Reading other people's work is so discouraging, my writing is just terrible... which might be because I don't even look over after I've written after I've written it the first time, but still... RUMBLE! is just awesome. 3 Man, what kind of idiot am I? I'm way out of my league here...

The story thus far: Luffy's saved a town and the celebration is underway, but just as the fun is about to start another pirate crew lands ashore! Will they crash the part or join it? Nami is terribly furious with her captain and trying to choke some money out of him, will she succeed by tonight?

Warnings: Unrevised writing with an over-used plot! Get ready for it.

Disclaimer: Don't own One Piece or it's characters, just the story.

Chapter 1 : Nami's Mistake Part C

As the boy clambered to the stage all life froze. "Pirates!! Pirates are here!!"

Things brightened up once again, much to Nami's distaste. Seeing as how she couldn't get through to Luffy she was really hoping some powerful thug would do it for her, but that was not the case. These pirates were an extremely fair playing and friendly bunch. They didn't even really look like pirates. They looked like a dirtied crew of peasants stranded aboard a ship. At least they smelled like pirates.

The straw hats had broken up, Robin was too indulged in her read to leave her seat outside by the hearth, and Usopp seemed to have rottenly shoved Chopper away, so now he was sitting with Robin. A brigade of females attacked Sanji before he could get indoors, and that was that.

The original first four members now bathed in the yellow light and humid company of the local pub. Usopp trying desperately to attract a crowd, continually yelling louder, Zoro having a go at an entire barrel of rum, and amazingly enough Luffy wasn't stuffing himself like a pig just yet. Something else was bothering him.

It seems the local smithies and artisans had teamed together to make two copper, larger than life sized statues, no doubt any one could guess who they were modeled after. Luffy was marveling in the glory of his own image as the men that had crafted them bragged about such and such details.

Nami, as always, was unamused and unimpressed, staring blankly at the piles of wasted effort and materials. No doubt if they were going to pay us, that just came out of our bill... great...

Finally fed up she closed her eyes and shook her head, rubbing her temples again. An honest looking -but terrible smelling- pirate came up on her side and invited himself to sit next to her, setting down two spilling mugs of beer. "Care for a drink ma'am? You look a bit glum."

A devious idea came over Nami as she wrapped her fingers around the cooled mug's handle. It shivered through her like the chill she got from the frigid cup on her lips. The man watched in awe as she took the whole thing down in four gulps. "Yeah, let's you and me see who can drink more. That would make me feel so much better." She passed a wink and licked her lips, getting up to sit closer to the bartender. The now quite eager man tailed straight after her with his tail between his legs.

Soon Nami had the whole crew up against the counter as they all kanpaid away their soberness. One after another men collapsed off their stools like flies, and Nami unmercifully pushed the remainders on until all were unconscious. What easy pickings... Nami smiled to herself as she searched through their garments for their wallets.

As she came to the last man, she slipped on the rum they'd all been spilling on the floor as it had dripped off their chins or been dragged down with their plummeting selves. Landing with her head on his chest, her hand clenched around what it had fallen on, a rather happy bundle of beri. Hearing him grunt a little, she figured it was a delayed reaction to her tripping onto him and shrugged it off. She brought it to her shining eyes in bliss, at least one thing was going right!

Slipping it into her bra she felt the body beneath her tremble a bit. Crap!! His eyes are open!! But odd as it was, his eyes were not on her, but fixated on the darkness behind her. They soon closed again and the man went limp. Nami felt a little paranoid, but decided he didn't realize what was going on, and giggled mischievously to herself, then shoved off the ogre's body.

Her good mood however was spoiled when she averted her gaze to lay on Luffy still drooling over his three dimensional self portrait. Zoro seemed to be deep in sleep, but opened an eye to look at Nami. Neither was truly in a good mood. Zoro was tired of being dragged left and right when all he wanted was some shut eye, but Luffy was intent on trying to force him to gawk at the statues.

Zoro lifted one of his hands, revealing it had been fastened around a bottle of grog. "How about it?" Nami smirked.

"You're on."

"Another round!" Zoro called merrily as Nami rushed herself to keep up, choking on her drink every now and then.

"Wait, I'm not even done with mine yet!" She turned her head to the swordsman who burst out laughing but stopped himself abruptly.

"You should enjoy your alcohol more." They both reached for the next mug, Zoro in a laid back manner and Nami as though she were trying to win a marathon.

"Baka! You're the one who's drinking it faster than me!" She couldn't help but retort before slugging away the now tasteless foamy substance in her glass.

The drinking had been going on for ages and neither was showing any signs of going out soon, but Nami seemed to be feeling a little tipsy. Well, not a little really, very, tipsy.

As Zoro has a tendency to do when drinking, his head nearly came in contact with the wet polished wood of the counter, and Nami nearly jumped up with both arms in the air, until Luffy's elongated arm yanked Zoro away, jogging him awake. Nami's jump was more out of fear than victory by now, and her eyes followed the fray.

