I just checked the mail… I still don't own Naruto.

sigh

When the gates of Suna finally came into sight, I felt Shukaku and myself immediately take up an offensive pose. My shoulders and hands tightened and I set my eyes to a piercing glare; if anyone made the wrong move, they were dead.

I could sense the guards' uneasiness as we walked through the gates. One of them hesitated on letting us in. I looked at him and he cowered somewhere out of my sight. His weakness nauseated me.

Do him a favor and put him out of his misery… purred Shukaku. Such weakness won't be missed in this world.

Sometimes Shukaku is very persuasive… when we were passed the gates and I knew my siblings had their eyes on other things, a tendril of sand quickly covered the man's mouth and then the rest of his body. The man screamed bloody hell into the sand at first, but the screams quickly died off as the sand filled his mouth, throat, and lungs. Once I knew he was dead, I retracted the sand… no one would know that I killed him. It just looks as if the man was suffocated…anyone could have done it.

Suna's streets seemed to clear and I could sense trouble all around us. Shukaku's battle cry filled my head and I grasped at it, digging my fingernails into my skull. Temari moved to put her hand on my shoulder but I stopped her of that action immediately. "Don't think that everything is fixed between us girl…" I said. I watched as her eyes went from confused to understanding as all of the horrors she did to me as a child flashed into her mind. It wasn't so much the things she did, but more so the things she didn't do. All the times where she could have hugged me, comforted me, included me in her games…but didn't. The day after Yashumaru tried to kill me she came to my room and screamed at me, tried to hit me, and called me a monster. Still new to the whole "love only yourself" mindset, I tried to explain to her what had happened; but she wouldn't hear any of it.

I remember Shukaku screaming at me to kill her, but I couldn't. She reminded me too much of all the pictures I had seen of mother, and was in fact the only mother-figure I had in my life.

I could not kill her.

But ever since that day, I have been distant from her.

Movement broke me out of my reverie. Someone was sneaking around us, trying to get a flank position without us knowing about it.

Such cowardice in this village…it makes my guts churn.

Just fight me face to face.

Your death is still eminent.

I stopped walking and turned to face the cowardly attacker. My siblings tried to ask me what was going on but my sand forcefully pushed them back. I didn't want them near me, they were in the way.

"Come out." I demanded, staring at a water barrel.

"Gaara…" Kankuro yawned, "it's just a water barrel…"

I narrowed my eyes and a tendril of sand slapped him in the cheek. That shut him up, I will not allow comic relief at such a time.

Slowly and unsurely a ninja came out from behind the barrel.

My eyes widened…a woman.

In all of my history, I have never killed one from the female sex…not counting my mother of course.

Perhaps she knew this and was using her sex to her advantage.

Kill her!

Shukaku demanded. I grasped my head as his screams echoed off of my skull.

No…my small voice answered. I can't…

She will have no problem killing you! So you must kill her FIRST!

His anger radiated from my body. Shukaku's anger at the attacker, at how she was planning to attack us, at me for disobeying him pulsed through my veins and forced them to bulge. I could feel my eyes press against their sockets as he stormed inside of me. I knew that if I killed this girl, her death would not be pleasant and quick.

Kill her! KILL HER! KILL HER!

I dropped to my knees and groaned in agony as his rage got worse. My skull felt like it was about to burst in two. He gave me no choice…SHE gave me no choice. I easily got mad at the girl.

"COWARD!" I yelled as I reached out my arm and my sand snaked up her legs.

She gasped as the sand rubbed against her skin, wearing away the cells that composed her body.

Suddenly, green eyes flashed into my mind again. I folded in on myself and shook. They were watching me. They were ever watching eyes, like Shukaku's…they were judging me. They were frowning on me and my current action.

"Leave me alone…" I muttered. But they wouldn't go away. My shaking became more violent and it seemed all of Suna was poking their heads out of their hiding places, watching me, judging me too.

KILL THEM ALL!!!!

I leaned back and let out an inhuman roar.

All of Suna shook. They knew that sound…it didn't belong to me, it belonged to Shukaku.

I was losing control.

I felt my skin bulge as Shukaku's form threatened to become me again. I grit my teeth as they grew longer and sharper, drool came out from the side of my mouth. I could feel as my eyes began to change again, those tiny yellow irises swimming around in the blackness.

"GAARA!" Temari cried from somewhere behind me. I ignored her, she was not important.

