Thanks for the reviews guys! Sorry the last chapter was so short, this story is sort of writing itself and I can't always control the length of the chapters. Now, is the future set in stone? Keep reading to find out...
Chapter 6.
Desmond walked through the jungle, thinking nothing of where he was going. Two images kept repeating in his mind, as though they were being played on a loop. One he had actually seen, the other he could only imagine.
Those three children, playing in the sand. Himself, slain by a bullet. He couldn't get rid of those pictures. They were torturing him.
It had been a few weeks since his journey into the future. He still hadn't told Kate and Sawyer what he'd seen. He wasn't sure he should. It was going to happen, no matter what he did. They'd see it for themselves in time, and it would undoubtedly be a whole lot better then hearing about it second hand.
Anyway, they hadn't told anyone they were expecting yet. Except maybe Jack and Juliet. Desmond had seen the four caught up in private conversations many times over the past few weeks, and it made sense that the doctors would know what was happening. They probably thought there were still huge risks involved. Desmond knew better.
Desmond was surprised no one else had figured it out, with the way Sawyer had been acting. He'd become a little overprotective, to say the least. Kate wasn't allowed to carry anything anymore; just the previous day, Desmond had seen Sawyer take two water bottles out of her hands, insisting on carrying them the short walk from the water trough to their tent. And he'd never before seen Sawyer act out the way he did when Hurley accidentally bumped into Kate.
It was entertaining, he had to admit.
Desmond was so distracted as he was walking, he barely noticed when he reached the beach. When he did realise where he was, he wondered about the lack of people milling about. Usually, everyone spread out along the beach, each caught up in their own activities. But this day, everyone was gathered outside one tent, whispering to each other.
Desmond started to walk a bit faster. Something had to be wrong, for everyone to be behaving like this. As he got closer, he noticed it was Kate and Sawyer's tent everyone was gathered around, and his heart leapt in his throat. There couldn't be anything wrong with one of them. He'd seen them in the future. So why was everyone there?
Now he was closer to the tent, he could hear agonized cries coming from within. Just as he drew level with the crowd, Jack exited the tent, his face grim.
"Alright everyone, give them some space. Everything's going to be fine." He looked worried, his expression completely contradicting his words.
The crowd slowly dispersed, but Desmond stayed. He had to know what was going on. By now, he'd figured out that it was Kate he was hearing. What was happening to her?
Jack started to walk down to the ocean. Desmond followed. He waited until he was sure there was no one around to hear them, then asked the question that was burning inside him.
"What happened to her?"
Jack sighed. He looked tortured.
"Kate was pregnant." The way he said it, he obviously expected it to be enough information. But it wasn't. Desmond already knew about the pregnancy. What he didn't know was what was wrong with her now.
Then it registered. Jack had used the past tense. She wasn't pregnant now.
Desmond was in shock. How could that be? Jack noticed his expression, and elaborated on his previous statement.
"Juliet and Sawyer are in there with her now. She's in a lot of pain, but Juliet thinks it should be pretty straight forward." Jack looked like he was holding back tears as he said this. "It might take a while though." He slowly sank down to the ground, staring out at sea. Desmond sat beside him.
They stayed like that, neither saying anything, both trying to block out the sounds coming from the tent behind them. Neither was aware of the time passing.
Eventually, Juliet emerged from the tent, looking weary. Jack saw her, and stood up to meet her. Desmond followed suit.
"How is she?" Jack asked as soon as Juliet was within a reasonable distance.
She nodded, not quite sure how to answer. "She'll be okay, I think. Physically, anyway. Sawyer's still with her. I think they need to be alone for awhile. I'll go back and check on her later."
Jack nodded. Desmond couldn't believe they were so calm about this. It wasn't right, it wasn't supposed to happen.
Jack and Juliet left, leaving Desmond alone with his thoughts again. How did this happen? He'd seen the baby alive. He'd seen her in her twenties, heard her say she was having a baby of her own. But now she was gone…
Over the next few days, Desmond continued to struggle with what he'd seen. Eventually, he decided that the Kate he'd seen in the future must have had a miscarriage. She hadn't been pregnant with Laura; that was still to come. Things started to seem okay again. The three children would still come, just not yet. It had to happen. It wasn't possible to change the future.
