a/n: ah, well it's not as long as some of you were hoping... But it is an update! Filled with emotion! No kissing though... so sorry to disappoint... anyway, don't forget to review! It inspires me. And we all know what happens when I get inspired.

Disclaimer: Been there, done that, never owned this...

Exchange
Chapter 17: Confess

Kaoru's lungs were barely working, so in her opinion, there was no way in hell she was going to be able to provide him with an explanation as to why that should have never happened. Why none of those kisses should never have happened. She stared into his burning eyes, trying to form words in her head. It was impossible.

A faint smirk was making its way up to his lips, but he was trying hard to fight it down. It wasn't a laughing matter, but she just looked so perfectly confused... Her lips were moving, but no words were coming from them. Not to mention how dazed her eyes were. It was as if she didn't even know where she was.

"Kaoru?"

She shook her head. "Huh?"

"Are you going to admit it?" he asked softly as he fingered a piece of her silken hair that had escaped her hair tie.

She licked her lips and his eyes flashed to follow the flicker of her tongue. "I... Admit what?"

He chuckled, rubbing her hair in between his thumb and forefinger. "That... I've finally gotten to you."

"Gotten to me?" Her attention snapped back. "You have most certainly not gotten to me!"

"I think I have... Kaoru."

"Kenshin, look," she started, shaking her head again. "None of this should have-"

"Don't," he whispered, placing his forefinger over her lips. "Don't say that. You know it's not true."

She sighed. 'If only it weren't...' "It is."

He sighed in turn. "Kaoru, you can deny it all you like, that won't change anything."

"Kenshin, this isn't-"

"I've heard this speech before. We weren't meant to mix races. But Kaoru, that doesn't matter! All that matters is how we feel and I-"

"Don't say it," she pleaded, pulling away so that her hair fell out of his fingers. "Don't."

"But I-"

"No. Kenshin, this isn't right. We weren't meant to be," she finished quietly. "That's just the way it is."

He shook his head and grabbed her shoulders in order to make her face him again. "You can't say that! It's not true."

Her eyes widened and the wild look in his eyes, the desperate tone in his voice. "Kenshin-"

"Kaoru, please. Don't you see...? I-"

She shut her eyes, not wanting to hear it. It would wear down her defenses. Her carefully built walls. All her lies. She shook her head, willing him to keep silent.

But he didn't listen.

"I love you, Kaoru!"

Her mouth was doing that thing again. It was moving, but not making any sound. His eyes were burning into hers, seeking answer to his declaration. She had no words. Thoughts were racing through her head, but none of them were able to work their way out.

His demanding gaze lost some of its intensity over the period of her silence. Her own face was crumbling and she knew it. She wanted nothing more than to bury her face in his chest and hide. Yet, at the same time, she wanted to jump up and run out of the apartment.

He wasn't smiling anymore. He was fighting back the urge to shake her, to try and make her answer somehow. He settled on saying her name.

"Kaoru."

She continued to stare at him, realizing how her silence was being interpreted. She opened her mouth again in an attempt to make words come out.

"I... I don't-"

He sighed.

"I understand," he murmured, releasing her slowly. She didn't feel the same.

She stared at him dumbly, not quite understanding what was going on. He stood up and looked down at her once before starting to retreat in the opposite direction. She turned her head to follow him with her eyes.

"K-Kenshin!" she called, finally comprehending what had just happened. What he thought had happened.

He tilted his head in her direction.

She licked her lips again. "You didn't let me... finish. I... It's not that I don't... have feelings for you it's just..." she trailed off, not knowing how to put it.

She'd never been in an emotional relationship. It was all new to her.

"Kaoru, it's okay." He took a step back towards her, relief flooding his eyes. It was written all over his expression. "I'll help you..."

He wrapped his arms around her waist and muttered sweet words into her hair. She was still so confused. Confusion was something new. She didn't like to lose control of herself. And that's exactly what he was doing to her.

She embraced him in turn, winding her fingers through the fabric of his shirt. It had started. Her charade. Now it started for real.

But she didn't think she was acting this time.

a/n: click the button!