Thanks for all the reviews again! You guys are amazing…
And maybe I'll own Naruto…in my next life.
Fever seemed inevitable in my weakened state.
Within two days of my being in Konohoa, my body had been through enough torment to last a lifetime. From constant back spasms, to painful healing procedures performed by Tsunade, and now the constant changing from boiling hot to freezing cold that my body was going through was enough to drive me even crazier.
My social activities were limited to Tsunade, it seems I had scared that Sakura girl off after that night. Serves her right, I thought but I couldn't help but notice a strange tugging at my heart at her ever occurring absence.
Stop it Shukaku, I stated firmly to the demon, I'm in enough pain, do not make things worse by messing with my insides.
That's not me boy…I'm in here trying to keep us alive.
Then what's going on? What's this feeling?
Silence greeted me.
Figuring it was yet another side-effect of this healing thing that I was experiencing, I figured it would go away.
The clock's hand clicked to a new hour and I stared at it. It was only 11:00 PM, I still had an hour before Tsunade came in to look me over and change the bandages on my back.
Suddenly a wave of overwhelming heat rushed over my body. It was stronger then any desert heat that I've ever experienced. Immediately sweat broke out all over my body and the sheets underneath me soon became damp and no longer comfortable to lie in.
The only thing I could do was lie there and wait it out.
I jammed by eyes shut and clenched my jaw, judging from my recent past experience with fevers, my body would soon cool off to the point where I was freezing. So that's what I waited for.
But it never came, only another wave of heat overcame me and it was suddenly too much for me to handle.
I had to move.
I had to get out of that bed and cool off, otherwise I was going to roast from the inside out.
Bending my knees carefully, I winced as my joints creaked into action. I pulled myself up carefully using my arms to control my movements so that I didn't aggravate my back at all. I carefully swung my legs over the side of the bed and stepped down onto the concrete floor.
The coldness of the floor jolted my senses and it took a lot of control for me not to just lie down right there.
I had to get to a window.
I needed a cold night breeze. I knew from being here before that Konohoa's nights weren't anywhere near the nights in Suna as far as breeze and temperature went, but anything at that point would do to cool me off.
I slowly walked to the door to my room, again I cursed my idiotic siblings for leaving my gourd behind because the use of my third eye would be very helpful right now.
Instead, I had to take my chances and hope that no one was walking the hallways at this time of night.
Slowly opening the door, I found the hallways empty.
Turning right down the hallway, I walked in search of a window. I soon became agitated when I could not find one that provided me with the cooling breeze that I so desperately needed.
I could feel my body getting hotter and hotter. Cooling off was no longer a want, but a need.
My search became more and more desperate, I was becoming frantic…in other words, I was losing control again.
I heard Shukaku laughing at me as he taunted, If I would have known that all it would take to have control was to give you a fever, I would have let those germs in a long time ago. It's too bad you're too weak for me to do anything though…at least I can still torment you mentally…
Suddenly my back spasmed again and the pain mixed in with Shukaku's maniacal laughter was too much for me to take at once, and I feel to my knees in the middle of the hallway.
"SHUT UP!" I yelled, pulling at my hair. My back arched against my will and I forced back a scream.
The sweat rolled off of my body and made the floor slippery, making it impossible for me to crawl away.
Shukaku's laughter kept getting louder and louder, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.
I began pounding my head against the floor, "SHUT UP! SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!!!" I yelled it over and over again, willing him to stop.
"GAARA!" I foreign voice spoke over the laughter that filled my head. "GAARA STOP IT!"
But the voice wasn't completely foreign…it wasn't Shukaku's, but I had heard it before.
Green eyes flashed briefly in front of me.
That's who the voice belonged to, that girl!
I tried crawling away from her, but I wasn't going anywhere, the floor and my skin were much to slick for any sort of friction needed for forward motion.
I felt her hands touch my arm.
"Oh my god, you're burning up…" I heard her state to herself.
