6. Your Timing Sucks
"Aw shit on me," Kevin Ryman said as he read the recently opened letter from the S.T.A.R.S. labeled envelope.
"Lemme guess Kev," said Aaron. "Third time's the charm?"
"Man," complained Kevin as he scratched his head. "I did better though. This test is pretty tough."
"Maybe if you actually tried studying it would help. S.T.A.R.S. is elite man, they aren't gonna take just any slacker off the force."
"But they got kids in there. I saw one of em' that looked way too young to be in a Special Tactics force like S.T.A.R.S."
"If a kid beat you out of a position in that, I'd start questioning whether you just aren't exactly Special Tactics material. You're a good cop Kev, just a little too laid back. What'd they think of your marksmanship?"
"Same as before, A!" Kevin beamed, waving the report card like a kid with a shiny honor roll certificate.
"See man, you're the best shot on the force. We need you here."
"Yeah but," Kevin said, sitting on the bench in front of Aaron, who was rummaging through his locker. "I just know I can make it in there. Just, gotta get my act together."
"I know what this is all about," Aaron said with a sly smirk on his face. "You're after one of those chicks that walks around in here every now and then, and happens to be in S.T.A.R.S. That Valentine," Aaron let out a lustful wolf whistle. "That is some piece of work. I don't many Task workers who go to work in getups like she does, and get away with it! But I hear they don't really give ya' the time of day unless you're one of em'. It's obvious your aspirations are "waist high" if you get what I mean!" Aaron accompanied his innuendo with a swift pelvic thrust, which brought forth a laugh from Kevin.
"Nah," Kevin said waving off Aaron's suggestion. "She's a looker I'll give her that, but I don't really think she's my type. I've got my eye on another one, one that I've seen down at the shooting gallery."
"In the station?"
"Nah public. She had her hair tied up behind her head, and she generally wears track pants with a cut mid riff, and sunglasses on her head. Great, athletic body, and she's an incredible shot. Kinda grumpy though, always brushes off my wily charms, but I think she's just playing hard to get."
"Always want what you can't have, huh Kev?"
"It wouldn't be me if that wasn't the case!"
"So your femme fatale got a name?"
"I'll let you know when I pry it from her cold dead hands."
Kevin began gathering his things from his locker as a young, well-groomed officer in similar attire steps in. Kevin saw him and stood up with arms welcomingly spread.
"Holy shit," he said. "Bout time you showed up!"
"Kev man!" the young upstart said as the two gave a manly embrace, clapping hands and patting each other on the back with their fists. "Great to see ya! I start patrolling tonight, can't wait!"
"Hey Ryman," Aaron said while decked out in his underwear. "You gonna introduce me to your new girlfriend or am I gonna hafta stand here in my drawers until I get a confession?"
"Where's my manners?" Kevin wove his arms between the two in the typical introductory manner. "Aaron, we got some new, young blood joining the force; my old pal, Leon S. Kennedy."
"Howdy do, mad'am!" Leon said, mockingly bowing to Aaron courteously.
"I'm red all over!" Aaron laughs. "Welcome to the force, kid. You got night shift duty?"
"Yeah I'm kind of a night owl," Leon said.
"Shame we didn't get the same shift," Kevin said. "It'd be nice to tear up the town like we used to back home!"
"I don't think a place like Raccoon could handle us together!" Leon said, reminiscing on past memories.
"Well," Aaron said. "I'm sure you guys had your times back then, but the kids today are pretty bad. I just locked one up earlier today for breaking into the high school to steal stuff from the chemistry lab. Probably gonna sell em' to some crack head. His own dad turned him in, now that's something I won't look forward to when I have kids."
Aaron finished buttoning up his shirt. "Well kid, I hope you have a good night on your shift."
"Thanks Aaron," Leon said waving him off. "So what are you gonna do tonight Kev?"
"Aw well," Kev said slinging his gym bag around his shoulder. "I figure I'll swing by J's Bar and hit on the cute new waitress they got there, see if the old Ryman touch can still hit the spot! She's a little Christian girl with a nice butt, you'd probably dig her! Then I'll probably drink myself into oblivion."
"You going out like that?" Leon noted that Kevin was still dressed in officer attire.
"Of course!" Kevin said. "The ladies love a man in uniform. Remember that, kid! Oh, since you might still be new, go talk to Officer Raymond, the guy who looks like Clint Eastwood, so he can assign you a squad car and show you the basics. And hey, if you're up for it next week," Kevin pulled out two tickets from his bag. "I got ticks to the ball game! It'll be sweet!"
"Oh awesome man," Leon said brightly. "You can count on it! Shame we can't catch the one in town."
"Yeah, maybe you can use that badge to get in there and catch a peek at the cheerleaders' room!" The two laughed heartily. "You gotta use the uniform man, I'm tellin' you it work! Okay, enough chit chat with the newbies, I gotta swing. Enjoy yourself!"
"Thanks Kev, don't get too comfy with that bottle!"
Kevin and Leon exchanged one final buddy handshake before Kevin proceeds to the exit of the locker room.
"Hey Kev," Leon called after him. "You get your S.T.A.R.S. app answered yet?"
The smile on Kevin's face disappeared as he stopped in his tracks.
"Erm," he said calling over his shoulder. "No not yet. You know these Special Tactics forces, they can handle field work pretty well but when it comes to paper shuffling, well, their timing sucks!"
Leon laughed, recalling one of Kevin's signature phrases from their childhood and an inside joke they shared. "Okay man, have a good one."
"Yeah," Kevin said as he turned his head around, his fake smile fading again, a sadness overtaking it that he refused to let Leon see. "You too, Leon."