My gaze went to the terrified woman in front of me that was frozen in place by my sand. I snarled and growled at her as Shukaku gained more and more control. The fear in her eyes is what I lived for…what I dreamed of. The pain and suffering reflected in them and for once she knew what I had felt when the village abandoned me and treated me like a monster.

They made me, they cannot abandon their creation and not expect it to turn on them!

That was the reason for all of my killings.

Not just for revenge, but also to help them understand what I have lived through these past six years.

Pain.

Misery.

Loneliness.

That was my reality.

And it was now this woman's as well.

A half laugh half snarl came from deep within me and I could feel everyone around me shudder.

Yes. This is what I live for.

"Now let me exist!" I yelled as the sand tightened around the woman and she screamed.

But suddenly my vision of the woman was blocked and all I saw was Temari's white clothing. I was so shocked by this sudden action that my sand dropped the victim it was holding. But like a cat plays with a mouse before it eats it, the woman was too injured and too exhausted from my "playing" to run away. She just laid there in pure agony as every bone in her legs and hips had been crushed. I focused on her whimpers to keep myself from killing my own sister.

I awaited her verbal onslaught, but surprisingly it wasn't directed at me, but at the half-crushed woman before me.

"How dare you attack us in such a manner!" Temari yelled at the woman. "How can you call yourself a shinobi of Suna and yet attack with such cowardice?! You should be ashamed of yourself…you deserve what Gaara has done to you. May you be an example for all of the other cowards that live within this village. Let it be known that your cowardice will be rewarded by pain and misery…"

Spoken like a true Kazekage's daughter.

During Temari's discourse, I slowly began to regain control. I pushed Shukaku back and regained my own form.

When Temari looked back at me, she was smirking. And it could have been my imagination or my insanity…but she winked at me as well.

"Come on brothers." she said as she started walking again.

Kankuro gave the injured woman one more look and then gave her the worst insult you can give someone in Suna: he spit on the ground. After doing so, he followed after Temari.

I simply turned around and started walking behind them when I heard a soft whisper plead, "please…kill me. Finish me off…put me out of this hell."

I stopped at this. Keeping my back to her I didn't even give her the respect of looking at her when I responded, "you don't deserve death."

And when I heard her whimper and sob again, I spit as well and continued after my siblings.

That woman's career as a shinobi was over. Our medical ninjas were far too dim-witted to fix such massive damage. Her new career would be begging on the streets for money or food or water so that she could survive.

I felt as Shukaku laughed gleefully in my mind.

He was happy.

Therefore, I was happy.

I could still see the green eyes though…

It looked like they were smiling at me.

ÃÃÃÃÃÃ

Temari led us to the hospital. At the entrance she instructed Kankuro to keep watch for any more trouble aimed at us, then she told me that she was going to take me to get some medicine to help my shoulder.

"But shouldn't we tell the elders that we've returned?" protested Kankuro.

"I'd rather get Gaara's shoulder looked after first," Temari replied. "Then we'll worry about the elders."

"They already know we're here." I said, breaking up another potential argument. "They knew as soon as we entered the gates."

Temari and Kankuro exchanged glances then looked at me.

"Come on Gaara." Temari said as she walked into the hospital doors.

I looked at Kankuro and then followed her inside.

I never understood hospitals. The stench of death, sickness, blood, and infection all mixed together and covered up with an even more repugnant smelling disinfectant or sanitizer of some sort. The mixture of blood and bleach never sat well with my nostrils.

Apparently they had switched from bleach to some kind of lemon smelling stuff though, because the stench of lemons filled the air and caused my guts to tighten.

The hospital hallways were empty. All of the medics probably heard our little battle on the street and ran for their lives. As they should have…

They may be incompetent as healers, but they sure weren't stupid.

"Looks like I'll have to heal you myself…" Temari said.

I didn't respond. She already stated the obvious, there was no reason to further dumb our conversation down by reaffirming the obvious.

She turned into an exam room and searched through the cupboards for medicine of some sort. My shoulder wasn't really bothering me…in fact, I welcomed the sensation it was bringing to my body. I never really experienced physical pain before, except for when I engraved "love" onto my forehead. It was entirely new to me, and I rather enjoyed it. But I didn't want to tell Temari that. She seemed intent on fixing it. I think she was just using it as an excuse to keep her mind off of what was about to come.

"Here it is!" Temari said to no one in particular. She produced a small bottle filled with a strong smelling clear liquid. I sniffed it and immediately retracted my nose, giving my sister a glare that caused her to rethink using the fowl smelling medicine on me.