Focusing on her touch, Shukaku's laughter died down to a soft chuckle. She was making him go away…
"I'll go get Tsunade." I heard her tell me.
She was leaving me. She was going to go away and Shukaku was going to attack me mentally again.
I grabbed at her red dress and caught a handful of fabric.
"Don't go." I choked out.
Her green eyes focused on me and something flashed across them, was it pity again?
I didn't care though…not then. She could pity me with every fiber in her body for all I cared, just as long as she didn't leave me alone with my demon at that moment.
"Alright, alright, relax," she said cupping the sides of my head. I winced away from her hands and she soon stopped trying to calm me and focused on the damages I had done to myself.
"Your head is bleeding…" she said taking the bottom of her outfit and wiping my forehead.
I just stared at her. I couldn't figure this girl out. She was just too…nice. Kindness just oozed from her being and it made me feel lightheaded and sick.
"Let's get you back to your room. I'll fix you up in there."
She bent over, offering herself as a crutch once again for me to lean on.
I knew there was no way that I was going to make it back to my room using my own power, so I reluctantly wrapped my arm around her shoulders and felt as both of our strengths lifted me off of the floor. Her arm was surprisingly strong and supportive as we made our way down the long hallway. The feel of her under my arm caused me to shake again…fortunately she just thought it was my fever and not the fact that I was so unused to such physical closeness.
With a lot of effort, I was once again back into the bed that I had so desperately wanted escape from but now found myself longing for.
"First things first," I heard her say "let's take care of this temperature." I felt as she pumped soothing cold chakra through my body and I stopped sweating almost immediately, leaving a thick layer of sticky salt all over my body.
"Okay, now for this head-wound you have here…why on earth were you slamming your head against the floor anyways?"
I continued to look at her, I didn't want to answer her question.
She should know why I was doing that…stupid girl.
I looked away from her and stared at the blank wall besides me.
"You don't talk much, do you?" she asked as her hand was placed on my forehead. I could feel my swollen and broken skin slowly heal.
I shifted my eyes so that I was looking at her once again.
"I don't engage in meaningless and brainless conversations." I stated coldly.
I felt the healing stop for a second as she looked at me. Her eyes went from soft to a more animalistic look, and I knew that this girl had a whole side to her that she rarely showed…but that I brought out.
And I liked it.
"I am not brainless and I am NOT meaningless!" she yelled.
I had struck a nerve.
I smirked at her then, "That is yet to be proven."
Then she did something I never expected her to do…she slapped me.
The smack echoed in the room and my cheek stung slightly from the contact.
"You don't know anything about me or what I've been through!" she was becoming emotional now…it was annoying.
"Likewise" I responded, and she went silent immediately.
She re-placed her hand onto my forehead and continued to heal me.
"You're right." she said quietly, "we don't know anything about each other…so let's make a promise. Let's promise to try to understand each other so that we get along a little bit better, eh?"
This girl was unbelievable.
She pitied me.
She hated me.
She feared me.
She had just yelled at and slapped me.
And now she was trying to make a promise with me?!
It was official, this girl was crazier than me.
I snorted shortly at her offer, "I don't make promises."
"Well, why not?" she offered.
"Because people never keep them." I responded shortly.
"I know what you mean…" she whispered softly as her eyes grew distant.
I swore to Shukaku that if she started crying I would strangle her with my bare hands if I needed to.
But instead of tears, she looked at me with a wide smile and said, "How about this then: if I break my promise you can…um…hmmm…" I could see her trying to think of something that I would want from her.
She was wearing on my patience…
I was in the middle of rolling my eyes when I heard, "I know! If I don't keep my promise, you can kill me."
That caught my attention.
This girl was smart after-all…she had offered the one and only thing of hers that I wanted: her life.
I smirked evilly at her and she half-smiled at me, "but you have to promise to stop ignoring my questions and giving me more than one-word answers."
I'm not sure if I liked this little promise…
"Or?" I prompted.
"or you have to…apologize to all the families and people you've hurt over the years."
The line that forms my mouth deepened to a drastic frown.