Luffy, not even looking at Zoro was puffing angrily at the workers before him. "I want it!"

"We can't do that, we need something to remember you by," "Yeah! You're a legend in these parts now!" "We want our children and their children to revere you," "which is a lot easier with a good image…" "Besides, how would you keep it on your ship?" Each guy piped up when it seemed his turn came, looking to see if the other were going to speak first.

"Nami! Can we pay for it?"

" . . . "

That was about the worst question he could have asked really, and one could tell by the way she tried to march straight toward him despite her awfully drunken state. However, before she could reach him, a cool skinny hand nested on her shoulder.

She looked behind herself about as fast and alarmed as she could be, and met eyes with a rather tanned, weathered man, who wasn't really as pale or weak as his hand. They stood for a moment like that, and Luffy, assuming Nami was busy, shrugged and turned back to the workers to argue once more.

"I don't think it would be wise to harm these simple folk's hero miss..." this man in the end spelled out villain in Nami's mind, despite her currently clouded judgment. "But you know, I have a deal for you. It's quite a catch if you have a minute..."

For some reason Nami felt the need not to speak, but to encourage him onward any way. She simply nodded her head in acknowledgement. She felt as though she was making a deal with the devil, but continued any way out of curiosity or rage.

"Here I have this SeiSeiFruit. No harm will be done to your friend seeing as how he can't swim already, hmm? It's a popular prank with my customers. I am a devil fruit merchant, and although you've saved this town, and we are truly greatful, I'm afraid everything in life comes at a price. 2000 beli. My final offer."

That's dirt cheap... devil fruit are sacred treasures of the sea… Nami was quite the woman shopper and loved a good bargain. She'd even gotten far more than that from looting the suckers back at the counter. Right now, any thing to get back at her captain sounded even a little appetizing, she clasped her small hand in his and shook it roughly as any drunk would. "Yeah, that sounds nice..." he watched idly with a distasteful, lecherous expression as she reached into her bra to extract the cost.

As she held it out, he grabbed more onto her than the money before his hand receded and took the pay. "It's a deal then. You can distract him from his predicament with a bowl of fruit, disguise it, yes? Here." The man reached behind himself and brought forth a platter of apples. Most of them looked waxed, not a common thing in such an era... but like Nami really cared. He set the fruit down in the center, like a cue for Nami to relieve him of the burden, which she did.

Without another word or glance, she walked to Luffy with the platter and unstealthily offered it. "Here Luffy, try some."

Luffy's expression brightened enthusiastically as he reached out to grab it. "Ah, Nami! You're not mad at me anymore?" Without waiting for an answer he looked at the platter and grinned at the food. "You're totally wasted!" Nami just smiled and watched on. Luffy, like a moth to a flame gripped the top fruit of course, it standing out so much. "What kind of fruit is this?" He carelessly stuffed the entire thing in his mouth, gulping it down.

"If you don't know what kind of fruit it is aren't you even going to taste it?" Zoro chided beside him, half asleep.

Luffy stuck his tongue out in disapproval. "It didn't taste very good anyway."

"How would you know, you didn't even bite into it..." Zoro was drifting off into sleep.

Nami's face lit with terror. What? Why hasn't anything happened? Did I just get conned?! She turned to look behind herself frantically for the merchant who was indeed standing where she had left him. He shook his head calmly and looked back to Luffy. Nami assumed he meant to wait for it.

Luffy then grabbed the next fruit smiling like a fool. "Yaay! Apple!" He stuffed the whole thing into his mouth, trying to swallow it whole. It got stuck.

He started to scoff air in through his nose and beat the floor around him in desperation, accidentally slapping Zoro on the cheek, who rose to his knees immediately and punched Luffy over the head until he realized he was choking on something big.

"Ano baka. I told you to chew before you swallow!" Zoro reached out absent mindedly and cupped his hand around Luffy's neck, shoving the apple back up with a mighty squeeze, but he stopped midway in alarm. "S-Something's wrong!" Without continuing to hesitate on wondering what had happened he moved behind Luffy and fastened his arms in a circle around his waist, yanking repeatedly until Luffy coughed out most of the apple, but managed to bite off part as the rest exited his system.

As Luffy swallowed it, his neck slimmed, his hair straightened, his hips expanded, his chest popped and overall he got a little shorter. He was now a she.

And the real story finally begins! Chapter 1 isn't quite over yet though. Beware! The next chapter has sexual harassment, kind of… once I get into the real story I'll start looking over my work and trying to make it better, make them more in character, make the script less corny, throw in the other crew members more… but this will also slow the posting time to maybe weekly or semi-weekly instead of daily.

Yes, I was indeed too lazy to write out the scene of the pirates meeting the mayor and making peace with the island. It was just too damned boring for me. Hahaha. How this is all turning out to be from Nami's point of view is going to change soon. I think. shrugs Sa na. (who knows)

Any reviews please?

kanpai - cheers, what you say as you toast

baka - idiot

sei - gender