"It's just rubbing alcohol Gaara." she said. "It'll clean it so it won't get infected. It's the best I can do since I don't know any healing jutsu and there aren't any medic ninjas around…it'll sting a lot, but it will help."

That's all she had to say: it will sting. Stinging meant pain, physical pain. I would do anything to make my body take away the pain the constantly burdens my heart.

I nodded at Temari giving her permission to use the medicine. I took my shirt off and sat perfectly still as Temari poured the cold unforgiving liquid onto my shoulder. The sensation it caused was one I've never experienced before…

It stung yet soothed.

Was cold and yet hot.

It cleaned and yet made my broken skin puff up and become red.

I didn't want it to stop…

Temari then took a clean white bandage and bound the wound tightly so that my movement would not cause it to break open again.

"All done." she said, stepping back to admire her first work as a "medic". "This medic stuff isn't so hard… maybe my true calling is to become a medic!"

I just stared at my sister. The last profession I saw my ruthless sister in was a profession that called for finesse and caring.

"What?" she asked as I looked at her skeptically "you can't see me as a medic? You could help me in the hospital… you could be my assistant."

My eyes widened at her statement. Was she joking with me?! There was no way that she was being serious… I am a killer, a monster. I destroy lives, not save them.

My suspicions of her jesting were confirmed when she bumped into me with her shoulder in a playful manner and laughed.

I was thoroughly confused now.

She never joked with me before. Why was she doing it now?

Not knowing how to react to this new treatment, I stared at my hands and decided to just ignore her and her bizarre statements.

While I was staring at my palms, I heard her sigh heavily. I felt her sit down besides me on the table. She was playing with her fingers in her lap, a nervous habit of hers…I was making her nervous.

"Gaara…" she started, "I know that there's a lot of things that have happened in the past that I cannot fix. But I want you to know that no matter what happens, you are my brother. You will always be my brother, and I will do everything I can to protect you. Mother she…"

Something wet hit the table and I looked over and noticed that Temari was crying. I have never seen my sister cry before…but then again, I've never heard my sister talk about our mother before either.

Wiping her eyes, she continued, "right before you were born, mother picked me up and sang me the lullaby that she used to sing to Kankuro and I all the time. When she was done, she told me that it was going to be my job to protect you and watch over you and act as a mother to you since she wouldn't be around to do that…I guess she knew that she wasn't going to live through the birth. I was so young, I didn't know what she was talking about…but I agreed anyways. I feel as though I've dishonored our mother since I've been everything but caring and supportive to you. I know it's probably too late…but if you could maybe trust me a little bit I won't make you regret it. I swear. I…I just want us to be a family. We're going to need each other if we're going to survive the coming punishment…maybe if we…"

I stopped her there by placing my hand on her shoulder. It was the first time I had touched my sister in a non-fighting way in six years. I felt her stiffen underneath my palm, I could tell she was weighing her options on whether or not I was going to hurt her.

I really didn't know what to say to her. What could I say to her? I couldn't tell her that all was forgiven, because it wasn't. I couldn't tell her that I could trust her now, because I couldn't.

"Tell me more about our mother." I said.

At this, Temari smiled slightly and leaned back against the wall that the table was against.

"Well…" she started, "she was a very strong shinobi…"

I leaned back as well and closed my eyes as I listened intently to her words. I kept a picture of our mother in my mind as Temari told me stories of the games she used to play with our mother when she was growing up. Temari told me how her voice used to sound, and how she used to smell. How her clothes use to flow off of her in the most graceful way, and how her beauty used to capture everyone's attention without her even trying. Temari told me that our mother used to soothe both her and Kankuro when they would have bad dreams by singing the same lullaby to them. She then told me that she used to sing to me when I was growing inside of her.

"She loved you Gaara. I know that's hard for you to believe…but she did. It was only near the end of her pregnancy and her life that her love became twisted with revenge and she began to change…I blame it on father."

I opened my eyes at that. She had just unknowingly put a crack in my entire basis of belief.

"Her love for me used to be pure?" I asked quietly.

Temari looked at me and smiled slightly. "Of course it was."

She opened her mouth to say something more but she was interrupted by footsteps coming down the hall quickly.

We both looked at the door, I could sense my sister becoming more and more nervous as the footsteps got closer.

"Here they are." an elderly voice said. It was one of the elders…they were looking for us.

The other elders gathered around outside of the room. I could see Kankuro among the group, his hands were bound behind his back.

"It's begun…" Temari shuddered.

I only stared at the elders with my most menacing glare I could conjure. Shukaku hissed deep within me.

It has begun indeed…