The only problem was, Kate and Sawyer seemed to be having a little trouble moving past what had happened. Sure, it hadn't been very long and they were certainly allowed to be grieving, but they weren't talking to each other at all. It wasn't anyone's fault, Desmond thought, but neither seemed to be able to move out of the rut they were stuck in.
Kate was exhausted. She wanted to sleep; she wanted darkness. She wanted to be left alone. For the most part, people were ignoring her, and even though it was just what she wanted, it only made her feel worse.
She was vaguely aware that time was passing. People were eating now. She didn't want food. She didn't think she'd ever want it again. She just… didn't feel like it.
She lay alone in the tent she now shared with Sawyer. She had no idea where he was. She was glad. It was too hard being near him. She didn't know what to say to him anymore.
Eventually, Sun came in to talk to her. Kate didn't say anything to her. Sun asked her to come to the garden with her. Kate heard her say something about fresh air; she wasn't exactly listening. Whatever it was, Kate didn't want to leave her tent. She new that if she spent time with people, she'd probably start to feel better. Things would seem okay for a while. But then, later, when she was on her own again, there'd be that slow crash and burn. She'd feel worse than before. It would be crippling.
Kate didn't want to feel that. It would be better to forego the relative happiness than to suffer its aftermath. Sun left, looking disappointed.
Now, on top of everything else, Kate felt guilty. She was a horrible friend. Maybe it wasn't too late to go after Sun. Anything to alleviate the guilt. But she doesn't. She couldn't.
All she could think about was that day. It was her fault, it had to be. The guilt of it was what kept her from moving.
Lying there, in the tent where it had happened, she could smell the blood, even though it was gone. The odor had permeated the walls of the tents, she thought. She wondered if it would always be there.
She hoped it would. It was horrible, it was sick, but on some level she enjoyed the smell of the blood. It meant that she still remembered, and the last thing she wanted to do was forget.
Vincent ran into the tent. He lay down close to Kate's head, and for a while they just stared at one another. Kate felt that Vincent understood what she was feeling. She wanted so much to reach over and pat him, but she didn't think she had the energy. Just as she started to move her hand, someone outside called the dog. Vincent looked towards the voice, then back to Kate. Regretfully it seemed, he got up and ran off, before Kate had a chance to touch his fur. Disappointed, she dropped her hand back to the ground.
The sun moved slowly across the sky, but Kate barely noticed. She just lay there. She couldn't do anything else.
Sawyer was alone in the jungle. This was his choice; the last thing he wanted at that moment was to be with other people. He wanted to be alone, with his misery, his violence, and his anger. They were his most loyal companions.
He wanted to punish himself for everything that had happened. He was chopping wood, violently, venting his anger in the only safe way he knew how. At least, safe for everyone else. Secretly, he was hoping for some kind of mishap to occur. He thought he deserved it; he deserved pain.
The sound of Kate's screams kept playing in his head. He heard them, over and over again. It was so real he wasn't sure if they were only in his head.
He swung his axe into the wood, as loud as he could to try to drown out the painful cries. It wasn't working. Every time the thud of the axe failed to mask a scream, he felt even more frustrated. But only for a second. Then he felt relieved, because deep down, he wanted to remember. He felt he owed it to his unborn child to at least remember its last moments. Then he thought of Kate, and the cycle started all over again.
His arms were aching; blisters were forming on his hands. He enjoyed the pain. He deserved it, he wanted to increase it. He would have loved nothing more than to gradually build the pain until it became so intense that he blacked out.
He realised it was stupid, of course. Part of him didn't care. Another part of him thought he deserved even more pain and punishment now for such idiocy.
Hurley stopped by. He seemed to realise what was going on with Sawyer, but he got nowhere when he tried to talk to him. After Sawyer exploded at him, he left quickly. Now Sawyer had a new reason to hate himself. He'd just driven away a person he was just beginning to consider a friend. The again, why would Sawyer need a friend anyway? He'd always gotten by just fine on his own.