That task alone would take an eternity to accomplish…and that's besides the fact that I don't apologize to anyone.
"No." I said.
"My life's at stake here," she stated, "so you have to think of something drastic as well."
She was playing games with me.
To say I didn't appreciate it was an understatement.
"If I lose, I will leave and go out into the desert and no one will ever see me again."
I could see her thinking about it…little did she know that this "consequence" was only an incentive for me to break my promise.
"Deal" she said, and she stuck her hand out…apparently she wanted me to shake it.
I just looked at it.
Sighing again, I had a feeling I was going to hear her sigh a lot around me, she said, "First question: why don't you like to be touched?"
My eyes flashed dangerously at her. But this time, she didn't wince away. She kept her ground and waited patiently for my answer.
"Start with something smaller," I stated.
Biting her bottom lip as she thought of something to ask me, I shifted in my bed.
What did I get myself into? I thought.
"How about this then," she cut of my train of thought, "why were you out of your bed?"
I could see that all of her questions were going to need a long explanation.
Trying to keep my patience with this prying girl, I went into my answer.
She stayed by me all night, calming my back spasms and cooling or warming my body up whenever my fever got out of control.
She helped the time pass by, and the long nights that usually plagued me while everyone else slept seemed a little less monotonous.
I decided that maybe it wasn't such a bad thing to have this bizarre pink-haired girl around…at least until she broke her promise and I got to kill her of course.
After a few days, my fever was gone and my back no longer had any stitches in it, it was just red and swollen; it still hurt a lot and movement was still limited since the thin layer of newly formed tissue couldn't stretch like it should.
Life became a routine for me.
1:00 AM to 4:00 AM: Sakura would visit with me and keep me company at night
9:00 AM: breakfast
12:00 PM: Tsunade comes in to heal my back
1:00 PM: lunch
5:00 PM: dinner
12:00 AM: Tsunade returns to change the bandage on my back and to see if any of her healing had any effect. She often cursed under her breath at how slow the healing was taking.
"This is ridiculous, you should be healed by now…aren't you a demon container like Naruto? Shouldn't your healing be accelerated? That plus my healing added, you should be out of here by now."
I looked away at her puzzling extremely annoyed. Normally I would be healed by now…or at least I thought. The only time I've ever been injured prior to this was when the Uchiha injured me, and that wound was almost healed by the time that Temari took care of it in the hospital. But I also knew that Shukaku wasn't helping me this time. He told me that if I was stupid enough to take on such a punishment then I deserved to suffer it without his aid.
"Shukaku is not helping heal me." I was surprised that I had just said that to the woman. In fact, I found myself answering a lot of people's questions lately…it started happening after Sakura started talking to me and visiting me every night. I didn't like this new habit that I had picked up. Apparently her loquaciousness was contagious…
"Well that would explain it then…but I don't know how much longer I can keep this healing up. I've been exhausted every day since I concentrate most of my energy onto you…" she sighed then and squeezed the bridge of her nose with her fingers. "If the village begins to suffer, then I will have to stop healing you."
"Understood." I said, I was actually surprised that she hadn't stop healing me already.
I kept glancing at the clock… I had to get this woman out of the room before Sakura came in. I didn't want Tsunade to know that every night Sakura visited me because she might get the wrong idea. She might think that we were somehow romantically involved instead of me waiting for her to slip up so that I could kill her.
I heard the clock's hand click to a new hour and I almost visibly winced, Sakura was always on time. Never had she been late, and true to her form, as soon as the clock clicked to 1:00 AM, I heard the door open and her step inside.
"Oh, Tsunade…" I heard her say a little surprised, "what are you still doing here? Is everything okay?"
I looked up at the blonde woman who wore an expression of both surprise and also a small smirk graced her lips.
I knew she was planning something, and I knew I wasn't going to like it at all…
"Sakura, what are you doing here?" Tsunade asked in a sweet voice, much too innocent for the look that she had on her face.
