So here we were. Ashley and I. It was like my dream, my white shirt, her tan and smooth legs going on forever like a dancer's. What if the dream was a premonition? It seemed to be coming true.
I smiled at her, a thin awkward smile and I felt the wine I'd drank, felt it blurring my senses, eroding my reason. It all happened so fast, the spill and the phone call and like a play everyone's exits were orchestrated, just the two main players left on the stage.
I couldn't help but notice how the dim light in the room and the twin flicker of the candles was reflected in her eyes. Couldn't help but want to reach out and caress her leg, to taste her salty skin with the lightest brush of my tongue.
"Uh, look, Ashley, I could get you a pair of my pants to wear…if you want…" I stood up, nearly knocked the chair over and watched Ashley down the last sip of her water. To be fancy Craig had given her a wine glass for her water and she held it up now, empty, and watched the play of the light on its smooth surface.
"That's okay, Mr. Jeremiah," she said, her voice as smoky and sultry as an adult's. She stood up, walked the few steps to the couch and sat down, still holding the empty wine glass.
"Could I have a glass of wine?" she said, an innocence creeping into the sultriness and I knew I shouldn't give her wine, a 15 year old child for Christ's sake, I knew I shouldn't.
"Sure," I said, and poured her a full glass, the wine a deep blood red. She brought the full glass to her lips and sipped it, and I poured myself another glass, too. Came over to the couch and sat next to her.
"So how's school?" I said, in part to remind myself that she was a school girl and to remind her that I was…well, her boyfriend's step-father. But the wine certainly was going down nice and easy and I thought nothing of it when she asked for another glass.
Craig had been gone awhile. Some crisis with Sean, there was no telling when he might return. I slid closer to Ashley and she didn't move away and I felt the tantalizing friction of her bare leg against my dress pants, watched with drunken eyes as she let her hand trail along the seam of my pants. Craig's possible return any moment only heightened the excitement and fear and we both breathed a little quicker.
"More wine?" I said, and she nodded, and wet her lips and I ached to kiss her. If I just tilted my head slightly, leaned over her and into her, if I just…
"Mr. Jeremiah?" she said, her voice so low I could barely hear it.
"Yeah?"
"Is this wrong?" she said as she tilted her head, closed her eyes and I had to lean in and kiss her, her lips as soft as I imagined. I didn't know what was wrong anymore, I'd lost whatever moral compass I had started out the night with, and I kissed her tenderly, ran one finger up her smooth thigh until I reached the edge of my crisp and starched white shirt.
I heard the car pull up outside long before I heard Craig's footsteps on the walk and I sat up and slid away from Ashley. She was breathing hard, her legs spread ever so slightly, her hair messy. I stood up and walked unsteadily toward the kitchen, spilling a few drops of my latest glass of wine. They fell like blood to the floor.
Ashley fixed her hair with her fingers but it didn't look much improved. She blinked, sat up and put her knees together, tried to look innocent again despite the hectic spots of color high on her cheeks.
"Hey," Craig said, striding in, tossing his jacket onto the chair, "Sean is a total mess, he's-" He stopped talking mid-sentence and looked at Ashley all disheveled on the couch, and me lurking like a fugitive in the kitchen. He looked from her to me and for one split second I was sure he was going to deck me, and he'd be within his rights. I'd take the punch.
"Ashley, are you drinking?" he said, looking at her intently.
"Yeah,"
He looked at me, narrowed his eyes, maybe he noticed that my tie was askew, or maybe he noticed Ashley's lipstick on my lips.
"Joey, you're letting her drink?"
"It was just a glass of wine, Craig. You can have one, too, if you want,"
He looked mad but almost like he didn't know what to be mad about. Ashley looked down, her blue eyes fixed on a spot between her feet. I wasn't quite sure if he should drink or not, it might make him realize just what it was he was missing.
He didn't say he wanted the wine, or didn't want it, he didn't do anything but stand there, his expression darkening like Albert's had the handful of times I ever saw him. I could hide it, I'd hid infidelity before, but Ashley was falling apart right there on the couch, she wouldn't look at him or me. He'd get it in a second, he'd put two and two together. Then what? I pleaded with Julia's ghost in my head. 'Julia, what do I do if your son figures out I kissed his girlfriend?' Julia was silent, as she had been for the last four years.
"Here," I said, pouring him some wine, steering him to the other seat in the room. He let me maneuver him, taking the wine and sipping it, "now tell us what happened with Sean," I finished. Ashley looked up, relieved that I was taking control. I wasn't proud of myself, fooling a 15 year old kid that I was supposed to be raising, protecting, teaching, all of that. I wanted to hang my head in my new shame but I couldn't, I looked at him steadily, willing him to drink the wine, to focus on Sean and not on me, not on Ashley's guilt ridden stricken look she was slowly losing.
One more suspicious glance and he sipped more of the wine, and kids don't realize how fast wine can hit you. He was relaxing, losing that watchful look, and I breathed easier. Ashley nearly had her innocent little mask plastered back together, and she smiled at him, her little smile with no teeth.
He started talking about Sean and I glanced at Ashley, and her eyes flickered over to me for just a second. Craig kept talking, using his hands, getting into his story, and I poured him some more wine when he wasn't even looking. I breathed a shaky sigh of relief. We were out of the woods.