At sunset, Sawyer sat on the beach staring at the sea. He was more than slightly annoyed at how clichéd it was, but the waves were having a soothing effect on him. He felt calmer as he sat there, having finally laid down his axe.
Of course, as soon as he noticed this sense of calmness overtake him, because of the waves, of all things, he got annoyed again. But as he glared at the water, cursing it for playing its tricks on him, the gentle lapping of water on the sandy beach soothed his frustration. And so it went on.
By this time, Kate had finally managed to get up and leave her tent. She was so tired. Every movement she made seemed to completely drain her of energy. She considered turning around and going right back to bed. Then she saw Sawyer in the distance.
She started to wander over to him. She wasn't really sure why. She felt a bit like she would collapse before she even got there. She wondered why she was bothering.
Sawyer watched he walk towards him. For a moment he stopped in his furious mental battle with the waves, and stared at her. She looked like she was about to pass out.
He thought of getting up to help her, but he couldn't. He liked knowing someone lese was suffering. It made him feel less alone. He felt guilty for feeling that way, but didn't see the point in denying it. At the same time, he wished there was something he could do to end both their suffering.
Kate finally made it to where he was, and dropped onto the sand beside him. Neither acknowledged the other. They stayed that way for a while.
Sawyer felt his anger disappear next to Kate. She always had a calming effect on him. She leaned against him, weary. The physical contact felt good.
Next to Sawyer, feeling his presence, Kate felt grounded. Like she might actually make it through this after all. After a few minutes of them sitting together in silence, she leaned into him further, half lying across his lap. He held onto her tightly, as though he needed her as much as she needed him. Together, they watched the waves roll across the sand, losing all sense of time.
Desmond sat, watching Kate and Sawyer. They seemed to have fixed things a little, and he was glad. But still, there was an aura of sadness surrounding them on that beach, and he couldn't stand to see it. They needed hope. He was the only one who could give it to them.
Maybe that's why he'd seen that first vision. He knew he always saw things for a reason. The second and third one told him what he had to do, what sacrifice he was going to make. He'd wondered what was so important about seeing the family on the beach together. Maybe this was why. Maybe he was supposed to tell them.
If he only told them about the first flash, if he let on that it was all he saw, they wouldn't ask any questions. He'd have to insist he hadn't seen anything else. He couldn't let them know the truth.
He walked over to where they sat, lost in their thoughts. He had no idea what he was going to say to them. How do you make someone believe you can see the future? He decided the only thing to do was say it, and hope for the best.
"Lately I've been having these …visions. I see the future." Probably not the best start, but it was the truth. Kate and Sawyer stared at him. Neither said anything. They probably thought he was crazy.
"I know it sounds ridiculous" That was an understatement. Desmond had a feeling he wasn't getting very far. An angry response from Sawyer confirmed his suspicions.
"What makes you think - "
Desmond cut him off. "I saw you. In the future. With your kids."
Now he had their attention. Their eyes widened, stunned. Even Sawyer seemed willing to listen now. Desmond continued, looking at him, sensing that he would have a harder time believing than Kate.
"I saw you with a little girl, playing on the beach. The I saw you, Kate, join them with a pair of toddlers. Twins, a boy and a girl." Sawyer looked like he wanted so badly to believe this. Kate, meanwhile, was staring at Desmond, her eyes hungry for more information.
"You looked happy. Like you didn't have a care in the world. And the kids… they were the most adorable things I've ever seen."
Kate was crying now. Even Sawyer looked teary. They were clinging to each other, Sawyer stroking Kate's hair. Neither seemed capable of speaking.
"That's your future. That's what you have to look forward to. I don't know when it'll happen exactly. But I know that it will."
Desmond started to leave, sensing that they needed to be alone. He was glad he told them. He wasn't sure if they believed him, but he could tell they wanted to. It was something.
As he was leaving, Kate finally spoke, so softly he hardly heard it.
"Thank you."
He turned back and nodded to her, then walked away.
Review please!