"Well…" Sakura started, "I visit Gaara every night since he doesn't sleep and all, and I figured he would like some company to help pass the time."
This time I visibly winced. How can one girl go from being intelligent to being the dumbest person in the world?
"Is that so…" I heard Tsunade respond. I could actually see the wheels in her head plotting against me. "Well this is convenient since I was just telling Gaara that I could no longer heal him."
I looked at the lady who was now lying to her student…she never said that she was going to stop healing me, just that if the village started to suffer she would…what was she doing…
"And I thought that I was the only one that Gaara would let heal because, well, the boy has serious trust issues…"
I hissed at her. What was it with Konohoa and playing games? I had a strong urge to kill the woman…no one insults me, especially right to my face.
"But now that I know that he lets you near him, I'll have you take over the healing for me."
So that's what she was planning. That sneaky old bitch…
"You…you want me to heal him?" I heard Sakura stutter in surprise.
"That's what I said," Tsunade stated matter-of-factly. "It will be a good case for you to learn on. I will be here to help guide you through the first healing, but from then on, you're on your own."
The woman left no room for discussion. She promptly left the room leaving one stunned Sakura and one extremely pissed off me.
How dare she just hand me off like I was just this object. I understood that I was unwanted, but now she handed me to this amateur who didn't know anything and now I was probably going to be crippled for the rest of my life due to her lack of experience.
Shukaku…help! I yelled. I was only greeted by laughter.
It serves you right boy. I told you not to let her near you and forget all about her. But you wouldn't. And now you have to deal with the problem you created for yourself.
I scowled openly. I didn't like the way things were happening, I wasn't in control of the situation and that could only mean that it will lead to hurt and betrayal…just like when I wasn't in control of Yashumaru…
"If you don't want me to heal you, you just have to say so…" I heard a voice say.
I looked over to my right and noticed that Sakura was now standing next to my bed, apparently she thought the scowl that I had was just for her.
Instead of relaxing my face and putting the girl at ease, I turned on her.
"Why are you doing this?! Why can't you just leave me alone like everyone else!? This is all your fault! I should just leave now so that you don't mess my back up more than it already is and take my chances on self-healing!"
That wild look returned to her eyes and I knew that she wasn't going down without a fight…this excited me…fighting is what I live for.
"This is NOT my fault. If you hadn't had taken on all the punishment for your country then you wouldn't be lying there like a dead dog! And if you want to leave, go right ahead! The door is right there, no one is keeping you here! And I won't leave you alone because…"
She stopped suddenly and stared at the ground.
I kept staring at her, waiting for her to finish her sentence. …because you're a killer, …because you can't be trusted, …because you're a monster
That's what I was expecting her to say, but she couldn't get it out for some reason.
She looked at me again, but her eyes weren't wild anymore, they were sad and pitiful.
"because you're so lonely."
She had finished her sentence, and for once I didn't have a come-back to throw at her. If she had chosen to say anything else, I could easily counter her attack, but that statement…I had nothing.
I looked away from her then, "I am not lonely."
I heard her shuffle closer to the bed and sit down on the edge of it. Her closeness was making me nervous.
"I read your file," she whispered and my head snapped back to face her "Tsunade put me in charge of your medical history…and when she dropped your file into my hands, it was the thickest file I had ever seen. I only now finished reading it. It told me everything, how the demon was sealed inside of you, how your mother died, how your father turned you into some big experiment and isolated you, and then all the records of what you did every minute of everyday up to age six…what activities you did, what you ate, what training you were put through, what you played with…it was obvious that you were shunned by everyone. But then, the records just stop. On January 19th, the day that you turned six, they just stop, and then there's nothing else on you…why?"
Damn this girl. I never knew that I had a medical file…although I wasn't surprised by that fact either.
She was waiting for an answer…that stupid promise we had made each other came back to mind.
I wondered if now was the right time to break my promise and disappear forever. But when I looked at the expression she had on her face, I felt that I had to answer. This girl now knew almost everything about me and why I'm the way I am today…besides, maybe if I told her the truth about why the records stopped she would become disgusted and leave me alone for good…
"They stop there because the man who was taking those records was killed." I baited her.
