for even Red Tessaiga, so her friends were forced to wait. During this time she began to spend a lot of times in the gardens and came to be rather at ease. She and Sesshoumaru barely spoke, but when they did they rarely argued anymore. They spent many evenings in one another's company, just watching the stars.
Kagome wasn't sure how it started, who started it, or why that night had been different, but suddenly it was. Just a random night like any other, six weeks after her 'capture', the two were sitting under the full moon and they had started talking. Kagome disclosed her origins, and discovered how curious the demon lord was. About everything. Anything he didn't understand, he wanted to. He told her it was because living as long as he had, it was rare to find things he didn't know about. It was then that she discovered, as well, how the lifespan of a demon was not so much a blessing as she might have thought.
She told him about InuYasha, about how she felt she was at her wit;s end. Of course, he had little to say about this, other than to tell her that she had to trust her own heart. It was that that led to her to the conversation with InuYasha, telling him that while she would always love him as her best friend, that she would release the 'love' she had been clinging to for him. He had kissed her then, a real kiss, slow and languid, and thanked her. He told her that had things been different he would have counted himself lucky to spend his life with her, but his honor wouldn't allow him to ignore his vow to Kikyou. Kagome had cried and fallen asleep in his arms. But the strength she had gotten from Sesshoumaru had allowed her to be strong and hold her head up, and treasure every day with her puppy-eared hanyou.
It was in the subsequent conversations with Sesshoumaru that she learned he did indeed have a heart. He was passionate about many subjects and felt a broad spectrum of emotions. From rage and jealousy, to love and guilt. The latter two, he said, not so much in the past five hundred years, but still there nonetheless. Rin had once again reminded him that he felt such things. He didn't like to talk about his past, though. He didn't like to talk much about himself at all. The only time she was able to get anything out of him was a night when he seemed deeper in thought than usual, and had insisted she wouldn't tell him anything else about her until she knew something about him.
So for one rather quiet night, he told her tiny tidbits of information out of the crisp silence. He never met her eyes, she never turned, he never elaborated. Just every so often he would say some little secret, seeming as if he were speaking to the stars themselves rather than the little miko beside him. Things she was sure he hadn't spoken of in a long time.
Like that he had feelings. That he had once been in love. That his mother had been killed when he was three hundred, still a teenager by demon standards. That his hatred for InuYasha was not for any reason she could comprehend. He told her how he was rather adept at painting, but he only did when he needed to relax. He also told her that he had not had an actual conversation like the ones they had been having in several hundred years, since his mother was killed. She felt a swelling of happiness within her at this, to know that somehow she had gotten him to open up when no one else could. Well, 'open up' might not be the correct term, but she could at least get him past his monosyllabic responses.
At last she told him she had to leave, and he had allowed it. But now they parted as friends, and she was hard pressed not to hug him when she went. Oh, the face InuYasha had made when she waved goodbye to his brother with a broad grin. That face had kept her from catapulting into the Lord of the Western Lands and telling him she would miss him. Every few weeks he would come to them, to InuYasha's chagrin, and he, Rin, Shippou, and Kagome would leave for a few hours. No one understood her friendship with the silver-haired demon, but none dared to stop her when she went with him. She always came back unharmed. This, of course, did not stop InuYasha from arguing every single time, but after a few well-placed 'sit's, he got over it.
The battle with Naraku had been a long time coming, and the day it arrived Sesshoumaru was there, with InuYasha arguing that HE was the one to protect Kagome, so his brother was not to interfere. She had sat him for that, saying that he was being an idiot. When Naraku had arrived, the two had stopped bantering and joined together against the evil hanyou, as much good as that had done. Kagome shuddered to think of that last battle, and quickly took her thoughts away from it.
So now, here she was, months after Naraku's defeat, and trying to sleep on the eve in which her new adventure would start. She missed her family; she had missed Souta's birthday already, and wondered how he was doing. Her mother was heartbroken that she wouldn't be coming home for a while, and was probably worried sick. Kagome wondered how her grandfather was holding up. His health had been deteriorating in the last year, and she really hoped to get to spend some time with him before he passed on. She hated the entire situation, but knew she had no other course of action.
She rolled to her side, watching her friends sleep. It would be a long time until they were all together like this again, if they ever were. She wondered if she should tell them that she would be leaving, but quickly decided against it. She wanted them to begin their new lives without burden, and she wanted their last times together to be untainted. She would miss them so much she could hardly breathe, but it really was for the best.
Kagome moaned and rolled over again, biting back tears. She wished so much for them both. She wanted Sango to make peace with herself. She wanted Miroku to learn to enjoy life free of his curse. She wanted their family to be full of laughter and many additions, with their every dream fulfilled. She wanted their memories of their hard times to be eclipsed by their new happiness, but for them to never forget how hard they worked to earn their lives. Sesshoumaru had been right. Past experiences had sculpted her into who she was, so she had to be strong and grasp the years of smiles, laughter, pain, and tears close to her. They would live on in her every time she remembered that these people had made her who she was.
She closed her eyes to sleep, content to wrap her thoughts of her loved ones around her as she drifted.
A/N: Though I cannot reveal those things I WILL do, but I am going to now say what I know I will NOT do…
1) NO DEMON KAGS! No! NEVAR! Haha. There are a few very good stories out there that include this, but there are a very LARGE amount that suck. Royally. No, her parents weren't actually demons, no she is not the hime of anything, and no she will not suddenly 'unlock' this. No. Half the fun of Kags/Sess is getting him to move past hating ningens…and seeing that discounting an entire species is wrong, because not all of them are the same.
2) NO TRAINING MONTAGE! Though I will reference to the fact that Sango buffed up her abilities to fight, and her miko powers will have grown substantially (also her ability to use said powers) in the four years she's been traveling in the Sengoku Jidai, there will be no 'let us train you now, leading to angst and sexual tension, la la la' moments.
3) NO ARM RESTORATION! I don't think ANYONE has the power to grow back an ARM in an instant. Healing, yes. Restoring bone, muscle, and tendons? No. I do think it would regenerate over time, but poor Sesshou will just have to wait it out.
4) NO 'OMG I'M PHYSICALLY ATTRACTED TO YOU SO MUST BE IN LOVE!' Love isn't lust, they are different things. Love is something borne of understanding, trust, and time together. So, it wont be 'jump in bed and aishiteru'. :P
5) NO 'WE HAD SEX AND NOW I AM IMMORTAL! WOO!' Though I like to idea of Kags sharing Sesshou's lifespan, I don't see mating a demon making this possible. Nice thought, like stories that do this, but I am not going to. I want to TRY to be original, damnit!
6) NO SESSHOU MIND READING OR DREAM POKING! He cannot get into her head. Would make understanding easier, sure, but no. Not to happen.