"Who was he? And how did he die?" she took the bait; hook, line, and sinker.
"He was my uncle, and I killed him by crushing him with my sand and blessing Suna with a shower of his blood."
My plan didn't work, in fact, it had backfired on me. She wasn't running away in fear or disgust, she was scooting closer to me on the bed AND she was asking more questions.
"Why did you kill him."
I was infuriated at her, why didn't she run like everyone else?! I just wanted her to leave me alone…
"I killed him because my father ordered him to have me assassinated, and my uncle had always hated me, so he eagerly accepted the order. When his attempt failed, I killed him."
"But…the records show that he took care of you. He took you for walks and fed you and interacted with you, he gave you everything a child could ask for…how can someone who does that hate the person he's doing it for?"
"Because I killed his sister. My mother unwillingly gave her life up and I became a curse for the village and for my family. He may have done all those things for me, but he never once touched me or comforted me…but he told me he loved me. Only I found out what "love" really meant the night I killed him."
"So that's why…" Sakura said slouching. "That's why you don't trust people and why you don't like to be touched…because everyone you know has betrayed you and no one has ever reached out to help you…"
I looked away from her. This conversation was going nowhere, I shouldn't have answered her stupid little questions.
"no one has ever reached out to you…until now."
I froze.
What did she mean by that?
Before I could stop her, I felt her arms snake around my neck as she gently pulled me into a hug.
I couldn't move. My body was frozen and my eyes were wide. What was this girl thinking?!
I tried to push her off of me, but she only grabbed on tighter. "It's okay," she whispered into my ears and her breath brushed against the side of my face and my body started shaking again.
"Let go." I said quietly. I didn't need this, I had been through enough punishment, I didn't need this girl playing stupid little touching games with me.
When she didn't loosen her grip, I stated more firmly, "Let GO."
Still no response. This girl was stubborn.
The shaking only increased as my impatience mixed in with the shock of feeling someone holding me.
"I said LET GO!" and this time I used all of the chakra that I had slowly been recovering to take the dirt out of the plant pot that was in the corner of the room and used it to pull her away from me.
I pushed her off of the bed and was hoping to drop her onto the ground to get my message across, but the girl was quick and she landed gracefully on her feet.
I stared at her dangerously, I was breathing heavily… that took more effort then I thought it would.
"Never…do that again." I said as threatingly as I could. The dirt hit the ground, I didn't have the strength to put it back. "or…"
She chuckled slightly at this, "or you'll kill me, I know, I know."
She thought this was amusing!
Apparently death threats no longer worked on her…so I switched tactics. "No, but I'll make you wish you were dead."
That one caught her attention. She was no longer smirking at me. Now I was the one smirking at her.
"You're impossible." she said, crossing her arms. "Why can't you just trust me?"
"I only trust myself." I stated simply.
A smile crossed her face when she said, "You say you don't need anyone, but that night when I found you in the hallway you didn't want me to leave you…why is that?"
She had trapped me. I couldn't tell her the truth, because it would only give her more incentive to stick around. I had to make something up and quick…
She walked closer to the bed and leaned in and whispered into my ear, "See? You are lonely".
And with that, she smiled at me and walked out of the room.
I cursed under my breath. This girl was going to be the death of me. Apparently she had taken on fixing my "issues" as part of the healing of my back.
"Baka…" I hissed at her as I stared at my open palms.
Remember boy…don't trust anyone. I'm the only one whom you can trust…
I know…what are we going to do about our new "situation"?
We'll let her get close to us, then we'll attack her when her guard is down and crush her completely. We'll rip her soul to pieces and she'll be so emotionally broken that she will only remain because her body is still alive, but she will be dead inside.
I smirked at this.
Shukaku had a way of always cheering me up.
I stared out the window once again as Shukaku filled my head with promises of torture and pain for the pink-haired witch that thought she could fix me.